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Author Topic: How likely?  (Read 6583 times)

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Offline chris123

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How likely?
« on: November 05, 2007, 06:22:11 AM »
Hello everyone,

thanks for having such a wonderful website for wanting to ask a question.

Anyways, can i have your opion on this situation?

I hooked up with another man this past week that I met online, Prob a bad idea.
Anyways, I went to his place, we talked. I asked about his status, he said he was negative.
He said he is only a top and gets tested 2x a year. I performed oral on him twice (not to completion) and we had anal sex once, with me as a recipient. We used  a latex condom (Lifestyles) and quite a bit of lube. We had sex once time. He did not ejaculate in the condom. I read through the "read this section" and am not clear if the condom broke.  When he puled out, it was still intact and on his penis to the base of the condom. Would I have known if the condom broke?  anways, i suffered some slight pain and maybe some tearing...no bleeding luckily. Even though we used lube.
I spoke to him again online and asked him again about his status. He reiterated that he was STD free.

Even had he lied, was this sex safe? Is testing warranted?  Was I safe enough?

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2007, 06:24:58 AM »
You would have known if the condom fail. You don't need to test. Continue to use condoms and plenty of water base lube.

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2007, 06:28:24 AM »
thanks rapid rod for a rapid response!
 i forgot to mention i performed oral on him as well,...he did not ejaculate in my mouth.

How would I know if the condom failed? it covered his penis all to the base (is that sufficient)
and what about the slight tearing?

thanks again.

Offline capaAUSTRALIA

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2007, 08:23:51 AM »
I hope it is okay if I can put in my 2 cents.

Like you, I have worried myself sick over a zero risk situation with a few woman on the weekend - a handjob and condom protected oral. I don't now why. You did all the right things and took all the precautions.

I have researched HIV for the past month, every day, and, have spoken with HIV specialists, nurses from Secual health Clinics, four different doctors etc.

Here's what I can tell you:
- Latex condoms are 100% protection against HIV. If they break, you will know. They SNAP right off.
- Oral sex is very safe. But nothing to worry about since he did not climax. Among the millions of people infected with HIV, there have only been a handful of cases where oral sex is alleged, but, there is no basis in HIV science to support it. HIV specialists are very sceptical about this mode of transmission.
- Saliva has a property that actually neutralises HIV and your stomach acid will kill it. But he didn't climax so no worries!
- A leading HIV academic was noted as saying that if vaginal and anal sex was not possible and only oral sex could be performed, the HIV problem would disappear!

I really have learned a whole lot about HIV during my research. If you continue to take those precautions and use water based lube to ensure the condom does not break, you can expect a negative HIV result every time.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2007, 08:57:02 AM »
Capa, it's actually not ok for you to advise others here. I am sure you mean well, but only those who have been authorized to do so are responding to those who write in here. Thanks for your cooperation with our rule.

Andy Velez

Offline capaAUSTRALIA

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2007, 09:00:21 AM »
Okay sorry Andy - I totally understand.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2007, 09:00:37 AM »
Chris, when a condom fails it's not a subtle event with a teensy weensy little hole somewhere. It's very obvious because the wearer ends up with something that looks like a fringed hula hoop on his penis.

So believe me, you would have known if that happened.

You can have all the anal sex you like in either role as long as the insertive partner always, without exception, wears a latex condom. They provide very effective protection.

It sounds like you're new to this and while that is exciting it also can stir up a lot of anxiety. Just keep using those condoms and you'll be ok as far as protection from HIV transmission.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2007, 03:34:46 PM »
It sounds like you're new to this and while that is exciting it also can stir up a lot of anxiety. Just keep using those condoms and you'll be ok as far as protection from HIV transmission.

Cheers,
[/quote]

Thanks Andy as well.
I assume that this was a "no-risk" situation?

Your statement above is somewhat true. I sense that you get a vibe like that from some people on here.
The truth is, I am a "closeted" gay man, and having been foolish in the past, I sometimes am projecting fear on even a non-risk situation?  maybe, ....just want to be super cautious now based on foolish experience in the past.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2007, 05:09:25 PM »
All of that notwithstanding you STILL weren't at risk in this recent incident.
Andy Velez

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2007, 11:08:07 PM »
Thanks again Andy for the reassurance.

Question...one more if you or someone would not mind answering...

Why does it seem that so many people have had a condom rip or tear during sex?
I mean, I have never had one tear,...at least not to my knowledge.
Are condoms really not made that well?  I used a copious amount of lube and still suffered some slight anal tearing. I admit that no real rimming was done and I had not had sex 3 months prior to this most recent incident.  But why am I reading so much about condom tearing?

Also, if the opposing "top" guy...accidentally touched the tip of his penis with the condom before realizing he was unrolling the condom on the wrong way....is that still a risk? You know what I mean? 
For instance, when you take the condom out of the package and you see you touched the tip of your penis on the wrong part before unrolling it. Would that be  a risk? Just wondering.

I wont ask anymore questions.   THANKS

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2007, 12:53:14 AM »
Latex condoms when properly used almost never fail.

Given that statement it follows that condoms fail when they are used incorrectly:

1. The condoms are out of date or have been stored incorrectly (ie in wallet or a car glovebox);
2. The condoms are used with an oil based lubricant (oils degrade latex)
3. The packages are opened with out due regard to the contents (ie you rip them as you tear them open)

. . . I could go on, but hopefully you're sharp enough to get my point. Condoms fail when they are not used properly.

As for this:

Also, if the opposing "top" guy...accidentally touched the
 tip of his penis with the condom before realizing he was unrolling the condom on the wrong way....is that still a risk? You know what I mean?
For instance, when you take the condom out of the package and you see you touched the tip of your penis on the wrong part before unrolling it. Would that be  a risk? Just wondering.


No this does not constitute a risk.

I wont ask anymore questions.   THANKS

I wish I could believe this, I really do.

MtD

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2007, 06:06:25 AM »
MtD,

I appreciate your quick and lack of subtle response.
I will find another venue to ask questions rather than on here. Having a heightened sense of fear was more my wanton to ask the question to begin with on this forum. Sometimes one has to be careful where to get accurate safe sex information. 

Thanks everyone.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2007, 06:09:13 AM »
Well at least he was as good as his word.

That wasn't a question.

MtD

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2007, 08:35:50 PM »
I know Matty the Damned will want to beat me....but..
Is a Home Access kit just as reliable at 3 months as a Oraquick test?

Curious.

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2007, 08:38:06 PM »
Yes!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2007, 09:20:20 PM »
Both are approved tests you can rely upon.
Andy Velez

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #16 on: November 17, 2007, 05:05:51 PM »
Andy,

"Another" question for you, if not mind answering.
How many men/woman have you seen in your years of answering questions, etc. did you see become infected from performing oral sex (on a man).

Thank You.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #17 on: November 17, 2007, 05:18:25 PM »
What part of oral sex is it that you don't understand, is NOT a risk of contracting HIV?

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #18 on: November 17, 2007, 05:29:58 PM »
thanks raapid rod.
But even if the person is HIV+, should the person inform me of their status (if they knew) or should I just use condoms for performing oral sex now and in the future regardless? That is what I am really getting at...just did not know how to word it till now.

THanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #19 on: November 17, 2007, 05:45:33 PM »
Deciding whether or not to use condoms for giving oral is strictly up to you. You cannot depend upon someone telling you their HIV status if positive. Even if they tell you they are negative they might not know their accurate status.

Although the statistics and longterm studies point to giving oral being mainly risky in theory rather than actual, some anecdotal reports continue of those who claim they became infected only through giving oral. Issues such as poor oral care or oral wounds due to dental surgery ejaculation orally may increase the risk level.

Which comes down to this being a matter of you deciding  what level of risk you are prepared to accept.

Andy Velez

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2007, 07:15:57 PM »
Hello Ann.

I read your repsonse to p.toole about "still worried about oral sex".
Even though that person performed oral sex on a woman, can the same be said about that of a man..even if he did not ejaculate?

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #21 on: November 21, 2007, 07:45:41 AM »
Call me crazy, but is LiveLifetothefullest full of crap?
This guy would have to have had some other risk that caused a reactive test with Home Access.

Besides, when I tested with Home Access, the rep there told me that they can do a Western Blot on the sample if the test was reactive on their ELISA.  This guy stated he got his results in a week. It takes 2 days minimum on their ELISA test, no less the Wester Blot would have taken much longer.
His time frame with Home Access does not jive correctly.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #22 on: November 21, 2007, 08:47:55 AM »
Hold on! Making a comment about someone else's thread as being "full of crap" is not acceptable here. That kind of stuff can get you a time out here for flaming.

Your own situation has been repeatedly addressed by several here. I am not encouraging repetitious questions on the same issues but I am intending to discourage you from making adverse comments about others.
Andy Velez

Offline chris123

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Reading thebody.com today
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2007, 09:03:46 PM »
Hello anyone,

I was reading www.thebody.com today, and Dr. Bob responded to a poster's question about magnetic couples.  In the post the man says he is HIV+ and that his bf is HIV-.  The man wanted to know what the risk assessment ona a scale of 1-10 on how dangerous his risk was of having his HIV- bf performing sex on him.  Well, awkwardly, Dr. Bob just said that it was "up to that person's level of comfort" because pre-cum is still an infectious fluid. If pre-cum is indeed an infectious fluid, why is it that oral sex w/o the use of a condom really not considered a "risk". Yet, regarding anal/vaginal sex, it is a risk.  Is it because of the environemnts in the vagina and anal area that make HIV more susceptible?

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2007, 10:30:58 PM »
It's because of the enzymes in the saliva that inhibits HIV.

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #25 on: December 05, 2007, 05:49:52 PM »
If someone wanted to get tested for all std's,...what is the longest wait time to wait for?
Which STD is it?
I know this is an HIV forum, just did not know if anyone out there knew.

Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #26 on: December 05, 2007, 07:03:27 PM »
Chris,

In general, the other STIs can be tested for between ten days and two weeks after an incident you're worried about. You can test sooner if you're having symptoms such as a discharge from your penis.

Hiv and syphilis, however, share a three month window period for a conclusive negative result.

And remember, you did not have an hiv risk in your protected encounter.

Ann

edited because I left out a really crucial word
« Last Edit: December 05, 2007, 07:23:06 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #27 on: December 05, 2007, 08:06:16 PM »
I thank you Ann!
I am awaiting some CT scan results from Wed.
I have had major middle/lower back pain that is going down my hip to the groin area.
I have been on numerous antibioitics including Levaquin, Doxy, and Zithromax.
I just hope and am hoping that it is not or affects of and STI.

Much Thanks!

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #28 on: December 09, 2007, 07:13:55 PM »
Well, I want to say that my CT results were normal.
But hip and back are still in pain. Does anyone know if this could be HIV or STD related? merely curious.

No less, may I ask this question from a previous encounter?
I received anal sex back in the early part of August of this year whereby the provider did enter me briefly and pulled out and did not ejaculate.
I tested with my local Health Department at 10 weeks with an Oraquick -finger prick test.
I tested with one of those Home kits (Home Access) at 12 and 14 weeks.
Is it safe to say I am ok from that August experience?

Thanks all for your input.

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #29 on: December 09, 2007, 07:16:40 PM »
Forgot to mention that all 3 tests were negative.
I last tested on Nov 14th with Home Access kit. I am hoping I can rely on that result.
The risk was on August 3rd.

Offline Ann

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #30 on: December 09, 2007, 09:04:33 PM »
chris,

The risk was on August 3rd.

No, it wasn't. You did not have a risk. You used a condom.

You are conclusively hiv negative. You do not have hiv. You do not need further testing.

You ARE hiv negative.

Keep using those condoms and you'll stay that way.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #31 on: December 09, 2007, 09:12:17 PM »
I apologize for the confusion. The unprotected anal sex was on August 3rd and the last risk was on Nov 3rd with the condom.
I tested in Oct and again on Nov 14th with the Home Kit.

Thanks for the patience and understanding.
The condom related event was on Nov 3rd.

Thanks Ann!


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #32 on: December 09, 2007, 10:16:23 PM »
Chris,

You are conclusively HIV negative. As you were told earlier the protected anal sex was not a risk for HIV transmission. The August encounter has been dealt with by your November test results.

It's time for you to move on from this. You will not be permitted to use these forums to wring your hands and obsess over no risk situations.

MtD

Offline chris123

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #33 on: December 10, 2007, 04:29:44 AM »
MtD,
Thanks for the prompt response.
No, not wringing my hands over either the experiences.
Just clealrly forgot to mention my unprotected sex risk that I wish I had mentioned in the original post.
But yes, I tested at 14 weeks negative with Home Acesss.

Thanks for all your help on here MtD, Ann, and Andy.

Does this site take donations?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How likely?
« Reply #34 on: December 10, 2007, 05:05:05 AM »
No, we do not take donations. Perhaps you might consider making a donation to your local AIDS Service Organisation or AIDS charity.

MtD

 


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