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Author Topic: Advice!!!!!  (Read 5575 times)

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Offline Kobe

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Advice!!!!!
« on: November 05, 2007, 05:00:01 AM »
hey great Guys!!! I would like to congratulate all of you, for having this kind of website. you are really helping many many people and open their eyes about HIV/AIDS. I lived in a country where people are not really aware of HIV, that's why many people already risk their lives and including myself. this what happened to me, last september 2007 i decided to try some Female sexual worker, i'm still unexperienced and that night I'm very frustrated and wanted an experience. This is the incident, I opened my condoms 10 mins before she put the condoms  into my penis, and I didn't check for it. It was also my first time to wear condoms. She made some Handjob to me for several minutes. And Some frottage for 5 secs, But I didn't have enough erection,(because my mind wasn't really there)  so she made again some handjobs. After that I felt erection so she inserted my penis into her vagina, but I'm not really really sure if I was inside her, but if ever, it only lasted for 8-10 seconds with a condom, and ended by handjob. My problem is that i'm worried about condom breaks, because I didn't check for it and I remembered one time when she's doing some handjobs to me without an erection, she mentioned that my condom might break or is about to break, but when I offered new ones she disregarded it. I've read in your forums that when a Condom broke, you'll obviously know it. In my case I didn't notice it, but i don't also have enough evidence because i didn't check for it. I know that you guys can give me some advice but the desicion for testing is my choice. What is the best thing should i do? should I forget it? or have a test and when? It's 8 weeks ago. Thanks and Godbless! Sorry for my English, I'm not fluent in english. But I hope You''l reply on this. Thanks!     

Offline raj12345

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2007, 05:27:29 AM »
Hi Dude- U have the same experience as i had. I been to CSW to get my life's first time sexual experience and now i am regrettng for what i have done. Hope fully--Very positively by the grace of GOD - we should come out negative--I am going for the test this wk again and my 25 day DUO negative. All the best----

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2007, 05:47:01 AM »
raj12345, DO NOT post in any other thread other than your own.  Take time and read the posting guidelines that are located in the "Welcome thread."

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2007, 05:55:01 AM »
Experts pls. reply. I really need some advice. Thank you in advance!!! raj12345 thanks for your advice men. I hope that God will give us a 2nd chance. I was really stupid that night, and the problem is that I don't really have enough knowledge on HIV/AIDS. and even my friends are not really aware of these things. Thanks to all of you and Godbless!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2007, 05:59:06 AM »
You would have know for sure if your condom had failed. You don't need to test.

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2007, 06:08:06 AM »
RapidRod thanks for your advice!!! It's really a great help! Anyone there who could also give some advice, I will reall aprreciate it. Rapidrod thanks again. I wish u guys all the best. And keep on helping many people. I'm still planning to get tested, but I'm not yet sure if I'll test by 13 weeks or sooner because I really want to put these behind. I'll try to research where to go testing. Thanks guys! Godbless

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2007, 08:39:54 AM »
I'm just going to say it once again, Kobe. You did not do anything which put you at risk for HIV transmission. During the brief episode of intercourse you had a condom on. Believe me, if it had broken you would have known it. None of the other activities you've reported were risks for HIV transmission.

Becoming sexually active is exciting and it can also stir up a lot of anxiety. I suspect the latter is what is happening in relation to your situation, especially because it was with a pro. Men often get the mistaken idea they are at greater risk with a pro. Sex workers are often the most careful about sexual matters because they are concerned with their own health too. In any case, you weren't at risk no matter how your mind scares you otherwise. There's no need for testing.

Just keep those latex condoms handy and use one everytime you have intercourse. You might also by yourself practice putting one on so that you become more comfortable with that process in the future.

This time you can let go of this concern.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2007, 10:15:45 AM »
Sir Andy! thank you for that advice!!!I really appreciated it. I admit that I'm still worried a little bit, because not everything is 100% sure, and I believed on what you've said that I will really know if a condom broke. But, I admit that somehow my mind is still playing on "what ifs" so to end all these, I'm planning for a test. I've read that it will be conclusive by 13 weeks. But I've read in one book in can take for some people up to 36 months. I'm really planning to test. Could be an 8 week be conclusive or wait for the 13th.? I agree with you advice, but mymind can't stop thinking of this stupid incident that I've done. And thank you so much!!! I hope that In my country we have people like you guys. Because people here really dosen't have that much knowledge like you guys. Godbles and Thank you!!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2007, 10:21:59 AM »
Ordinarily we follow the CDC recommendation of testing at 13 weeks.

Since I don't see that you had a risk to begin and testing isn't necessary, go ahead and test at 8 weeks and collect the inevitable negative result.

Any testing you do is strictly for your peace of mind and not because there was any risk, because there wasn't any such.

Andy Velez

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2007, 10:38:06 AM »
Sir ANDY!!! thanks for the quick reply. Maybe I'll go testing as soon as possible, but i still have to research where to go? Cause I think not all hospital here offers HIV testing. Thanks for the advice, but I just a few question. Have you known someone who tested by 13 weeks negative and became positive by 6th month or a year but didn't did anything risky. And my last question, Is there anyone in your research that got positive by having unprotected for a matter of seconds. Thanks and So sorry for many Questions. Thank you so much 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2007, 11:28:18 AM »
No to both of your questions.
Andy Velez

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2007, 03:30:57 AM »
Thanks for the reply Sir Andy, But i still have some questions, I hope you'll answer it. The story that I stated, is what exactly I remembered. You've told me, that I'm not at risk and no need for further testing. But I'm still really afraid, maybe it's because I'm regretting what I've done. Many what ifs, are still on my mind, Even though that it only lasted for 8-10 seconds, I'm really worried about some condom breaks, w/c you guys had already said that I will really know it if it failed, but I didn't check for it after, and maybe I'm also afraid because, I remembered the Sexual Worker said that the condom is about to break or might break. And I admit that I'm thinking that what if it's really true. I think that testing is the only way to leave these behind. I'm at 7 and 1/2 week. But coudn't wait until the 13th. w/c is conclusive. I want to get tested for my own peace of mind. I've read in your forums that the average seroconversion is 22 days, and the 6th week test is almost conclusive. M question is, Is there some people who became negative by the 6th week and became positive my the 13th. Sorry guts, I just really need some advice. Thanks!!!!!     

Online Matty the Damned

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2007, 03:41:32 AM »
We've already answered your questions.

Stop wasting our time.

MtD

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2007, 03:50:43 AM »
Sorry men! and thanks! i'm just really afraid, I guess.. I would like to apologize. Should I just leave these behind. ! last answer. thanks again. and Goodluck to you guys

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2007, 08:13:52 AM »
It would be highly unlikely for you to test positive after having tested negative at 7.5 weeks. Especially in your circumstance when I don't see that you had a risk to begin with.
Andy Velez

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: November 07, 2007, 01:46:33 AM »
SIR andy, thanks for the reply, and to other experts. I admit to you that I can't still move on. Many what if's are still on my mind. Sorry if I'm wasting your time guys. Just have a few questions, since I don't know where to go for testing right now. Do most Hospitals, have these HIV testing? Is it costly? and how many days/weeks to get the result. Is it really takes time? Thanks Guys and sorry!!!!   

Online Matty the Damned

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: November 07, 2007, 01:51:39 AM »
Kobe,

From what you've told us, you don't need to test. But I know you're simply not going to pay any attention to that. You will only hear what you want to hear.

As for your question, well access to and the cost of testing varies from country to country. You should contact your local health authority to determine how it works in your country.

MtD

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2007, 05:57:03 AM »
Thanks MtD for your response, I've already inquired and the test is costly for me, that's why I'm thinking to take it by the 13th week, and A little bit nervous for the results. and how will I accept if the results will be unfavorable for me. But thank you Guys, You are really helping. If only I had learned all of these before, I won't let it happened. But the problem is that i already risk my life when I knew all of these. Many people in our country are not really aware of these things. Thank you Guys and Gudluck!!!!! Godbless! Continue to help many people.

Online Matty the Damned

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2007, 06:24:10 AM »
Well you don't have to test at all, so you needn't worry about the cost.

If you're that obsessed with this stuff that you need to spend good money on an expensive, needless test then I can't see what more we can do for you.

MtD

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #19 on: November 08, 2007, 02:56:38 AM »
Guys, thanks for the reply, I'm really really sorry for disturbing you. But you are the easiest people to talk to. I'm really stressed right now. and can't focus on the things that I have to do. I know that all of you are experts and professionals when it comes to HIV. And you are sharing your knowledge based on our situations, but also, You are not all there when the incident happened. And I have really no proof if the condom didn't break or cuts are there. And it's possible to happen. I really appreciate the positive way you guys are replying to all of us. But I'm really stressed. CDC recommends 13th week but the problem is that some people turned to be positive after a 6th week negative, by 13th week. Right? thanks Guys!!!!!!! I'm so sorry!!!! I'm just stressed about this!!!!!Thanks!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #20 on: November 08, 2007, 05:02:22 AM »
A conclusive negative result from a recent exposure is 12/13 weeks. Most person will test positive by 6 weeks which will be confirmed by a Western Blot test or by IFA testing (Indirect immunofluorescence assay).

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2007, 05:14:05 AM »
Thanks Rapidrod, Maybe i'm testing tomorrow to relax my mind. I hope and pray that I'll be testing negative. So a 6 wk test can never be conclusive? I'm really really stressed, and I can;t wait for another 4 weeks to wait for the conclusive date. thanks!!!!

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #22 on: November 09, 2007, 07:46:45 AM »
 hi Guys, I have just a few questions.. Hope you'll answer even thogh it's out of the forum. Is it possible for someone who had a possible risk years ago, like 3 or 1 and half years, not having any symptoms? just being concern for some freinds dat i think that are not aware. Second question, testing is conclusive by 13th week, but I've read in Poz forums some tested many2 times and tested neg, then became Poz one day. Sorry for that but, just curious. and last,   I mentioned my story, the vaginal sex only lasted for aprox 8 seconds. as I've remembered, (not less than 6 secs, not more than 10) and didn;t noticed Condom breakage as all of u mentioned, but not really sure about this case SInce it was the first time, not aware and Didn;t check for it. (meaning not assuming that it was broke, But not assuming no cuts or holes in there), Just give me one last Advice!!!!! thank you so much!!!!   

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #23 on: November 09, 2007, 08:06:04 AM »
Guys, Thank you all for being so wonderful!!! I would like just to share this to everyone! Right now, and since I had awareness and learned many things about HIV/aids  I'm living in a stressful life, since I risk my life. and don't know if there will be a chance of getting back with my own life. Maybe If I'll be testing Negative, this would be my second life, But If Poz, I don't know how it would be. This is the hardest thing that ever came in my life. I was, doing good for several years, and never imagined be here in this kind of situation, that I'm facing. Before this incident happened to me, I became one sided person, thinking that I was loser for so many years after losing my x- girlfriend, who's right now living happily. I thought that oppurtunities, we're gone for me, not realizing how lucky I'am and never looked on other things that God made For me. That's why That night when the incident happened, I just forget other things in my life. That now I'm regretting. every morning I woke up, i keep on saying, If i only knew all of this! I miss my old life that I thought was not a happy life. I miss the way I was before with my family. I love them so much! so for other people who might read this, Think first before you do something, and always make God as the center of your lives, And for those who are given 2nd chance, never waste it again. Guys! (Mtd, Rapidrod, Sir Andy) Thank you, we we're all really blessed for having people like you! I hope that You'll always be in God's hands. Take care and thank you! I hope and I pray the next time I'll be updating you, It will be a happy message. Thanks!!! 

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #24 on: November 10, 2007, 08:47:08 AM »
Guys, just few questions about, symptoms, lack or or w/ symptoms, dosent matter right? but is a toungue of a positive is color white? and many spots? tnx and hope you'll reply on my 3rd to the last post. Thanks!!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #25 on: November 10, 2007, 10:03:35 AM »
Just because one has white on their tongue is not an indication of anything. White on the tongue is a normal occurrence. Not everyone with a white film on their tongue have thrush and thrush is not HIV specific. The only way to know if you have thrush is to be diagnosed by your Dr. or Dentist.

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #26 on: November 11, 2007, 06:45:07 AM »
Experts. I would like to just hear some advice, I'm living in hell right now, thinking of these mess I've done. Sorry to bother you all, but since that stupid night, my life really changed, and can't focus. Earlier, I went to that place where the CSW in my incident works, I talked to her, and asked about the incident that happened. I asked her if the condom didn't break, coz she told me that it might broke or about to break. She said that it didn't broke. I also asked if how long i was inside her, and she said it's just a couple of seconds and maybe just the half of my penis. I noticed her and her coworkers that they thinked I'm weird, so I explained to her why I'm asking it, and told her that she must be aware of HIV/Aids, and she said that, she's aware (but I guess she was really not) and  told me she's ok for so long, and she dosen't have anything. Doctors always checked their status, and I don't just believe her. I can't believe that I'm doing these. I really regret what happened, If only I was aware of thse, I wouldn't have done that. Sorry guys, just sharing, IS it crazy? what I did?  Any advice? I just can't leave these behind, and afraid to have HIV, I know nobody wants. Sorry For too much bothering you. I'm planning to test, by the 13th, if neg, by the 6th mont again. and maybe a year after. Thanks!!! I'm just also confused about testing, most people becomes positive, after several tests. like after 13th then by a year, and said they didn't do anything. I hope this will end. thanks   

Online Matty the Damned

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #27 on: November 11, 2007, 06:56:02 AM »
Brother if you keep rocking up to brothels and demanding to know if the condom broke, something's gonna end for you sooner or later.

Listen Kid, you don't have HIV, you don't have to test, you were never at risk.

MtD

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #28 on: November 11, 2007, 07:12:44 AM »
Thanks Mtd, just nervous, Everytime, i hear advices from you guys, it really helps me, to remove worries. Maybe, since I've knew about HIV, i'm afraid, coz smehow I've risk my life, As all of you had said, HIV isn't about guessing or statistics, only way to find out is testing. I've read also that some are saying, "I can't believe this virus gotten into me, I was always safe" "After 5 years i became POZ, like that. Couldn't just move on. It's really hard, I miss my family, can't them get along w/d dem these times, I couldn't open to this to anyone except you guys. Thanks!!!

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #29 on: November 11, 2007, 11:01:57 AM »
Guys, I just need some comfort!!! Hope I won't be banned here by excessive questioning! Wat I described is wat I really remembered, I know HIV is science! not by how many hours, you are in ther, Like u guys to be honest to this question, I know is kindy hard to answer, maybe a stupid one, Is there anyone, had sex for couple of seconds then got infected in the entire history of HIV?

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #30 on: November 13, 2007, 01:10:41 AM »
Guys, just need some comfort and advice? I'm dying of thinking!!! pls.

Online Matty the Damned

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #31 on: November 13, 2007, 01:13:13 AM »
This has gone on long enough. We have told you that you don't have HIV, you refuse to listen. We have encouraged you to seek outside help, you've ignored us.

Clearly it's time this thread was reviewed by a Moderator.

Consider yourself reported.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #32 on: November 13, 2007, 07:27:56 AM »
We've done what we can do for you here. You need to re-focus your energies elsewhere instead of indulging in all of this drama about a no-risk incident. What you want is a kind of hand holding which is a service we will not provide.
 
You're getting a 30 day time out to put a stop to carrying on here needlessly. Warning! Don't try to get around this time out by creating a new account. That will immediately get you permanently banned.

Now, get busy with other things in your life.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2007, 07:37:22 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #33 on: December 26, 2007, 01:53:47 AM »
Merry merry Xmas to all of u guys. Sir Andy, Matty, Ann and Rapid!!! I am very very sorry to all of u, few months ago, I couldn't really control my fear those days but I learned many many things in that experience, it really opened my eyes for those people living w/ HIV and like all of u had said that it is a disease and not a death sentence for our mistakes. I'll stick wd your advice not to test because i'm not at risk. Maybe in the future for important purposes I'll do it. and expect a negative results. Fear is worse than HIV! but to all worried people my advice is just talk to GOD Almighty! he will remove all those fears!!! Thank u guys and I'm praying everyday that one day God will guide scientists to formulate a Cure for this disease but I'm really really thankful to you guys, that our roads crossed even we are miles away! I hope the best for all of you. Happy Holidays!!

Offline Kobe

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Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #34 on: December 26, 2007, 02:12:52 AM »
one more guys. I would like to leave these advice to all of the people who might read my story! Sex is something normal to all the people. All of us becomes curious wd it. But this what all of us must remember that Sex is not just for own experience, fun, feeling etc but Make sure do it When the time is Right! (in Gods time), Do it at the Right place! wd the right circumstances (where both of u is tested for STDs) and ofcourse wd the Right Person!!! (the one u love) Thanks

Offline Kobe

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help w/ my risk
« Reply #35 on: May 21, 2012, 07:45:34 AM »

Hi guys, first of all i want to thank everyone here for doing a great job of helping many people. I work in a medical field. And one of my task is to clean/wash instruments that is already used by patients. Last two weeks ago, I washed the vaginal speculums in our clinic. Vaginal speculum is an instrument used by OB GYNE Doctors in performing a papsmear. So this is contaminated with blood and bodily fluids. I was wearing double latex gloves (2 gloves in my right hand and two gloves in my left hand) while washing the vaginal speculums. After washing/cleaning the instruments I remove my gloves, then I noticed a very small cut in my left finger. Its very small cut, I think It is Ĺ cm or maybe less than !/2 cm. I didnít felt any pain or puncture while washing the instruments. But i didnít check the sink if there are needle, syringes, or blades. Iíve been worrying so much since the incident happened. Iím considering that I might didnít noticed that I got a cut or accidentally puncture or prick my left finger by a sharp object while washing, thatís why Iím a little bit worried. I consider my risk no risk or low risk, but i hope that you may help me with assessing my risk, if I have really have something to worry about. Thanks guys. I wish u all the best and Godbless.

Online Matty the Damned

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Re: help w/ my risk
« Reply #36 on: May 21, 2012, 07:55:36 AM »
Hi guys, first of all i want to thank everyone here for doing a great job of helping many people. I work in a medical field. And one of my task is to clean/wash instruments that is already used by patients. Last two weeks ago, I washed the vaginal speculums in our clinic. Vaginal speculum is an instrument used by OB GYNE Doctors in performing a papsmear. So this is contaminated with blood and bodily fluids. I was wearing double latex gloves (2 gloves in my right hand and two gloves in my left hand) while washing the vaginal speculums. After washing/cleaning the instruments I remove my gloves, then I noticed a very small cut in my left finger. Its very small cut, I think It is Ĺ cm or maybe less than !/2 cm. I didnít felt any pain or puncture while washing the instruments. But i didnít check the sink if there are needle, syringes, or blades. Iíve been worrying so much since the incident happened. Iím considering that I might didnít noticed that I got a cut or accidentally puncture or prick my left finger by a sharp object while washing, thatís why Iím a little bit worried. I consider my risk no risk or low risk, but i hope that you may help me with assessing my risk, if I have really have something to worry about. Thanks guys. I wish u all the best and Godbless.

This has been explained to you on previous occasions Kobe. But I'll tell you once more:

HIV is a fragile virus, it is transmitted in very particular ways. Those ways are:

Unprotected vaginal and anal sex;
Sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes;
In some cases from HIV positive mother to her unborn or nursing infant.

You cannot contract HIV from cleaning vaginal specula. You didn't puncture the gloves. The cut makes no difference.

Really. You do not need to be tested for this. You should ask your employer to send you for universal infection control training.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread. It contains links to our lessons on HIV transmission as well as our posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline Kobe

  • Member
  • Posts: 22
Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #37 on: May 21, 2012, 08:01:34 AM »
thank you so much mtd. i think since i got educated with this matter. i became very cautious. And lately I've been experiencing anxiety. And thank you for your advice. Godbless and take care!

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,399
Re: Advice!!!!!
« Reply #38 on: May 21, 2012, 08:10:01 AM »
I've removed your new thread which you began before returning to your original thread. This is the only thread you should be writing in should you have occasion to write again.

And of course I agree with Matty's assessment of your non-risk incident. 
Andy Velez

 


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