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Author Topic: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women  (Read 11242 times)

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Offline patghatt

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Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« on: November 02, 2007, 11:04:03 AM »
Hi, ;m so happy that I have found this wonderful site!. My siituation is as follows  I really need your help, and value your advice greatly! I am a 33 year old straight male,married with 2 kids. One night I had gone out to a local bar started drinking alot and hooked up with a women and man at the end of the night. The women had talked to some mexican guy for sex and they ended up having sex  in his trailer for I'm presuming was condom protected, so she says. After sex with the Mexican guy that I don't know she asked me If I would like some as well. At that point we were sitting in her car with her guy friend (who, perhaps might be her husband) and she pushed my head down towards her vagina, where I stupidly licked it for about 5-7 seconds, I did taste some fluid, but cannot 100% verify. No blood was present. Also, following that ,we (the women and I) were kissing along with alot of aggresive fingering and fisting. We are now back at her place and her friend was smoking speed I believe and he wanted me to have sex with the women so he could watch. I said, "NO" as I did not feel comfortable. No penis-vagina sex had occured, but like I said I had licked or performed oral on her. I was so scared that the next day I contaced her and asked if she had ever had any diseases in the past, and she says not at all. She is 39 years old with 4 kids, but seems to very promiscous. Also, this happennd at the end of August, but now I have a white coated tongue that I has really gotten my scared!. I went to my primary Dr. and said, it did not liook like anything serious (no candida) but I asked if it could be HIV and said the only way was to get tested. I have not taken the test yet, I feel as if for some reason I am the unfortunate statistic that tests positive. Why else would I get a white coat on my tongue. Finally, exposure risk performing cuninlugs on a promiscous women after she has had sex with another person.
I reallly appreciate any advice, especially from Ann, Andy and Matty I believe, you guys are doing a great service. I am struggling day-to-day, I can't for some reason get past this. The trush on my tiongue is a constant reminder. Thank You!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2007, 02:59:41 PM »
Pat, LOTS of things could give you a white tongue. The tongue is a very sensitive organ.

Nothing you are reporting put you at risk for HIV transmission. Going down on a woman is in the theoretical zone as far as HIV transmission is concerned. In the real world of HIV it just doesn't happen that way.

I don't see any need for testing. If your tongue continues to be a problem that's something to revisit with your doctor.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period. End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline patghatt

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ANother Huge Mistake! I deserve HIV after this!
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2007, 09:23:58 AM »
Hi,
I have a serious sex addiction! I went last night to a promiscous girl, or lets say prostitute for sex. I was so nervous. I had condom protected vaginal sex for about 1 min, I came so fast! prior to that she had inserted my penis in her mouth with condom on. And lastly, I licked her vaging for like 10 - 15 seconds. I don't know what the hell I am doing! I married with 3 children. I already am worried about a risky exposure I had 3 months. I performed cuninilugs on a promiscous girl as well, no penis-vagina sex occured, but now I have thrush, fatigue, and my doctor wants me to have an HIV test to ease my concerns. I have hit rock bottom! I think I'm possesed or something. To all people reading this, please, please think clearly about the decisions you make regarding extra-marital sex. When I look at my wife and children, I start to break down inside. All I have been doing is searching the net for solutions checking symptom after symptom. I honestly believe I have contracted HIV. Please respond!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2007, 09:42:42 AM »
First of all, I have merged your threads. Keep all of your comments or whatever in this same thread. That's a rule of this site.

Secondly, I have to say that your title on your latest thread of "I deserve HIV" is very offensive. No one DESERVES HIV. No one. HIV is a virus and not a punsihment for anyone including straying husbands. While I appreciate your state of upset right now that doesn't excuse your throwing around that kind of term.

As far as risk for transmission is concerned, yours was zilch for having gone down on the woman in question. Even IF she is HIV+, the fluids which could contain HIV are in the cervical area and not where you would have been putting your mouth. Secondly and no less importantly, your saliva contains elements which are effective natural inhibitors against HIV.

You used a condom for intercourse which is exactly what you need to do. They provide very effective protection against HIV transmission. Nothing you are reporting such a thrush or fatigue is in any way HIV-specific. That's not a surprise since nothing you did put you at risk for the HIV virus.

The real issue here is your guilt and shame about having strayed. I don't know enough about you, nor am I asking to know, if you are sexually compulsive. You have to decide if your behavior is out of control and making your life unmanageable. If it is there are programs to address that. You might consider seeing a therapist or other professional to discuss this.

What I can tell is this is not an HIV situation and no testing is necessary.
Andy Velez

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2007, 09:53:58 AM »
Dear Andy,
You are right! I deeply apologize for making that statment (I deserve HIV). No one ever deserves HIV! My mind is just so screwed up right now. I am sorry to everyone that I have offended. I really don't know what to do. Why am I behaving this way? I think it is time for me to get tested and move on with my life. I have to accept the results and learn from the past. However, I just can't because of my symptoms. Everytiime I do a search on thrush or white coated tongue, it points to HIV. I'm obsessed with this stupid virus. Once again, I'm sorry for the comment, and NO ONE ever in life deseves HIV! Please forgive me!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2007, 10:00:08 AM »
Read this over a few times if you need to: Thrush is NOT an HIV specific symptom. It is in fact very common in the general population. Yes, it can happen to someone who is HIV+ and it's just as likely to occur when someone is HIV negative. There's no specific tie-in with HIV. Get it?

This is your head going nutz because you strayed again. You're a dawg like many of us. If you need help with that issue then see a professional. We can't do that kind of work with you here.

I can tell you there's nothing you are reporting which suggests that HIV testing is needed. If you want to do it for your peace of mind, all you will do is collect the inevitable negative result. You decide about that.

 

Andy Velez

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2007, 10:39:38 AM »
Andy,
Thank you for being so supportive, and I will definatley keep your valuable advice to heart. You guys are the experts only thing left for me to do is test and then go from there. Keep up the good! You guys are really doing a wonderful job! I will post my results. Gracias.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2007, 11:46:08 AM »
OK. That's your plan. Get tested and collect the inevitable negative result.

The only test you will get a positive on is one for guilt and shame. Neither of which is worth lugging around.
Andy Velez

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2007, 12:29:39 PM »
Hello,
I still have not tested fearing a positive result. I have another question though, I was tested last year about 6 months after an cunninilugs exposure back in November 2005 which came out negative. However, I have 2 more exposures since then, another cunninligus on a promiscous women and then condom protected vaginal sex with very brief cunninlugs on promiscous young girl. I don't understand why now I have slight fever, with thrush and fatigue, pain and heat in the body my nose and throat are feeling like heat is there. I am so afraid as I have a famiily and do not know what to do. I am dying day-to-day. Not living, I build the courage to get tested then stop and think about what if I turn up positive. Please help!

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2007, 12:50:39 PM »
So what are wanting us to do here?  Somehow tell you why you are having physical ailments?  We cannot and will not do that.  We do not diagnose over the internet, we evaluate risk behaviors.  From what I have read, you have not practiced behavior that would put you at risk for HIV thus far.  You have, however, practiced behavior that has consumed you with guilt and shame.  You are, by your own description, facing a problem with sex addiction.  And that is something we cannot help you with here.  That's the real problem that you need to man up and face...if not for yourself, for this family you love and wish to protect.

Point blank:  you are "dying day-to-day" on the inside.  And you know I'm right.

That's something that's going to consume you and essentially infect your family sooner or later...whether HIV ever really does or not.

There are resources to help address this situation out there.  Log off here and start looking for those.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2007, 01:01:58 PM »
Thunter34,
Absolutely right! The guilt is killing me along with symptoms I am experiencing. I know you cannot diagnose over the internet, so maybe the only way for me is to go ahead and get tested. I am so stupid! I can't believe that I have put myself in this type of predicament. So, do you think I honestly am at a risk for HIV? The CDC and other websites have scared the living daylights out of me. I don't think anyone wants\deserves HIV! Period. Please GOD help me!

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2007, 01:08:01 PM »
No, I do not think you have thus far put yourself at risk for HIV.  I think you are conveniently ignoring the bulk of what I just wrote to you.  HIV is not your primary concern.  Reread my last post and let it sink in.  Until you address your real concern, you are going to find you have "put yourself in this predicament" over and over again.

PS:  I am not going to go round and around with you post after post about this.  Your HIV risk has been assessed.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2007, 01:14:45 PM »
I accept your valuable advice and will seek to find some help for my convictions. Thank You very much I am going through a very rough period and appreciate you taking the time to assess my situation. I will keep you posted. Best of luck, friend.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2007, 04:48:57 PM »
I mean this sincerely and in no way am attempting to offend or discredit anyone on this site. The information that is being shared on this site by the moderators seems to be very conflicting in terms of risk, transmission and actual facts (as far as HIV is concerned) whem compared to other internet sites. I'm not saying the moderators are wrong, no way! but, as a layman person, how do I know that this site is providing accurate information. Or perhaps, am I wrong for even questioning that. And lastly, does this type of discussion belong else where. Thank You.

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2007, 04:52:01 PM »
i will let the moderators give you an official response, but speaking as an HIV infected person from the trenches...

i trust this site beyond any other.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2007, 01:35:26 PM »
Thanks guys for the clarification! This site is legit, real people with real issues. Not some government funded agency with a hidden agenda.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2007, 07:09:22 PM »
Man, I swear I must be HIV positive! I have thrush that is not getting better. And, everytime I look on the internet regarding thrush, it points to HIV! I'm done! My life is over. What a waste.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2007, 07:31:58 PM »
If you haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, you don't have thrush. You didn't have a risk by having oral sex with a woman. So get over your drama.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #19 on: November 21, 2007, 07:37:54 PM »
Perhaps, if it's not HIV then maybe some other STD. I'm sure it's HIV though. I'm probably the statistic that is so rare that it goes unmentioned but happens. 2 women oral (cunninlugus) and 1 women condom protected vaginal sex for about 1 minute, but you never know. I'm a mess! can't seem to stay off the internet.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #20 on: November 21, 2007, 07:54:49 PM »
Seek the help of a mental health professional for your unwarranted worries.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #21 on: November 21, 2007, 08:33:14 PM »
As you wish, I will consult with a mental health professional. Thank you for your concern.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #22 on: December 01, 2007, 04:30:52 PM »
Has anyone had thrush but tested negative for HIV?

Online RapidRod

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #23 on: December 01, 2007, 10:10:46 PM »
Thrush is not specific to HIV. Many kids get thrush. Anyone can get thrush at anytime.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #24 on: December 02, 2007, 01:18:50 PM »
Thanks Rod! I really needed to know that. I am so confused, scared and misinformed. I don't know whether to test for HIV or not. I'm afraid of what the results might be, even though life goes on and someday I have to face the truth.

Offline Ann

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #25 on: December 02, 2007, 02:25:44 PM »
pat,

If getting that hiv negative result in your hand is the only way you're going to be able to put this behind you, then go test. Nothing you did that night put you at risk - even though it may have seemed to you to be a really wild and crazy thing to do. You were not at risk.

It's time for you to put this behind you. Rodney has already shown you the posting guideline that says we won't permit excessive postings over a no-risk incident and now I'm warning you formally. Keep it up and you'll be given a time out.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection in anything you bring to us. See your doctor about your physical concerns. There's nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #26 on: December 03, 2007, 12:28:33 PM »
Ann,
Thank you for the encourging support. I'm going to get tested and that's it. I will keep you guys posted on the results. God bless you.

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #27 on: December 14, 2007, 04:48:19 PM »
Ann,
It's me again. I still cannot put this behind me. I still feel as if I have acquired HIV through my stupidity.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #28 on: December 14, 2007, 04:59:22 PM »
Seek out help from you local mental health department. We can't help.

Offline Ann

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #29 on: December 14, 2007, 05:00:34 PM »
Pat,

I suggest you seek out a counselor or therapist who can teach you ways of managing your anxiety. We cannot help you with that there.

You did not have a risk.

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline patghatt

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2007, 07:33:16 PM »
I'm trying, but I'm so confused with all the conflicting information on the internet. One site says one thing another says another. How do you know who to believe? Ann, I know I've been warned, but I'm going through a very hard time right now. So, please I'm sorry.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2007, 07:37:38 PM »
Well that's what happens when you go googling about HIV when you never had a risk in the first place. You end up confused and stressed out.

Whether you want to believe it or not, you were not at risk and you don't have HIV. You can either accept that and move on with your life or flounder about in ignorance. It's really up to you. But don't think that you'll be allowed to do it on our time.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Good Chance I Have HIV via oral sex on women
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2007, 08:15:41 PM »
Pat,

Just go test, collect your negative result and get it over with already.

I'm giving you that time out I warned you about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned, no questions asked.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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