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Author Topic: Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?  (Read 1062 times)

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Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,103
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?
« on: November 01, 2007, 07:08:55 PM »
My therapist explained to me that, in difficult situations I let the small vulnarable  kid in me take over and let people walk all over me.
From the other side he said I show the strength and the power of a boxer. Like two different sides in me.
He told me : It is all in the mind. Just let the small kid grow up and train the boxer.
I thought it would be interesting for many of us to sort of visualise that image.

But, he also said that I always seem to choose an adversary from 2 categories higher then mine. Seems like I always need a challenge.
Am I a masochist or just a stubborn, driven fighter????

Anyone recognises that mechanism?

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline allopathicholistic

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  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2007, 08:37:57 PM »
do themes of justice resonate with you? what about the story of david versus goliath? i don't know about pyscho stuff i'm just throwing things into the mix! interesting post

Offline Biracial Bodybuilder NYC

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2007, 08:42:05 PM »
 ;) Hi Hermie,
I can definitely relate to what you are saying.  Coming from an abusive father and a mother who lost her path getting involved with drugs later on, I've never been accepted by my family.  Add to that, my sexual orientation, HIV, and the fact that I have a hard time accepting I am gay, I always feel the sense of wanting to be loved and fitting in. 

I tend to allow people to walk over me simply because I want people to love, like, and accept me.  At this point in my life, I recognize this, but I still have a long way to go with working on this.  I am making very slow progress but I feel it's better than nothing at all. 

I am fortunate to have a partner (as well as, his family) who is loving, supportive, and patient, so I try to focus on being thankful for this, as well as a supportive sister. 

What's strange is that I tend to be a fairly shy guy but most people get the opposite impression because of my appearance, since I competitively bodybuild.  A lot of people make negative comments about it and say I'm taking steroids or trying to show off.  I am definitely the last guy to ever even think I am better than anyone, so those comments make me feel bad but I usually keep it to myself. 

I think the fact that you recognize your behavior means you're making great progress, so I would say you're a driven fighter committed to making success in your life's journey.  I would hope you look at a challenge meaning that you're strengthening yourself mentally. 

Take care and be well,
Marco-Antonio
"Love is feeling for another, what others do not take the time to notice, or see, in someone."

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,103
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2007, 06:58:53 PM »
Thank you guys.

I talked to my therapist tonight and realise I have a long way to go.
Marco, yes , i can hear you.

thanks for the inspiration.

Love

hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Thom Martin

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2007, 07:09:15 PM »
Sweet Hermie,

What ever it is that makes you tick, it's the reason that Ric and I love you so much.

We know that you will come to grips with this and that you will always come out on top.

Love and hugs, T&R

 


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