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Author Topic: Stressed about HIV  (Read 13881 times)

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Offline hmmmm

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Stressed about HIV
« on: November 01, 2007, 07:15:31 AM »
I made a huge mistake in my judgement.

I was involved with a man for a very short time (approximately 05 days) but thankfully never had vaginal sex with him.

I have known this guy quite well for some time on the surface but dont know him really well. I know he is married and has kids and one of the kids is just a year old baby. HOwever, I have no clue about his HIV /STD status.

On one particular day I gave him 02 blow jobs.(One in the afternoon and the other in the evening) Each one did not last more than 05 mins and he did not ejaculate in my mouth either. HOwever, he was very wet. (Pre Cum) I did not have any noticable soars/ulcers or cuts in my mouth either.

Then a few days later I met him again (for a second time) and gave him a blow job. This too did not last more than 05 mins. However, then I found out that he is also sleeping with another women. On this particualr day (on the second day) he wanted me to meet him in the basement of where we work. I did and He fingered me briefly and I went down on him for a short time.

Later on during the day I heard from someone else that he came into the basement with this other women. I am worried that he might have fingered her just before he touched me. (Maybe there was about a 05 min gap) I know that it seams really far fetched but can I get HIV if she is HIV+, her vaginal fluid was on his finger and then it went inside me. Is it true that HIV can survive for less than a minute outside the body. If this is so I have nothing to worry.

Have there ever been any cases of people getting HIV from the way I have mentioned above. I am very sure that there would have been atleast a 05 min break between the time she left and I came to meet him.

Please help me I am very worried. Immidiately after this incident I told him I could not see him anymore.

I am worried about fingering incident as well as the risk from the blow jobs.

Please givem e your expert opinion.

THank you for your help and wonderful work on the forum.




Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2007, 08:09:20 AM »
Fingering is not a risk for HIV transmission, even if this fellow was fingering other women before having been with you. It just doesn't happen that way.

As far as giving oral is concerned, there is some anecdotal evidence that it might be a risk, but it has not proved to be reliable when subjected to scientific scrutiny.

There are elements in your saliva which neutralize HIV IF it's present. And no less important there have been longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight, who had only protected intercourse and lots of unprotected mutual oral sex. The results have been that not one sero-negative partner has become infected.

So giving unprotected oral is in the zone of making a personal decision about what you're comfortable doing.   

If you proceed to having intercourse with this busy guy make sure that he is wearing a condom everytime. No exceptions. And that's true of anyone else you may have intercourse with. A condom is a must.

This time out I don't see any cause for concern about HIV.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2007, 11:08:05 PM »
Thank you very much for that very quick response. So I guess for this time I dont need to get tested right ???

But though fingering poses no risks as you have mentioned there is a theretical risk of contracting HIV from oral sex. So it's best to be safe right.. So does fingering fall under the safe sex catagory ?

And I am going to make sure that there is no next time with this fellow. He is just too much of bad news. :)

WIth regard to the statement that I heard that HIV cant survive for more than a min outside the body is that true or is it just something going around.

I realise what a stressful affair worrying about HIV is and I just cant go through it. I have also realised that I am really paranoid about HIV. I seem to fabricate situations like I did. I am even nervous to go to a dentist.

I had a similar experience once before and got tested after 02 weeks, 06 weeks, 03 months, 06 months and 01 year. And sometimes I stll worry about it though all the results were negative. Is that normal ???? or do I have some psychiatric condition???

By the way who are Sero discordant couples ? Does that mean that one person is HIV positive and the other is not ??

thanks once again for your help.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2007, 11:16:43 PM »
Yes, fingering would fall under the category of non-risk sexual activities.

Sero-discordant couples are ones in which one partner is HIV negative and the other is HIV positive.

No testing is necessary in relation to this incident.

As to whether you need to address your concerns about HIV with some professional help,you have to decide just how unmanageable your worrying is in your life. Often an undue concern of this sort is really some other issue being expressed in this manner. Life is too short under the best of circumstances to be spent in worry and anxiety. Investing in some time with a professional might be a good way to get rid of some excess emotional baggage and allow you to better enjoy your life and your sexuality.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2007, 11:56:36 PM »

Please let me know how I can read the views which have been posted to my thread..

thanks

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2007, 12:21:26 AM »
Hmmmm,

I'm sorry I don't understand what you're asking. You should be able to read both of the replies that Andy has made in this thread. The only time you wouldn't be able to read posts made in your thread is if you placed a particular member on "ignore". That would not apply here as it is not possible to put a Moderator on ignore.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2007, 09:51:06 AM »
Hm,

You can't read "views". You'll see two columns of numbers on the main Am I forum page, one says "replies" and one says "views". The replies are what you see posted in your thread, but "views" refers to how many times your thread has been read. It doesn't mean there are opinions on your thread posted elsewhere.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2007, 02:12:54 AM »
Hey,

THanks for that. I thought that the views can be read too.. I read all ANdy's replies. Thanks. :)

Just wanted to put down another doubt that popped up in my head.

That whole week (I know it's a short time and I am so happy that it was that short) that I was with this guy, seems sort of like a blur...

DUring the time we made out I just cant seem to recollect certain things. One of that is whether he touched me (fingered me) after touching him self. I know for sure that he did not cum, but jusr with pre cum on his hand.

If so, does that pose a risk for transmission of HIV.

I also want to know if I can absolutely forget about HIV if I have tested negative after 06 months.

Please do let me know.

THanks so much for your help and support. THese questions are not those that can be asked from anyone and your advice and guidance is very much appreciated.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2007, 09:35:40 AM »
Touching, masturbation, (whether mutual or other), fingering and such are not risks for HIV transmission. You are worrying needlessly.

The sexual activity you need to pay attention to is intercourse. And as long as you consistently use latex condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse you are well "covered" as far as that is concerned.

 
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2007, 12:40:49 AM »

Hi,

I dont know how I keep getting myself into these sitations.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I have a lot of self control when it comes to actually having vaginal intercourse, I tend to keep letting my self slip up when it comes to oral and fingering...

And unlike for vaginal or anal sex, you never have a condom around when it comes to oral sex... So even if I have oral sex regualraly, unprotected, does that still leave me in the safe sex zone.....

Specially if the guy doesn not ejaculate in my mouth and if I am only exposed to his pre cum...

Your expert advice would be extrmely helpful since I keep getting paranoid and worried every time I have oral sex with this guy... again to note I never let him cum in my mouth...

So if I just stick to this same exposure and dont move on, can I never worry about having to get tested... (assuming my only exposure would be his pre cum in my mouth)

Please advice

Thanks

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2007, 01:15:49 AM »
Pre-cum in your mouth == no risk.

Saliva contains a number of substances which actually inhibit the virus.

MtD

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2007, 04:30:22 AM »
Hi Matty,

Does the risk increase if there is seminal fluid in the mouth after oral sex.

Thanks for your response.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2007, 04:52:05 AM »
Of all the studies that have been done, there is evidence that there still is no risk.

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2007, 12:01:46 AM »
okay, now I have come to the terrible part... My husband who has been abroad for 1.5 years is coming next week...

The only risk I have exposed myself to is with this one guy and with him too, I have only had oral sex and he has never cum inside me... (So my exposure is only to his pre cum) We had about 04 exposures where I gave him oral sex only.

I have put a stop to this terrible things that I have been doing and I feel very bad about it... But more than anything I am worried that I might infect my husband.

Before he left we never used a condom. So I am worried that he might wonder why I am insisting on using one if I do so after he comes back..

Should I use a condom when I have sex with him... Or is there no need for me to worry and can I just forget about this whole thing and move on. I was talking about having a baby before he left. Is it safe for us to try to have ab baby after he comes back. (if my only exposure was oral sex with no ejaculation in my mouth)

Please reassuere me that giving oral sex does not pose a risk for HIV transmission and that I can get back to my normal life with my husband once he gets back...

Also, that I dont need to get tested over these oral sex incidents, where the guy never came in my mouth.

Please let me know your expert opinion so that I can put my mind at ease..

I feel okay at one time and then fear grips me all over again and I feel that there could be chance that I am infected.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2007, 08:46:25 AM »
As long as you didn't have unprotected intercourse with this other guy then I don't see any reason why you can't resume unprotected intercourse with your husband.

If you're going to continue to worry about this issue then I would say just for your own peace of mind get tested and collect the inevitable negative result. Nothing you have reported leads me to expect other than a negative test result.

As for the guilt and shame that's a separate issue. It's no love tribute to your husband to put that burden on your relationship. Dump it overboard and get on with your life.

 
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #15 on: November 10, 2007, 01:59:36 AM »
Hi Andy,

Thanks so much for your response.

What I have told you is exactly what happened.. It was just oral with no ejaculation.. So I guess it's safe to get back to unprotected intercourse with my husband and move on with life and try and have a baby right ????

I guess when you say intercourse it means only anal and vaginal sex right ??? Oral sex does not fall into the intercourse catagory is it ???

Yeah, I guess I have to deal with the guilt and I am goingto start working on moving on as of now..

I just needed your reassurance that it was safe for him ( my husband) and for the baby.. after I have your okay, I AM MOVING ON!!!!!

WIll wait for your response....



Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #16 on: November 10, 2007, 09:45:56 AM »
Yes, I was referring to vaginal and anal intercourse as the risky behaviors.

I don't see any reason you cannot resume sexual relations with your husband.

Good luck with your plan to have a baby.

Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2007, 09:48:50 PM »
THanks so very much Andy for your reassurance...

Just a quick question... Of the studies that have been done on Oral transmission.. were a majority HIV positive Men or WOmen. just checking since I read that it is anyway more difficult for a women to pass on the virus to a man. So if the research took into account more women it might not be too accurate..

Anyway, I was telling one of my really good friends about the great advice and help I got on this forum and she wanted me to check something out on her behalf.

My friend, who is a airline stewerdess had some issues with her husband becuase she found out about some of his extra marital affaris. (he also is a airline stewaert) anyway they got seperated for some time and my friend in her distress made some bad judgements and slept with this other guy who she works with about 03 times. SInce they have been friends for a long time, they did not use any protection and had unprotected vaginal and oral sex.

This happened during the last 02 weeks or so.

Anyway, now my friend and her husband have got back on talking terms and want to give their marriage another go. She has asked her husband about these other women and he has confessed that he slept with a few (about 04 women) I personally think she should not get back to him, but I guess that is her call.

ANyway, she is worried about the whole HIV scene and it's 02 way. She is worried about his risky exposures and she is also worried about hers. They have not got around to having sex with each other, but she wanted to know if she should check before and whether she should get him also to check before they restart a physical relationship with each other.

Please give me your advice so that I can show her what you have to say.

Thanks so much.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #18 on: November 12, 2007, 04:50:30 AM »
Both go together and get tested not only for HIV but for STDs. Until then use condoms.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #19 on: November 12, 2007, 08:53:53 AM »
As far as your concern in relation to the studies, there was lots of oral sex both ways between men and women including a balance of HIV+ in both genders.

With regard to your friend, I agree with Rod. Both of them need to get tested. They should be using condoms until they both hopefully test negative at 13 weeks after their most recent unprotected incidents. 13 weeks is the point at which they get an all clear if they test negative. 
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #20 on: November 12, 2007, 10:53:09 PM »
Thanks for your response,,,,

Just another question that popped into my mind....

As far as I can remember I didnt have any noticable ulcers in my mouth during the last few weeks when I had oral sex with this guy..

But my gums bleed nearly always when I brush my teeth.. I had not brushed my teeth for atleast 03 hours before each of the incidents (all 04 of them)

DOes the chnace of HIV transmission still = no risk even taking into account the above. Could like reallt small cuts which might not have been noticed by me attribute to help transmit the virus ????

I know my mind is giving me a lot of what if's, but please help me on this.

Thanks so much for your answers and thank you very much for your help and support given so far.

I just want to make 100% sure since I dont want to live with the guilt of infecting someone else and speacially because I want to have a baby...



Offline RapidRod

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #21 on: November 12, 2007, 10:56:46 PM »
Still  no risk.

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #22 on: November 13, 2007, 12:28:30 AM »
Thanks...

I just dont understand why websites, even the ones we consider to be reiable like the CDC try their best to scare people for no reason at all....

I mean all they have to say is that Oral sex without ejaculation is a no risk situation and that would ease away the anxienty for a lot of people.

Why is it that they keep saying that there are people that that have become HIV positive through oralsex if there is no way HIV can be caused by Oral sex..

Please let me know

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #23 on: November 13, 2007, 12:42:42 AM »
Hmmm,

We can't say why other websites give out misinformation. We can speculate as to why the CDC is so conservative. It's got to do with the anti-sex agenda of the current US administration.

But rather than focusing on what we can't say, let's focus on what we can say. You weren't at risk, you don't have to be concerned about HIV.

Regards,

MtD

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #24 on: November 29, 2007, 12:51:49 AM »
Hi,

I have oral herpes which I cotracted as a child. It is not severe and I ususally get an attack about once in 02 years. My last attack was in December 06.

What I need to know is if my chance of getting the HIV virus increases if I have the HSV Virus inside me. (I didnt have Herepse at any time during my exposures to Oral Sex)

I had about 05 exposures where I had oral sex with this guy. He never ejaculated in my mouth and the only exposure I had was to his pre cum.

As I mentioned before, all this happended while my husband was away and he came back about 02 weeks ago. I know I checked on the site and got your expert advice and I was advised that I can resume unprotected intercourse with my husband and that we can try to have a baby.

We did have sex about 06 times after my husband came back. And now all of a sudden I got this funny what if fear into my head about my herpes infection.

Please give me your expert comments. Does Oral Sex with no ejaculation even with my herpes story still acount for Zero Risk. I am so worried that I might have infected my husband.

Of all the reports that have been recieved about the people who have cotracted HIV from Oral Sex, was it always after people ejaculating in their mouth or was it with Pre CUm. (I know that these were not proper reports but just wanted to check this too.)

Is oral sex without a condom a very comon practice and as experts do you guys never recommend anyone to use protection when they have oral sex ????

Please let me know if I can move on and that Oral sex is a no risk activity specially if the guy didnt cum in my mouth. Please please please experts. Hearing from you guys and your reassurance always helps. I know I did something wrong, but I dont want to infect my husband in any way. we might get a chance to migrate to the USA and I know that this requires HIV testing. I dont want to ruin his chances of making his dreams come true because of my irresponsibility.

Thanks in advance.
 

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #25 on: November 29, 2007, 12:54:42 AM »
No, being infected HSV will not increase your chances of contracting HIV.

MtD

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2008, 03:45:54 AM »
Hi Andy / Matty / Anne,

It's me again after some time.

I was speaking to a doctor about my bleading gums and he mentioned that what I have is an infection in my gums and that when your gums are infected they are easily wounded.

Under these circumstances, does it increase my chance of contracting HIV. Just to recap, I had 05 unprotected oral sex incidents, all with ONLY pre cum. (he never ejaculated in my mouth.)

I also, wanted to check something else with you guys. If soemone else blood gets into your mouth, does that give you chance of cotracting HIV if the other person is HIV+.

I am feeling scared since I have been having unportected vaginal sex with my husband. The only exposure I have had with anyone else is the 05 oral sex incidents mentioned above. I dont want to put my husband at any risk.

Please let me know your thoughts. Even with my infected gums, is oral sex without ejaculation still something I dont have to worry about. (My gums bleed only when I brush my teeth and dont give me any other problems)

Thanks so much for your help.


Offline Ann

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #27 on: January 09, 2008, 08:49:55 AM »
hmm,

I suggest you read and re-read your thread until understand what we've already told you. You are worrying unnecessarily. If you can't stop worrying, go test and collect your negative result. There's nothing more we can add to what's already been said.

If you're read our Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2008, 10:14:33 PM »
Sorry about the excessive postings. Just wanted to check because of what the doc said about my gums. This was something new which came up and I just wanted to check. No problem and sorry if you felt I was breaking the rules

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2008, 11:42:29 PM »
I agree with Ann. It seems to me you're going to have these niggling fears if you don't get tested. So why not just get tested, collect the inevitable negative result and put the HIV issue to rest for you.

Based on having seen this kind of situation many times before, it seems to me what's really involved here are your feelings about having had sex outside of your marriage while your husband was away. If I am right you need to come to terms with that so that your guilt doesn't poison your relationship. You strayed. You're a dawg like many of us here. You can't undo that. The best thing you can do for all concerned is to see it, accept it, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. And getting testing to collect your negative result is one way of starting to do that.

Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #30 on: February 21, 2008, 06:09:34 AM »
Hi It's me back on the forum.

Thanks for all the help with my previous fears. I nver got tested. But I think I am completely over that incident. (Probably since I have a bigger one to worry about now)

I was out with a guy friend of mine on the 26/01 and ended up at his place. We were fooling around with kissing and him going down on me etc and then without me realising things just went a bit too far.

One minute we were making out in bed and then the next he had inserted his penis inside me. He was inside me for a maximum of 02 minutes when I pulled away and told him that we just cant have sex. He didnt cum inside me and he was just inside me for like maybe 02 minutes. DOes this still pose a risk for HIV.

I am stressed. When I spoke to him about this he just brushed away my fears and told me that he has only had sex with one other woman (his previous girlfriend)

Does the risk of transmission reduce if the time inside the vagina is so short. I dont even know if I can actually say that I had sex with him. (It was like 02 minutes) as soon as I came to my senses within those few minutes, I moved away, because I am very worried about HIV situations.

ALso, is it true that the the virus is mostly present in seminal fluid. I know for a fact that he didnt cum inside me, but I am not sure if he had pre cum. Does pre cum have the virus too.? Is it as infections as semen.?

Please tell me I should worry about this incident. taking into account the fact that he was inside me for only about 02 minutes and since he didnt cum inside me.


Offline Ann

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #31 on: February 21, 2008, 06:20:32 AM »
hmm,

You have had a risk and you do need to test. However, given the brief nature of this encounter, I'd fully expect you to test negative. The earliest you can test is at six weeks, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. A negative result at six weeks is not likely to change, but MUST be confirmed at the three month point.

You'd be wise to have a condom handy when you're fooling around. It's all too easy to get carried away, as you've discovered.

By the way, I know you applied for a new account today. You agreed to having only one account when you joined these forums and this information is also included in the Welcome Thread. Creating multiple accounts is a bannable offense here. Attempt to create a new account again and you WILL be banned.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #32 on: February 27, 2008, 11:39:20 PM »
Thanks for your response.

Please let me know if the risk reduces if there is no semen involved. Is Semen more viable to infect than pre cum.

I live in a country where HIV testing is not widely available and it is a terrible ordeal to get a test done since people are not very open minded about the whole thing. So if you feel that my risk was minimal I will not test and put my self through the whole pressure of testing.

Have there been any cases that you guys have come across that have had an exposire for such a short time (maximum 02 minutes) and have been infected. Also, there was no ajaculation.

Please do let me know. I really need to put this behind me. Like Ann advised I will remember how easy it is to slip up. I am so thankful that I came to my senses soon and things didnt go any further.

Thank you so much for your help. Please give me your answer/s.

Offline Ann

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #33 on: February 28, 2008, 06:36:15 AM »
hmm,

It would be best if you tested. Anyone who is sexually active should be testing at least once a year anyway.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #34 on: February 29, 2008, 05:39:47 AM »
Thanks for your response. I will get tested. Unfortunately I have to wait 02 months till the end of April.

can you please answer a few questions that I have for peace of mind sake while I wait for the next two months.

01. Is the risk of transmission lowered if the time of contact is as less as 02 minutes.

02. Is pre cum less infectious than Semen.

03. Are there a lot of incidents or is it few where women have been infected by only been exposed to pre cum.

Thanks for all your help.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #35 on: February 29, 2008, 05:48:49 AM »
A risk is a risk. Getting a test will cover all bases.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #36 on: February 29, 2008, 08:27:31 AM »
Your anxiety and concern are certainly very understandable. But we don't like to get into guestimates about % of risk because all that is ...is guessing.

What I can tell you is that from what you have described I would consider transmission occuring to be unlikely. It was a single and very brief incident without ejaculation. Those are significant factors which weigh in your favor. However, low risk is not the same as no risk as you understand.

Ann has mentioned getting tested at 6 weeks. If you test negative as I think is likely, that result is unlikely to change at 13 weeks. But you do need to re-test at 13 weeks for a final result.

During the waiting time if you get productively busy you will find the time can go more quickly than you may imagine possible. Good luck and keep us posted.   
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #37 on: March 19, 2008, 02:01:37 AM »
Hi just to check on some info. I will be in the USA on some official business towards the end of May or beginning to mid June. I will be in NYC during this time.

What I need to know is as a foriegner, in America is their a place where I can get an HIv test done. Ofcourse I will not be covered by insurance and I am willing to pay the hospital to get the test done. Do you know how much it will cost and can you let me know where I can get the test done in NYC.

Also, how long do the results take since the day the blood is given,

Please help me and let me know if this option is available. Also please let me know about the home testing kits which are available and how they work and how accurate they are. 

Thanks for all your help.

Offline Ann

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #38 on: March 19, 2008, 07:20:07 AM »
hmmm,

You can find testing centers in the US by going to the HIV testing center database. You will have to contact the individual centers yourself and find out the cost and time between testing and getting your results. It will vary from place to place.

Home Access is the only approved home testing kit and it is only available in the US.

Given the brief nature of your encounter, I fully expect you to test negative, but the only way to find out for certain is to test.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline so upset!!!

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Re: panic attacks
« Reply #39 on: March 19, 2008, 12:41:46 PM »
i am a straight male 30 yo. i just moved to ireland, i recently have had unprotected sex(one night stand) with a woman from a nightclub, about 3months ago... anyways a week or so later i had what seemed to be the flu for 2-3 days. although... no rash,vomiting,or diarrea... and as i said only lasted for 2-3 days!!! the thing is i know this woman sleeps around... she is with a different man every week. i am driving myself sick with worry!!!. please give me some advise... i.e. what are the chances of woman to man?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #40 on: March 19, 2008, 01:11:09 PM »
Upset, you need to start your own thread. It's against our rules for anyone to hijack someone else's thread to discuss their own concerns, however unintentional.

Start your own thread and you will get responses there.

Thanks for your cooperation.   
Andy Velez

Offline anonymous2076

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #41 on: March 19, 2008, 05:33:48 PM »
Given what andy has said, i think the scenario i highly doubt that you have anything to worry about. The one thing that needs to be remembered is that if you are gonna participate in these activities, a condom needsto be readily available as part of practicing safe sex. Even sex with your husband since there is no way of knowing what happened While he was away

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #42 on: March 19, 2008, 05:41:50 PM »
Anonymous

You need to take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with our posting guidelines which state:

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

MtD

Offline anonymous2076

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #43 on: March 19, 2008, 05:49:56 PM »
oh ok sorry about that. ill demember for next time

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #44 on: May 23, 2008, 12:03:53 AM »

Hi Guys,

I finally got the courage to go and get the test done.

It was nearly six months after the last unprotected oral sex incident and three and a half months since the last unprotescted vaginal sex incident.

The test results came back negative.. I am so totally releived...

I have covered the window period right ? and I dont need to test again ?

It's such a releif to be able to move on.

Thanks so much for the help and support at a time when I was feeling really scared.

Great job on the forum. keep up the good work guys.





Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #45 on: May 23, 2008, 12:19:09 AM »
The window period is 3 months so, yes your 6 month result is utterly conclusive. Congratulations, you are HIV negative and you have our permission to get on with your life.

Farewell,

MtD

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #46 on: June 18, 2008, 05:17:49 PM »
Hi,

just need to check something....

I was told that fingering is a non risk activity... but my question is, is it still non risk if the guy touches himself just before he fingers the women and if the guy has pre cum on his fingers that he uses inside the womens vagina.

How is it not risky ?

Doesnt bodily fluids get transferred.... I had a situation like this which involved fingering soon after he touched himself.... and I have been thinking about the risk...

Please take the time to explain to me how fingering the women even with precum in the hand falls under a non risk zone....

I am feeling a bit worried which is why I am checking...

Thanks you for your help


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #47 on: June 18, 2008, 06:08:53 PM »
If you're still worried about the same incident, all of this is totally irrelevant since you have reliably  tested negative.

As to your specific question, HIV is a fragile virus. It is not passed by touching, not even if the guy's finger was dripping with his precum. It doesn't survive in the air in that way. It needs the very supportive environment which either a vagina or an anus provides. So if that's your latest what if worry, you can forget about the fingering thing. Really. 
Andy Velez

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #48 on: June 19, 2008, 04:38:41 PM »
thanks sooooo much andy... you are the perfect moderator... you always know how to make us people feel good.....

getting an answer from you always helps to ease my fears...

You are not going to believe how many times I have read and re read you answers to me....

THANK YOU....

Offline hmmmm

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Re: Stressed about HIV
« Reply #49 on: July 30, 2008, 01:14:29 PM »
Hi andy,

another quick question... I got it throgh my thick skull that even fingering with loads of pre cum in the hand does not transmit HIV.... thanks for helping me understand....

Can HIV be transmitted if the guy has an open wound or cut on the finger ?????

Thanks


 


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