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Author Topic: work  (Read 4081 times)

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Offline penguin

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work
« on: July 08, 2006, 11:07:53 AM »
Umm…yes. Bit of a problem with work.  Actually, quite a big problem, ongoing you might say, the kind which has me sitting here looking at a just-completed application form. Something very different, sort of, encouragingly dynamic dual diagnosis team. More money, more challenge.  But that’s beside the point.
I like my job. Well, I like the concept of my job, the clients. Problem = manager. (I have other names for her, but that will do for now)
I don’t like the word discrimination. Tends to open a  whole can of worms, that one, and the only place I want them is in the soil at the allotment. But this is just getting silly. Will put this in bullet points, thoughts aren’t entirely clear on this one.

- amazingly, every man and his dog (at work, anyways) know my hiv status. Not a problem in and of itself…I’d of told em anyway, can’t be bothered with keeping secrets anymore these days.  Just prefer to be the one doing the telling, is all.

- Jokingly, supposedly, she tells me that myself and the other woman I job-share with, were only hired to score PC brownie points…patty, because she is 56, and me, cos, well…I’m disabled. And other stuff. Nice confidence booster, that one.

- After interviewing a (mobility impaired) prospective employee, she stands in the office, by my desk, muttering about how equal opportunities are all very well, but “you get what you pay for when you hire the sick and the lame”. Don’t know about everyone else, but when I’s muttering, rest of the room isn’t hearing me.  When I pulled her up on this, she insisted she was joking/didn’t say that/etc etc etc

- the lunch break issue. Biggy, this one. I take some meds which require 3x daily dosing. With food. Proper food, not just a biscuit, or an Ensure…otherwise I’m being ick all afternoon and it’s not pretty. I take these meds at 1pm. I am willing to change this to anytime between 12 and 2pm. Or even a bit earlier or later. I just need 15-20 minutes to eat something and swallow pills. And no, we’re not allowed to eat at our desks anymore, not even a rich tea, cos there are new computers to protect., and it doesn’t give a good impression. (To who? Is my response, but never mind) Po-faced Annie refuses , on a regular basis, to allow me to have a break/lunch…usually until around 4pm. Or, she offers me 10 am, or something equally ridiculous. Very helpful . We have had numerous “discussions” about this,and she just isn’t giving any ground. But, the diabetic secretary, all “I feel weak/tired/faint” every 5 minutes, gets her guaranteed lunch break, of one hour, often longer.

There is other stuff, personal stuff, about me, which just isn’t funny. And I should probably fight this one, yes, that would be the right thing to do , but to be honest, I don’t want to.  It is so back door these days, for the most part, the discrimination. Ends up just she said/ I said/ he said, and I ain’t going to win that one.  And then there’s the yoga practising, meditating part of me, that says, meet the anger/negative energy with love, challenge it that way, educate and explain and understand…

but still, the application form, done, dusted, in addressed envelope, is sitting in front of me.

Answers on a post card, please, people

Kate

Offline newt

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Re: work
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2006, 11:45:00 AM »
You boss is breaking the UK disability discrimination legislation, not to mention I expect, various in-house policies.  A fight's a fight n with a manager it's always tough. New job might be better for you if you have the option.  Alternatively there are people in East London who fill wheelie bins with extra rubbish at reasonable rates (so I am told)

Chin up and best foot forward (against her arse).

But seriously, a little bit of documentation, eg when you requested lunch, when it was refused and a letter to personnel pointing out the duty to make reasonable adjustments under the DDA may be the way to go. I suspect, your card will be marked the very same day. But so will hers be and no further lives to mess up will she go

- matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: work
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2006, 12:20:53 PM »
Chin up and best foot forward (against her arse).

But seriously, a little bit of documentation, eg when you requested lunch, when it was refused and a letter to personnel pointing out the duty to make reasonable adjustments under the DDA may be the way to go.


LOL Matt. Kate: Sorry to hear this.  >:( Love Matt's idea about documentation. Annie's decisions are hindering your health and therefore your productivity. If I were you, I would keep a spiral notebook and name it "Chronology, Details & Insight re: Annie's Unprofessional Verbal Vitriol and Her Predilection for Creating an Unhealthy Atmosphere of Abject Compliance and Favoritism" (Annie sounds like a f#@%&#g fascist)
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 12:25:46 PM by allopathicholistic »

Offline penguin

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Re: work
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2006, 02:09:19 PM »
They have a phone number, these east London boys?

Good idea, yes, the writing down, whether in titled journal or otherwise - have been recording, half-arsed it must be said, but will collect thoughts better and make a proper go of it.  Yes, she is flaunting DDA and in-house rules, and if it was anyone else but me, I’d be banging down doors …something though, possibly small person who was bullied? says no, it’s not that bad, just lunch breaks and silliness and no one would take it seriously anyway.
My eyes are quieter than usual, as someone said the other day, so change is needed, clearly. but there should be a letter before I go, or a meeting, or perhaps both.
Tomorrow, weather permitting, plan is a walk from Hampton Court to Kew Gardens…long, yes, but if we get there before closing, there is the reward of the colours and the perfume and the glasshouse.  And then perhaps some beers in a pub garden somewhere, to watch football and people and Sunday ending.

Thank you, both of you.

Kate

Offline newt

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Re: work
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2006, 03:52:06 PM »
Personallly, if I were leaving and had the exit sorted, a public dressing down would seem to me the desirable and delicious parting shot.  :D

Kew glasshouse, v good trip, esp. at the end of the day in the sub-tropical one when they turn on the misters.

Much love

- matt
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 03:53:37 PM by newt »
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline newt

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Re: work
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2006, 03:54:55 PM »
Re: east London, I know a vicar who can supply a number, but it's not a no-strings purchase, they always expect some service in return (on an indefinate basis) :-\
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline AlanBama

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Re: work
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2006, 06:45:24 PM »
Oh Kate, I feel for you.   I was severely discriminated against back in the early to mid 90's for having AIDS.  (for example, I was told it would be best if I did not attend the Christmas luncheon).

I got mad; I got hurt; I even tried to get 'even' (a strong laxative poured in someone's coffee cup can be very entertaining)......in the end, I had to rely on Karma to deal with the offender....she died earlier this year from lung cancer....as Jonathan says, "Just sayin"........
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline penguin

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Re: work
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2006, 12:52:19 PM »
to update, meeting with the ladies in personnel/hr on friday, and an interview on monday...nice way to sandwich the weekend, really.

big thank yous everyone for making me realise this situation isn't (and hasnt' been for some time) cricket.

kate

Offline naftalim

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Re: work
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2006, 01:22:59 PM »
Don't we all hate bullies?  See if you can print this page and leave on her desk discreetly

http://edition.cnn.com/2004/BUSINESS/08/26/corporate.psychopaths/index.html

Offline hjeffs

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Re: work
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2006, 02:34:17 PM »
OK, you were kind and you didn't say the word but I will, your boss is a bitch! I can't believe it.

I agree with what was said above and your comments. A complaint at this time with you staying at your job would only complicate your work environment. But......if you are leaving I would file a formal complaint with your HR department against your B.... Boss. Her behavior and words are not acceptable behavior anywhere! I am not even there and am pissed! I can't believe it.

Your breaks on the other hand are a medical requirement. Here in California a letter from a doctor would eliminate any discussion allowing your breaks to be taken around your meds. Actually and right minded boss would allow you to do this with out any question.

I wish you luck with your current situation and best of luck finding something new!

Jeff

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: work
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2006, 06:25:36 PM »
naf: that is hilarious! image below, everyone please click!  ;D
jeff: in da hood she'd be called a B-Yotch!!  >:(
kate: here's me wishing you the best yet again. right usually wins out over wrong. and when it doesn't, well, something better's around the corner  8)


[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline Basquo

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Re: work
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2006, 08:09:27 PM »
Quote
OK, you were kind and you didn't say the word but I will, your boss is a bitch!

"Tw*t's that?  I c*n't hear you!"  Wouldn't that be fun to say in a loud voice? I'm just sayin'... :-X

Offline penguin

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Re: work: update
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2006, 03:55:14 PM »
combination of  >:( and  :-\, with just a touch of  :'( thrown in for good measure, today. who needs words when you got flashy little smiley face things.

do i want to take this further? is the question i was asked earlier. strike that actually, cos it was more "you don't want to take this any further, do you..?" subtle, yes, but point made loud and clear.
so do I, i suppose is the question, which i have told them I will get back to them on, once i have pondered a bit. They listened, they looked at my documentation of all the nonsense, and they obliged when i requested that Madam (present for the first 15minutes, & doing a brilliant,oscar winning I-think-disabled-people-are-a-wonderful-addition-to-the-team and i didn't realise there was a problem why didn't you talk to me.. number) leave the meeting.When I behave like an idiot, or do something wrong (fairly frequent occurence, must be said) i at least have the guts to admit it + own it.
meh, as a younger member of this forum often says. meh.
don't know what this post is for, really, probably just to clear out the head a bit. sorry for that though, this is a forum, not a rubbish bin..
Kate


Offline newt

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Re: work
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2006, 04:09:48 PM »
If you need someone to pop round n put weebkiller on her lawn, just ask

 ;D
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline frenchpat

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Re: work
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2006, 04:48:19 PM »
Newt,

try kudzu vine instead, the stuff grows so quickly you need a full time gardener to keep hacking the space clear... she'll never enjoy her garden again haha ;D

Kate,

that boss of yours is a pervert! The laws MUST be on your side and you will prevail. If you do you can still do a garden job on her...

Pat
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline pozniceguy

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Re: work
« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2006, 06:23:24 PM »
I have not had the direct experience that you are working but a very closely related one...concerning "age"  I am as they say older...not ancient...but not a recent college graduate either.   Through a reorganization I was put in a situation with a new "BOSS"  who really didn't want me... he preferred the younger easier to bully types who were afraid of being fired.     I had/have long ago learned how to play the Personnel game both as an employee and as a "BOSS".  The answer is dated notes..with exact quotes whenever possible...also for critical items ( like being refused breaks for meds )  a little follow up note immediately after a conversation "clarifying" what was said really puts a choker in the pot. ( always save a copy and use e-mail if you can , since most companies/agencies have access to your e-mail.   )...a few rounds of this usually brings all sorts of do-gooders out of the wood work....some are not your friends !!!!!.....they sound like they want to help you but are really just building their own agenda of some sort.....To get to the end the BOSS  was "shocked " at my actions he thought we could work things out together without getting anyone else involved....meanwhile he promoted a much younger person to the senior job that I was clearly best qualified to do.   he rationalized this by saying he was more "comfortable" with this person at that position..."BOSSES" have a lot of leeway.... Ifiled a formal complaint but our division was sold and I was "surplussed" with a years pay and other benefits.
He was appointed to a position in the new company but was fired three months later.
What goes around eventually bites you in the ass...

Keep good notes ,let your "BOSS" know that you expect to be listened to and you will follow up with "confirmation of discussions........
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline penguin

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Re: work
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2006, 06:30:09 PM »
yes, weedkiller, perhaps a nice aids ribbon stencil
dunno about kudzu vine, over here...but i got some prize-winnning bind-weed from the allotment :)

they have my notice, anyway, so just really about how much noise & mess i want to make on the way out i suppose..

kate

Offline Just John

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Re: work
« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2006, 07:22:40 PM »
Hi Kate,

I've been reading about your problems and I am disgusted at your work colleagues and bosses. As i read it, you've already planned your exit and have another job lined up and my next move if I were in your position, especially if you've documented the bullying and discriminatory comments would be to take the bastards to the cleaners at an industrial tribunal, constructive dismissal seems to fit the bill quite accurately not to mention disability discrimination. You only have 3 months after leaving to apply for a hearing so my suggestion is that you make an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau or get some form of legal advice quickly.

I admire your stoicism in putting up with these problems so quietly up to now, but now is your chance to expose the bitch in public and also humiliate your apparently uncaring bosses; now is your chance to kick ass big time.

Keep fighting, keep strong.

I'll keep you in my thoughts, John.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Offline appleboy

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Re: work
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2006, 08:08:53 PM »
Kate,
I ran into a similar problem about 5 years ago though a bit different it still hurt.  I became close to co-worker of mine at new job for a school district.  I was the Macintosh tech.  I had just really started breaking out of the closet.  One day my I told my co-worker during lunch I was gay.  She said well I guessed and Judy (my manager) and I were discussing this the other day.  Well I decided when I got back from lunch I was going to talk to my manager and I did.  I said Judy just to clarify things so that no rumors are started and you hear it right from the horses mouth I am gay.  She hugged me and said I am so happy for you blah blah blah.  A few weeks later I had to start documenting what I was doing all times of the day and no one else had to do this.  I was removed from my office and moved to the offices across town.  I refused to do any of the documentation saying that it was not fair that I had to do it.  She finally called me while I was working a lab at one of the schools and said I hear you have a problem with me.  I finally munstered up all the balls I had and said yes I do and what you are doing is not fair.  She told me to go home and come to her office to meet the next morning.  I called the superintendent and was told that the worse thing is you will be fired and offered no more information.  That was my clue that it had gone through the ranks of the school system.  I returned the next day and was fired or told that I could resign and if I wanted to fight it I could go infront of the school board in less than 24 hrs.  I signed the resignation form and left and never looked back.  I so feel for what you are going through.  I pray with all my hear this job you are applying for is the dream job.  I hope if you do stay that it has opened you companies eyes to the bullshit that your manager has given you.  Just because you are gay, female, black, white or have any type of illness does not constitute dumb ass people giving you hard time.  Karma I belive in it and I got a quite a few e-mails a year after I left that Judy had been fired. 
I am right there with you sweetie!  Hang in there!
AppleBoy
*hugs*
If you are walking down the street and your pants drop to your ankles bend over pick them up and keep on walking!
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