Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 18, 2014, 05:33:33 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 649798
  • Total Topics: 49594
  • Online Today: 284
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: My Story  (Read 15786 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
My Story
« on: October 25, 2007, 12:23:29 PM »
Hi,

Had some troubles with my personal life so got drunk and went for prostitutes (female) 2 times within past 5weeks. Both times used condoms provided by the female and used some sort of lubricant they had.

Both times the condom slipped for a while but at least 50% of my penis was covered. Once i took the condom off it seemed to be ok but i didnt check it with magnifying glass. They also gave me both times BJ with the condom on.. It was hard sucking so iīm afraid it might have detroyed the condom!!

After 3 weeks of the first time i got really scared of HIV.. So it took only few days after that when i started having flu (which i still have).. Now i keep finding all kinds of symptoms like dry skin / rash (which i have sometimes when its autums/cold).. havent been sleeping well so have a bit feverish feelings sometimes and upset stomache!

Iīm really paranoid when it comes to diseases but the symptoms started after 3 weeks of the incident (which i guess its typical case).. Now iīm a wreck!!

thanks for reading this.. you guys do really imp job!


Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2007, 12:54:44 PM »
OK. First of all, stop having sex when you're drunk. Casual sex and excessive drinking make for a dangerous combo in which safer sex can fall by the wayside. During periods of emotional stress it's very common for the brains to go out the window, so stay awake to this issue, please.

However, in your case you don't have anything to worry about in terms of HIV. The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered. If the condom was 50% on that means the head was covered. Condoms provide very effective protection against transmission.

You would have known if the condom had been damaged or failed. It's not about teensy weensy holes as some people imagine. When a condom goes it ends up looking like a fringed hula hoop on your johnson. So believe me, you would have known.

If you have any physical symptoms that concern you that is something to discuss with your doctor. This is not an HIV situation and no testing is necessary.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2007, 02:01:22 PM »
Thanks Andy,

Thatīs what i thought as well.. What made me scared is when i started having these symptoms!! I know.. ppl can have flu any time etc...

And also the fact that i was drunk.. that what really made me think of my stupid actions!!

my best wishes to everyone who are dealing with same issues.. This one was a real eye opener!!


Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2007, 02:08:40 PM »
OK. Glad you found the exchange to be helpful.

Get laid with condoms as much as you like. Just do it sober.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2007, 06:34:02 AM »
Yup.

I find your advice really helpful.. It has eased my mind abit..

Still a bit concerned about symptoms like rash/dry skin!!

Have to think something else and eat vitamins etc..

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2007, 09:30:33 AM »
And see your doctor or a dermatologist if the skin problems are persistent. No sense in letting them become very uncomfortable.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2007, 07:03:09 AM »
hi,

I know i maybe should let it go byt still concerned.. =(

About symptoms (i know it doesnt mean anything).. BUT if one gets HIV.. will the symptoms come all at once (rash, flu, fever etc) or does it come one by one...??

i first got myself flu and occasional feverish feelings.. then after one week i keep finding dry skin /rash!!
What kind of rash is the "symptoms" rash?? Is it more like dry skin or totally red and thick??

I know i shouldnīt be thinking of this..but so concerned especially īcos i live in a relationship!!

Sorry for this "nonsense"



Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2007, 09:04:21 AM »
Kot,

Not every person who has been infected will get symptoms. For those who do get symptoms, they come and go all at once, not in bits and pieces.

You didn't have a risk for hiv infection in the first place. Condoms prevent hiv transmission.

See your doctor about your rash. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2007, 09:54:07 AM »
Hi Ann,

Thanks for your posting. I really appreaciate you guys finding time to answer!

This is just so huge thing in my life right now  so i keep guessing it in my mind. The flu is gone now.. I just think about this a lot and keep sweating due to the fact iīm scared.. Maybe thats what causing me itchy skin.. or a feeling its itching!! Iīm kust scared īcos it says in your "read first" columns that nothings 100% sure..

But i just try to let it go.. strenght for you guys!

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2007, 10:33:34 AM »
Kot,

The rash sometimes associated with ARS does not itch. See your doctor about your rash - it's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2007, 05:28:06 AM »
Hi,

Ok.. thanks. Guess its just the dry air here in Scandinavia right now (i have dry skin every year).

I guess only way for me to get rid of these thoughts is to take a test although its not necessary according you guys (who know so much more about HIV). Next week is 6weeks from the first encounter and 3 weeks from the second. Maybe its too early but i guess itīll ease my mind. Or maybe wait another month ītill its six weeks from the second encounter. BUT i have to admit your answers have made tremendous help in my state of mind.. I can sleep better and can think of something else as well rather than possibility of getting HIV

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2007, 08:26:46 AM »
Personally I would regard your seeing a doctor and perhaps specifically a dermatologist as a more pressing issue. Skin problems have a way of spiralling out of control if left untended. The skin is also a highly sensitive organ and some of what you are experiencing might be caused by your (unfounded) anxiety at the moment about HIV.

So as Ann suggested, check out what's going with your doctor.

This is not an HIV problem situation, but if you need to test and collect the inevitable negative result then go ahead and do so for your peace of mind. 
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2007, 11:00:10 AM »
Hi,

Thanks for your prompt answer. This is the thing i keep telling myself.. And have found help from your answers to my fears. Its just something that i need to figure it out in my head!!

Its just all these symptoms what make me fear more (even though it could be totally useless fears). Then the "what ifīs" comes to my mind.. I know its the start of all mind games.. I just keep telling myself i used condom, but my mind replies what if i missed something and remember wrong īcos wasnt sober!! Although iīm 100% sure i used condom and it was on when i pulled my johnson out!! Like you said.. maybe i just need to get tested in order to get my life back!!

Sorry for mumbling but writing helps me.. Although it gives you more workload.. Thanks again Andy and i try to stop "harrassing" you guys!

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2007, 11:04:33 AM »
Its just something that i need to figure it out in my head!!

Kot,

While your fears may be a head thing, your rash isn't. While it won't be caused by hiv, there are many other things it could be. Go see your doctor if it continues to bother you. Hiv testing won't tell you one single thing about your rash.

If your anxiety continues, perhaps it's time to see a counselor. This forum is not the appropriate place for you to work on your head issues.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2007, 11:18:17 AM »
Hi,

i got it.. Have a great week ahead

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2007, 10:25:59 AM »
Got tested today.

Roughly 6weeks from 1st incident and roughly 3weeks from second..

Negative!! Thanks for supporting me Andy and Ann.. Was talking with nice nurse and she encouraged me!!

Still a bit worried because started having diarrhea and bit of nausea and swollen lymphnodes(i started to check them yesterday quite regularly and just a moment ago realized one is big under my jaw//top of my neck). Can they grow when pressing them???

Its now 2 1/2  weeks from second encounter..

Am i speaking nonsense again??


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #16 on: October 30, 2007, 11:04:55 AM »
Am i speaking nonsense again??

Kot,

Er, yes.

Other things in this world cause diarrhea than hiv. You do not have hiv, so you need to see your doctor to find out which, of the hundreds of other possible causes out there, is causing yours. Whatever it is, it is NOT hiv.

Keep your hands off your glands as touching them all the time to see if they're swollen can MAKE them swell. Show them to your doctor for the same reasons you should discuss your diarrhea with the doctor.

You have not had a risk and you do not need further testing. You ARE hiv negative.

Please read the posting guidelines found in the Welcome Thread - you're getting close to a time out.

You ARE hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #17 on: October 30, 2007, 11:22:42 AM »
Hi,

Ok.. it just that all these symptoms seems to be coming so coincidentally.. if everything is ok. how come still keep getting all off them?? Thatīs what iīm wondering!!

Ok this was my last writing.. Sorry Ann!!


Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2007, 07:04:45 AM »
Hi Andy and Ann.

i know iīm in the brink of getting timeout īcos keep asking similar things all the time. But i pray you might have a bit understanding for me still

Lately i have been under huge stress.. Even the negative result didnīt ease my mind SINCE it was less than 6weeks from 1st counter of protective sex with prostitute and the less than 3weeks from the 2nd encounter of similar issue.

I just keep reading the net and find new possible symptoms in me!!! That whats scares me to death.

Question is that are the dryness of mouth/ lips and night sweats symptoms that comes after exposure to HIV or are they symptoms of HIV being in the body for sometime already??

I have been smoking a lot and drinking alcohol to hide my fears.. above mentioned symptoms could be due to that! At least i read it from the web=)(sorry i shouldnīt write this kinda stuff here)..

Just so freaked out for the possibility of condom breakage.. and the fact that i seem to get all the symptoms described in various forums and webpages!!

I know i did not have high risk according to you and other health officials whom i have spoken to past couple weeks(due to the fact i used condoms) but the ever emerging symptoms such as stomache aches//diarrhea and newly found glorities such as dry lips(feels a bit burning)/mouth.. aah.. endless swamp

AND I KNOW I`M pain in the a... but your help would be appreaciated!! And i pray good things for ya folks for being so helpful to all kinds of ppl here in the forum.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2007, 07:40:22 AM »
Kot,

Yes, keep posting over these NO RISK incidents and you'll be timed out.

Go see your doctor about your symptoms. They're nothing to do with hiv. You may find yourself feeling a whole lot better if you cut down on the cigs and alcohol as well.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection. Condoms prevent hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2007, 08:39:20 AM »
ok.

I see your frustration.. iīm just having all these symptoms popping out during past couple weeks and iīm completely scared.. Thatīs why i keep "annoying" you..

Find it hard to wait for next couple months before i can put this behind one way or another...

Sorry for any inconvenience.. i just think that many of "us" are fighting with these same issues.. checking of ourselves for possible symptoms!!


Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2007, 08:55:38 AM »
If you insist on testing again just for your own peace of mind, then in the waiting period you need to stay productively busy. That means more than hoisting drinks and lighting up cigarettes. It means directing your energies to activities which engage you in a positive way. And don't shake your head and say oh I am too upset to do that now.

Hooey!

You'll be amazed at how differently time can pass if you just begin taking steps to be busy in that way. By busy I don't mean franctic. I  mean doing things that matter to you.

And of course as far as we're concerned your continuing to test negative is a slam dunk.

Now, take the next right step and get busy.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2007, 09:09:38 AM »
Hi Andy,

Thats what i need to do.. and talk to some friends..

I really love your positive way of answering.. i know you have said no need to test, but iīm afraid i might give to my girlfriend (the guilt factor i guess.. maybe should tell her).. Somehow these fears are just overwhelming and every new "sickness"/symptom is a sign of HIV.. really got scared of sweating during nights (past couple nights) and my stomache has been really weird.. aches and diarrhea.. its been 2 weeks now since these "symptoms" started bit by bit!

Thanks for giving me strenght Andy

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2007, 09:23:49 AM »
Kot,

Harbouring feelings of fear and guilt can make your body feel pretty crummy. However, this forum is not the appropriate place for you to work through those feelings. Perhaps an appointment with a counselor is what's needed here.

And your warning still stands.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2007, 11:22:22 AM »
Hi Ann,

Iīll try to calm down.. Thanks for patience



Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #25 on: November 01, 2007, 09:05:04 AM »
Hi,

Today visited doctor and talked about situation.. She told me that my symptoms are also classic case of stress (nausea, diarrhea, sweating etc). Took some blood tests and will get the results tomorrow!!!

Hopefully this might help other ppl living in same condition to relax abit..






Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #26 on: November 02, 2007, 03:41:03 PM »
one question.

Could the hiv be transferred this way.

Like i told you guys the condom slipped halfway both times.. and i pulled it back!

After sex i took condom off.. washed my hands with soup.. and then washed my penis with soup..

There must have been some vaginal fluids in my on the side of my penis.. When washing my penis afterwards could the  could the fluids "go in" when washing my penis and cause HIV??

I dont know if this is stupid question??


Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: My Story
« Reply #27 on: November 02, 2007, 05:43:15 PM »
Kotz,

I presume you mean "soap" not "soup".

There is no way HIV could be transmitted in the way you describe.

It doesn't matter how you try to slice this, our answers to you will not change.

MtD

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #28 on: November 02, 2007, 05:58:48 PM »
soap yes.. sorry not english speaking..

thanks matt.. over and out (this time try it for real=)

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #29 on: November 03, 2007, 10:08:13 AM »
In the event of condom breakage.. is oneīs penis sticking out from it?? is it completely smashed?? I havenīt ever had any breakage so canīt tell !! If the sperm is on the tip and sides(when pulling penis off) of condom after ejaculation it shouldnīt be broken (does the tip gets broken)?? Is it always completely smashed that one notices if there was any breakage??
« Last Edit: November 03, 2007, 10:10:05 AM by Kotzen »

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #30 on: November 03, 2007, 11:39:44 AM »
When a condom breaks it's very clear what has happened. It ends up looking like a fringed hula hoop on your johnson.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #31 on: November 03, 2007, 11:42:52 AM »
When a condom breaks it's very clear what has happened. It ends up looking like a fringed hula hoop on your johnson.

Could you elaborate a bit.. I`m not english speaking!! sorry..

does it mean oneīs penis is sticking out from it??

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #32 on: November 03, 2007, 11:50:40 AM »
OK. When a condom breaks it's not some teeny tiny little hole that you can't even see.

It really shreds and you end up with the ring of the condom on your penis and the rest of it hanging down in shreds.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #33 on: November 03, 2007, 11:58:02 AM »
OK. When a condom breaks it's not some teeny tiny little hole that you can't even see.

It really shreds and you end up with the ring of the condom on your penis and the rest of it hanging down in shreds.

Thatīs what i thought.. so my penis would have been obviously uncovered?? As long as it was "tightly" on my penis when taking it off it should be ok??
« Last Edit: November 03, 2007, 01:15:46 PM by Kotzen »

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #34 on: November 03, 2007, 04:09:21 PM »
Yes, you were covered. And it would have been very obvious to you if you weren't.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #35 on: November 05, 2007, 01:27:23 PM »
thatīs what i thought!

And i guess there is not even theoretical risk to be contracted HIV if there was some vaginal fluids in the side of penis or in the pubic hair since i went to shower next day (though washed my hands and penis with soap immediately after sex)?

just narrowing down possibilities.. One thought came to my mind.. is it possible to take away the condom in a wrong way that it could cause HIV? I always just take from the "ring" with my both hands and press /slide it down (not rolling) so the ejaculation stays in and the condom comes off in "fully-rolled-down-shape"..

Sorry for stupid questions.. Not so experienced in sex life i guess!!

Thanks Andy so much of your patience.. lifeīs starts to feel better again...
« Last Edit: November 05, 2007, 02:36:58 PM by Kotzen »

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #36 on: November 05, 2007, 03:18:56 PM »
And i guess there is not even theoretical risk to be contracted HIV if there was some vaginal fluids in the side of penis or in the pubic hair since i went to shower next day (though washed my hands and penis with soap immediately after sex)?

YES, YOU GUESSED RIGHT. NO CHANCE OF HIV TRANSMISSION THAT WAY. PERIOD.

just narrowing down possibilities.. One thought came to my mind.. is it possible to take away the condom in a wrong way that it could cause HIV? I always just take from the "ring" with my both hands and press /slide it down (not rolling) so the ejaculation stays in and the condom comes off in "fully-rolled-down-shape"..

NO PROBLEM. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY FOR YOURSELF TO TAKE THE CONDOM OFF ONCE YOU'VE WITHDRAWN AFTER INTERCOURSE. NO MATTER HOW YOU TAKE IT OFF OUTSIDE OF THE VAGINA IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A RISK.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #37 on: November 06, 2007, 06:22:38 AM »
Thanx Mr. Velez.

I guess i just have to believe you guys... I have been going through this zillion times narrowing down possibilities and something always keeps bumping up! Despite iīm still feeling sick i try to continue and think other things.. Maybe it helps me feeling better.. Flu has been going on and of for 3 weeks and diarrhea/night sweats around half that time.. Occasionally feeling better but when doubts come to my mind i start feeling worse again..

just been worried for the fact that i was drunk and maybe did not realize something (didnīt have my specs on).. After ejaculation the condom looked ok. There was not much air in and that what made me scared it was broken.. but the sperm was in (and the prostitute did not mention anything when they threw it away it..). Donīt know the brand of condom.. They where packed in "see through" plastic.. Looked regular but donīt know if lambskin or latex.. hmm..

Iīm forever grateful for couragement and making my life bit easier!!
« Last Edit: November 06, 2007, 10:53:50 AM by Kotzen »

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #38 on: November 06, 2007, 11:06:56 AM »
Any change of getting HIV from prostitutes hands when they were putting the condom on?? I Noticed they were putting something inside them.. maybe lubricant or some sort of "sperm killer" just in case the condom would break.. After that they put my condom on!! both times..

So there might have been some vaginal fluids on their hands which would "go inside" me...

Iīve read the transmission threads.. HIV is transmitted via unprotected vaginal sex.. But isnīt it a fact that during unprotected vaginal sex the fluids goes in from maleīs urethra hole.. So if there is vaginal fluids in hands and when putting the condom on it might touch the urethra hole or top of penis and then cause HIV???

iīm not sure whether iīm complete idiot or looking at this scenario too "simple".. i have to admit that i donīt have such a deep theorethical understanding about HIV like you guys but if its a risk to touch (just touch) the vagina with the head of oneīs penis so why there wouldnīt be possibility to be contracted HIV through hands if they where "affected" by e.g vaginal fluids??

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #39 on: November 06, 2007, 01:23:03 PM »
HIV is a fragile virus. Even if a woman has some of her vaginal fluids on her hands the virus would not be viable in that circumstance. Additionally, the fluids which would likely contain HIV are from her cervical area, which is further up in the vaginal cavity and she wouldn't have those fluids on her fingers.

How many ways do you have to be told you're worrying needlessly.

I think  I need to tell you that you're edging towards getting a time out here. We've really told you what we can about your situation. We are not willing to keep replying to each additional twist and worry you come up with.

As I have told you before you need to get productively busy with other matters in your life. Really. 
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #40 on: November 07, 2007, 04:24:33 AM »
Hi,

Thanks Andy.. Youīre right. Hopefully at least someone in this forum has learnīt something through your answers in my postings although they seem to be irritating to you moderators. At least i have learnīt a lot and been feeling better. Hopefully i can pass these valuable info to my freinds etc. and help ppl in same situation!!

My sincere apologies if have been too much of a pain in the a... =)

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #41 on: November 07, 2007, 09:07:16 AM »
I'm glad you found the responses to be helpful. Move on with your life and make sure you use latex condoms for intercourse every time. Then you will be literally and figuratively covered.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #42 on: November 08, 2007, 03:55:32 AM »
Thanks Andy.

Started to feel bit better past couple days. I will keep ya posted. Trying to think other stuff! it was just important for me to go through different scenarios.


Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #43 on: November 09, 2007, 03:25:23 AM »
not sure wheter it was latex condom.. they were provided by prostitutes!

Have a great weekend!

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #44 on: November 11, 2007, 08:35:36 AM »
Just a brief question..

Can HIV be "spotted" on the tests when the so called symptoms starts?? Or why is the recommendation 3 months.. Just curious and wanna learn more.. Is there any drastic changes in blood levels during the first symptoms??

i know you guys arenīt doctors but more info on these matters would be appreciated.. So tired of reading net and finding different info!
« Last Edit: November 11, 2007, 11:06:26 AM by Kotzen »

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #45 on: November 11, 2007, 12:59:54 PM »
Hi,

before i get kicked to the cyber space just one question. As you can read from my previous postings you know my situation..

Still concerned about the condom breakage although i have talked about it before.

First time was ok.. After taking penis out the sperm was in the "hood" of the condom. There was not much of air inside the condom which was kinda strange in my opinion! But the condom looked "normal shape". Maybe i have used condom " wrong way" before.

Second time for a brief moment i felt really warm on top of my penis but didnīt check the condom. After ejaculating there was sperm on "hood" of condom and it looked same way like first time (not much air inside) which i still think kinda strange.. But it looked"normal shape".

Is there any way the condom could be broken and the sperm would still be inside the condom?? You have said that when condom breaks it looks like its exploded!!! But i guess it takes time to shred totally (since it starts from small tear.. just guessing)?? If it breaks at the end of intercourse there might not be time for it to "explode" fully.. i guess..

It just feel kinda coincidental that after having intercourse with potential "higher risk" partners (prostitutes) i start to have all these symptoms.. And yes i started having huge fears after second time so it could possibly cause these things.. Now i have been having on and off rash in my groins.. (and its not guilt factor anymore.. told my girlfriend about this).. Now it just plain fear of my life/health!

Sorry for troubling you guys, but i feel i have no other people to turn to and ask... I Have called to doctors etc but they are always so busy..

I would appreciate if someone could have time to answer my previous postings.. Thanks again.. I think iīm starting to do voluntary work on local hiv/aids-center next week..


Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: My Story
« Reply #46 on: November 11, 2007, 03:22:41 PM »
Kotzen,

The answer is a simple no.

Nothing you report in this latest post changes anything. You don't have HIV. The condom didn't rupture. If you're having difficulties dealing with your fears about HIV, you should speak to a mental health professional.

I would remind you of this section of the posting guidelines:


Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


MtD

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #47 on: November 12, 2007, 03:23:07 AM »
Thanks Matty..

You guys are superb ppl. Its just times when have stress about HIV issue its better to ask than pile things up.. Thanks so much of your support.. i

Have a great week ahead..
« Last Edit: November 12, 2007, 08:09:43 AM by Kotzen »

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,337
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: My Story
« Reply #48 on: November 13, 2007, 06:51:00 AM »
Kotsen -- I've given you your first Time-Out (28 days) for repeated postings about a no-risk event, even after your questions about risk were clearly answered.

Peter Staley
Founder
AIDSmeds.com

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #49 on: December 15, 2007, 11:59:26 AM »
Hi,

Just wanted to update some stuff though not sure if iīm allowed since got the ban 1 month ago. Anyways, took test for gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis and they came back negative (never took these tests before so thought it was a good time to do it). Will still test for hpv, hep c and other stuff since the place where i took tests doesnīt check those. Luckily in my country all the tests are free of charge (thatīs why wepay high taxes=)

Like to thank you guys for helping us worried ones.. Time has really flown fast since i havenīt thought about this issue all the time (like andy suggested).

Will take the rapid test after a month to put this thing behind. I guess its really about the comfort level of each person.. Some ppl donīt worry when condom is used and some ppl (like me) just get scared really easily. thatīs why shouldnīt engage myself into activities like what i have done.

But anyways, thanks guys for helping us on your free time..

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #50 on: December 15, 2007, 01:07:11 PM »
It's good to know that those other test results were negative. As I am certain your Rapid test will be as well.

Get on with your life and remember to use a condom everytime when having intercourse. They do they job very effectively.

Good luck to you.

Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #51 on: February 02, 2008, 09:16:08 AM »
Hi guys.

Just did the rapid test couple days ago. And just like you guys told me in your first reply couple months ago it was negative. Canīt believe i couldnīt trust you guys immediately=) Well, anyways i feel great again.

Just couple of words to other ppl in this forum. Trust these guys no matter what your head is saying to you. Lifeīs too short for worrying and losing 3months of your life like i did when being complete mess past few months.

Seeking info from net.. hmm.. one shouldnīt do that! If you need someone to talk to.. call hiv-centers! Not to local doctor because they sometimes really donīt know what theyīre saying or their info is seriously outdated. Thatīs my experience.. And iīm from country where the public healthcare system is each year rated top 3 in the world. Still the "average-joe" doctor with fancy p.hd might no know what theyīre saying!!=) sad but true.

Thanks and good health to everyone!




Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #52 on: December 07, 2010, 01:03:52 PM »
Not sure if supposed to start new thread or keep it in same postings i posted few years ago so i continued this one.

About 3 weeks ago i got again floolishly drunk and somewhere along the line hook up with CSW (bit blacked out where i met her..since last postings i have been trying to be carefull not to put myself into these situations but again did it!). We went to her place and started sitting down and smoking cigarettes. I was quite drunk so i just wanted to get sleep (dont ask me why I went there then!!). She went to kitchen and after a while brought me opened can beer. Stupidly i started drinking it and next thing i know i started feeling really tired and stumbled my way to bedroom where i passed out with all my clothes on (this is 100% sure). Next morning i woke up in the same spot naked.

CSW came into room and i asked her why am i naked and she said we had sex. I said no because couldnīt remember anything and then she said to me that thereīs condom on the floor. I looked at the condom and there was no sperm and it looked like it has been put there to convince me about us having had sex (it was so neatly opened and placed next to the condom paper). She started telling me how eager i was for sex etc. At this moment i got into shock/panic because couldnīt remember anything about sex. All i remembered is i went to bed and passed out! After that i put my clothes on and realised all my money was taken from my wallet. She claimed me giving it to her although i couldnt remember. Went home and later realised that all my money was taken from my account. I have contacted police about this..

Anyways what terrifies me now that later that day i started having these flashback/false memory/dream that someone took off my clothes. I also had this flashback of me being naked and thinking what am i doing?/ Does she have disease/am i having condom? and started to have sex but it felt quite unreal (thatīs where the "memory" ends of .. Canīt say it happened but canīt say it didnīt). This came later into my mind when i went home and started going this thing through my mind over and over again. I know you canīt give answers based on this story and i know this is not webpage for anxiety issues. Thought telling this thing so i could ask my question.


Is there any point at all testing before 6weeks (according to this forum 6week test gives good signs but has the info changed during past 3 years)? Iīm trying to survive next 3weeks and test at 6weeks + in 12weeks mark.

Tried not to bother you guys over this matter but here I am. Waiting game again and feeling completely lost and sure i canīt be lucky if my flashbacks are true.

Cheers


Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #53 on: December 07, 2010, 05:43:12 PM »
Yes Kotzen, you are supposed to use the same thread for all entries, so you did the right thing by putting your latest entry in here.

As you are aware you can't be certain what happened and what didn't happen during this latest incident. So although I do expect you to come out of this ok. the prudent thing to do is to get tested. Assuming you test negative at 6 weeks then the likelihood is you will continue to test negative.

This mixing casual sex and excessive drinking that includes blacking out is dangerous stuff. If this kind of behavior is a recurring problem for you maybe it's time to get some professional help. We can't help you with that in this setting.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #54 on: December 08, 2010, 03:27:38 AM »
Thanks Andy.

I have cut my drinking after this incident. Hopefully not too late now. Canīt believe i put myself into this situation.

I believe it was con-job because all my money has been taken from my account (believe she saw my PIN while taking some money from ATM). I rely on your previous postings and try to ignore symptoms which seems to be coming all the time while worrying like hell and getting depressed. But will get tested in 6weeks and then 12weeks.

I guess Iīll to concentrate my energy on other things and let time pass... Well, thats the only thing I can do. Happy upcoming holidays.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #55 on: December 08, 2010, 08:44:29 AM »
Yes, it does sound as if were "had" in this incident, and I don't mean sexually.

I do expect you to come out of this ok. Get busy with other things during the waiting period. It will help the time to pass more easily than you may imagine is possible.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #56 on: December 14, 2010, 01:45:35 AM »
Managed to stay calm for some days but now these symptom are making me afraid.

1 week plus after possible incident i started having off and on diarrheas. Been having some rash in my body but its so cold and dry weather here.
2 week plus after incident started having stuffed nose here and there and occasional night sweats
3week plus after incident all of the above continues, but last night i had this strange sensation. When i was sleeping in sofa i felt my legs are all going numb and tingling . First was thinking bad position. Then i always started to wake up and feel my legs "numbish". I freaked out and couldnīt sleep at all. Then suddenly i started feeling tingling feeling all over my body and it lasted for a while. I have been reading that this kind of symptoms are due to Hiv. What else could it be? I have this burning skin sensation.. I have been very depressed and scared for past couple weeks so not sure whether it is "psychological".

Does this sound like ARS? How does the ARS rash looks like? Is the tingling/burning skin typical ARS symptom?

Iīm now very sure i have hiv. Thereīs no other explanation.=( 

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #57 on: December 14, 2010, 04:05:57 AM »
Kot,

We discussed the rash that sometimes accompanies hiv seroconversion with you in detail three years ago. Re-read your thread. And NO, your rash sounds nothing like ARS rash. NOTHING.

The tingling you feel is attributed to hiv is nothing to do with hiv. When a positive person has this problem, it is caused by some of the older meds used to treat hiv, not hiv itself.

Just like three years ago, every single one of your symptoms can be attributed to stress.

It sounds to me like you were robbed, but not taken advantage of sexually. It's extremely difficult for a man to become erect enough when as drunk and/or drugged as you were. So I very much doubt any risky sexual activities took place.

Please be warned that you will not be permitted to use this website in the same manner as you did three years ago. You will quickly be given another time out (this one will last for 56 days) if you become obsessive once again.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #58 on: December 14, 2010, 04:49:51 AM »
Thanks Ann.

I really tried not to write here but i went into total panic and I trust your info concerning symptoms (although they should not be discussed). I do understand your frustration towards my writings.

Iīm seeking professional help for my issues if they continue. Managed to cock up loads of stuff this time. Thanks and have good holidays. 

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #59 on: December 14, 2010, 01:27:50 PM »
Before you guys pan me. Is the freezing feeling in body/legs same case as in tingling/burning what Ann answered?
Not to be associated with ARS? Sorry iīm wreck..

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #60 on: December 20, 2010, 11:52:24 AM »
Any answers on my previous post? Last thursday went to doctor to show my glands. She said theyīre fine. After that i have been "feeling" them (4 weeks after possible risky business). Just a moment ago i noticed couple red dots in my tongue (feeling like bit burned). As in there is no "hair" on those parts. Is that common in primary hiv infection. Please answer.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,363
Re: My Story
« Reply #61 on: December 20, 2010, 12:31:55 PM »
Nothing you are reporting symptomatically is suggestive of HIV.

I am going to give you a last warning. If you come back with more of this stuff you will get a 56 day Time Out. We can't help you with your non-HIV problem. Get the professional help you need. We just can't address your issues in this setting.

Andy Velez

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #62 on: December 21, 2010, 10:11:11 AM »
Thanks Andy for your quick response and sorry for driving you guys crazy.

I have seeked professional help that i need. Its just that this issue is too big to handle. All these new symptoms that keep popping (muscle stiffness/aches and general malaise). Finding your thoughts very helpful (symptoms comes all same time and majority get them between 2-4weeks) Havenīt slept properly for long time so I guess it makes all these symptoms happening as well (stress)

Anyways, I wish you guys good Xmas. Will try to take rapid HIV test end of next week (6weeks mark) and hopefully can come back with good news.. Thanks and so sorry for my behaviour!

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #63 on: December 24, 2010, 02:14:48 AM »
Promised not to write anymore but couldnīt.. =( Week ago doctor said my glands are normal under my jaw, but Tuesday noticed one is bigger (its quite big) than last week. And still is.. Its soft and doesnt hurt. No other noticeable symptom at the moment. Could this be ARS? Pls answer and you can give me timeout.. Im really worried now. So sad Xmas this year=). Hope other ppls have better.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Story
« Reply #64 on: December 24, 2010, 02:44:41 AM »
Kotzen,

No, one swollen gland isn't a sign of ARS. What it IS a sign of is a person who can't keep their hands off their glands and causes them to swell.

I'm giving you that time out you asked for. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Kotzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: My Story
« Reply #65 on: February 24, 2011, 07:40:47 AM »
Hi,

All tests negative on proper time frame (Hiv, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syfilis).

Thanks for helping me out and sorry for being irritating once again. Promised myself for not to put myself anymore into this kind of situation. Mentioned about this webpage to our local Hiv - center worker. They knew this webpage (up here in Scandinavia) and said this is reliable webpage. Just to let you guys know=)

Managed to calm down very well and the time out really did good for me. Hopefully i wont be repeat customer here anymore. Got unprotected blowjob from one woman, but your answers on previous postings made me calm (no worries on HIV and that what i was being told by our health officials as well).

Take good care.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.