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Author Topic: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE  (Read 3404 times)

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Offline cityboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 144
FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« on: October 24, 2007, 10:27:25 PM »
This is my first birthday that I am HIV positive. Have been positive over 2 months.   Just feeling very sad and depressed.  I wish it was last year.

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,893
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2007, 12:28:41 AM »
I know perhaps it won't make a difference, but let me say happy birthday to you and please accept a cyberhug.

Don't know if you manage to find things to do to celebrate a bit, but it does sound like you need some distractions. In any case if you need the time to feel the grief it may not be too bad an idea as well as we all need time to adjust. Just remember that it's a long haul flight, and we don't know yet where it's taking us but we do have some control on how we get there.

Just think of your birthday as a special peak that a cute flight attendent is giving you a glass of bubble for FREE!

Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2007, 08:30:46 AM »
Hey City, happy birthday!

I've moved your thread to the Living section, where you'll get more responses. I understand you probably posted in Mental Health because of the depression factor, but I think people would like to send you birthday wishes, hence the move.

I always look at each birthday as a victory - another year I've survived. I've looked at it this way since I was around 18 - long before I became hiv positive. Birthdays are all the more special for me now.

Hang in there!

Birthday Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2007, 09:20:56 AM »
Happy Birthday!

Isn't the point of a birthday to celebrate surviving another year?  Despite the obvious that it also means we're getting old(er), it also means we're alive.  So, celebrate having been alive for another year and expect many more.  Do something fun, relaxing, whatever.  Remember, it's your day.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2007, 11:16:43 AM »
Congratulations on your first birthday with HIV. Thing to do is try to think about how you want to feel NEXT year and where you want to be in a year. It helps.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2007, 11:30:25 AM »
Bittersweet, I know.

Birthdays are often a time for reflection for all of us as we use them as artificial markers of what our life is all about that are sometimes way too symbolic for our own good.  Of course, there is some good in the artificial markers - such as you are celebrating being alive with all the best hope that being so recently diagnosed you are facing the likelihood of a long lived life filled with many many birthdays to come....birthdays where you will be more focus on the depressing fact of loss of hair and growing paunch and advancement of crow's feet than being poz.

Happy Birthday to the old codger to be!


Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,382
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2007, 11:34:22 AM »
Hey Cityboy,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You know, after living with this darn bug for at least 22 years, I count each year as a victory of me over HIV.

Not only that, but it means I have spent another year above ground, accomplishing things I have set as goals, living life to the fullest.

I know at two months, this may seem like a dark time for you, but it will get better. Life is still there for the grabbing. Having HIV doesn't  end that.

Remember you are not alone. Your one of us now and we are family, even during dark times.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline poz1970

  • Member
  • Posts: 480
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2007, 11:38:42 AM »
Happy Belly Button Anniversary day!
"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to  heterosexuals. That doesn`t mean that God doesn`t love heterosexuals. It`s just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavne

Offline StrongGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 492
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2007, 01:06:50 PM »
Happy birthday!

I know it can be rough, but sometimes remembering you made it through the first year and you're still here can help. Hope you enjoy the day nonetheless!

:)
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,381
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2007, 01:10:40 PM »
Happy Birthday, City. And many happy returns of the day.

May you have many more birthdays --- and you will. And I can pretty much guarantee you they will get better. This is all very new to you and feeling down and discouraged is very understandable. Gradually you're going to see that life is going to go on and not only go on, but also include lots of wonderful stuff too.

Again, happy birthday.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2007, 03:31:29 PM »
I hear you man. Happenned exactly the same to me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!


Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline LACboi

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  • Posts: 72
  • AM member since June 2005
    • FaceBook
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2007, 04:50:02 PM »
Happy Birthday Cityboy, hopefully you will have a good year despite you diagnosis. We  have all gone through this and understand what you are dealing with. Just remember we are all here for you during your good days and your bad days.

Well take care of yourself,

jeremy...

Offline cityboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 144
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2007, 08:10:21 PM »
Thanks for all the well wishes.  My birthday wish was  that I was HIV neg again, but is impossible.  

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2007, 08:30:29 PM »
Happy birthday, hope you will celebrate many many more.

hugs,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,039
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2007, 12:30:29 AM »
Happy Birthday! That first year can be a pain... :P

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,245
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2007, 12:40:51 AM »
Thanks for all the well wishes.  My birthday wish was  that I was HIV neg again, but is impossible. 

How about a birthday wish, not a birthday dream!   ;)  Perhaps a wish of something like "I wish for HIV to not rule my life, and that I can still have a complete existence.  HIV will be part of my life from now on, but  it won't be my life".  I've only known of my HIV+ status since March of last year.  It's not been all good, but it's not been all bad, either.  Take care.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2007, 03:49:30 AM »
Happy Birthday... you are still here...keep your chin up things will get better  :D

Offline racingmind

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2007, 06:02:26 PM »
Happy Birthday!


....yeah the first year sucks.  I had kind of had a rough time.  I can tell you it does get better.  I didn't think that it could, but time heals wounds.  Chin Up and try to do something nice for yourself on your birthday!  We've all been there and feel free to vent here anytime, you'll find it therapeutic!
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Online BT65

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  • Posts: 9,837
  • Vegas baby!
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2007, 08:04:33 PM »
Happy belated birthday.  I hope you found something good to do on your special day.  Many, many more!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline BirdBear718

  • Member
  • Posts: 105
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2007, 10:29:58 PM »
Happy Birthday!  Rejoice in this day.  Rejoice in each and every day. 

Use these boards to help you remember to rejoice in your life. 
The people here will support you.

Have a fun day!
Have a fun tomorrow!

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #20 on: October 29, 2007, 06:23:51 AM »
Happy belated Birthday, Cityboy.

Two months into your diagnosis can be rough, but don't despair. Adjusting to this new reality takes time, and as others have said, eventually being positive will become just a part of your life. It isn't your whole life and you are still you.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline mesu

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: FIRST BIRTHDAY AS HIV POSITIVE
« Reply #21 on: October 29, 2007, 09:44:50 AM »
hi cityboy

happy birthday!

first 2 months is the roughest...i was diagnosed 2.5 months ago...the past 2 weeks i have become stronger. it takes time and you will go through different experience as time goes by.  my bday is coming up in 2 months time and i think i will have the same wish as yours :)  Nothing wrong to have dreams :)

by the time you celebrate your next birthday, you will be much stronger and will still live a happy life.

hugs,
mesu
Jan/Feb 07 - infected :(
Sept3: cd4 162; 13.5% VL 24,000
Oct5: cd4 68 13.6%
Nov6: cd4 205  14.64%
Dec10,07: cd4 188  15.67%  VL: 9900
FEB15,08: cd4 242 18.62%
Mar10/08: cd4 219 15.64%  VL: 7300
May26,08: start Truvada and Sustiva
July 18,08: cd4 255, 18.50%, VL undetectable (<75)
Nov 4,08: cd4 380, 27.14%,
Feb 6,09: cd4 296, 22.7%,
May 26: cd4 351, 27%,
Aug 28: cd4 310, 28%,
Dec 2009: cd4 321, 35.67%,
March 2010: cd4 325, 32%,
June 2010: cd4 385, 29.5%,
Sept 2010: cd4 368, 30.75%,
Feb 2011: cd4 431, 43.1%,
Jun 2011: cd4 433, 30.93%,
Sept 2011: cd4 435,  36 %,
Jan 2012, cd4 467, 33.36%
May 2012: cd4 421, 38.21%,
Sept 2012: cd4 393, 30.23%,
VL: undetectable since July 08

 


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