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Author Topic: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!  (Read 5612 times)

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Offline Stragoverdi

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Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« on: October 23, 2007, 07:21:07 PM »
Hello, great people! I write today with a question that must be the most common in here. I am not sexually experienced at all, and a month ago I had my first intercourse with a prostitute. Oral and vaginal were protected by a condom, and here are my questions about it, all of them typical of a "worried well" right?

1) I carry no risk from these activities where HIV is concerned?

2) If the condom had SLIPPED, I would have noticed? How about if it had BROKEN??. I distinctly remember checking it after the intercourse and I saw my sperm in the tip. It was a regular condom, kind of pink. Before, I had the doubt about it being "lambskin" or some other natural substance, but what I did was buy these Naturalamb condoms and now I know they are TOTALLY different (I have seen many people worry about them, believe me THEY ARE EXTREMELY DIFFERENT FROM REGULAR CONDOMS, THEY FEEL LIKE A PAPER BAG AND ARE REALLY WET, PlUS THEY HAVE NO TIP). So my worry for this side has gone away, but this brings to my NEXT question:

3) Is it possible to sabotage a condom without me knowing?? I mean, could the prostitute have intentionally used a non-effective condom? I remember her complaining about knee pain, and that makes me nervous. I know that if she had HIV I was protected by the condom, but what if it was one of those "novelty" ones? would I have noticed something different? Although this is my first, only and (for the moment) LAST experience with sex, I am very anxious about it. I say last because I don't intend to repeat it with prostitutes or anonymous people, not because of aversion to intercourse. I have seen condoms before, and this one really didn't have anything SPECIAL about it, which I doubt then it would be considered a "novelty". "Novelties" usually involve freaky stuff like vibrators or glowing in the dark, right??

I think it's quite obvious that I am very anxious, and I don't think I need to test, and I REALLY DON'T WANT TO! It scares the beejeepers out of me, so please, could you evaluate my "risk" if I had any? These days I've been having a little sore throat, and while I know that symptoms don't have anything to do, I can't help but wonder the most extreme and absurd cases. I did what SO MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD DO: have sex with a woman, with protection (she provided it), only that the woman was a prostitute which I don't think is anything out of this world or uncommon at all. Sorry about the rambling, but please answer soon! THANKS SO MUCH!!

So, to summarize: Protected vaginal and oral intercourse with a prostitute, and doubts about the condom (mainly the latter, stupid doubts from anxiety about the condom... it's amazing what the mind can make you think)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2007, 07:25:32 PM »
OK Studly, just settle down there.

If I'm reading you right, you used a regular latex condom?

If that's the case then you have nothing at all to be worried about. You did the right thing by practicing safer sex and so you don't need to test for HIV.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

MtD

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2007, 07:33:56 PM »
well, that is my question! IT WAS A CONDOM INDEED, used for everything... but how do I know it was latex?? A condom was used, a regular condom I could say because it didn't have anything special about it. It was not Lamskin (I know those, I bought them to compare yesterday) and it was not "novelty", but these last ones have been worrying me because I don't know how to differentiate them. The prostitute provided it. I saw her open the package and put it into me. We had oral, protected, and then intercourse protected... I pulled out, protected... she removed it and threw it away. That's all! Should I be worried Matty!?!?!?

I used a STANDARD condom for all my activity... but what the hell is a "novelty condom" it's nonsense for me to be this worried?! This is the only thing that makes me doubt my actions...
« Last Edit: October 23, 2007, 07:45:42 PM by Stragoverdi »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2007, 07:46:08 PM »
The prostitute provided it. I saw her open the package and put it into me. We had oral, protected, and then intercourse protected... I pulled out, protected... she removed it and threw it away. That's all! Should I be worried Matty!?!?!?

There's your answer kid.

Sex workers usually take this stuff very seriously. If the sex worker provided the condom, you can be confident that it was a latex number.

You don't need to be worried at all mate. Rather you should be feeling proud of yourself. For your first real sexual encounter you used protection. Make sure you do this every time you have vaginal or anal intercourse and you'll never have to worry.

Regards,

MtD

Offline RICKY77531

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2007, 07:48:30 PM »
why not get tested???  to put your mind at ease.....better to know now than later on...I am sure you have nothing to worry about, since you used a condom...but just get tested to make sure...    :-\
06/2007   CD4 266  Vl 62000
06/2007   CD4 200  Vl 13495
07/2007   ATRIPLA
09/2007   CD4 323  VL Undetectable
11/2007   CD4 428  VL Undetectable
01/2008   CD4 357  VL Undetectable
04/2008   CD4 357  VL UNDETECTABLE
08/2008   CD4 402  VL UNDETECTABLE
11/2008   CD4 421  79 DETECTABLE..
2/2009     CD4 450  VL UNDETECTABLE

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2007, 08:01:43 PM »
why not get tested???  to put your mind at ease.....better to know now than later on...I am sure you have nothing to worry about, since you used a condom...but just get tested to make sure...   

Ricky,

It's nice that you want to help here in Am I Infected but you should take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with our posting guidelines. In particular:

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.


The advice you've given Strag is not correct. He doesn't need to test as a result of his sexual encounter and whilst I'm sure you mean well your advice will probably cause him unnecessary stress and those of us who answer questions in this forum unnecessary aggravation.

Strag,

Please disregard the advice you've just received from Ricky. He means well, but he's incorrect. You do not need to test for HIV because you had protected sex.

MtD



Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2007, 08:56:14 PM »
why not get tested???  to put your mind at ease.....better to know now than later on...I am sure you have nothing to worry about, since you used a condom...but just get tested to make sure...   

Oh no... this is the LAST thing I wanted to hear... I know you mean well, but this is my first and ONLY sexual experience so far and I think that I've started OK. I really don't want to rely on the prostitute, not for judging or anything like that, but I prefer to know that I had protection. I know I did, even if she provided it, because the only other option (not Lambskin but "novelty condoms") is absurd, as there was nothing "new" or "special" about the condom I used. I went to a sex shop today and everything I saw as "novelty" for condoms was weird, exotic: such as glow-in-the-dark, vibrating, with funny messages and such. My condom was a plain ol' pink one. That's all it had, so I have no reason to believe it was not a regular latex or polyurethane one. Even if she was HIV positive I WAS PROTECTED, RIGHT?!?!? Sorry about the rambling, I am not insisting nonsenselly  over a no risk incident, just clarirfying what my risk, if any, was... thanks!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2007, 09:00:06 PM »
Strag!

Like I said in my reply above, Ricky - though well meaning - is wrong here. My original advice to you stands. You don't need to test.

Seriously buddy, calm down.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2007, 09:49:54 PM »
Ricky, only those who are authorized to do so can respond to questions here. We're very careful about that. So you should not be answering inquiries here and making suggestions since you are not authorized to do so.

Your reply was absolutely inappropriate and needlessly alarmed the person who began th is thread.

Please make sure you follow our rules about this in the future.

Thanks for your cooperation.
Andy Velez

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2007, 09:52:23 PM »
Strago, I just want to chime in and support what Matty has said to you.

Professionals don't want to spend extra $ on more expensive condoms. They want latex that works and protects them. So you can confidently assume that the woman you were with was using latex. If you have any concern in the future then bring your own to the party. And use one everytime you have intercourse.

Condoms provide very effective protection against HIV transmission. You don't have any cause for concern about infection in relation to this incident and there's no need for testing. Really.

Take a breath and let it go.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2007, 12:08:11 AM »
Thank you so much Andy and Matt! I really appreciate your advice. I still got a few questions though:

Regarding slippage and breakage, these two would be very obvious right? I mean, I was not drinking and I distinctly remember pulling out with my condom on. Actually, she had to remove it, so that means it stayed on, right? Also, after removal, I held it and could see my "stuff" in its tip, so that also means it didn't break... right? I apologize for insisting, again it is probably the anxiety of a first timer. I know all people should get a STD done yearly, but I'm not "sexually active" and after this incident I think I'll just wait until I have the confidence of a steady relationship to continue having sex. For now, back to one-handed-mode lol.

But I want to verify that it was not a risky situation the one I had about a month ago, that the condom did protect me and that I don't need any testing. I hate going over the incident again and again, and I repeat to myself that if something like slippage or breakage had occurred I would have been PARANOID in that very moment... but I wasn't, so that it... right?? Thanks!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2007, 12:12:46 AM »
Strag,

Andy, myself and the other members who are permitted to answer questions in this forum read the posts here very carefully.

Believe me we've taken into account everything you've told us before we replied to you. You had protected sex and as such you don't have to be worried about contracting HIV infection.

Seriously mate, if I had any doubts about it, I'd tell you.

Really you're ok.

Regards,

MtD

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2007, 04:08:27 PM »
Thanks a lot people, so I can just finally forget this incident that has kept me anxious for over a month and continue my normal life?? No need to worry AT ALL, regardless of any "symptoms" and "feelings" that anxiety might cause??? In the end I know the answer but I would like a final, decisive and blatant confirmation to the fact that I SHOULD NOT WORRY... thank you people!!
« Last Edit: October 24, 2007, 04:14:35 PM by Stragoverdi »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2007, 04:37:42 PM »
You were never at risk. Yes, you can drop the issue and go on with your normal life.

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #14 on: October 25, 2007, 03:20:04 PM »
Thanks everybody for your responses, it has certainly relieved me to hear that. It is mostly anxiety over the incident. Here is my last question about it, since I have never seen a broken or slipped condom, it worries me to wonder that mine could have broken. I remember pulling out of her and seeing the tip full of my "substance". Then I was going to take it off when she said "allow me", and she took it off. I held it in my hand for a little while, contemplating it, and it still held the fluid in its tip. So:

1) a broken condom would not hold anything at its tip, right? it would be a mess, right??

2) Obviously if it had slipped it would have been IMPOSSIBLE to get back to its "original status" right?

Again, even to me these are remote "what ifs" but once cleared, I can finally let go of this problem. My worries about the actual manufacturing of the condom are gone (it's not realistic that she used a "novelty condom", plus there was nothing special about mine, a plain simple pink one, and it certainly was not Lambskin because I have bought one of those Naturalambs and they are 100% different to a regular condom!), and I think that if I had seen something like broken or slipped I would have noticed and really freak out that evening.

I didn't, other than regretting having taken the risk of being with this prostitute. I don't plan to test for HIV ever in my life because I have decided to have sex only when I get married; this anxiety over protected sex is proof that I am still not ready, so I want to confirm that if I don't have sex anymore until I am in a married, secure relationship, I was never at risk for HIV and don't need to test ever. It's nothing against sexually active people, I'm just not comfortable with this guilt and overthinking. Please answer and I promise I will not insist anymore on this matter.

I have to thank you all again for taking the trouble of helping people like me in these most anxious moments! You guys are GREAT!!
« Last Edit: October 25, 2007, 03:22:49 PM by Stragoverdi »

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2007, 10:27:33 AM »
Anybody??? Please clear this up for me, my mind is making me crazy with what-ifs... there is no way the condom could have slipped or broken without me noticing? Specially if I remember my liquid to be at its tip when I pulled out and handling it after she took it off, and nothing seemed out of order, right?? I am also worried about other std's, if Chlamydia, for example, was contracted, does that mean the condom failed without ME knowing?? or just that the transmission is far easier and even with a condom on can occur?? Thank you all SOOOO MUCH!

Offline Ann

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2007, 11:26:01 AM »
my mind is making me crazy with what-ifs...

Strag,

What-ifs are a dime a dozen. Forget about them. If the condom was broken, you'd know about it. Forget the slipping and sliding and breakage. The head of your penis was covered when you were inside and that's what counts.

Did you read the condom and lube links in my signature line? Even if you don't plan on ever having sex again, learn how to use condoms. After all, you're only human like the rest of us. Saying you'll never has sex again until marriage is an admirable quest, but easier said than done. Learn how to use condoms and USE them and you'll be fine.

You did NOT have a risk. If we though you may have, we'd tell you and tell you to test. You didn't have a risk and you don't need to test over this incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2007, 05:03:50 PM »
Thank you so much Ann! ;D your answer is as clear as water that I don't need to worry about this incident. It is, as I thought, my mind playing ugly tricks on me... especially after a month, where the "photographic memory" of the incident is beginning to be lost. I repeat to myself that if I didn't see anything special on the condom, such as the famous "Hula Hoop" I have read 2342934294 times in this forum, so I don't need to worry about breakage at all. RIGHT???

I'm sorry to insist, I am such a mess about this... is it true about the catastrophic shredding of condoms?? It's impossible for one to break without being obvious, right??? Please be as detailed about condom breakage as you can be, so I don't keep formulating far-fetched scenarios in my head! Now, one thing I'm thinking is that if I saw the condom breaking that day I would have been SO FREAKED out (even more than today) so I don't think that's the chance. I saw what I saw: condom on when I pulled out, then she removed it and I held it for a few seconds, and it seemed intact to me with my fluid filling its tip... so that doesn't admit any breakage, right??

Thanks for everything! You guys are GREAT!

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2007, 06:04:21 PM »
Excuse me for posting again... I am just very nervous about a sore throat I've been having for a while, it was hardly noticeable and these days it's been getting worse. It's been now more than a month since my only incident, and again, like previously stated, I did not ever notice my condom to be broken or slipped, I saw the semen in the tip... however, these stupid symptoms have been happening and I can't help but link them to the recent exposure.

Of course, my sister and my father had a quite strong episode of cough, fever and sore throat this week, but mine started way before theirs, and did not evolve to cough or anything else. Before you remind me that symptoms are NOT to be discussed, I just want to focus on the obviousness of condom breakage and slippage, since this is what has been worrying me since the beginning, that something could have happened without me knowing it. I remember that the prostitute had to take the condom off, and I remember holding it by myself after she removed it, with semen at the tip, so if my urethra was ever exposed this could not have happened, right???... I keep thinking that if the condom did not break, then that I used the wrong kind of condom!! I know for sure it was not Lambskin, but nevertheless I worry!! This is the only exposure I've had, and I thought everything was protected, but now I don't know anything for sure...

I read the transmission lesson about symptoms and they say "so mild to be even noticeable", and that's what I'm afraid of, that this throat "discomfort" i've been feeling the past two weeks is me seroconverting. Again, I repeat "you used a condom, you were never at risk", but doubt assaults me every day with more scenarios and what if's...

Ann, I really thank you for the answer you gave me before, and I wish I could just swallow that like a pill and make everything better. I will, though, if you or any of the GREAT EXPERTS here would clarify about condom breakage... being that I SAW MY OWN sEMEN AT THE TIP OF THE CONDOM AFTER PENETRATION it's impossible for it to have broken without me knowing, right? Specially after handling it with my own fingers and seeming intact. A condom that was broken would not look so "intact" for me to overlook it, right?

Again I apologize for any problem that I might cause with my questions, I just need clarification about condom breakage so I can put this to rest... thanks!
« Last Edit: October 27, 2007, 06:15:41 PM by Stragoverdi »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2007, 06:18:53 PM »
A condom failure? You would have known, it's not a subtle event. Slipping, other than slipping off the head of your penis you were never at risk.

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #20 on: October 27, 2007, 06:26:12 PM »
Thank you so much Rapid, you don't know how much this means to me... and of course, regarding the fact that "I used the wrong kind of condom" it's just my mind playing games, right?? I mean I remember the condom and it was pink, with a tip at the end, nothing special about it that would make me think it would be different thank plain, old Latex... I actually went and got one of those Naturalambs just to erase the thought from my mind, and they SURE are 100% different.

No breakage, no slippage (for it to slip from the tip of my penis it would have meant that she would have had to remove it and my penis would have been uncovered, right??) means it was used correctly?? It's just that this stupid sore throat hits me just when I'm worried about HIV and such things, and makes my mind go CRAZY!! You can be as blatant and definitive in your answer as you possibly can, so I won't have anything else to ask, hahaha... I love you people! ::)

(I just not want to feel that I'm "ignoring" my symptoms and that I have had a risk, you know??)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2007, 10:17:45 PM »
All of those what ifs and other frabber jabber don't matter a bit.

Take some good deep breaths and let this unfounded worry go. Even if you have a sore throat. It has nothing to do with HIV. Really. And if your throat stays sore talk to your doctor about it.
Andy Velez

Offline Stragoverdi

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2007, 05:16:39 PM »
THANKS SO MUCH GUYS!! Really, you have been the only help I've had while having these enormous doubts. All my friends and relatives are in my country (Venezuela) and I live here by myself with my parents and my sister, and have been really homesick lately, so perhaps the anxiety opened the door to many other worries and discontents. Since we have cleared out all of the "possible" ways for me to get infected I should not worry anymore, right? So I will continue my life as it was...

Now, this is my LAST question and it regards condom slippage, a term that I am not familiar with... for a condom slippage to be risky it has to leave my penis COMPLETELY right? Leaving the urethra exposed, and meaning that I or the lady would have had to pick it up from her vagina or the floor or whatever. Again, I totally know this is my mind playing tricks on me, as I am sure I would have remembered such serious event as pulling out of her without my condom on, but I need this final clarification to abandon this nonsense matter... hopefully!!
« Last Edit: October 28, 2007, 05:43:23 PM by Stragoverdi »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Lost virginity with prostitute! HELP!
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2007, 07:02:19 PM »
That's about says it all. You're condom will not slip off and slip back on. You were never at risk.

 


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