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Author Topic: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)  (Read 9670 times)

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Offline praguer56

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Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« on: October 23, 2007, 01:40:46 PM »
I have been in a monogamous relationship for the last 8 months.  Prior to that I did foolish things.  Ok - two weeks ago I had a discharge from my penis.  I went to the doctor and was told it was gonohhrea.  I took antibiotics for a week and tested negative.  The doctor however asked when my HIV test was and suggested I take another.  I'm scared now.  Can or is gonohhrea (or any STD) a sympton of HIV infection?  Why would I get gonohhrea after 8 months?  This is totally strange for me and scaring me!!  Your replies are most appreciated!! 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: gonohhrea and HIV
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2007, 01:57:49 PM »
Gonorrhea or other STDs is not a symptom of HIV. Having Gonorrhea can increase your risk as to contracting HIV, but it is not a symptom of HIV.

Online Ann

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Re: gonohhrea and HIV
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2007, 02:06:02 PM »
prague,

Are you sure the monogamy in your relationship is working both ways?

If you've been having unprotected intercourse with anyone whose hiv status you can't be 100% sure of, then you need to test for hiv. A negative result three months after your last incident of unprotected intercourse will be conclusive.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline praguer56

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Re: gonohhrea and HIV
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2007, 02:09:55 PM »
My BF SWEARS he's been 100% faithful and went for a full round of tests.  We'll both know more on Friday.  Thanks for your replies.

Online Ann

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Re: gonohhrea and HIV
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2007, 08:58:32 AM »
Prague,

I deleted the question you posted in someone else's thread. I need you to read and abide by the posting guidelines in our Welcome Thread.

If you have questions, ask them in your own thread and your own thread only.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline praguer56

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Re: gonohhrea and HIV
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2007, 09:01:49 AM »
Sorry Ann.  I thought it was related to that thread.   So the question was, can giving a bj and having a canker sore increase risk significantly?  There was no exchange of any fluids and time was very limited.

Online Ann

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Re: gonohhrea and HIV
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2007, 09:19:04 AM »
Prague,

Under your specific circumstances, no.

You need to know that you're much more likely to have gotten gonorrhea from giving (or getting) a blowjob than hiv. MUCH more likely.

If you and your bf consider each other monogamous but engage in oral with others, then that could be where your gono has come from. I'd suggest you both also have your throats swabbed for gono.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline praguer56

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Andy was this risky?
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2008, 03:26:49 AM »
Two months ago I went for a massage.  The guy did a great job but went too far.  While on my stomach he fingered me deeply massage my prostate - which i didn't complain about.  When I rolled over however I laid back and closed my eyes and he did my chest and arms.  Then he climbed on me and sat condomless on me.  I immediately pushed him off but he was bigger than me so it took at least a minute.  Nothing more happened.  I left.  I had the flu twice and experiencing light night sweats - something unusual for me.  What's up? Am I worrying too much?  Thanks for your answer!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Andy was this risky?
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2008, 03:35:01 AM »
Please keep all your additional thoughts, questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us to follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you can't find you original thread click on the red link I've provided above. Alternatively you can click on the "show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.

Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

MtD



Offline anniebc

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Re: Andy was this risky?
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2008, 03:48:45 AM »
Praguer


I have merged your posts, please keep all your question in this thread from now on..please read the Welcome Thread and follow the lessons on how HIV is and is not transmitted.

Massage and fingering is not a risk for HIV.

Jan

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline praguer56

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Re: Andy was this risky?
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2008, 09:31:33 AM »
Jan, Thanks and apologies for not keeping things together!  The massage with fingering was not the part that scared me.  What bothers me is that he sat on my penis without putting a condom on me first.  I immediately pushed him off but still....  is there risk associated with this?
« Last Edit: March 16, 2008, 09:36:20 AM by praguer56 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy was this risky?
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2008, 10:15:46 AM »
Yes, there was a risk albeit a very low level one. What you apparently had from your description was very brief anal intercourse. As a precaution I suggest you get tested at 13 weeks past the most recent such incident.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's more difficult to accomplish to the insertive partner (you), but low level risk is not the same thing as no risk. Which is why I suggest getting tested.

The symptoms you are reporting are not in any way HIV specific. Symptoms are in any case never the way to know anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test taken at the right time can give you that answer.

Given what you have described I certainly expect you will test negative.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2009, 09:54:33 AM »
Last week it happened while in a sauna.  We were just playing around - mutual masturbation was all I was looking for when the guy just sits on me. He was holding my shoulders as I struggled to get free.  I did break free but he managed to go up and down a few times.  I immediately took a shower and left (and wiped my penis with Purell if that might help).  It's been a week and I'm going to get STD tests today.  My doc was away for Christmas.  He told me that's the best to do now and to wait 2 months for the syphilis and HIV tests. 

What are your thoughts on this?  From what I'm reading in other posts, I'm at risk but much lower as I was insertive. 

Online Ann

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2009, 10:28:33 AM »
Prag,



I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. You've been told this previously, so please get with the program! It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





You're correct - you are unlikely to end up hiv positive following this brief, one-time insertive incident.

The earliest you can test for peace of mind is six weeks, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

Syphilis shares a three month window period with hiv for a conclusive negative result, but can also be tested for earlier - testing at six weeks when you test for hiv would be a good idea. If both come back negative, both should be confirmed at the three month point.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2009, 10:32:28 AM »
Thanks for the encouragement, Ann!  I'll try to stay calm and optimistic.

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2009, 04:07:36 AM »
Went to the doc yesterday and he wants me tested now - one week after.  Shouldn't it be at 6 weeks?  What's your thoughts on this?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2009, 07:15:41 AM »
He's wanting a base line that has nothing to do with a recent exposure.

Online Ann

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2009, 08:20:32 AM »
Prag,

I agree with Rod - your doctor just wants to know if you were hiv positive BEFORE this incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #18 on: December 30, 2009, 08:39:07 AM »
Makes sense. 

I wrote asking him about it and he said "it is better for assesment of the stage of infection.  if antibodies occur it is useful for treatment if it is necessary."  

I guess I'll go take care of it.  
Thanks again.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2009, 08:41:48 AM by praguer56 »

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #19 on: February 06, 2010, 04:19:32 AM »
Hello again everyone.  I guess I'm being paranoid but I went to a massage yesterday to someone advertising Tantric massage.  It's something I wanted to try so I went.  The guy was naked, which didn't bother me as what I read both people are usually naked. 

The massage started off fairly normal but he spent more time on my butt and in particular fingering me slightly.  He asked about a prostate massage and whether I'd ever had one. I said no so he proceeded to go deeper.  At one point however he put his penis in between my legs and I told him no.  He said he was only rubbing there and had no intention of barebacking me.  The massage was incredible to say the least.  I rolled over and he continued while I masturbated.

What was strange is that as I ejaculated he went down on me and secondly he didn't want to take money from me. 

I drove him (about 20 minutes) and immediately douched and cleaned myself out.  I got scared wondering if he might have cum in his hand and rubbed it into me as he massaged me.  I know I'm probably way out on another planet but what if he did?  Can a virus live outside for a short period time?

Online Ann

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #20 on: February 06, 2010, 05:23:37 AM »
Prag,

Yes, you're being paranoid. Frottage (when he rubbed his penis on you) is not a risk for hiv infection. Being fingered, even with cum on the finger, is also not a risk for hiv infection.

Once hiv finds itself outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2010, 03:51:31 AM »
Hello again.  It's been 12 weeks and I plan to go back for another test.  I've had a cold with loose bowels for a few weeks and it's scared me although there's also a stomach flu bug going around. 

Following up on my original post/question I wonder, even though brief, if this guy I quickly topped had cum inside of him from someone else, does that increase the possibility of transmission?

Thanks again for your time and support.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2010, 08:56:03 AM »
None of the symptoms you are reporting now are in anyway HIV specific. I expect your test result to be negative.
Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Protected sex but not sure about the condom
« Reply #23 on: August 30, 2011, 02:02:20 PM »
I had sex with a guy I met online about 4 weeks ago.  He was rather large and used a large size condom. He came inside of me but because of my position I didn't see the condom when he removed it.  He went to the bathroom and flushed it.  I didn't have any semen inside of me that I know of - at least there was no leakage nor could I feel any with my fingers.  But now 4 weeks later I have flu like symptoms, headaches and fatigue but no fever and no swelling in the neck area, arm pits etc.  So I'm wondering if this is just coincidental (in my head) or what.  Any thoughts?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #24 on: August 30, 2011, 02:21:46 PM »
This is in the domain of what ifs and worrying. A condom was used for intercourse which is exactly what you are supposed to do. Nothing you are reporting suggests to me that anything unsafe occured.

There is nothing HIV specific about your symptoms. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

I don't see this as an HIV situation nor any need for HIV testing.

Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the receptive partner)
« Reply #25 on: December 18, 2011, 09:42:37 AM »
Hello everyone.  Just wondering about the following scenario.  I was with someone last night and we had sex (I was receptive partner).  It started out fine, condom in place because I put it there.  I was backwards so could not see things and after a brief pause he went back in.  For some reason I reached back and realized the condom was off.  I immediately got off of him.  Now there were maybe three or four strokes but that was it.  He said he was healthy and apologized for being stupid. 

One thing I noticed was that he had absolutely no pre cum during the entire evening together.  So my question is just how dangerous was that 30 seconds?  We ended up masturbating to climax.

Thanks for the input.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #26 on: December 18, 2011, 11:01:05 AM »
The risk was low but unprotected anal is definitely a risk.

Hey! What's with you? How come you are repeatedly putting your health and life at risk? You are responsible for your health and for practicing safer sex.

You need to test again at 13 weeks. The risk was low but it would be wise to test just to confirm your negative status.

Make it clear to any partners you have that you will not have intercourse without a condon, whether inserting or receiving.
Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #27 on: December 18, 2011, 01:27:32 PM »
Hey Andy and thanks for (1) some relatively good news and (2) for slapping me.  I know the dangers and sometimes too nervous to even have sex but I knew this guy - we went out a few times and this was the first time we had sex.  I'm confident he's healthy but still... the worry is always there. 

Thanks again.....

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #28 on: December 18, 2011, 02:46:34 PM »
Whatever you do sexually with someone should always be based on the presumption they are HIV positive and act accordingly for your health safety. No exceptions.
Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Receptive anal sex possible condom break
« Reply #29 on: July 12, 2012, 07:36:32 AM »
I was having sex last night with a very average size guy and he wore a condom with lots of lube.  When we finished I took the condom off of him and noticed that there wasn't much there (in the condom).  I went to the shower and douched and noticed a string of what looked like semen came out.  It floated in the tub and I could actually pick it up. it had a real thickness to it and didn't breakdown like semen usually breaks down in water.  I have no idea what it was.  The condom didn't look like it had any breaks or tears so I'm not sure what that was.  I mentioned it to the guy and he didnt think the condom broke and assured me that he is negative and tested so three weeks ago. I'm still a bit nervous and I guess paranoid.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #30 on: July 12, 2012, 07:48:21 AM »
Prauger, you've been coming here long enough to be familiar with our rule as stated in the opening thread of this section. Members are to always write only in the same thread. All of your entries including your most recent one are in this thread and this is where you should be writing.

As to your latest concern, if the condom had broken you would undoubtedly have known it. A failed condom is not about itty bitty little holes as people sometimes fear. When it fails the whole thing goes and ends up looking like a hoop with fringe on the penis.

I can't guess what that other substance may have been but the condom did not fail. I don't see any cause for further concern nor for testing on your part. You had protected anal which is just what you are supposed to be doing.
Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #31 on: July 12, 2012, 09:08:41 AM »
Thanks Andy and apologies for the misstep on the post. I can't figure that out but I'll try to be better,

Thanks for the assuring comment.  I did hold the condom and squeeze it /pinched it with my finger and thumb from top to bottom and didn't see any hole or tear so was a bit shocked to see something come out when I washed. 

All e best and keep up e good work.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #32 on: July 12, 2012, 09:27:59 AM »
OK. I don't see a cause for HIV concern.

On with your life...
Andy Velez

Offline praguer56

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #33 on: July 13, 2012, 02:22:36 PM »
Andy, I'm curious about something.  Can semen creep out of a condom if the person continues thrusting after ejaculating?  I mean, even though it's on and snug, can semen creep over the base edge?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Unprotected anal (I was the insertive partner)
« Reply #34 on: July 13, 2012, 07:16:22 PM »
Andy, I'm curious about something.  Can semen creep out of a condom if the person continues thrusting after ejaculating?  I mean, even though it's on and snug, can semen creep over the base edge?

No.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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