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Author Topic: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???  (Read 7068 times)

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Offline toothpick411

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Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« on: July 08, 2006, 02:53:02 AM »
     Hi guys, first of all I want ot thank all of you for all the hard work you do. You're all truly marvelous. Now onto my question, I gave a man a blowjob and we had protected anal sex (I was the receiver), but recently the blow job has started to worry me and I was wondering if I should get tested over this one incident? I know oral is very low risk for HIV, but I just can't get over my fears of having caught it somehow. I haven't been with another guy for years and so this experience is really freaking me out because I feel like it's all so new again.
    I've had a history of bleeding gums/canker sores and every other mouth problem I guess you can say, and although I can't say for certain whether I had any oral problems at the time, I know I can't really recall having anything noticeable until AFTER it happened. Except for the fact that I poked myself really hard with a toothpick on the inside of my lip while I was eating a sandwhich earlier that day, but I didn't notice any blood. Then my mind keeps thinking, what if the toothpick caused a small microscopic cut? And what if I DID have oral problems and didn't notice it? He didn't ejaculate in my mouth or anything, so I guess it's the dreaded precum that's worrying me. What should I do? Should I get tested, or should I let this go and get back to my normal life again?  I guess to put it in more simple terms, should I get tested after having given a guy a blowjob while being uncertain about possible cuts I had in my mouth, given my oral health history?  Thanks for your help everyone!
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 02:55:14 AM by toothpick411 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested? The tiny, annoying details always get to me!
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2006, 05:23:18 AM »
toothpick411,

Can I ask why you are using different usernames while posting to our forums? Thus far, you have also used boeing767

Please realize that this kind of activity is disrespectful of other forum members, as well as our moderators. People spend a considerable amount of time helping others in these forums. Using multiple accounts is at the very least annoying, if not deceiving and disrespectful of others. It is also against our Terms of Membership which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.

I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline toothpick411

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Re: Should I get tested? The tiny, annoying details always get to me!
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2006, 06:05:58 AM »
I'm sorry but I felt that I needed to repost and I forgot the passphrase to my other account and I disabled the email address I used a week ago so I didn't know what to do. I guess I'm just crazy, you know, the mind playing tricks on me. I didn't mean to be disrespectful or deceiving, I just didn't know what else to do. I know the answers won't change, I just neeeded to see it. I won't bother anymore. Thank you.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested? The tiny, annoying details always get to me!
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2006, 07:13:03 AM »
toothpick,

Write your details down this time, keep your email account active and use this account only, and we'll have no more problems.

Whether you test or not over this specific, low risk incident is up to you. As you were told in your other thread, anyone who is sexually active should be having regular, routine tests and if you aren't already doing so, now is the time to start. As long as you are using condoms for intercourse, you can fully expect your hiv tests to return negative results.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline toothpick411

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I bled today
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2006, 10:56:15 PM »
hi everyone, i haven't been on for a couple months, and i'm not sure if i should go back to my old posts (or how to do it) since i have a new incident and a new question, so sorry if im doing something wrong. but here is my situation: i'm gay and i got out of a long-term relationship with my very first b/f not too long ago. recently, ive been curious about exlporing sex with other men, and i met a guy and we had sex today. i was the receptive partner (bottom) and while we DID use a condom, i noticed after the fact that i bled a bit. i did run some water into the condom to see if there were any holes because he was in me when he came, but there weren't any (at least i hope not). am i at risk? i know the answer may be self-explanatory but my head keeps going nuts because of the presence of blood. i guess i just need somebody else to spell it out for me in plain english. thanks.

another thingg too- i have ocd tendencies, so i have a constant debate w/ myself about whether or not i should have sex. the thing is, i WANT a sexual life, but i freak out too easily about little things (cuts on fingers, on the lips, etc) and i end up regretting everything i do. what advice could you give me? will i really be ok as long as i use condoms properly? Thank you all so much!

Offline Ann

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Re: I bled today
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2006, 11:36:54 PM »
toothpick,

Your other account is boeing767. As I assume you've lost your log in details, you may as well stick with this account. HOWEVER, having multiple accounts is against the Terms of Membership you agreed to when you created your account(s), so write your log in details down this time and keep them safe for future use. Do NOT create a third account as this may cause you to lose the ability to post here.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

You used a condom and there should be no problem. I do not consider this an hiv concern - even though you bled - as a condom will prevent hiv transmission. You might want to read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

As for your anxieties surrounding sex, the best thing you could do for yourself is to get some counseling. Your local GLBT organisation should be able to point you in the direction of a gay friendly counselor and may even have one in their employ. If that is not an issue, you can also have your doctor refer you for counseling. Sex is a normal part of a healthy life, so please do get help sorting your feelings out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline toothpick411

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Re: I bled today
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2006, 11:52:51 PM »
Hi Ann,

  Thank you for your response. As for the boeing login, I did forget my password a while ago, but last time I posted you told me that you had locked it since I had created this one and to use this one instead.

Regarding my situation, that's what I was thinking. I know that I can't freak out over things each time I have sex, but I guess I was just used to living with the comfort of monogamy. Either way, I think I will seek counseling and I will make sure to ALWAYS use protection and get regular check ups. I also have faith in your words "use condoms and avoid hiv infection. it's that simple" They really do mean a lot to me, and I'm sure everyone else on this forum. Thank you once again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I bled today
« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2006, 08:19:35 AM »
411, you have a very healthy attitude about getting back out into the world again after the breakup of your relationship. It's great that you are committed to using condoms consistently. WAY TO GO!

That bleeding is a perfectly common occurence, depending on the size of the insertive partner and other factors. Which is why condoms are so important because having the guy wear one of those protects you in exactly that kind of situation.

Good luck with sorting things out as you get on with your life.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline toothpick411

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Re: I bled today
« Reply #8 on: November 04, 2006, 04:14:03 PM »
Thanks Andy, I really appreciate your words. After the breakup, I made buying condoms and stuff a fun experience for myself to try to mitigate the stress, and it seems to have worked. Now I just have to learn to deal with my feelings after any sexual episodes. But either way, thank for your reassurance, and I know that even though there may have been some bleeding, I used a condom so I feel secure now. Thanks again!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I bled today
« Reply #9 on: November 04, 2006, 04:33:03 PM »
I'm glad you found the exchange helpful. Take whatever your time you need as you move on past your breakup experience to whatever is coming along next.

Easy does it......

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline toothpick411

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Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2008, 02:28:18 AM »
Hi all. I recently performed oral sex on a man and while I had no cuts, sores, etc while I was doing it and he did not ejaculate in my mouth, when I walked home after, I noticed that my lower lip was bleeding right in the middle. My lips were very dry as I was walking so I think that when I stretched them the skin in the middle must have torn or something. All I could think is what if some of his precum was still in my mouth and what if I licked my lips and somehow got some precum on the bleeding area? I hope this makes sense. Do any of you think I should be worried about hiv? Thanks so much everyone.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2008, 03:36:05 AM »
Please keep all your additional thoughts, questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us to follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you can't find you original thread click on the red link I've provided above. Alternatively you can click on the "show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.

Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2008, 06:40:18 AM »
pick,

I've merged all your threads - except the one you had with the other account. How many times do you have to be asked to READ the Welcome Thread and abide by our posting guidelines? Get with the program or be banned. It's as simple as that. This is your last chance.

And how many times are you going to ask us the same questions? Re-read both this entire thread and your thread under the Boeing account - the link to that thread is in two of the above posts.

If you're worried about your hiv status, go test. As a sexually active adult, you should be doing this at least once a year anyway. However, you don't need to test over this specific incident.

Saliva contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline toothpick411

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2008, 11:25:17 AM »
My apologies- I thought that since this was a new incident, it was ok to start a new thread. I thought the rules applied to another question/concern regarding the same incident. I am very sorry and I stand corrected.

Anyway, thank you for the reply. I just needed to hear it from an expert.

Offline toothpick411

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Rubbing without a condom? Please help!
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2008, 10:54:36 PM »
Hi everyone- so here's a new incident. Yesterday I performed oral sex on a man while he wore a condom. He also rubbed his penis in between my thighs, on my perineum, and against the opening to my anus. I had shaven the area about two hours prior and had small abrasions that bled a bit. This wouldn't worry me except that the while he rubbed against me, the condom slipped off twice and I don't know how long he was rubbing on me without it. There was no anal penetration, no ejaculation and I don't know of any precum. But I'm now worried that some of his precum might have come into contact with the abrasions. I was not visibly bleeding by the time I had this encounter.

Also, after the fact, I looked at the condom packaging and the expiration date was smudged from all the lube but I thought I read that it might have been sometime in 2003. I can't say for certain. I know I should never use expired condoms, but it did not break when he rubbed up on me (it just slipped off those two times I mentioned.)

Do you all think any of this was a risk? Thank you!

Offline Bucko

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2008, 01:51:26 AM »
TP-

We've been through this more than a few times now, and the answer never varies:

HIV is contracted by having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Use a condom and water-soluble lube when engaging in these activities outside of a long-term, mutually-monogamous relationship and you should be good to go.

What you describe has a name: it's frottage and is considered perfectly safe. No condom was ever required as there was no penetrative (ie: anal or vaginal) sex.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2008, 08:58:24 AM »
Are you really reading what is written to you? I ask that because you have come back here again each time with the same kind of question and concern that's already been answered.

The knowledge you receive is transferrable from one situation to another. It seems that your anxiety over the latest situation overtakes your ability to remember oh yes, they told me that is not a risk, etc.

Presumably you're going to be having sex for a long time to come. You need to be able to think this stuff through while keeping in mind that sexually the only real risk for HIV transmission is unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline toothpick411

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2008, 03:22:13 PM »
Thank you Bucko and Andy. Yes you are right, anxiety really does get the best from me. After a really bad scare a couple yrs ago, I've had that type of fatalistic personality that just holds on to the what-ifs and assumes the worst.

In terms of my incident, I was only worried because of the fact that some of his fluids might have come into contact with the two-hour old tears in my skin around the thigh/anal area...so of course my mind plays this out as the next thing closest to penetration, thus creating a real risk.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2008, 04:34:36 PM »
Tell your  mind to give it a rest. You did not have a risk. Period. And such thoughts recur, just notice them, breathe and move on to the next thing in your life. Thoughts and feelings are not facts. The facts of the situation point to NO RISK.
Andy Velez

Offline toothpick411

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2008, 04:42:48 PM »
Thank you Andy. I will remember your words. Promise!

Offline Bucko

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Re: I bled today
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2008, 04:44:20 PM »


another thingg too- i have ocd tendencies, so i have a constant debate w/ myself about whether or not i should have sex

TP-

FWIW, have you ever received treatment for the OCD? The right therapy can change your life and free you from these groundless and irrational fears, you know.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline toothpick411

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2008, 08:36:09 PM »
I haven't actually, but I think I will. Just last month I almost sickened myself to death with worry about possibly having cancer. I'm actually glad this forum exists in this format, it helps to see how irrational my thouhts can be at times when looking back at my previous posts. Seeing someone is defintely a next step. Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2008, 08:41:57 PM »
That's a good plan. And tell your truth as simply and directly as you can. Don't hold back. Doing that will  increase the likelihood that you will get the most out of the situation.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

Offline Bucko

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2008, 12:49:11 AM »
I haven't actually, but I think I will. Just last month I almost sickened myself to death with worry about possibly having cancer. I'm actually glad this forum exists in this format, it helps to see how irrational my thouhts can be at times when looking back at my previous posts. Seeing someone is defintely a next step. Thanks.

Best of luck, TP.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline toothpick411

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #24 on: March 16, 2009, 07:36:41 PM »
Hi all,

I'm back. But this time not to ask a question, but to show how I've been helped by you and to thank you.

Just as a bit of background: I'm very conscious about plaque buildup in my teeth/gums so I use a plaque scraper on some mornings and nights to keep the area clean. One particular day about 2 months ago, my gums happened to bleed after doing it, and a few hours later I performed oral sex on a man, with no ejaculation in the mouth. I cleaned myself again with the scraper a few hours later that night and bled again. Not too long after, I started freaking out. I went through all the stages and questions: what if some precum got in the area I had bled in, and I got HIV? etc. I was in between insurances so I could not see a therapist, so naturally I wanted to post again in this forum.

I came here, I read through my previous posts, really thought about what all you fine people have told me throughout the years, and guess what? I stopped being anxious, and I'm not worried. I know that I am ok, and that no testing is needed for this particular incident. I always practice safe anal sex and get tested regularly, and I keep this in the back of my mind whenever I have an irrational fear. I randomly thought about the forum today and I figured I would come on to thank you since I truly believe that this forum has played a part in enabling me to get to this point.

My apologies if this is not the proper place to express my gratitude as I am extending this old post, but I thought it would be good for everyone to see the history of all my questions. Questions which, like Ann and Andy said, basically asked the same thing- only to have the same answer. It's difficult, but thank you for putting up with us worry-wells and educating us. It makes a world of difference :)
« Last Edit: March 16, 2009, 07:40:42 PM by toothpick411 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Transmission risk from oral sex and bleeding lip???
« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2009, 07:58:10 PM »
Hi,

It's good to know you've been able to apply the previous exchanges and experience to your life ongoing.

I'm glad you have found what we've said to be a helpful tool for you.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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