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Author Topic: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"  (Read 20626 times)

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Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #100 on: October 15, 2007, 02:42:12 PM »
Akasha....stopping in for a sec....I'm leaving my office now, early, just for you. I'll be online tonight with a response. I'm picking up a bottle of wine at the winery.

Yep, I am bumping this back up because I would like an answer please. You can start another thread on writing some books but can't even give me an answer to why you treat women the way you do. Sounds to me like you can't finish what you started.....And I would like to have some closure.

It's funny to me in your other thread, you go on to insult people by saying most will not understand what you write in your books but I am trying to understand why you treat women the way you do. So how about giving me an answer Sun? You can go buy some wine for courage but I would still like an answer....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline woodshere

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #101 on: October 15, 2007, 03:07:45 PM »
Some things are unexplainable, even with a summons to appear from THE QUEEN.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #102 on: October 15, 2007, 06:41:32 PM »
You just may be right, Woodsy....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #103 on: October 15, 2007, 09:42:28 PM »
Queen, you've made it clear more than once that you're out of sorts with that fella. He's apparently choosing not to respond. That's kinda an answer of a kind.

I suggest you let it be. Your position and opinion are duly noted.
Andy Velez

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #104 on: October 15, 2007, 09:43:48 PM »
I guess you are right, Andy....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Suntropic98

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #105 on: October 18, 2007, 02:47:42 PM »
I've been ill. Today is the first day I've been online in awhile. I've missed 3 days of work, I can't shake this fever, I sweat like crazy and then I can't seem to get warm. So far today I've soaked 5 shirts, I get a fever thats so bad my teeth chatter. Its been a long time since I've been this sick. I'm pissed that russian whore gave me this. I can't think of any other way I could have caught something like this. I feel like I'm dying. All I've done is drink fluids, take anti-biotics, Motrin and tylenol. I can't even eat solid food. My right ear hurts, my throat feels like it's about to shut, my inner thighs ache and my jaw feels like I got knocked the f*ck out. I can't think straight and my house is a mess. Jennifer is coming over tonight to clean for me, last night she made me homemade french onion soup. My face is greasy like michael jackson's hair from the 80s, I could be a poster child for a jericurl ad.

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #106 on: October 18, 2007, 03:12:07 PM »
Sun,

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Please see your doctor.


I'm pissed that russian whore gave me this. I can't think of any other way I could have caught something like this.

I'm also sorry to hear that you still can't seem to stop yourself when posting on this forum from using denigrating language to describe the women in your life. This is the absolute last warning you will get about this - call one more woman a whore and you're on a time out. In fact, after I speak with the other moderators, you might have earned yourself a time out this time. We're not going to tolerate misogynistic language on this forum any more than we will tolerate homophobic or racist language. You're on pretty thin ice, mister.

Ann

edited because I can't spell when I'm angry
« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 03:15:16 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline woodshere

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #107 on: October 18, 2007, 03:16:27 PM »
I guess the "blowjob ninja" wasn't all she was cracked up to be, huh???
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #108 on: October 18, 2007, 03:45:48 PM »
Sun,

After conferring with the other moderators, we've decided to give you that time out. It seems to be the only way you'll learn that we will not allow misogynistic language on this forum.


As this is your first time out, it will be for seven days. Make sure you read the Time Out information in the Welcome Thread

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #109 on: October 18, 2007, 09:23:50 PM »
Ann,

I was tempted to post to this thread after seeing Sun's latest post but was asked by someone who I truly love and respect to just let it go. I must say that I don't think the 7 day time out will change his views on women.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #110 on: October 18, 2007, 10:13:27 PM »
Wood, that gloating Ninja comment is something not needed.

Sun will be back after his out. So no potstirring, please.

He's gotten himself on to way thin enough ice very quickly. As tempting as it maybe to respond to the provocative things he says, he  and doesn't need any further "encouragement" in that direction.

Thanks for your cooperation.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 10:16:12 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline woodshere

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #111 on: October 18, 2007, 10:28:22 PM »
So noted.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Suntropic98

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #112 on: October 29, 2007, 02:07:52 PM »
So I'm back from my TO...... ::)

Woody boy has been warned more times in this thread than I have, no TO for him? C'mon Andy. I would ask Ann but I'd rather avoid her, nothing good will come out of us conversing. Double standard?

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #113 on: October 29, 2007, 04:11:00 PM »
So I'm back from my TO...... ::)

Woody boy has been warned more times in this thread than I have, no TO for him? C'mon Andy. I would ask Ann but I'd rather avoid her, nothing good will come out of us conversing. Double standard?

Yep, you're back and still in rare form I see. It just goes to show that your time out hasn't taught you anything. But then that doesn't come as a surprise to me. I don't know how old you are but you act so juvenile, why are you worried about Woodsy? You ought to mind your own business. Last I knew, you were not a moderator, so quit trying to do a moderator's job.

I don't know what your issue is with Ann other than me assuming she must've been the one who issued you your time out or could it be you have a problem with women in authority? So now you want to call on Andy. What, do you think he is going to overlook your baiting and being disrespectful? Guess again, kid. But you could always do me a favor and keep it up so we won't have to see you for 30 days or better yet why not work on getting banned from here. Trust me, you won't be missed!!!!!!!!
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Suntropic98

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #114 on: October 29, 2007, 04:24:40 PM »
Yep, you're back and still in rare form I see. It just goes to show that your time out hasn't taught you anything. But then that doesn't come as a surprise to me. I don't know how old you are but you act so juvenile, why are you worried about Woodsy? You ought to mind your own business. Last I knew, you were not a moderator, so quit trying to do a moderator's job.

I don't know what your issue is with Ann other than me assuming she must've been the one who issued you your time out or could it be you have a problem with women in authority? So now you want to call on Andy. What, do you think he is going to overlook your baiting and being disrespectful? Guess again, kid. But you could always do me a favor and keep it up so we won't have to see you for 30 days or better yet why not work on getting banned from here. Trust me, you won't be missed!!!!!!!!


Last time I checked you werent a role model member of aidsmeds.com yourself. My words may be more controversial but your posts are just as juevenile as mine and if anything less entertaining. You personally bait me into an all out flame war (as well as woody boy ) in hopes of getting me banned. I might have been born on a day but it was not yesterday. I've answered your question in the other forum, now bring it or rtfo.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #115 on: October 29, 2007, 04:40:54 PM »
Queen and Sun, you two need to call a halt right now. You don't have to like each other. But you can't attack and snipe each other here.

If you cannot engage in conversation that sticks to issues then just don't talk to each other. This flaming has to stop right here and now.

Consider yourselves warned. Both of you. And Sun, I'm just wondering if you learned anything from having been given a Time Out. Does it matter so little to you that you come back and immediately become embroiled in this kind of fracas again. If you feel someone is baiting you then you need to NOT engage and instead report it to the moderators.

Andy Velez

Offline anniebc

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #116 on: October 29, 2007, 04:46:50 PM »
First of all Suntopic I doubt many here find any of your threads "entertaining", and if you think you have found a way of avoiding any of the Moderators you are sadly mistaken..like you we were not born yesterday.

If you insist on keeping this going then you will be TO'd again...if you want to stay and give your support then please do...but please remember these forums are not just about you...show a little more respect to the menbers here and things will be fine.

I'm giving you a warning..please take note of it.

Queenie please stay out of this.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Suntropic98

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #117 on: October 29, 2007, 04:54:45 PM »
Queen and Sun, you two need to call a halt right now. You don't have to like each other. But you can't attack and snipe each other here.

If you cannot engage in conversation that sticks to issues then just don't talk to each other. This flaming has to stop right here and now.

Consider yourselves warned. Both of you. And Sun, I'm just wondering if you learned anything from having been given a Time Out. Does it matter so little to you that you come back and immediately become embroiled in this kind of fracas again. If you feel someone is baiting you then you need to NOT engage and instead report it to the moderators.



Hey Andy.

If you want my opinion on my TO I think it was unjustified. I attacked nobody and to my knowledge I violated no TOS agreement. To put it simple it was given to me by a mod who simply does not like what I write and felt like showing her mod power off. Me reporting members does nothing, and the reason is because I'm so controversial I deserve everything I get from flamers and baiters ( at least thats the general consensus). You warned both queen and woddy more times than I was ever warned and neither got a TO. And after I was kicked off they still came at me. So yea, I think thats a little unfair.....especially since I ignored them time and time again after my warning in regards to cindy's comment. I counted 6 times you warned them.....and nothing was done. I get warned once and then banned on a flake of a judgement call. Am I wrong to be a little upset here?

Offline Suntropic98

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #118 on: October 29, 2007, 04:58:56 PM »
First of all Suntopic I doubt many here find any of your threads "entertaining", and if you think you have found a way of avoiding any of the Moderators you are sadly mistaken..like you we were not born yesterday.

If you insist on keeping this going then you will be TO'd again...if you want to stay and give your support then please do...but please remember these forums are not just about you...show a little more respect to the menbers here and things will be fine.

I'm giving you a warning..please take note of it.

Queenie please stay out of this.

Jan

You're giving me a warning? Ha! For what? What did I do this time? I've not disrespected anyone other than cindy (which I was corrected on and changed). Please! I have to hear what you're warning me on. I need a laugh.

Offline anniebc

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #119 on: October 29, 2007, 05:50:10 PM »
You may call your threads controversial we call them Flamebaits....the warning stills stands.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Peter Staley

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #120 on: October 29, 2007, 07:11:33 PM »
I just got home from Madrid, and have promptly banned suntropic for good. 

Folks needs to realize that I definitely have my limits of how much I will allow a member of these forums to completely disrespect our moderators.  It can lead to an immediate ban.  Call me a dictator if you want, but I have no patience for his attitude, and it was obviously unpolicable.

Peter

Offline northernguy

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #121 on: October 30, 2007, 02:13:07 AM »
Sigh, I'll miss the pec shot, I guess that makes me shallow ;D
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #122 on: October 30, 2007, 02:32:51 AM »
Sigh, I'll miss the pec shot, I guess that makes me shallow ;D

I'll give you a pec shot, alright.... ;D Haven't you heard what looks good isn't always good for you? Go for substance sweetie, you'll be better off in the long run. Trust me, I know... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Florida69

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #123 on: October 30, 2007, 10:53:37 AM »
I just got home from Madrid, and have promptly banned suntropic for good. 

Folks needs to realize that I definitely have my limits of how much I will allow a member of these forums to completely disrespect our moderators.  It can lead to an immediate ban.  Call me a dictator if you want, but I have no patience for his attitude, and it was obviously unpolicable.

Peter

I am disappointed, but I am learning to expect that from this forum...   You never know when a member and the people who hold power will come at you at once.  I have some wonderful friends who come here, and that is why I come here.  I have not made any new friends and honestly, I am afraid to engage.  When I do try to engage most of the time I am shouted down, it is not really fair.  I guess I am the lucky one, I have a safe place where people don't judge and  you can be yourself, I just have not seen that ability here.  I don't think from reading his posts that anything he said should have been misconstrued, he was simply a different person with a different attitude and was simply flame batted as you all call it.  When he was called out for being wrong he apologized. I understand each of your points, but I see his as well.  I really thought he was reaching out for help.  With all that said, I have heard stories about this forum, I now have seen that those stories are indeed true.  Take care, D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #124 on: October 30, 2007, 11:01:05 AM »
I don't think Sun should have been banned for good, but hey, it isn't my board.  I take offense to the way he spoke to the moderators but I think he felt attacked by them. 

All in all, he did represent a very underrepresented community out there.  Straight, young, attractive - the "it will never happen to me" group.  I understand he offended some and his colorful language concerning women was a bit much, but that is how people talk. 

Maybe I am not as offended by him because he reminds me of A LOT of the guys I grew up with in NJ.  Party, Booze, Girls, and that's all it is about.  Get them alone and talk to them and they turn out to be pretty nice guys. 

Oh well, hopefully he will wise up some and take care of himself. 

Pete

Offline pozniceguy

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #125 on: October 30, 2007, 11:41:04 AM »
I am glad Peter took immediate action...this guy was too immature to "converse" in a decent way...he constantly declared how "right " he was and how " stupid, dumb, or uneducated others seem to be"    ...I found him offensive in many ways...I hope he does grow up and act..as well as speak in a more acceptable way....he particularly insulted the moderators and didn't hesitate to "beat" on anyone who did not immediately agree with him or adopt his somewhat twisted logic about the treatment of women.....   GOOD RIDDANCE....

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline Dachshund

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #126 on: October 30, 2007, 11:47:58 AM »
Did anyone beside Queen actually bother to read and interpret the misogyny this guy was preaching? If he had said the same things about gays or Jews or any other minority he would have been banned on his first post. To try and explain it away as "oh well boys will be boys" is just beyond me. I have a suspicion the women of the forums feel a bit differently.

While I'm at it we get to hear another, "I've heard stories about the forums and now I know it's true." What stories, what's true? Jeez, give me a break. If it is so horrible go somewhere else, it's really quite that simple. Frankly, I'm tired of people using unnamed sources to denigrate the place.


Offline Florida69

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #127 on: October 30, 2007, 11:57:47 AM »
While I'm at it we get to hear another, "I've heard stories about the forums and now I know it's true." What stories, what's true? Jeez, give me a break. If it is so horrible go somewhere else, it's really quite that simple. Frankly, I'm tired of people using unnamed sources to denigrate the place.



You just proved my point about being shouted down, so thanks will do...   D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
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Offline Dachshund

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #128 on: October 30, 2007, 12:07:11 PM »
You just proved my point about being shouted down, so thanks will do...   D

Oh I see how this works. You are allowed to state your opinion and no one is allowed to respond. Believe me, you haven't heard me shout.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #129 on: October 30, 2007, 01:31:25 PM »
I am amazed that some of you choose to defend Suntropic's disgusting ways towards women. Yes, he is young but that does not excuse him for his words about women. I am wondering if some you actually agree with what he is saying. I also agree with what Aunty was saying as well, if he would've said anything derogatory towards gay men, it would've gotten quite ugly. That in itself is very disturbing to me.....

Before becoming heated with Suntropic if you recall, I gave him the opportunity to explain himself. I asked him why he felt the way he did because I was looking for some way to excuse him. For example if he would've said something like my father did such and such to my mother or even if he would've said it was the way he was raised but instead he chose to use the history of the world as basis for his reasoning. And even before I got his twisted views on things, I had to wade through the bullshit of some more excuses which eventually led to even more derogatory remarks about women. I believe it was a Russian whore gave him something and now he has a fever of a 103 and so on.

Then he goes on to attack the moderators. More specific, the female moderators, yes, he tossed a few words towards Andy but his main focus was on trying to degrade the women which screamed to me that he has issues with any women in authority. I don't see how anyone could not see this. :o Then if any female forum member stand up to him, he wants to scream foul and that he is being picked on. But if the female member kinda ignores him or backs down, he wants to try to bully them. I don't take well to being called out and I am very protective of those here I consider to be friends. I could've responded to Sun's last post which was indeed a call out but since I was warned by both Andy and Jan, I backed off.

My final thoughts on Sun is that he does indeed need help. Will he get it? Not likely when you think of yourself as God's gift to women. Am I glad he got banned, very much so because to me he had nothing to contribute to these forums. Anything anyone posted suddenly got flipped into something about him. Because he has such loathing for women, a woman will eventually be his downfall, karma works in mysterious ways. ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
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5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #130 on: October 30, 2007, 02:31:29 PM »
Quote
I am amazed that some of you choose to defend Suntropic's disgusting ways towards women. Yes, he is young but that does not excuse him for his words about women. I am wondering if some you actually agree with what he is saying. I also agree with what Aunty was saying as well, if he would've said anything derogatory towards gay men, it would've gotten quite ugly. That in itself is very disturbing to me.....

I am not defending him, all I said was that is how people talk.  It is wrong and I agree that he should have gotten time outs.  You are right, if he said the same things about gay men it would have gotten ugly.  The boards are not a place for any insults so I understand your disgust.

As for agreeing with what he is saying, c'mon now.  Half the time I couldn't follow it let alone agree.  If you read any of my post you know I would never attack women in any way and have great respect for women.  My mama raised me right :)

I think he does need help with his attitude in general.  Hopefully he will get that.  I just hate when anyone on here gets banned for life because I know how beneficial it is to have this support system.  But you have to play by the rules and mind your P's and Q's.

Sorry, Queen, if you think I am "defending" him.  I didn't mean to offend with my defend (I am a poet and didn't know it)

Pete

Offline englishgirl

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #131 on: October 30, 2007, 02:47:38 PM »
personally i think he shouldve been banned/TO'd for misogyny before he even got to insulting the mods. i agree with those who have commented that he wouldnt have got away with voicing similar stuff about another group of people such as an ethnic or sexual group.

i do think he needs help, and not just regarding his attitude to women. i think he came on here trying to upset things and provoke reactions, that needs addressing too as i think it relates to how he is dealing with his status as well as with other people.

a theoretical question. if, in 5 years time we had a lovely and non-misogynistic member, and after some time he contacted the mods confessing he was the former suntropic, and had clearly by his posts renounced all his former opinions, what would happen? banned again or allowed to remain?
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #132 on: October 30, 2007, 02:48:24 PM »
I think he does need help with his attitude in general.  Hopefully he will get that.  I just hate when anyone on here gets banned for life because I know how beneficial it is to have this support system.  But you have to play by the rules and mind your P's and Q's.

Sorry, Queen, if you think I am "defending" him.  I didn't mean to offend with my defend (I am a poet and didn't know it)

Pete

I appreciate you explaining what you meant. Sun got a time out and still came back like it didn't mean anything. I also hate to see someone get banned for life especially when they have something to contribute. IMO, Sun never had anything worth contributing but instead thought to try to make this site a place for his warped take on how women should be treated and his sexual escapades.

Peter banned him and I explained why I felt the way I did because I did not want people here to feel like I was picking on him or trying to gain brownie points. It was something personal to me and reminded me of the hell I had to endure behind being abused. I think I have said all I possibly can and am done with this thread.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #133 on: October 30, 2007, 03:05:58 PM »
a theoretical question. if, in 5 years time we had a lovely and non-misogynistic member, and after some time he contacted the mods confessing he was the former suntropic, and had clearly by his posts renounced all his former opinions, what would happen? banned again or allowed to remain?

I would think the appropriate thing to do would be to contact the moderating team and humbly state this change of heart and ask for a chance to be reinstated on a probational basis.  That's just off the top of my head.  To have that sort of suprise reveal (even if he displayed this personal transformation thing) would be a separate violation of the TOS agreement in and of itself, still placing the membership on shaky ground.  The only way to really demonstrate a new found level of respect would be to do so at the outset, with honesty about it from the top down.  The mods and the members would have a right to know this fact from the beginning. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Florida69

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #134 on: October 30, 2007, 05:28:16 PM »
I guess my point was that I feel remorseful that a person who obviously needed support will not get it, when it is apparent to me that what he was reaching out for it.  If you read my initial post in this thread I said that the females in my family would have found it offensive.  They probably would ignore the lack of one's knowledge by making such statements.  I come from strong women; I would never call one a chic most less a whore.  Maybe that comes from being raised to be a gentle man from the south.  Honestly, young straight men speak that way these days; whether I agree or disagree it does not matter.  Akasha, I now understand why you took it so personally, and in my mind you fed the fire by engaging the banter.  If someone came here and attacked lets say "gay people" as you mentioned, then I think I would have avoided the conversation, and not be baited into a war of words.  That is just me.  This board is heavily moderated for a reason.  What I have seen first hand here, is that if a person gives a piece of their personality (whether it be right wrong or indifferent) it is turned against them, and I have heard this to be true of this forum and have never actually seen it until this thread.  I agree that he should not have attacked a moderator, but he is not a child, I would not want to be treated that way.

When I took note that this was true, I let everyone know my feelings on this subject and planned on letting it go.  As far as your threat of shouting, only a rationally insecure person would have gone there.  Now I know who you are and you will be the first on my ignore list, I don't deal with rabble rousers.  My life is full of love, work, hopes and dreams; I do not have the time nor need for meaningless threats. 

I believed this young was seeking help in dealing with who he was and who he needed to become in order to deal with his life as a positive straight man.  I hope that my words are not insulting, that is not my goal, I am only trying to clarify why it bothered me that he was banned for good.  I think he had potential for helping his generation.

In light of this post, I will give myself a time out to reflect on the conversation here and threats made, and move on.

Take care, D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
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Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #135 on: October 30, 2007, 05:39:58 PM »
When I took note that this was true, I let everyone know my feelings on this subject and planned on letting it go.  As far as your threat of shouting, only a rationally insecure person would have gone there.  Now I know who you are and you will be the first on my ignore list, I don't deal with rabble rousers.  My life is full of love, work, hopes and dreams; I do not have the time nor need for meaningless threats. 

In light of this post, I will give myself a time out to reflect on the conversation here and threats made, and move on.

Take care, D


Whose "threats"?  I'm not following.  I reread the most recent posts and don't see anything amounting to threats.  Unless by the shouting thing, you mean Dachshund...in which case, that hardly qualifies as a threat.  Like he said above, it seems like your idea is that you are supposed to make blanket statements about the board and those are supposed to stand unchallenged...thus, "letting it go".  But if your statements are challenged at all, then those are "threats made" and examples of you being "shouted down". 

That doesn't fly, man. 

But of course, you're gonna say this is more of the "clique" or "gang mentality".  Which is isn't, it's just making a counterpoint. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #136 on: October 30, 2007, 05:51:23 PM »
Dear All,

Florida, I agree that it's unfortunate and even sad that Suntropic, someone who can be said to be in need of help, won't be able to draw on the resources of this site. He's of adult age, he made his choices and he has to bear responsibility for his having been banned. To allow him to simply continue on in that manner would have been irresponsible and I totally support Peter's decision.

But there is a much larger issue involved here. And I must say I accept some blame for a situation that ought never have been permitted to go on as long as it did. The language he repeatedly used when speaking about women is absolutely unacceptable here.

He did it over and over while apparently being unable or unwilling to comprehend in any way how foul and obscene his language actually was.

I regret not having warned him early on that if he continued to use those kinds of words -- terms which I will not repeat here -- that he would be banned. We would never allow anyone to use the n word or faggot or queer or make a reference to someone's religion in such a way. And yet I mistakenly let him go on again and again with really disgusting terminology. I can only call it some kind of misquided attempt to have a rational conversation with someone who simply was incapable of doing that. 

It won't happen again. I apologize to not only our women members but to all members, because that kind of language is really degrading and insulting to all.

Sincerely and with shame,

 
« Last Edit: October 30, 2007, 06:07:07 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline englishgirl

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #137 on: October 30, 2007, 05:58:24 PM »
andy, your post means alot to me and i for one thank you

(and i love the new pic too)
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Offline Dragonette

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #138 on: October 30, 2007, 06:04:56 PM »
Andy, TY.
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #139 on: October 30, 2007, 06:06:25 PM »
  Akasha, I now understand why you took it so personally, and in my mind you fed the fire by engaging the banter.  If someone came here and attacked lets say "gay people" as you mentioned, then I think I would have avoided the conversation, and not be baited into a war of words.  That is just me.  This board is heavily moderated for a reason.  What I have seen first hand here, is that if a person gives a piece of their personality (whether it be right wrong or indifferent) it is turned against them, and I have heard this to be true of this forum and have never actually seen it until this thread.  I agree that he should not have attacked a moderator, but he is not a child, I would not want to be treated that way.

When I took note that this was true, I let everyone know my feelings on this subject and planned on letting it go.  As far as your threat of shouting, only a rationally insecure person would have gone there.  Now I know who you are and you will be the first on my ignore list, I don't deal with rabble rousers.  My life is full of love, work, hopes and dreams; I do not have the time nor need for meaningless threats. 

I tried to walk away from this thread but since you insist on directing your comments towards me then I think I should give you my response. That is if you haven't already put me on ignore. I don't see anywhere in my previous posts where I was shouting or threatening anyone. What happened is the debate got pretty heated and when that happened Andy and Jan both issued warnings, not just to Sun but to me as well which I heeded to and back down accordingly. If it would've been the way you seem to have imagined it then I would be serving a time out. Funny how none of the moderators seen it the way you did but then I guess you will blame that on them showing favoritism.

I take you baiting me with this post by saying that I am a rabble rouser. Please tell me in any other post that I have called people names? I do call it like I see it and whether you want to accept it or not Sun is abusive towards women which in my eyes makes him an abuser. If someone would've come here and started trashing gay men, I would have asked for an explanation for their reasoning just as I did Sun.

Before you start wagging your holier than thou finger at me for being insecure, try enduring some of the mental and physical abuses that I have then come talk to me. I do not need your opinions to validate me just being able to overcome what I have shows me just how strong a woman I am.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline SteveA

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #140 on: October 30, 2007, 07:42:46 PM »
First let me just say I hope Tropic can at least read this post. The symptoms he describes are exactly what I experienced in 1997 when I had 7 T-Cells and MAC! I nearly died! Go see your doctor immediately!

As to the behaviors I've witnessed not just from him but many other's in this thread, I'm appalled at the lack of compassion I've seen by users, administrators and moderators alike. It's quite obvious to me that the boy was too ill to contain his emotions, and having been there with MAC I quite understand how hard it is to be civil when you feel like you're dying! Does nobody here know how to use the ignore feature when people continually offend them? The baiting posts I've seen and the gang mentality used against him sickens me!

Do I agree with his use of derogatory terms? Good grief no! I would hope that people moderating the forums here would be familiar with the postings of someone who is too sick to manage their own responses and have some ability to moderate without using the ban bat because of offensive terms, which I've been seeing by both sides of the fence. Some of the terms bantered about by the opposing side, which I won't bother to re list are just as offensive and I don't care if you are using them in jest or with someone who understands "where you're coming from" when you use them. They should be just as invisible in these support forums as the terms that he used.

I'll say this, support forums should be supportive to EVERYONE affected by HIV, not just those we agree and identify with.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #141 on: October 30, 2007, 09:22:56 PM »
SteveA:

In a post to the Forums dated August 28th, Suntropic made it perfectly clear that he is an HIV medical success story, with a CD4 count jumping from 165 cells to 780 cells in just 18 months. "The people moderating the forums here" -- me being one of them -- are "familiar with the postings of someone who is too sick to manage their own responses"... and, in Suntropic's case, I'm more inclined to think that his behavior in the Forums had more to do with the 9,000 mg of testosterone he claims to be taking a week, along with some seriously engrained misogyny.

No matter what brings people to these Forums -- whether its to be supportive, offer support, or simply shoot the breeze -- we have rules to live by. We want ALL HIV-positive people to use this resource to their advantage, but not at the expense of creating a hostile environment for others. Fact of the matter is, we have women in these Forums who have been on the receiving end of misogyny and abuse in their lives and they shouldn't have to deal with it here. And simply looking the other way wasn't an option in this case, with Suntropic posting numerous derogatory messages in various threads, over the course of a few hours, just back from a Time Out.

We fully expect people to come to the Forums angry, sad and in pain at times. But just as in a structured support group settings, there are rules of communication. Members of these Forums -- and its moderators -- made it perfectly clear that Suntropic was free to talk about his troubles, without chauvinistic musings and baiting. What he suffers from is misogyny... and the AIDSmeds.com Forums simply isn't the place for him to work through this.

Tim Horn
« Last Edit: October 30, 2007, 09:33:05 PM by Tim Horn »

Offline SteveA

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #142 on: October 30, 2007, 10:46:30 PM »
Well let me just say I haven't read all of the forums and this was the first thread of his that I happened to get on my list of unread messages so I am not familiar with his history, but I still stand by what I said about the bad behavior on both sides. I'm familiar with the term "Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself", but I find that the people handing out rope like it's going out of style are just as guilty of misbehavior as the one being hung out to dry.

One member was repeatedly warned for baiting him and no TO was issued. That, to me as someone who has just started reading the forums regularly here, reeks of unfairness. Andy has even said he should have stopped SunnyT's ranting much earlier than he did. He also should have issued Time Outs to those who baited him and were repeatedly warned not to do so if you ask me.

I don't know everyone here or all the histories involved yet, but certainly I recognize a lot of familiar behaviors on both sides that could have been better regulated without issuing a lifelong ban. Here's my suggestion. When you get members like SunnyT who appear incapable of moderating their own speech, maybe a little online counciling session via PM where they're not allowed to post in the forums but can certainly discuss things via PM would be a solution and maybe councilors could be found to discuss these things with them via the private messaging system. Just a suggestion, but I think it's a more humane solution than using the ban stick.

Anyway, give time I probably would have found his name on my own ignore list if his history is as bad as you say.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2007, 10:54:53 PM by SteveA »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #143 on: October 30, 2007, 10:59:56 PM »
Anyway, give time I probably would have found his name on my own ignore list if his history is as bad as you say.

Why don't you review Sunny's posting history and decide for yourself, Steve?

Oh, and welcome to the Forums etc.

MtD

Offline SteveA

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #144 on: October 30, 2007, 11:05:00 PM »
He's gone now, why go out of my way to dislike him if he's not going to be posting here?  ::) I don't discount his past as I don't know it all. I'm only stating my opinions based on what I read in this thread tonight. I certainly wasn't fond of his use of the WH*** & BI*** words but I found the use of the word chick to be no more offensive than the word dude. In any case, I just hope that better solutions can be worked out for the future. Counciling would definitely not have been out of line for his case.  ;)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #145 on: October 30, 2007, 11:12:33 PM »
I certainly wasn't fond of his use of the WH*** & BI*** words

I presume you mean "WHORE" and "BITCH". We're grown ups here kid, it's alright to cuss.

but I found the use of the word chick to be no more offensive than the word dude.

It's not about whether you or I consider the term "chick" to be offensive, it's about whether women find that word offensive. Apparently many do.

MtD

Offline thunter34

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #146 on: October 30, 2007, 11:15:00 PM »
He's gone now, why go out of my way to dislike him if he's not going to be posting here?  ::)

 ::)  <---------  That's sort of how I'm feeling now.  He's gone now, but that hasn't stood in your way of making blanket condemnations of how he was treated or voicing your disgust at how "apalled at the lack of compassion" you've been.  And all this without really delving into Sun's posting history...nor, I suspect, the posting history of several people involved in this thread.  
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline SteveA

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #147 on: October 30, 2007, 11:20:15 PM »
I certainly wasn't fond of his use of the WH*** & BI*** words

I presume you mean "WHORE" and "BITCH". We're grown ups here kid, it's alright to cuss.

but I found the use of the word chick to be no more offensive than the word dude.

It's not about whether you or I consider the term "chick" to be offensive, it's about whether women find that word offensive. Apparently many do.

MtD

I don't like being called dude myself, but I don't find it offensive enough to raise a ban bat to someone. Glad to know cussin's allowed as long as it's not in a name calling post. I think we're all grown up enough to recognize baiting when we see it though. The ignore feature works only if you use it.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: HIV and Dating: Part III "I'm back and I have a lot to tell"
« Reply #148 on: October 31, 2007, 07:05:30 AM »
I think it's safe to say that this thread will continue to go nowhere fast.

I'm locking this one up.

Tim Horn

 


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