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Author Topic: New here- question about a friend  (Read 2433 times)

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Offline MableSaysRuff

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
New here- question about a friend
« on: July 07, 2006, 12:11:00 AM »
Hi everyone, I am so glad this forum exsists.

The reason I am writing isn't for myself but a close friend. He has had HIV/Aids for 20 years and I am worried about him. He is suffering from depression right now, pretty bad. He has also lost alot of weight. He said his blood tests are good and the viral count is what it has always been- but he doesn't look good. He hasn't been trying to loose weight, it is just coming off. He also says he is very tired.

Could he really be ok and the stress of other life stuff is getting to him, or could this be the decline of his overall health?

I don't know how long one can live with HIV/full blown AIDS. But he said that it will be 20 years this month.

I am so worried.

Thanks,

Mable

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2006, 12:22:32 AM »
Mable,

If your friend is depressed he needs to seek the help of a mental health professional. HIV positive people can be quite prone to depression, as you'd understand. It's good that he has a friend like you. It's probably best not to pester him too much about his numbers. I know you're trying to help, but for many of us being asked about our blood test results all the time can be annoying.

Encourage him to seek medical attention for his depression if he hasn't already. The only other thing you can do is be a good friend to him.

Regards,

MtD

Offline MableSaysRuff

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2006, 01:01:53 AM »
Thanks,

I didn't ask him too many questions and when I got hom my dh wanted to call him and I told him to just leave him be. I have suffered from depression too,  so I know whats its like (aids, aside) having two tons of ppl converge on you when you feel like that.

Hes heading to his counselors and were going to be dog sitting for him while hes gone. I told him to take all the time he needs- one day or 50- whatever.

I am just worried b/c he has had it for so long. I don't know how long one can live with aids, and being its 20 years and he is losing so much weight- I am really worried. Not that I can do anything about it, but just that we care so much for him.

He said tonight that there isn't alot of connectins where we live for "people like [him]" meaning homosexual and hiv pos. I know he feels pretty alone and although he does have family here, I think he isn't really close to them. I think we are one of the few, if not only ppl he has told about the hiv.

thanks again,

Mable


Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2006, 01:58:28 AM »
Mabel,

It's good to hear he's getting some therapy and it's good that you care enough to take care of his dog for him. Your support will no doubt go a long way to helping him.

With the advent of new treatments (highly active anti-retroviral therapy) it's quite common for HIV+ people to live for many years in relatively good health. A number of our members here are 20+ year survivors of the pandemic.

Have you thought about encouraging your friend to join the AIDSMEDS community forums himself? If there aren't a lot of HIV+ people or appropriate forms of support in his area (and even if there are), a forum like this can be a fantastic place for people to turn.

Fond regards,

MtD

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,643
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2006, 10:49:49 AM »
Hi Mable

I'd say your friend is lucky to have you !   I am also in my 20th year, we have several people who have survived that long and longer even.   I am also struggling with my weight, trying to combat AIDS-related wasting.   Matty is on target, it may be a depression issue.    Does your friend have a computer?
Does he know about this website?   It is imperative (in my opinion) to have a support system in place, and this site has been a lifesaver for many people, myself included.

I hope you are able to help him.   If nothing else, your caring and concern will help him more than you know.

Hugs,
Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline angels4kelly

  • Member
  • Posts: 305
  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2006, 04:15:49 PM »
HEY BAMA!!
[/b]




POSITIVE SINCE-10/1990
CD4-610
CD4%-29.3
VL-UNDETECTABLE
VIREAD,VIRACEPT, EPZICOM

MOST RECENT...
10/9/2006
CD4's-714
CD4%-30%
VL-Undetectable
DIAGNOSES POSITIVE 10/90
SAME MEDS, VIREAD, VIRAMUNE, EPZICOM.

SHOOT FOR THE MOON! YOU MAY MISS,
BUT YOU'LL LAND IN THE STARS :)

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
 
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline angels4kelly

  • Member
  • Posts: 305
  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2006, 04:40:17 PM »
I apologize MSRuff,
I know I should not have put this as a reply to your post!!
I don't at all want to seem to make light of your friend's problem.
Again.
I am very, very sorry.
I'm sure there are people here who are far more qualified to help you and your friend.
Peace.
Kelly
POSITIVE SINCE-10/1990
CD4-610
CD4%-29.3
VL-UNDETECTABLE
VIREAD,VIRACEPT, EPZICOM

MOST RECENT...
10/9/2006
CD4's-714
CD4%-30%
VL-Undetectable
DIAGNOSES POSITIVE 10/90
SAME MEDS, VIREAD, VIRAMUNE, EPZICOM.

SHOOT FOR THE MOON! YOU MAY MISS,
BUT YOU'LL LAND IN THE STARS :)

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
 
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,643
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: New here- question about a friend
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2006, 08:25:34 PM »
Thanks for the kiss, Kelly......was that for me???  :-*  :-*  :-*

Hugs,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

 


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