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Author Topic: Dildo use with possible precum  (Read 2636 times)

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Offline ralpel

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  • Posts: 6
Dildo use with possible precum
« on: March 18, 2008, 10:18:39 AM »
Hi,
Like everyone else on here, i've worried myself until i can't function anymore!

I'm a married male and met up with a guy a month ago (Feb 13) who got naked and between my legs and used my dildo on me.  I never touched him and he never touched me.  However, i did notice lots of precum on his penis which was very close to my anus.  I'm concerned that the precum was transmitted to the dildo and then worked into my ass.  I can't be for sure, but the proximity of his penis to my dildo and hole was very close.

Since then, i've had a breakout of acne on my face and body. (about 1-2 weeks after the contact) and at 4 weeks, i had an entire day of terrible diaherra. The diaherra lasted for about 1 day.  I took my temperature and it was normal.  I haven't had any other symptoms that i know of.

I'm concerned that my worry is making my symptoms "appear". 

As many of the previous posters, all i can think about is the guilt and the possiblilty of losing my wife and two children and everything i've ever worked for.

I live in the Bay area and have called a few clinics which told me that for around $250.00 they can test me at anything over 28 days and guarantee conclusive results. 

Do i have high risk?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2008, 01:32:40 PM »
ral,

You didn't have a risk at all. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. It is not transitted via objects such as dildos. Yes, I understand what you were saying, so don't bother repeating it. Hiv transmission doesn't happen in the manner you describe.

Forget about symptoms. We don't discuss symptoms here as their presence or absence will tell you NOTHING about your hiv status. If you feel  unwell, go see your doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv as you did not have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ralpel

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2008, 05:57:11 PM »
So other than my piece of mind, you don't think i should take the test? 



"Why do we do such stupid things, when we know how they affect us mentally?"

Offline Morgan

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  • You did WHAT??
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2008, 06:06:21 PM »
Ralpel,

That's right.

You had no risk for hiv infection.  Testing for this reason alone would be a waste of time, money, and resources.

Morgan
« Last Edit: March 18, 2008, 06:08:27 PM by Morgan »
Morgan Landers

Offline ralpel

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2008, 10:16:40 AM »
OK, well...

there are hours where i feel i'm completely in the clear, then others where i've totally convienced myself them its over.  I think i might be making up what really happend that evening with the guy.  I know he was between my legs, i never saw him do anything that would suggest he purposely put his precum on me, i just know that he was really close to me.  I've have limited MSM before, but nothing that ever involved ANY bodily fluids.  I guess since i got diaherra and have the higher amount of acne than normal, i'm just worried sick. 
I'm having a very difficult time dealing with the guilt and stress.  Can any of you experts tell me who i can talk with to help? 
I've called two HIV hotlines and both of them told me that what i did was low risk.  Why can't i just get over it? 

I know the easy answer is to get the 28 day test, but i don't know if i can deal with the chance of knowing the answer.

Offline Morgan

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  • You did WHAT??
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2008, 10:27:51 AM »
ralpel,

Your feelings, while being very real to you, have no bearing on your risk for hiv infection.  If you focus on the science of hiv transmission, you will quickly put into perspective the difference between your fears, and something to actually be afraid of.

Nothing you describe put you at risk for hiv infection.

Cut yourself some slack.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline ralpel

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2008, 10:21:14 AM »
I went and tested yesterday, now i have to wait at least two days and up to five to find out the results. I wish i knew how to keep my mind off of it until the results are in.

I did the 28 day test.  I hope the horror of this situation will be over soon.
I know all you said i don't have risk, but i went ahead and took the test just so i knew for sure.  I need to take accountability for my actions and hopefully learn from the results that this type of stress is unwarranted and unneaded.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2008, 01:24:03 PM »
The only horror there is, is at your hands. You didn't need to test to begin with.

Offline Morgan

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  • You did WHAT??
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2008, 11:31:23 PM »
Ralpel,

Let me see.... you used safer sex practices, did not put yourself at risk, but are living in horror.

This wouldn't have anything to do with having tried and enjoyed something that you later felt guilt and shame about would it?

No risk for hiv.

Morgan (who's about to bust out the Irish Creme for his coffee)
Morgan Landers

Offline ralpel

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2008, 11:52:17 AM »
Morgan, i hear what your saying.

I know that i didn't have "sex" and i shouldn't be worried about hiv, but the thought won't leave my mind.

It's the "what if's" and the guilt that is killing me.  It isn't that i liked it or not, just that i did something i shouldn't have.  I'm a married, successful family man.  The fact that i cheated is what is killing me and because of that, i'm completely ruining my life until i find out the results of the test.

I start adding up the symptoms in my head and i convience myself that i'm already hiv+.  I wish i could stop, but i cant.

I know my risk is low.  But in my head, he put cum, precum, and everything else on the dildo and worked it in me.

The mind is a terrible thing to waste, i just wish mine would stop working for awhile!

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,194
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2008, 12:07:21 PM »
Seek professional mental help. No one on this forum or any other forum would be able to help you. You need one on one help. Good luck to you.

Offline ralpel

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2008, 09:14:00 AM »
I've had a sore on my lower lip for a week now, and just yesterday i noticed two white dots on the shaft of my penis???  I still haven't received my test results yet, but i'm convinced i have some other STD now and that HIV is next. 

Please help me.  If i have a STD from this encounter, its possible i have HIV too.

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,194
Re: Dildo use with possible precum
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2008, 09:28:27 AM »
Since you refuse to pay attention to the replies that have been given you maybe you'll understand this.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

 


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