Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 01, 2014, 03:52:51 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23361
  • Latest: izhca
Stats
  • Total Posts: 636766
  • Total Topics: 48333
  • Online Today: 166
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 4
Guests: 124
Total: 128

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Advice please.  (Read 3398 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Advice please.
« on: October 01, 2007, 10:49:07 AM »
3-4 yrs ago I had unprotected anal sex as the top. Lately I have become concerned over my status. I am in a relationship and the sex partner wasn't my boyf. After looking through the net at HIV sites I have not recognised having any seroconversion or opportunistic infections apart from the flu when there was an outbreak. My health for the last 3 yrs has been good only having one episode of sick time from work. I know I need to have the test and have scheduled one. In the last few years I have had depression and stress which was work related and didn't have any infections during this period. Am I being overly paranoid. Could lose my boyf over this nad don't want that to happen. Your advice please.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2007, 11:00:23 AM »
Ewan,

The ONLY way to know your hiv status is to test. Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms are meaningless when it comes to diagnosing hiv.

If this incident of unprotected intercourse a few years ago is the only time you've had unprotected intercourse, you can test now for a reliable, conclusive result. Otherwise, you need to test three months or more after your last bareback incident for a conclusive result.

If this unprotected incident you bring to us is the only unprotected incident in your life, then as the insertive partner the odds are significantly in your favour of testing negative. However, this was still a risky incident and you should test. It's the ONLY way to know your hiv status.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2007, 11:06:23 AM »
Thanks Ann. I am worrying myself sick as I don't want my partner to know that I am having the test. If it is positive I will have to face up to the truth with him. I know he is ok as we have only ever had safe sex. I have been having safe sex ever since. I feel a hypocrite as I used to work in the sexual health field. I was drunk on that night and had been out cruising a park. One episode of stupidity and . . . will let you know how it went. Thanks again.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,607
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2007, 11:10:13 AM »
Ewan, you're just human like all the rest of us. You have plenty of company amongst healthcare workers who consciously "know better" and for a variety of reasons have had unsafe intercourse. It's good to know that you and your bf have been playing it safe since long past the incident you're concerned about.

For what it's worth I completely agree with Ann. The odds against transmission during a single incident in which you were the insertive partner are significantly in your favor. But as I know you realize only a test result can give you the real answer.

Be strong, get tested and hopefully collect a negative result that will put this concern to rest. Given how long ago it was you can get tested anytime now and get a reliable result. Keep us posted and we'll have fingers and everything else crossed for you.

Cheers,
« Last Edit: October 01, 2007, 11:12:40 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2007, 11:12:06 AM »
Ewan,

You will need to continue using condoms, even if your test result is negative, until such time as your partner has ALSO tested negative for hiv. Assuming he is also hiv negative without the proof of a test result is not a good idea, it's a recipe for disaster.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Good luck with the testing, but please continue using condoms with your partner until you also know his status and remember, only testing will reveal that information.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2007, 11:27:18 AM »
I agree with you Ann, my partner and  have only ever done oral and masturbation.The 3 times we have done penetrative sex it was safe.  I have been with him for 15 yrs and would never risk his life in any way apart from being a major idiot that night. I am worrying myself because i am not able to talk to anyone as my friends and family would be so disappointed in me. Feeling very sorry for myself. Sorry for sounding so self involved.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2007, 12:18:34 PM »
Ewan,

My comments about condom use aren't so much that you might put his health in danger, but that he might put you at risk unless you know for a fact that he's hiv negative. Unless you've seen a test result, you don't know if he's hiv negative or hiv positive and neither does he. If you two plan on going condomless with each other in future, you need to test together.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2007, 02:46:36 PM »
I agree with you again Ann. We are not really into penetrative sex together. Deep down I think I am negative but until I do the test I wont know. I'm up for a sleepless night tonight. Probably going to cry a lot as well. God I feel so pathetic. Just had to spend two very stressfull days with my boyf trying to act normal.Will let you know how I get on.

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2007, 03:11:33 PM »
Is someone out there deliberately fucking with my mind?(sorry for the language) just turned on the tv and there was a programme advertised on HIV. Can't type for the tears. Need to cry myself stupid. If I am poz then it will be a big blow for me as it would for anyone. Will have to deal with it though. Sory for bringing people down.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,607
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2007, 03:19:44 PM »
I'd say the only person you're bringing down is yourself. You're also assuming you're going to test positive, which as I have said before is less than likely.

However, I also want to reinforce what Ann said about BOTH you and your partner getting tested. OK, so anal intercourse doesn't seem to have been a factor in your relationship. But sometimes unexpected things happen and sometime you guys may get experimental. Even if you guys consider yourselves to be in a securely monogamous relationship having both of you get tested is still a good idea. Assuming you both test negative then you know that. And if either of you don't test negative, then you will know that too. In the meantime until such time as you both have negative results in  hand any anal intercourse should involve using condoms.

Now stop with all this weepy shmeepy stuff and go get yourself tested. Good luck with the result and keep us posted.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2007, 03:26:53 PM »
Thanks Andy sorry for being a wuss, going to chat to my best friend who will give me a good kick up the ass. Will keep you posted on my results.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2007, 04:22:32 PM »
Ewan,

The BBC program with Stephen Fry has been in production since the beginning of the year and has nothing to do with your situation. They have been advertising it for a couple weeks now.

Now get yourself down to your local GUM clinic and get that test done so you can put this behind you. Going by the information you've given us, I'm fully expecting a negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2007, 04:49:33 PM »
Yes boss will do. Thanks from one very silly but scared man.

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2007, 07:06:34 AM »
Hi just to let you know I have had my test and will get the results in a couple of days. Trying to keep the chin up etc but getting a bit better after a cry at the clinic. One night of stupidity and a lot of drink could be a life changer. Realise that if I am positive that my life will change and that it will take some time to come to terms. Been reading some of the other forums and realise that I am not the only person that this has happened to. Thankyou to all that have replied and read my thread. I can go on a bit I know. ::)

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2007, 11:30:54 AM »
Can anyone help me with this question. Even though  didn't have have any seroconversion symptoms that I can think of can a person go on and be healthy and not have any infections despite being poz? Trying to put the mind in order. Still hoping to be neg. Trying in my head to convince myself I'm going to be ok and not have to go on any meds. I've only had the flu once in the last 4 yrs, I did have an outbreak of Impetigo but that was before I put myself at risk, I have amild form of IBS since I was a child. I have had recurrent pharyngitis since childhood. Not had any herpes or hpv. Even when I was off work with stress and depression 3 yrs back I was not unwell apart from mentally. Sounding like a broken record but finding this is a god way for  me to get things off my chest.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2007, 12:44:58 PM »
Quote
Even though  didn't have have any seroconversion symptoms that I can think of can a person go on and be healthy and not have any infections despite being poz?

Ewan,

Yes, people can be perfectly healthy and never experience a single seroconversion symptom - yet still be hiv positive. That is one of the reasons why we refuse to discuss symptoms here - because to do so would put an emphasis on symptoms that they simply do not deserve. This could cause someone who has had a risk to think they didn't need to test, solely on the basis of not experiencing symptoms. It's the risk that matters, not the symptoms or lack thereof.

I know that's not what you want to hear, but that's the truth of the matter.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2007, 06:23:27 PM »
This is helping me to get my head round this. Sorry about discussing symptoms on here. Think I am as Andy says convincing myself that I am positive before the results have come through. The waiting is killing me and the thought of the aftermath so to speak is not a welcome one. Hoping the boyf will be there for me but if he isn't thenI wouldnt blame him. Nobody deserves to be HIV positive and I hope that I have the strength to deal with this.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,607
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2007, 09:48:27 PM »
You've got a few days of waiting to get through. Stay productively busy, breathe well and you will be amazed at how quickly and easily the time will pass. Really.

Andy Velez

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2007, 12:27:29 PM »
I know what you are saying but having anxiety attacks. Especially when near the boyf who doesn't know about the test or the incident. Feeling very sorry for myself. Must appear very self absorbed to anyne reading this thread. Fortunately got a supply of Valium. Going tomorrow for the results.  Have to get through another night shift first. Everyone is asking why I'm not myself. Difficult one to answer. Its just a waiting game. Trying to reassure myself that if I am poz then it is like having coronary disease and that it is liveable with just have to take care of myself and those I care for. Got a friend that has had HIV for 20 yrs and he is still going strong. Just have to get my head sorted out if it is a poz result. Trying to get into my head that I still have a chance in being neg. Boy have I learnt a valuable lesson here that I will teach others.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,607
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2007, 05:46:36 PM »
Fingers crossed and hoping to hear good news from you.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline ewan

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #20 on: October 04, 2007, 03:08:23 PM »
Hi Andy and Ann, Got my results - negative. What a relief. Thanks for your guidance and support. Time to give back to the community and carry on with my HIV training program at the GMH in Glasgow. Hope never to be in this situation again. Time to live and love. Will keep updated on this site as it is a very helpful site and will recommend it to everyone. 
 Ewan xx

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,607
Re: Advice please.
« Reply #21 on: October 04, 2007, 04:07:38 PM »
Congrats on your happy test result. Onward!
Andy Velez

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.