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Author Topic: How do you stay optimistic  (Read 7077 times)

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Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: How do you stay optimistic
« Reply #50 on: October 05, 2007, 12:11:11 AM »

Instead of looking at it as for every dark cloud there is a silver lining, what would you think if I tried to make an argument that for every happiness or good thing that happens in your life there is a related punishment or misery?

You would probably think I was being unrealistically pessimistic, wouldn't you?  Perhaps not grounded in reality? Now ask yourself why is OK to have an issue with thinking that every happiness must be punished and not that every bad thing has a bright side?

Yes, I would think you were being unrealistically pessimistic.  One often has to look for the good to find it.  Good is good.  Bad is not good.  Why would one intentionally look for the negative?  What would make more sense is if one were to say that a positive doesn't necessarily have to come from a negative, but that it would great if it did.  In this case, I'd want to find the good, positive aspects, if any, from an unpleasant or bad situation.  When we have found these positives, we're not avoiding anything or denying any feelings.  I think this is what a couple of us have meant.  If / when we can stop looking at a negative situation as having absolutely no positive aspect at all, then we're optimistic.  (The particular situation with your mom may be one that just doesn't fit this, though, so let's not even consider it.)

Quote
So I repeat myself from my original post - I don't trust those who need to always be optimistic vs. just allowing themselves to feel what they want to feel about their future be it scary or hopeful.

Some of us don't need to always feel optimistic.  Some of us just do.  I don't mean this as every minute of every day, but in an overall way.  I still get upset, scared, angry, etc.  To not do so would be dishonest with myself.  But when I analyze the situation and see that a small perspective adjustment (as in looking at the 'big picture' or conversely breaking it down and finding a bit of good hidden) is all that's needed, I realize that there are good things going in my life.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: How do you stay optimistic
« Reply #51 on: October 05, 2007, 01:18:37 AM »
Cityboy,

it is understandable to feel less optimistic at times. Not many people are optimistic all the time. There are good and bad days I have found. But the good news is there are meds now for this disease. Many people are living a very long time with this. My ex had a tcell count of 7 before and that was over 11 years ago. He started taking meds then and he is still around now and active.

You may not feel optimistic all the time. But I bet if you let yourself you will have some great days ahead of you.  :D

Offline mrtallguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 199
Re: How do you stay optimistic
« Reply #52 on: October 05, 2007, 06:36:04 AM »
Yes, I would think you were being unrealistically pessimistic.  One often has to look for the good to find it.  Good is good.  Bad is not good.  Why would one intentionally look for the negative?  What would make more sense is if one were to say that a positive doesn't necessarily have to come from a negative, but that it would great if it did.  In this case, I'd want to find the good, positive aspects, if any, from an unpleasant or bad situation.  When we have found these positives, we're not avoiding anything or denying any feelings.  I think this is what a couple of us have meant.  If / when we can stop looking at a negative situation as having absolutely no positive aspect at all, then we're optimistic. 

David


DAVID....well said!!   Often times I find that I am too close to a situation and need to back away to gain a better perspective.  When I take into account that my HIV is not the ONLY thing going on in my life then I can better handle it. 

CITYBOY....your HIV is only one piece of a large puzzle...of course it is not a piece to take lightly but don't focus on that alone.....as you know these forums are another piece of your puzzle that will help keep things in perspective and provide much needed support when you have a "cloudy" day....or when ur on top of the world!

Be Well...

Craig
I AM DETERMINED TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY!
--ACIM

Offline buca45

  • Member
  • Posts: 187
Re: How do you stay optimistic
« Reply #53 on: October 05, 2007, 11:08:09 AM »
I will just write what helps me stay optimistic and not read how others cope as we each have to come to terms in our own way without taking anyone elses path.
Wake up each day and be thankful that you were able to wake up!! look for the good in everything...yes it takes work, but it is something even healthy people have to do daily.
I always think when things get rough, "I have this virus, this virus doesn't have me"
I hope you dont think thats an after school special way of dealing with this, but as I said, we each have to find our own coping strategy and that is mine.

Good Luck and best wishes on finding your inner strength to get on with your life.............
"Love and Laughter and Happiness Ever After"

 


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