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Author Topic: Worst Decision of my life  (Read 783 times)

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Offline indus87769

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Worst Decision of my life
« on: March 18, 2014, 06:29:07 PM »
Hello,
    I am a 31 year old Indian guy living in the states. Two weeks back I was utterly drunk and visited a bath house. I had unprotected insertive anal sex with two guys(one clarified he is -ve) and both receptive and insetive oral sex with another guy. There was no ejaculation involved in any of the instances. I must mention the morning of that particular day, my gums were bleeding while brushing.
    Exactly 14 days later, on a Sunday morning,I got a bit of sniffles and got a low grade fever and chills, i thought I caught cold, i didnt have a thermometer then,but I will assume the fever to be close to 102F. The fever subsided when I had ibuprofen only to return in the evening. The same story continued yesterday (Monday).However, this morning (tuesday), after an ibuprofen treatment , my fever went down to 97.8F and had been in the range of 98-99.5F (the temperature now as I type) through out the day. Till yesterday, other than the fever, I had no other symptoms. Then while I was sleeping, I noticed by shirt was absolutely drenched to the skin. And then today, I had diarrhea and am noticing a slight swelling of one of my lymphnodes on  my left neck. I have two questions :
1. Have turned myself into an absolute pyscho reading and re-reading the symptoms. Have not slept for more than 2 hours the last two nights.Obviously, there are no excuses to what I have done and I will get tested, but is there any window of possibility that I may not be infected?
2. How long should I wait to be tested.
Your replies will be highly appreciated.
Thank you.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worst Decision of my life
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2014, 06:36:27 PM »
The oral sex was not a risk but the unprotected anal was and you can test at 6 weeks and again at 3 months to confirm it .

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. Most who are infected will test positive by 6 weeks. For various reasons a small number will take longer and that is why we follow the CDC recommendation to test at 3 months for a conclusive negative result.

Your symptoms are not specific to HIV so try not make too much of them . There are many things other than HIV that could be the blame so the only way to know is to test in the window period I gave you above . We do not discuss symptoms so if you are sick go see your doctor and find out why .

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

 anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Offline Joe K

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Re: Worst Decision of my life
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2014, 06:39:02 PM »
Indus,

You did have a risk with the unprotected anal sex and you will need to test.  The time to test is 6 weeks after this incident and then 3 months to confirm the results.  The presence of symptoms cannot tell you if you have HIV, as only testing can do that.  It is somewhat harder to transmit HIV to a top, however there is no way I can predict your status, as my role is solely to help you access risk.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start.  As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV.  Some of the other STDs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!

I have also removed your second question, so you still have 2 more questions.  The fact that you have a cold does not alter my advice.

Joe

Offline indus87769

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Re: Worst Decision of my life
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2014, 08:11:58 PM »
Thank you both for the reply. I know I made a blunder,but now I am repenting to the hilt. Just for my peace of mind,so that I can may be sleep a bit tonight- the fever from ARS, is it chronic or does it go away and come back?I have seen conflicting report on this.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worst Decision of my life
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2014, 08:16:47 PM »
Thank you both for the reply. I know I made a blunder,but now I am repenting to the hilt. Just for my peace of mind,so that I can may be sleep a bit tonight- the fever from ARS, is it chronic or does it go away and come back?I have seen conflicting report on this.

Its a futile use of time to guess why you feel the way you do so we do not discuss symptoms ever . Just concentrate on feeling better and go see your doctor and discuss it with them .

 

Offline Ann

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Re: Worst Decision of my life
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2014, 06:26:08 AM »
Indus,

I'm in complete agreement with everything Joe and Jeff have already told you, but I wanted to add (emphasise) something.

You absolutely do need to test for all the other, MUCH more common and MUCH more easily transmitted STIs. Many of them can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the ONLY way to know is to test.

You can test for most of the other STIs at ten days to two weeks following a risk, but syphilis shares a three month window period with hiv for a conclusive negative result.

A primary syphilis lesion (called a chancre) is painless and unless you see it, you wouldn't know it's there. Syphilis is transmitted through simple skin-to-skin contact - UNLIKE hiv. Syphilis can be transmitted through oral sex and anal sex (as well as vaginal).

Because it's so easily transmitted and so easily over-looked, it's becoming more and more common.The good news is syphilis can be treated and cured, the bad news is if syphilis is left untreated, it will eventually end up killing you.

As the insertive partner in unprotected anal intercourse you were at lower risk for hiv than you would have been if you were the receptive partner. While you do stand a very good chance of testing hiv negative, you DO need to make sure you also test for everything else too.

Don't beat yourself up over this. We all make mistakes - just rectify the mistake by getting a complete sexual health check up and getting any treatment that may be necessary; by making such check ups a regular, routine part of taking care of yourself; and by learning from this experience. USE CONDOMS next time!

Ann




edited for clarity
« Last Edit: March 19, 2014, 06:49:21 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Worst Decision of my life
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2014, 07:07:22 AM »

I had unprotected insertive anal sex with two guys(one clarified he is -ve)


I just re-read your first post and the sentence above jumped out at me and it needs addressing.

You absolutely cannot go by what anyone tells you about their hiv status. Many people only assume they are hiv negative, and unfortunately, some people will lie. The only time you can really trust what someone says about their hiv status is when they tell you that they're hiv positive.

A person may honestly think they're telling you the truth when they say they're negative, but if they're engaging with bareback sex with strangers (that would be you and who knows who else), their last negative hiv test is only any proof that they were still hiv negative six to twelve weeks before they did the test. They could show you a paper with a negative test result that was done that very day, but they could still actually be hiv positive if they've engaged in risky behaviour in the past month or two.

Your best bet is to always use condoms regardless of what someone tells you about their hiv status. You need to do this until such time as you've been in a monogamous relationship for at least three months before you both get complete sexual health check ups -  before making any decisions about stopping condom usage.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and CONSISTENTLY, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Good luck with your testing. Be aware that you only have one free post left before you have to take out a subscription, so please use it wisely.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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