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Author Topic: I need help! Someone to talk to  (Read 10225 times)

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Offline dorjus

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  • Posts: 49
I need help! Someone to talk to
« on: September 24, 2007, 10:00:10 PM »
My name is Doreen and I live in Sayreville. I have been poz for 17 yrs. and haven't ever been sick. My husband died March 24th and soon after I had 3 mini strokes. I go to welfare to try to get help and met a woman who needed a place to stay. I told her I was pos and we moved into an apt. together and I find out she is a craigslist hooker. No problem, I don't judge. In fact, I even helped her make appt. because I lost my job and needed the money.
THEN she brings home a 21 yr. old girl from Alabama and came here to try to get into the porn business. LOL
Now I got pimps threatening me, wives showing up at our apt., and johns coming to the house.
So I say I am out of it and I want the girl to leave. GUESS WHAT SHE DOES? SHE TELLS ME TO LEAVE! So now, I got these health problems, no job, no money, and I am about to be homeless. ALL BECAUSE I TRUSTED HER AND GAVE HER MY LAST FEW DOLLARS. I just need someone to talk to. I am scared and lonely. Please. I am 38. Oh, and I lost my daughter because I couldn't afford to keep her.  :-[ :'(
D

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2007, 10:57:53 PM »
Dorjus~~

Damn!!!!! When I first read your post, I had to walk away for a minute. First, let me say Welcome to the Forums. You have come to the right place for some sage advice sometimes even if it is something you may not want to hear. Second, let me apologize now if I say anything to offend you. It is not meant to be mean but even though I may have a Royal name sometimes my words can be a bit insensitive and boorish. I am a very blunt type of person and usually say what most wouldn't.....Now my 2 cents on the matter...

I understand living alone can be quite expensive. I have just moved into a new place and had to get a room mate. I have known this woman for quite some time. She is 15 yrs older than me and our personalities vibe together quite well. The reason I know this is because like I said, I have known her for awhile and got to know the type of person she is. But my question is what made you decide to do something so unusual when you just met her at the Welfare office? I am really trying to wrap my head around that one. This woman is a complete stranger. Then on top of that she is a hooker!!!! Wow. I hope she at least had the decency not to bring her tricks home. Oh, I see where you said she did...Why did you even put up with that? I mean what about you?You don't know if this woman is a serial killer or what? What if one of her tricks wanted you? She prolly would've pimped you out or at least tried to, poz status or not. This is really blowing my mind here.

Where you are living now, is there a lease? If so, who's name is on it? If yours alone, call the police and have her put out. But in some states if the person has mail coming to that address they consider that person living there. I don't understand why you are putting up with the bullshit, seriously. What do you get for income? You are not on disability? What did the Welfare office tell you. It is hard to answer some of your questions. If the place started out yours as I assume it did, considering your health problems, I would make her and the lil porn princess hit the bricks. I mean where did this chick even come from? Sounds like another ho to me and you are getting played MAJORLY!!!!!!! I can only be so understanding and am not understanding why you are putting up with it.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2007, 11:24:05 PM »
No it is okay. You are completely right. I was desperate for help. Welfare refused me cause I made $20 too much. I didn't know what she did till she was already in the place and yes, she did want me to do it. Maybe she did play me cause I did give her my last 600 to come here and now she brings the other girl here and wants me out. I was desperate for help with my rent at the old place. But yes, I do deserve what you say. I guess it is my own fault. I didn't expect her to bring them here or for wives to show up or for her to bring another hoochie here. Now I am the one having to leave. Thanks for the input.  :)
D

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2007, 12:55:12 AM »
Dorjus

Wow. So, Craigslist has hookers on it. Holy cow. You're teaching me stuff! I'm so naive and meanwhile, the hookers are getting terribly creative.

So, are you out yet? That's unclear in your post. If not, Queen suggested you acting on this if it is your name on the lease. However, makes me wonder if your gloomie roomie would unleash the nastiest john she could convince to make your life difficult.

We need more information before giving you more long distance advice. And, it's only that, some advice. You're the one living there. Sorry you lost your daughter. If you straighten things out, can you get her back? How old is she? Do you communicate with her? Can she be part of your inspiration for change?

Are you seeing your doctor? What kind of work are you in that you make $20 too much to receive welfare? Are you healthy enough to be able to pick up some additional part-time hours somewhere?

Ironically, Craigslist IS a resource for legitimate women roommates who are looking to split the rent and utilities not expanding to become a bordello. So, that's a place you could look for new and affordable rooming opportunities.

Hope to see you post again. Yeah, you made a mistake, but I'm betting you'll never do THAT again.  ;)

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2007, 09:09:50 AM »
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. LOL Well, I feel better today and I am on the lease with her. The other hooker is not. She got her brother to say that she was her daughter so noone would believe me when I told them that she is a hooker. LOL 
The whole thing is pathetic. I talk to my daughter everyday. She is the only thing I have. I am trying to see a doctor and yes I have an appt. for a job interview in a little while. So maybe it will work out.
D

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2007, 11:02:40 AM »
Doreen
Great that you are in daily contact with you daughter!! On all counts, it seems you have things moving forward, fast. Please stay in touch with us and let us know how things go for you.
Em

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2007, 07:10:07 PM »
Will do babe
D

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2007, 12:16:39 AM »
Dorjus~~

You totally misunderstood me if you thought I was saying that you deserve what happens to you. I DID NOT say that at all but you did put yourself in a helluva situation. I am curious to how long the lease is----I hope 6 months and not a year even though 6 months is too long to put up with the bullshit that you are. Are you cool with the landlord at all? Maybe you could explain the situation and see if he had something else available for just you. Let the hooker have the other place to do porn with the little princess and their johns. Or just save up some money, move and leave their asses there. Girl, you definitely need me over there to clean house... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2007, 07:49:05 AM »
Dorjus:
 
Wow.  Your first post kind of blew me away.  I am not one to pull punches, so to speak so I will tell you exactly what I think, taking into account that you're new to these forums and I wouldn't want you to quit posting.

What the hell were you doing shacking up with someone you met at the welfare office, for god's sake.  How old are you?  I'm asking this, because I can probably understand a little easier if you are young yourself.  And I'm 42, so I consider young, probably anything below 35.  I used to be a stripper/hooker when I was 17, and I wouldn't have even allowed any of my fellow strippers living with me. 

I agree with Her Highness, talk to your landlord.  Get that whore that came up from the South out of there, or your place might soon be known as a brothel and be busted.  And I can almost guarantee that if the cops bust the place, you will go down with the ship.  Then you probably won't be talking to your daughter for a very long time. 

Just think of all your options.  I take it because you say you're looking for work, that you're on disability.  I know it's tight being on that and having a place by yourself.  But, is the trade-off worth it?  It sure doesn't sound like it.  Peace of mind is worth more than having a roommate to split the bills with.  You know what you need to do.  Now do it.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2007, 07:56:33 AM »
Hi Betty
Doreen is 38.
Em

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2007, 08:08:07 AM »
Old enough to know better.  Ah well, we all make mistakes I guess.  But Dorjus, you better get that situation under control or you stand to lose a lot. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

  • Guest
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2007, 08:44:17 AM »
i totally agree.  i think u need to change your living arrangements asap for your own sake. good luck

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #12 on: September 28, 2007, 11:22:46 AM »
Just bumping this a little because I am wondering how Dorjus is doing? Anyone heard from her?
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #13 on: September 28, 2007, 06:14:33 PM »
No, but I hope we hear from her soon.  This is starting to really concern me.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #14 on: September 28, 2007, 07:54:26 PM »
Yeah, I hope to hear something too. Maybe she has been in contact with Em since they seem to hit it off. I really hope she is doing something to remedy the situation.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline ubotts

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  • Posts: 347
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2007, 01:29:29 PM »
Damn got to this thread a bit to late..
At least Ulong and others gave this girl some helpful info..
But Iam worried as to where the heck she went..
Hopefully, shes doing the right thing, and if not.. :-\ I don't know
what to say..
I know at times we all have been desperate, but what she did was really a bad judgement ....I know I myself have done some crazyass shit back in the day, and
have paid for it dearly.Hopefully this girl will come back and post.. ???
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2007, 10:48:01 PM »
I am hoping she is ok too. I hope she is able to get out of that situation. It's nothing but stress for her.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline dorjus

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  • Posts: 49
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #17 on: October 03, 2007, 10:43:16 PM »
Hi guys, it's me. Thank you all for your concern. I have decided to go to Florida. I love it there and the last time I was there, even though it was for a short time, I fell in love with it and decided why not go back to the place that made me happy. As for why I took the girl in because I had literally JUST lost my husband on March 24th and being bi-polar and having the 3 mini strokes I was just so desperate. I made a mistake. Now, I am trying to rectify it. I pray God will help me. I miss my husband so much and I am so lonely. I go on these poz sites to try and meet guys, since my husband and I were seperated and he started to try to date, but all they care about is how pretty I am or how skinny I am. I am me, Doreen, with a big beautiful heart. But no, they don't care. They just want the sex. Well, the ones I ran into anyway. But I am trying hard to get out of here and next week I leave. So thank you all. Love ya lots. ;)
D

Offline lovely026

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  • Posts: 4
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2007, 11:08:10 PM »
look iam here for  you my name is anna you can e-mail me at yahoo.com ok i know i have been there for people and got nothing  back ether but rember god has all the answers ok  my yahoo e-mail address : annabell0726652007@yahoo.com ok

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #19 on: October 04, 2007, 03:18:24 AM »
Dorjus~~

Ah, it is good to hear from you, I was getting worried. Where in Florida are you moving to? I use to live in Miami back in the day. If that is where you can be happy then I say GOOD for you. We all make mistakes but I just feel you were preyed upon by some vultures. I am glad you are getting the hell away and starting over where you can be happy. Keep in touch and let us know when you get settled. As far as men, we all have our issues with them, just read the dating thread. You can even vent there with the rest of us..... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #20 on: October 04, 2007, 07:07:05 AM »
Doreen-

Good to hear from you again.  We were wondering what had happened.  I hope you like Florida.  Sorry about your husband and that you have gone through so many physical things.  Please stay in touch with us because we tend to worry when someone posts about a problem then we don't hear from them.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline panda

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #21 on: October 04, 2007, 07:16:09 AM »
I am happy u decided to trying open a new page... there is a sentence in Hebew saying " changing place can change your luck", hope it will catch on you for the best ofcourse...

[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2007, 09:20:34 AM »
Hey Dorjus

Thanks for the PM, the update, the extra info and insight.

Dorjus rhymes with gorgeous!

Well, on that happy note. Have fun packing. Better you than me. I'm still unpacking!!! And I've been here seven years.

Wishing you the best
Em

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2007, 10:21:39 AM »
LOL I got a place in Deland waiting for me. This lady is renting me her house for 600 month. Lr, Dr, Kit, Fireplace, Washer/Dryer. She is helping me cause I told her about my situation. She is even letting me keep the first months rent to furnish or do whatever I need to do with the place. I told her I have Cancer though cause I didn't want to scare her off. Was this wrong?  :D
D

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2007, 10:52:37 AM »
Dorjus

Wrong? You're asking us for value judgments about what you did to get a good place, in a state you like, in short order and with a nice landlady to boot? Are you serious?

No right, no wrong. Glad you found a place so quickly and very glad you posted. Did you have to tell her anything about your health? The only thing you'll face over time is her concern or possibly questions about how your treatment/disease is progressing.

Keep us posted about your newfound path!

Em


Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #25 on: October 07, 2007, 10:57:30 AM »
thanks. I just thought in case she sees my meds when she visits or if I wear the shorts and she sees my skinny legs. LOL She thinks I am in remission. She is so sweet and is really helping me a lot. She is very religous and is doing everything she can to get me settled when I get there.  :)
D

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #26 on: October 07, 2007, 06:55:09 PM »
Dorjus:

Glad to hear the great news!  I hope it's everything you're dreaming of. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #27 on: October 07, 2007, 08:28:24 PM »
Hey DJ

Lots of chicks have skinny legs!

Regarding the meds, any way you can camouflage them? Hide them? Or, just ask her to let you know when she needs access to your place. Or, tell her that because you keep a video security camera or nanny cam running when you're not at home, you hope she'll give you a heads up when you're coming over. Just say a friend gave the camera to you.

Em

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #28 on: October 07, 2007, 08:51:25 PM »
I have to tell ya guys. I am so scared of the move. I am afraid I am going to get there and not find a job in time and fail. Not be able to pay the rent. I LITERALLY AM STARTING OVER. I am nervous. I appreciate all that you guys have been helping me with. I know this is right for me but I am terrified of failing and ending up homeless.
D

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #29 on: October 08, 2007, 06:14:32 AM »
Dorjus, this seems to be something we probably can all relate to...."what if" and imagining the most horrible situation that "can" happen.  Relax.  It sounds like your landlady is doing all she can to help you get started. 

I'm not sure what your job skills are, but I can tell you, I haven't worked in 14 years (been on disability) and I just found a job (although I'm only working part-time, my doc won't let me work full-time).  Which is alright, because I need to stay on disability.  But, I can't imagine that the job market in Florida is that bad that you won't be able to find work.  Maybe when you get down there, you should sign up for public assistance (food stamps etc.) so you have something coming in until you do find work.  It sounds like your landlady will work with you on things like this.  You can always make some kind of payment arrangement with her, if money isn't immediately forthcoming.  Paying something off over time is better than not paying at all, and creditors always appreciate that, whether it be a credit card company or a landlady. 

Just relax and try not to let your mind go to the worst possible case scenario.  Things will work out.  Take care-
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #30 on: October 08, 2007, 10:47:14 AM »
DJ
Just went on monster.com and was looking at Deland. Why not call some of the agencies there like Manpower, Randstad, etc. and get some advance work done over the phone. Ask questions about the job market, how to get in their systems, etc. That will start to settle your mind knowing that you are taking steps to find a job before you arrive.
Em

Offline aserenityseeker

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #31 on: October 09, 2007, 05:08:33 AM »
Dorjus,  I too at times when I have to say I am dealing with cancer issues.( I have had cervical cancer and do watch for it in case it comes back so really not a big lie) sometimes there are situations you have to have an answer and HIV is not an option in most of them. People just are not educated enough yet sad to say  :'(
I just dont bring up cancer after that and if they ask I just say alls holding well and change subject.
 I too agree you should make sure your medications are out of sight as some nosey people might see them and look them up online(have had that done to me before). I keep mine in a tool box when they dont get to hot or cold, ready to go at a moments notice and are locked up safe when I am away. This keeps me sane and then my mind is not worried and running amuck when I am away from home. Just an idea.
 :-*What a huge step you are taking, your go girl..   
Dawn
Positive since: 1993
T-cells: 543
Viral load: Undetectable
Meds: Truvada & Kaletra

Positive, Alive and Seeking Serenity :)

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #32 on: October 09, 2007, 06:45:25 PM »
Thank you.
D

Offline Stuart

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #33 on: October 11, 2007, 08:05:28 AM »
Someone told me about your posted message. If you are in Sayerville, New Jersey, PLEASE SEND ME AN E-Mail . As a 20 year Law Enforcement officer in NJ, I am in contact with that agency daily and have very strong contacts at that Department. I can put you in touch with a Detective from that Agency who would help you. My advice is that contact the agency (leave out the part about helping making appts.) and once there is Police presence, I promise you she will be gone. As far as the pimps go, they are like cockroaches, and the Police are a can of Raid! They will be gone too! Talk to the Detective, advise him of the issue, make it short and sweet, you want her out! You will not allow this any more, and let him deal with her. If I can help, send me a message FRSC@Comcast.net  DO NOT LET THIS GO ON, because it will catch up to YOU, the police do read Craigs List and 60% of the prostitution stings in NJ start from a call to the ad. If you are there when the police finish the investigation and come there, you could be guilty by association, and they may even have you on tape now as you admitted. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, it is time for you to take action on her, before they take action on you both!

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #34 on: October 11, 2007, 09:08:53 AM »
Well, the other 2 girls are gone and now it is my roommate and me. I am leaving for Florida on sunday so I am not helping her anymore. She does what she does and I cannot judge her on it. If something happens to her, so be it. But come Sunday I am so out of here. Hopefully. lol :)
D

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #35 on: October 11, 2007, 02:23:13 PM »
Good for you, girl......
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #36 on: October 12, 2007, 05:57:45 AM »
Stuart, I don't know if you're male or female. If you're male, you're not allowed to post here.  If you're female, why don't you introduce yourself to us so we can get to know a little bit about you.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #37 on: October 12, 2007, 08:00:43 AM »
Best of luck to u Dorjus. Hope Florida's just fantastic, breathe new air make a new start and all..

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #38 on: October 12, 2007, 08:57:13 AM »
Thanks but let me ask you all something. My husband passed away on March 24th of 2007 and when he did we were seperated. But only for such a short time and I still loved him so much. But 6 months have gone by and it is still hard. I cry a lot and the thought of spreading his ashes in the ocean is killing me cause I don't want to let him go. But if I keep him won't it be weird if EVER I meet someone? Any advice and how long does grief last?
D

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #39 on: October 12, 2007, 06:30:10 PM »
I guess that would be a personal choice, Dorjus. I still have my Dad's ashes, well some of them, some we spread in the lake. I don't see myself getting rid of the rest of them until it is my time to go.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #40 on: October 13, 2007, 07:26:10 AM »
Dorjus, we all have our own time to let someone we love go.  I lost my first husband in 1989.  He wasn't cremated though.  But I went to his grave faithfully for the longest time.  Now I hardly go at all.  He was physically and mentally abusive, but, hey, I loved him.  It's just a personal choice.  If you don't feel that you are ready to put him in the ocean yet, then don't.  If you start dating someone, well, that's down the road.  I know one of the things I have problems with is projection.  You know, thinking a certain thing is definitely going to happen in the future and letting my whole thought process become consumed with whatever I am so sure is going to happen.  Don't worry about it now.  Just relax and get ready for your move.  I'm sure this will be good for you.  Oh, and I am very sorry about your loss.  I hope you find strength in your new destination. :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #41 on: October 13, 2007, 08:55:29 AM »
Thank you. I love all of you.  ;D
D

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #42 on: October 13, 2007, 02:43:50 PM »
Hi Dorjus

Regarding your ex's cremains, do as you wish---keep them; keep some and spread some; or, spread all of them. It's a creative process for you. If he didn't leave you with express wishes, then you decide.

You asked how long grief lasts. There is an average that is shared with those who attend grief support groups, etc. and it's that for every year of marriage you're advised to factor one month of grieving. For example, married (and I lump into that common law or live-in) for 12 years plan to be working through the grieving process for a year.

I've actually watched this play out closely to the estimated timeframe with several friends. Again, it's just an average---your time could be shorter or longer.

Em

Offline noahsark

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #43 on: October 14, 2007, 01:54:14 PM »
hi Doreen.  I'm Lisa, been poz for 17 yrs.  Lost my husband in '93.  I am 45yrs old.  You sound a little gullible, very much like myself.  I love to help people out too.  I've taken people in and have been taken in.  Sometimes been "taken" and sometimes been blessed.  I was on my own in Fl off and on since 17 and even was with people in Deland for awhile.  Don't remember much about it though but alot of pine trees and not looking like typical beach front Fl.  It was nice though.  Do you know people there?  A friend?  I hope so.  I am in Ga now.  I am originally from Nj-Clifton, near passaic and patterson and newark-but clifton was a lot more suburban.  Anyway the guys in the south love northern girls and the accent.  But most are still just guys-looking for sex.  Like the guys you've met already.  If you have nothing against going to church I'd suggest going.  I'll bet you will be invited by your landlady.  Some christians like to take on hard luck people like a project; you know get them saved and be the do gooder.  It happened to me.  I was raised catholic but found a good simple faith with  the born again believers. I had always been a rebel and a biker sort of girl with the drug seen and a dancer, etc.  But I'll tell you, when I got diagnosed 2 weeks after finding out I was pregnant with my daughter and told to have an abortion by the docs-well the faith I accepted back at 18 sure came in handy.  God is so forgiving and looking back I can pretty well see how He had a hand on me the whole time I was away from Him.  Maybe give yourself time before you start dating down there.  Ibet there will be plenty of opportunities but feel the water first.  Get securely established and I bet your landlady has the same heart you did when you took in the girl from welfare.  It takes a lot sometimes to be humble enough to accept help when you are usually the one giving it.  But I hope this woman is truly a God send and will really be able to help you.  Still keep up your guard, God doesn't mean for us to walk in blind faith and even those with the best intentions may not know what is best for us.  I hope surely that you can work on getting back your daughter while you are there.  I do have some friends in Clearwater  and in Lakeland.  If you get in a real bind.  At least they might can advise you or even help.  I am sort of isolated and need some friends too.  I am also bipolar and have other med related aches and pains.  Anyway, anything I can do , please keep in touch.  Seems like you've got alot of support from all the great ladies here.  Best of luck to you, Lisa

Offline dorjus

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #44 on: October 17, 2007, 08:40:35 AM »
Hey Lisa. WOW. We have so much in common. Actually when I found out I was 20 and found I WAS PREGNANT 2 WEEKS BEFORE. Isn't that freaky. lol Anyway, I went to join the army and they said," Congratulations you are pregnant,". Then 2 weeks later tell me I have a horrible disease and my family suggested I abort the baby. Now she is about to turn 16 and is NEGATIVE. WOOHOO. So as of now I am in Daytona Beach renting a room in a house with 2 other roommates. It is not bad at all. Couldn't see myself moving too far from the beach. Well, I definately would love to keep in touch since you  have so much in common with me. My email is giantkitty69@msn.com and my im is bxnglvr69. See ya chicky. lol
D

Offline BT65

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #45 on: October 18, 2007, 05:49:39 AM »
Hey dorjus.  Glad to see that you made it to Florida.  I hope everything keeps going your way!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline emeraldize

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Re: I need help! Someone to talk to
« Reply #46 on: October 18, 2007, 07:33:37 AM »
So, it's Dorjus of Daytona for now, is it? Has a nice ring to it. Best of luck. Keep us posted...literally.

 


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