Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 17, 2014, 11:42:06 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 620107
  • Total Topics: 46722
  • Online Today: 282
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 5
Guests: 170
Total: 175

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" AIDSmeds forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future AIDSmeds Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: what have I done?  (Read 4849 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
what have I done?
« on: September 22, 2007, 04:06:07 PM »
Hi i'm posting this because i'm extremely frightened at the moment. it looks as though theres much to be taught within these boards so hopefully you will all hear out my situation and help me with some honest advice. i'm not looking for anything sugar coated.i just want it straight.

here are the details of MY situation.

#1 - with a woman of unknown hiv status last night. received oral sex with no condom, i'm a male btw.
prior to the oral sex we engaged in some rough vigorous making out. this make out session probably damaged our lips and would in turn expose my penis to blood in the womans mouth. why i did not think of this before letting her go down on me i don't know. i feel like a fool.

as she was performing oral on me it was also quite rough and may have torn my foreskin slightly as she used her hand at the same time. this in turn would expose blood in her mouth to an open wound on my penis as well as the urethra.

up until now i had never considered getting oral sex from a woman to be a risk. maybe because i was told that it wasn't possible or maybe because i had never thought of it.

#2 - as we were engaging in foreplay the woman was sucking on my fingers and at one point bit down on one. her teeth caused a break in the skin which bled. this was right above the nail. the wound was not deep. just a surface wound but it would still expose her saliva which may have contained blood to my bloodstream.

ok so those are my two main worries. essentially small cuts in her mouth letting her blood come in contact with my penis that was treated very roughly and with possibly torn foreskin AND the bite on my finger.

i hope all this is clear. please let me know if i haven't made proper sense.

so as the forum says, am i infected? thanks alot.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2007, 04:21:11 PM »
nat,

Nothing you describe was a risk for hiv infection. Saliva is not infectious - in fact it contains over a dozen different proteins and enzmes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Please read the Welcome Thread and follow the link to the Transmission lesson so you can better understand what is and isn't a risk.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do NOT need to test over this incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2007, 04:26:21 PM »
hi ann i have most definitely NEVER had sex unprotected. just oral sex. and this has never dawned on me aside form now because of the rough nature of the kissing. surely i figured that there would be cuts in her mouth from this. my teeth hit against her lips and this may have caused damage and bleeding.

is this still not a risk even with some of her blood touching the bite/my penis with tears?

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2007, 04:35:45 PM »
Nat,

No, there's still no risk no matter what sort of what-iffs you can come up with. Neither kissing nor getting blown are risks for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected through kissing or getting sucked and you won't be the first. Really, you won't.

Make sure you always use condoms for intercourse and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned. Make sure you're using them properly by reading the links in my signature line. The first one has videos! ::)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2007, 04:40:40 PM »
hi ann i'll go review the information you've suggested

so even if there may have been some blood in her mouth or on her teeth as she bit my finger i should not worry? is it not enough blood?

oh and something else i got an email notification of a message somebody sent me here that says to go give blood because they test it for diseases? i don't know how to check these messages. but in the email it shows the message content. what's this about? how can i check my messages?

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2007, 04:52:32 PM »
nat,

You can't see your messages yet because you haven't posted enough times yet. PMs are a privledge here, not a right.

May I ask who sent you this PM/email? What was the username? It's important that you let me know.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2007, 04:55:49 PM »
It says

"You have just been sent a personal message by blessedu on AIDSmeds/POZ Community Forums"

so it is safe to say i have no need for a test or that pep or concern over what i've brought to the attention of this board with the oral sex or the bite on my finger with the possibility of blood contact?

thankyou again ms. ann

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2007, 05:06:23 PM »
Thank you Nat, I thought it might be that person.

Donating blood is not the way to discover your hiv status. You need to go and test at a recognised testing center for that - but you don't NEED to test over this incident. You did NOT have a risk.

Saliva is not infectious. Even if there were blood present, saliva contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. There's plenty written about this in the Am I Infected forum - do some reading.

You did NOT have a risk. If you did, I'd tell you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Carelessness!
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2007, 02:39:51 PM »
thanks alot for all your assistance.

i'm afraid that i have returned with another situation that i'm certain has put me at risk.

2 nights ago i was with a woman of unknown hiv status. during foreplay one of my cuticles suffered a scratch that i did not examine at that very moment. i also had very short nails and while in bed the flesh was pulled slightly away from the nail. i then engaged in some touching and deep fingering inside her.

i have done some reading and have seen threads that discuss fingering as not being a risk with scrapes and scabs.

BUT here is the scary part, afterwards i looked at my cuticle and there was dry blood where it had been scratched and some dry blood under my nail. the cut on my cuticle was like a small scrape about 1mm wide. but it did bleed.

this means i was fingering her as i was bleeding exposing open bleeding wounds directly to her vaginal fluids. this is more than just a scrape on my finger. i'm freaking out over this now. i should have stopped to check the condition of my fingers 1st.

ms. ann if you could please let me know once again what your opinion on this situation is. it would mean the world. thanks alot.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2007, 02:59:49 PM »
No one has ever become infected from fingering. It is simply not a viable form of contact insofar as HIv transmission is concerned. Cuts on the fingers and cuticles heal almost instantly, sealing the body and protecting it against pathogens. Unless, of course, you are a hemopheliac - but even then, I have found zero evidence that HIV transmission has ever occured in this manner.

In short, you simply do not get HIv from fingering.

I urge you to read - or perhaps re-read - the LESSONS on transmission. Please understand that a great deal of thought went into the creation of that section of this website. Were there ANY caveats to the means by which HIv can and can not be transmitted, they would absolutely be found there.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2007, 03:08:11 PM »
thanks jkin.

what worries me is the contact of deep vaginal fluid with a fresh bleeding wound. i have been through the lessons but this scenario is outside that realm.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2007, 03:12:38 PM »
Actually, that scenario is not outside the realm of the lessons. Deep vaginal fluids are the thick mucousal fluids in and around the cervix. You simply cannot penetrate a vagina that deeply with your finger. And even if you could, your finger was not a fresh, bleeding wound. It was a torn cuticle. Neither significant CD4 nor HIv-sensitive dendritic cells were present.

If you had cut the entire tip off of your finger and then placed it as deeply as  you could, there might be a small risk for infection. Even then, you would make medical history.

Fingering is not a risk for HIv infection. Not even with a torn cuticle.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2007, 03:16:32 PM »
not even when the cuticle is freshly torn and slightly bleeding? i mean no it was not bleeing as if i had cut my finger off. but there was blood which had dried and crusted when i looked after.

this goes for both my cuticle cut and the nail bed. no chance even though my fingers were deep in her?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2007, 03:21:31 PM »
As I mentioned, if there were any caveats to the notion of fingering insofar as HIv transmission were concerned, the lessons would discuss them. Please understand that this issue is raised quite frequently (torn cuticles, paper cuts, bitten/chewed fingeernails, etc) and the science simply does not support HIv transmission through this vector.

There is no risk for HIv transmission through fingering.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2007, 03:23:22 PM »
i understand. i just thought that perhaps that was all under the assumption that the cuts were not very fresh and that they had had time to heal a little. ya know?

have i any cause to test after the window period or anything?

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #15 on: September 30, 2007, 03:25:30 PM »
Also how come it says that

it is theoretically possible that someone who has an open cut or fresh abrasion on his or her finger or hand can be infected with HIV if coming into contact with blood in the anus or vagina or vaginal secretions

?

i see that it has not been DOCUMENTED but if in theory it may happen does that not mean that eventually it might?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #16 on: September 30, 2007, 03:29:09 PM »
From what you described, there is no reason to test at all over the incident you describe.

HIV is one of the more difficult STDs to transmit, particularly from female to male, even in unprotected vaginal intercourse.

As part of any sexually active adult's healthcare, I recommend twice-annual STD panels, including an HIv test. If such a panel will ease your fear, then getting tested would certainly be an asset.

I do not suspect you will make medical history, however.

None of the activities you have mentioned in this thread carry a risk for HIv transmission.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #17 on: September 30, 2007, 03:37:24 PM »
i appreciate you taking the time to speak with me about this.

my mind just associates blood contact with sexual organs during deep fingering as a logical means of transmission. maybe this is because of how everybody assumes transmission is as simple as contact with a cut. so this kind of thinking gets passed around incorrectly.

i just want to put these things behind me and not have to worry that there was a chance i was at risk. and if i was i just want to hear it straight up.

would you say there was even a miniscule risk? or is it safe to say no risk 100%?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #18 on: September 30, 2007, 03:42:10 PM »
Were there a miniscule risk, I would certainly have mentioned it. As would the LESSONS. There are no caveats. There was no HIv risk whasoever.

I am sorry that I was unable to assuage your fear. I sincerely with you the best.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #19 on: September 30, 2007, 03:45:02 PM »
no i promise you have helped a lot. the whole theoretical risk thing just sort of made me worry a little. but if the experts on these boards say that i was not at risk and do no need to test then i will take that to heart.

thanks alot once again.

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2007, 01:19:11 PM »
hello experts.

i have another situation which happened to me last night that may fall under the risky category. all your expert opinions are very much welcome and appreciated.

was with a girl of unknown hiv status, after some rough kissing and biting, we used a bit of spit on each other. when she spit on my lips some of it went into my eye. if her mouth was bleeding a little it would have meant some blood went directly to my eye. how at risk am I? it says on the cdc that this may be a risk.

thanks alot for your responses. i'm so grateful for your help.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2007, 01:38:15 PM »
nat,

Not only is saliva not infectious, it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. For blood in your eye to post any threat, it would have to be copious amounts of fresh blood - not a little bit in saliva.

We have already told you about saliva not being infectious. If you continue posting about saliva, you will be given a time out. If you want to know why, read the posting guidelines in the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #22 on: October 13, 2007, 01:41:32 PM »
if the wounds in her mouth were recent then would that not make them fresh? i understand that saliva poses no threat to me. i'm just worried about any blood that may have been present. how much would be necessary to pose a risk? thankyou for your patience and help in this, ann.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,190
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #23 on: October 13, 2007, 01:58:27 PM »
It would take quite a bit of blood. More than you could deal with. You would not be guess had there been blood involved. It would be very noticeable.

Offline nathannas

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2007, 01:59:21 PM »
thing is rod is that it was very dark, so perhaps I would not have seen the blood.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: what have I done?
« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2007, 02:12:44 PM »
Nat,

Saliva is not infectious and you did not have a risk.

We're not getting through to you and so I see no point in discussing this further. I'm giving you that time out I warned you about. The purpose of this time out is to encourage you to seek counseling in order to learn how to deal with your hiv anxieties. We cannot help you with that here.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be banned permanently, no questions asked.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.