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Author Topic: What can I add???  (Read 2680 times)

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Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
What can I add???
« on: September 19, 2007, 09:07:54 PM »
As others have mentioned, the weekend was fantastic.  Everyone who worked to put it together deserves commendation.

I too experienced that significant feeling of sadness as I left the BART station heading for the plane on Monday morning. I wished I would have planned an extra day.

For me, the weekend brought so many different feelings to the surface.  This was the first time I'd been out with a group of people who were fighting the same virus as I am.  I had a very special feeling of belonging that I hadn't felt in a long time.  Everyone was so easy nice and open.  I had lots of significant conversation.  And yes, I had some tears as I flew back to St. Louis.  But I also have some fantastic memories that make me smile.  The CD compilation that Dennis put together is full of fantastic memories.  All of those songs will now take on new meaning for me.

The weekend also provided me with an opportunity to do some of my own soul searching.  I had become somewhat of a jaded person.  This weekend I realized that a lot of things come down to me.  In my mind I was blaming others for some of the failed relationships and even the situation that led to my infection.  But this weekend gave me a somewhat different perspective on life.  I'm the one that can make a difference for me.    I had allowed myself to become somewhat of a loner.  But this time I really  enjoyed being around people. I enjoyed the social interaction.  I enjoyed exploring the city with someone rather than alone.  I enjoyed making some very special memories and enjoyed sharing some special times that made me realize some of what I've been missing.  Thanks to all of you for helping me see some things I hadn't seen before.  Thanks to those of you who made me feel special and accepted.  And particular thanks to someone who helped me to realize I need to take some risks (good ones) again.

My interactions here on the boards are of a different nature now that I know the faces, names, and personalities of many of you.  You are a very special group of people.

Thanks to you all!

BTW, you probably can't read the t-shirt but it was a souvenir provided by a super sweet guy and says "City by the Bay, San Francisco, California".   
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2007, 09:28:26 PM »
Thank you for your post, David, I felt a lot of this too.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2007, 09:32:46 PM »
What the hell David, you didn't say you were single.  ;) You and I could have spent a month in SF talking about home remodeling. You're a great guy that never needs to be alone. I still want your weather equipment though. :D If conditions are right I'll see you again.

Rodney

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,648
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2007, 10:01:20 PM »
Very nicely put David.  You said a lot.

I listened to the CD again this afternoon while baking cookies.  I love it. I  hear the song then I have to see who requested it.  Then I start dancing to the beat and, of course, think of that person. 

It's a nice memory.

robert
..........

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2007, 10:49:20 PM »
Milker, I expected to have a good time, but I didn't expect it to impact me like it did.  I'm glad...  I think it was something I needed to do.

And yes Rodney, single... single for too long...  and probable because I had some things to deal with.  I think this weekend moved me in the right direction.  So many beautiful people in all ways. If I give in and buy the wireless weather stuff I'll send you my "hand me downs."  LOL

Yes Robert, so many nice memories.  I loved the CD too...   Some of the songs I'd never heard and they will be now all be special to me.
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2007, 09:13:34 AM »
David

What a wonderful post, you have said so many of the things that have made these gatherings special for me too. 

RAB   :-*

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2007, 12:30:30 PM »
RAB,

I'll always remember that you were the first person to welcome me to my first AMG as I was wandering around the streets of San Francisco and happened upon the back door of the Powell.   I knew at that moment that I had made the right decision in attending and that it was going to be a wonderful weekend.  Thanks!
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline Ric Wilke

  • Member
  • Posts: 573
  • I joined AIDSmed.com 10/2002.
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2007, 09:27:02 PM »
Hey David,

It was wonderful to meet you.  Your post reminds me about what AMG is all about.  It's one reason that it is a "Gathering" and not a more structured "Conference". 

That you met RAB first is not a surprise.  That's who he is and why he is loved by so many of us.

Hugs David.  See you again, Ric

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2007, 12:09:44 AM »
Ric,

It was great to meet you too.  I had no clue what to expect when I decided to come to the gathering.  I was told that everyone was so open and accepting and that I shouldn't worry about my shyness.  I doubted that, but after being there I can say it is absolutely true.  I like the AMG just like it is.  I think it provides a lot of what many of us need. 

I knew the moment that I met RAB that everything was going to be okay. 

The weekend turned out to be way more than I expected
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,105
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: What can I add???
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2007, 03:56:48 AM »
Hi David,

Thank you for putting this on paper.
The love and outpour of human kindness during the AMG is exceptional.
We should all realise that and at the same time cherish it in our hearts, when we feel down.

I am happy that we would all pulled a tiny little bit to get your heart open up again.

That is, my friend, called LOVE.

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

 


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