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hi new at this and alone

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hi everyone i was diagnosed  poz on august 29 i have been with my partner for 12 years he has been poz before we met..
now that i need him the most he is not there for me im all alone... i have not been the perfect partner but if we been together for so long i cant be that bad ..anyway this is whats going.  he goes out and returns when he wants i cant ask were he was or were he is going if i do it just makes him angry with me.. now i sleep all alone and we dont even speak i was hopping that he would understand what I'm going thru. for  my first  visit to the  hiv doc he tells me that they going to find out that a have aids and im going to die really f up i feel more alone then ever i think how about if the meds dont work on if i get sick can i count on him..i have been reading some of what other new diagnosed have posted and the repleis they get ..they are very helpfull makes me feel that im not alone so i decided to post my own ...i dont know what to do 

Sounds like it is time for you to see this as a wake up call.  Let's hope it is not a aids diagnosis, but there are a lot of medications available if one does not work another one will I am sure.  Hang tough, D

i just think some  one that been with me for 12years should not say u have aids ..i will never say something like that not even to my worse enemy specially when u are poz and know how it can be for some people

  I personally am in a relationship for 12 years also. Mine is fine and my partner supports me and even takes me to doctors appointments and gets some of my meds. In your relationship I would have sent my partner to hell. What good is he bringing to you if he doesn't support you or help you out while going through that adaptation fase with hiv that everyone goes through. Being together is still loving each other and he should be giving you words of support and not that you are going to die from aids. He has no faith nor respect towards you for saying that. I have been positive for 21 years and I'm doing fine taking my meds. No one dies immediately unless they are wasted from using drugs and malnutrition. Please, love yourself more than your habit of being with your partner because for less reasons than that I have almost told my partner to end our relationship. He quickly changes his attitude and becomes humble once again. We don't live together and besides, I am usually the one who carries myself to the docs appointments most of the time. I am not afraid to be alone and I don't depend on my partner to do everything for me. He has a job to attend and studies to complete and I am not an intruder in his daily chores. Sometimes it's better to be alone than in a sour relationship that can depress you and make your stress level rise and affect your health. Think wisely whats best for you and do not be afraid to make changes that will benefit you in the future (especially now that you are worried of your health). Sorry for being so straight forward but I hate people who just bring on nasty comments to those who are concerned with their health or insecure about being alive and healthy in the future. This cat has a loose tongue!

Andy Velez:
Nene, one step at a time. First of all, although it's an unhappy circumstance that brings you here, we're still glad you found your way to this site. So welcome.

I know it's hard to do when you were hoping and expecting for a different response from your partner, but I would urge you to put that aside for the timebeing. The most important thing for you now is having a doctor with whom you can form a good partnership and who will regularly monitor your numbers. Gradually you're going to learn a lot -- and there's no rush. Some of the lessons here on the site should prove helpful about various subjects. Read them and if you have questions just ask. In fact you're welcome here to ask anything you need to and to bring up anything you want to talk about.

Focus for now on taking good care of your health and that includes good nutrition and exercise. Things that seem overwhelming now may after some time begin to seem less so.

You're always welcome here. You're going to find a great bunch of people who have been where you are and who are generous with lending support and giving information.



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