HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Looking for some logical advice for a possible irrational mind...

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dame:
Hey all.

I'm new to posting on this website, but not new to reading, and rereading forum postings over and over again. Ann and the other experts here are great.

I know that my situation may sound similar to others, but I'd like to express my concerns in my own words, just like every other anxious soul.

I am a bisexual male, and I am worried that my sexual behavior has been risky enough to catch HIV.

About a year and a half ago, I messed around with another guy. There was no actual penetration, but he did rub his genitals around my buttocks area, and around my anus. This was without a condom. He also tried to penetrate, but I did not let him...and I'm pretty sure he did not 'get in'. No oral sex was involved.I think it's very possible that his precum made its way into me. This was a one time event, and the guy said he did not have any STD's...but you never know. 2 days after the ecnouter I felt terrible...all of the common ARS symptoms. I was tested two weeks later after this encounter for everything...all negatives. I am aware of the HIV testing window. 2 weeks after that...I had a good week and a half bout with diarrhea, heavy fatigue...that is where my fear and obsession with HIV began. I lived with extreme guilt from there on after. I've read constantly about not relying on symptoms, but I'm sure many understand where I'm coming from.

Move ahead: About a year ago, I messed around with another guy. Again, there was no penetration, but heavy frottage. I engaged in this activity with this guy for probably 5 times. No oral was involved. He did place his genitals on my anus from time to time and rubbed around...no penetration. I know everyone has precum, so again, I began obsessing with the possibility of HIV transmission. One time, this guy did ejaculate, and his ejaculate was around my buttocks, and could have been around my anus.

I have not been tested since, but I plan to this October. I have been terrified for awhile now, and have a slight dependence on Xanax to calm me down. So without the sugar coating, I am a total mess. I feel that I am positive, but am too afraid to get tested...but i will.

So experts, I know I may be another redundant poster, but I would really like to know what you think my risks are from this behavior. What is the risk of precum/ ejaculate on or around the anus without penetration?( I include both scenarios b/c I am not sure about what really might have occurred.) I have not engaged in ANY form of sexual activity since these events, and I have actually pushed a woman that I truly care about away, because I feel like...well that's hard to explain in words.

Please write anything you might think of. I know that I need to get tested to matter what is said, but like many others, it helps to hear some perspectives during pre-testing phases. I apologize in advance if this post is disorderly. My mind is fixated with fear, and it affects everything I do.

Thanks,
D :'(

Matty the Damned:
Dame,

Having someone rub his knob over your butt-cheeks and bunghole is not a risk in terms of HIV. Nevertheless there are other STD's out there which are far more prevalent and transmissible than HIV so you might want to take the time to arrange an STD screen with your doctor.

In fact all sexually active people should have a full STD screen at least once a year. Twice is better. A full screen will include but is not limited to an HIV antibody test. Please note that I'm not recommending you have an HIV test because of the activity you refer to above, but just because it's part of a full screen and it's a good habit to get into.

So if you come back in here asking "why would Matty the Damned mention testing but say I had no risk" I'll smack you between the eyes with a spoon. Got it? ;)

Even though you claim to have red our forums extensively I'm still going to suggest that you take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

The issue for you is more about fear and guilt relating to your sexual behaviour and identity than one of a real HIV risk. I think you should speak to a counsellor about those issues.

Cheers,

MtD

dame:
Thanks Matty. I will continue to read. I guess I just am uneducated about HIV because I don't understand why my activity is not a risk. If precum and ejaculate creep inside through a crevice of some sort...why not? Thanks again...I'll try to get some sleep( doubtful) and see if anyone has anything else to say in the morning.


D

Matty the Damned:
It's cool D.

HIV is transmitted inside the body, ie in the vagina (at the top near the cervix) or in the rectum where the virus is likely to find the specific cells it needs to mount a successful infection.

These sorts of cells are just not found on the buttocks or the outer surface of the anus. And before you ask, yes you would be aware if this crafty devil had managed to slip his schlong up your chute so the fact you didn't notice anything means he didn't.

In future when fooling around with other boys it might be wise if make a lad cover up before he puts his peeny anywhere near your pucker. More for peace of mind than anything else.

MtD

dame:
Just for the sake of other opinion: Ann and Andy, what do you think? When I get my test is there even a possibility of HIV based on what I have written?

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