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Author Topic: Worried, Please help  (Read 2197 times)

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Offline negative

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Worried, Please help
« on: September 18, 2007, 09:48:47 AM »
I have a gf who is a single woman. We had unprotected sex 4-5 times last month (Aug 10-12). she had period then.  She had a boyfriend before me and she claimed she had last sex with him was last november.. and most time they used condom but there may had some time no condom but the man did not penetrate and there was no release. She had 4 more bfs before but she had negative test results after all.
She has been feeling allergic type of sick (very bad leg, arm, back  pain) in the summer and fall. always sensitive to sound and light. she said it was like that last year. her doctor said it is allergy.
I am so worried.  do I need a test?

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2007, 09:51:56 AM »
Neg,

The ONLY way you or your girlfriend will know your status is to get tested. Symptoms are meaningless. The thing that DOES count is that you've both been having unprotected intercourse and you both need to test.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

A test three months past your last incident of unprotected intercourse will be conclusive.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline negative

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Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2007, 09:56:42 AM »
Now I am really scared. We have been both negative. my last test was late 2003. hers was July 2006.  since then, I had no risk, she had only one boyfriend for short term.
do you think I have high risk? do i need tested now?  aug10 to now is 5 weeks..   scared

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2007, 10:15:08 AM »
neg,

If either of you have been having unprotected intercourse since your last negative tests, then yes, you've been at risk and you need to test. Testing is the only reliable way to know your hiv status.

While the odds are in your favour of testing negative, you still need to test.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline negative

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Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2007, 10:19:22 AM »
Thanks ann.
I am so worried now....
I only had unprotected sex with her for 4-5 times in three days. she had a few with her ex in 5 days.
How much risk I have?  low?
When is the best time to get tested?  now or wait a few more weeks. sex was aug 12.   I am stressed//

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2007, 10:22:46 AM »
Neg,

A risk is a risk is a risk. And you had one. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus, but that doesn't mean you should be going around having unprotected intercourse with people whose hiv status you do not know.

As I already told you, the odds are in your favour of testing negative. But, you have had a risk and you do need to test.

The soonest you should test is six weeks, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by then. A six week negative rarely changes, but MUST be confirmed at three months. Only three months is conclusive.

Save  yourself this worry in future and use condoms. Every time, no exceptions.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline negative

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Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2007, 09:59:03 AM »
I had a serious discussion with my girlfriend. She was very mad because i didn't trust her. She said She does NOT have HIV!!! period!   But she will get tested just to show me a proof because she loves me.  I am still so worried these days, maybe I still don't trust her.   She is well educated professional woman (PHD), and seems know lot about HIV.
Like I described earlier, we had unprotected sex for 4 days (~8times).   how much odds of the bad things happen?  I am so worried, please help.
God bless me!!!

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2007, 10:31:13 AM »
Neg,

The ONLY way to know YOUR OWN hiv status is for YOU to test. You simply cannot go by someone else's result to know your own.

Well educated people get diagnosed with hiv all the time. You cannot go by what you think you know about a person's sexual history or by how healthy, wealthy or educated they are. Hiv is no respector of social constructs.

Although you are most likely to test negative, the only way to know for sure is to get tested yourself. Please learn from this and make sure you are using condoms and using them correctly in future.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline negative

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worried
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2008, 01:59:07 PM »
I went to a "massage" place in china. the girl gave me a full body lick (mainly at back) with her mouth. I had some abrasion on my back and I am afraid she touched it.  Finally she put a condom on me and I fxxked her from both side.  later I took out and checked the condom and saw it was ok. I even poured some water to do a leak test and it seemed there was no leak.  but I am still worried.   I don't know why.  do i need a test?  thanks for advice

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Worried, Please help
« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2008, 02:08:42 PM »
neg,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

You don't need to test over this specific incident. Saliva is not infectious so it doesn't matter where she licked you.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. You did NOT have a risk.

Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection.

Please re-read your entire thread for a refresher course in hiv prevention.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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