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Author Topic: Chickened Out  (Read 2635 times)

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Offline purplerain

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  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Chickened Out
« on: July 06, 2006, 02:15:28 AM »
Hello Family
Had my first doctors appointment Mon. the 3rd since finding out.  So I was gonna get my counts and physical and chest ex rays etc, had all my questions written down and everything.  Now I have always been the type of person who only went 2 the doctor if I thought I was dying so maybe it's just the thought of going 2 doctors multiple times a year and going to see the therapist and my A.S.O. and so on and so forth that did it but I freaked and I didn't go.  Couldn't even pick up the phone 2 cancel I just didn't want 2 think about it.


I did make myself call today 2 reschedule and the lady wanted 2 schedule me 2 meet with a nurse practitioner this Fri instead of the I.D. doc I was originally supposed 2 see.  I politely declined figuring that it was important 2 start this off with a Doctor that I could get 2 know and if compatible continue 2 see rather then see someone new every time.
I feel bad 4 missing the appointment and I feel like I wasted their time by not even calling.  I have these visions of someone out there who really needed 2 get in 2 see the Doc and here I am throwing it away. Truth is I know that keeping up with doctors is going 2 be very tricky 4 me and I am going 2 miss some appointments so at the same time I am kicking my ass ,I feel like I have the right 2 be freaking the fuck out and everyone around me is just going 2 have 2 accept the fact that there are going 2 be days where I do some strange shit.  Hell it's only been a couple of weeks.

Anyway they rescheduled me 4 the 24th of this month and if it kills me I am going damnit LOL Wish me luck

HUGZ JAG

Thank U 4 giving me a place 2 go and by reading your posts letting me know I am not alone




tendai

  • Guest
Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2006, 04:21:29 AM »
maybe if u had a close friend or something they can go with you for moral support and make sure u dont chicken out at the last minute. good luck

Offline purplerain

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  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2006, 05:22:28 AM »
I'm scared enough as it is just having 2 talk 2 the doc LOL, I would have a hard time speaking honestly (sex life and what not) with someone else in the room. 


JAG

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2006, 05:34:45 AM »
purplerain, the doctors are there for your health. The only thing I was asked was if I was active or not. They don't dig into you sexual history, they don't place blame. It's all medical. Yes, you should have called and rescheduled, so that someone else could have taken your place.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2006, 06:28:37 AM »
Jag,

Having a friend go with you to the doctor is an excellent idea. That person does NOT have to go in to the actual appointment with the doctor with you, they can just sit with you in the waiting room for moral support. That support can be priceless, especially if you end up with a long wait.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline purplerain

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  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2006, 06:45:54 AM »
Thanks 4 the idea's

Offline Christine

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Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2006, 11:46:32 AM »
Hi Jag,
When I was first diagnosed, I had a huge amount of anxiety about going to the doctor. I would miss appointments too. I would get so scared that I would hide in my bedroom closet, sobbing, and shaking. My husband would gently pull me out, and sometimes I could go to to the appointments, and sometimes I would not.

I did not go to a therapist at that time, and looking back I really needed to. Talk therapy and xanax, or atavan would have helped tremendously.

Having someone go with you for morale support, drive you to the appointments, sitting with you in the waiting room can really help. They do not have to go into the exam room with you.

Hang in there. It does get better with time. I have a great nurse coordinator that I see along with my doctor, so perhaps going to see the nurse might be beneficial.
Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline naftalim

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Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2006, 12:04:32 PM »
I think that everyone goes through these phases in some fashion. I was diagnosed a year ago and have been on Meds since then. I look forward to my visits with the Doctor, they are comforting, and they make me feel taken care of. Certainly getting positve lab results also helps. It helps that I am in a study run by my Doctor.

My concern is that if you have difficulty in keeping appointments, will you be disciplined enough to maintain a meds regimen should you get to that.

At first I thought my life was over but as time went on, I feel that there are still many opportunities and challenges.

So, try not to look at the Doctors visits as confirmations of your infection, but as confirmations of your working to achieve good healh, mentally and physically.

Offline Teresa

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Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2006, 12:36:37 PM »
When hubby went for his first appointment he saw the nurse practioner as his dr had a family emergency. She was very  good at explaining everything to him. Maybe you should call and see if you can still get in to see her. That way if you need meds you can start them a couple weeks early while u wait to see the dr. That way if you have any questions about your meds you could talk to ur dr about it. just an idea.

Hang in there

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline purplerain

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  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Re: Chickened Out
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2006, 09:25:10 PM »
Thank U Nafta and Christine
HUGZ TAG
FROM JAG

 


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