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Author Topic: Couple question - silly vacation fun  (Read 6006 times)

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Offline LarsJ

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Couple question - silly vacation fun
« on: September 16, 2007, 02:36:25 PM »
Hi All

I live in South Africa, KwaZulu Natal where the incidence of HIV/AIDS is almost the highest in the world. This has perhaps fuelled my paranoia and I am now uncertain about a situation that I found myself in last week. I was at the hairdresser having a haircut and she cut my neck by accident using the hairclippers that she had borrowed form the hair dresser next to her. The clippers were being used on the clinet next to me and she basically started cutting my hair with them immediately, give or take a minute or so. The cut I got happened as soon as she started cutting my hair and was quite bad. I am worried that there is a chance I may have contracted HIV if the same clippers a minute or so before me had cut the guy next to me. Is this possible and is a test at 13 weeks recommended? Can HIV virs survive on the clippers and if so for how long?

Thank you so much for your help

Lars

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2007, 05:03:47 PM »
Lars,

Hiv isn't transmitted in this way. There's never been a single person end up infected through haircutting tools and you won't be the first.

Hiv is mainly spread through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do NOT need to test over your haircut, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

And don't forget to read the Welcome Thread and follow the link to the Transmission lesson.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2007, 03:08:39 AM »
Hi Ann

Thank you so much for the reply and for the advise about my problem and also the other information. I sometimes get so worried here in South Africa when we all hear so much about HIV all the time and get confused about how it can be spread. I have been nicked so many times growing up but in this new atmosphere of fear I have become a bit more paranoid. I start to wonder how long it can survive and if blood was on things I touched but never have I got so concerned because of a cut from hairclippers.

Thanks again
Lars

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2007, 02:49:22 PM »
Hi All

I know I am back .. but I just wanted to ask one or two more questions to put my mind at ease..I am not sure why I am so paranoid all of a sudden. I think the problem is that the clippers were swaped from one person to me directly with no interval or time for blood to dry and then she cut my neck with them as soon as she touched my skin ... she then apologized and finshed the job. Does this time intervalk chnage the fact that it may be possible? I am just concerned as I am newly mrrie and want to start a family. We are recently tested (a stressful thing, but responsible) and now I fear that I may need testing again after this incident? How risky was it?

Thanks Lars

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2007, 03:15:39 PM »
Lars,

Hiv is a very fragile virus that quickly becomes damaged and unable to infect when outside the body.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2007, 03:19:50 PM »
HI Ann

Thank you for such a quick answer .. I am sorry to trouble you all with my paranoia and thank you for taking the time to ease my mind even though it was such a seemingly silly fear. I know I will sleep better tonight and actually put this to rest once and for all.

Many thanks
Lars

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2007, 06:24:54 AM »
Hi All

Ok, so I guess I had not completely let this all go. I thought I had but was out at a bbq on the weekend and two of the ladies there were hair stylists and they started going on about how hair clippers might be a risk. Ironically it was not me that started this convo as I had put this to back of mind as best I could. I told them what info. I had gathered and surprisingly they agreed with me that HIV was not passed on in this way. My problemn is that this got me thinking and replaying the scene. I mean the chances that the guy next to me was HIV positive were somewhat high as it is South Africa and in certain communities the prevelance is great.

If I may ask one last set of questions regarding my incident it would be greatly appreciated.. Even if there was fresh wet blood in a tinyl amount on the clippers and the guy beside me that was nicked was hiv positive and i was nicked around a minute afterwards is this still considered a low or even no risk scene?

When you say rapidly dies outside body .. do u mean that it dies in seconds .. would a minute or two be enough outside exposure to render it unlikely to infect?

Thanks so much
Lars

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2007, 09:10:22 AM »
Lars,

You had no risk. Hiv is a very fragile virus that quickly becomes damaged and unable to infect when it finds itself outside the human body. The outer covering of the virus MUST be intact in order for it to latch onto a very few, very specific cell types and infect. Not only would the virus be too damaged to infect, but the chance of it bumping into the correct type of cell in your scenario is slim to none.

You did NOT have a risk for hiv and it's time you put this behind you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #8 on: October 24, 2007, 10:33:15 AM »
Hi Guys

A quick question - I had put this non-risk behind me for a few weeks now but have suddenly developed a rash all over over my trunk. It is like small pimples that are reddish and they appear accross my back and chest and neck and a few spots on my face. They appeared about 4 days ago which would be roughly 5 to 5.5 weeks after I was cut. I was wondering whether this could be worrisome for ARS or related to the above incident as this is my only risk for HIV. The rash is sometimes itchy and sometimes not but for the most part it does not trouble me too much. I know I shouldnt be worried but just wanted to check whether my siuation at the barber could have been the possible cause of this.

Thank you kindly
Lars

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2007, 10:41:02 AM »
Lars,

Go see your doctor about your rash. It has nothing to do with hiv because you did not have a risk. The rash you describe is nothing like the rash that is SOMETIMES associated with ARS.

You did NOT have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2007, 03:48:42 PM »
Thank you Anne for your answer. I guess I let things get out of hand again. Realistically my rash is more likely to be as a result of our team swimming pool which has been having chemical problems of late or perhaps from the heat of the pool and the sauna after training. I just allowed myself to get so worried over nothing. Thanks for helping me and so many others overcome our fears and get a better understanding of HIV.

Lars 

Offline LarsJ

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Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2008, 03:53:18 PM »
Hi forum experts,

I was wondering if my boyfriend could ask a few questions about a recent crazy experience we had on a holiday.  We are in a totally committed relationship and just for fun one evening we went to a strip bar - after a few drinks (it was our first one).  We also decided that we just have some fun and get a couples lap dance - which seem quite raunchy.  The guy took us into a cubicle and stripped down completely - needless to say, after a few beers, we were loving this and got quite involved.  To cut a long story short - we ended up doing a few crazy things that now in hindsight and back in reality we are not sure if they were risky and if we need to consider testing? 

For some crazy reason I rimmed the stripper for a few seconds - nothing major and then gently once or twice licked the shaft of the strippers penis.  I then proceeded to masturbate my boyfriend while he licked the strippers balls only and masturbated him and he (my boyfriend) ejaculated on the floor.  I was then jerked off by my boyfriend and while we kissed and I masturbated the stripper for a short while - he did not ever get an erection but may have had precum.  I then too ejacualted on the floor.... kind of icky floor I am guessing in this booth now that we think of it. The problem with this was that after everything we also realized that in the hustle and groping I had only thing open toed beach sandals on and a huge cut - new (just a short while before the club) on the under side/front of my middle toe.  If there was other ejaculate on the floor was this a risk as the cut was still fresh and quite deep?
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Many thanks for any advice on all of our risks - we would really appreciate it.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2008, 03:58:09 PM »
Keep all your questions and concerns in your orginal thread.

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2008, 04:03:56 PM »
My apologies - I tried to reply on my orginal thread and before i started it came up in read "warning this topic has not been posted on in over 60 days please consider posting in a new thread"

Would it be better to continue in that old thread?

sorry for the confusion.

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Please help and advise
« Reply #14 on: November 02, 2008, 04:21:02 PM »
Hi forum experts,

I was wondering if my boyfriend could ask a few questions about a recent crazy experience we had on a holiday.  We are in a totally committed relationship and just for fun one evening we went to a strip bar - after a few drinks (it was our first one).  We also decided that we just have some fun and get a couples lap dance - which seem quite raunchy.  The guy took us into a cubicle and stripped down completely - needless to say, after a few beers, we were loving this and got quite involved.  To cut a long story short - we ended up doing a few crazy things that now in hindsight and back in reality we are not sure if they were risky and if we need to consider testing? 

For some crazy reason I rimmed the stripper for a few seconds - nothing major and then gently once or twice licked the shaft of the strippers penis.  I then proceeded to masturbate my boyfriend while he licked the strippers balls only and masturbated him and he (my boyfriend) ejaculated on the floor.  I was then jerked off by my boyfriend and while we kissed and I masturbated the stripper for a short while - he did not ever get an erection but may have had precum.  I then too ejacualted on the floor.... kind of icky floor I am guessing in this booth now that we think of it. The problem with this was that after everything we also realized that in the hustle and groping I had only thing open toed beach sandals on and a huge cut - new (just a short while before the club) on the under side/front of my middle toe.  If there was other ejaculate on the floor was this a risk as the cut was still fresh and quite deep?
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Many thanks for any advice on all of our risks - we would really appreciate it.
 

Offline anniebc

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2008, 04:50:03 PM »
Lars

I have merged your posts so please keep all you questions in this thread from now on..thank you.

From what you have described I don't think you have anything to worry abaout, rimming doesn't carry a risk for HIV.

As for the cut on your toe, if it was as wide and as deep as you say it was then why wasn't it coverd up?, I doubt very much you would have go any semen in the cut anyway, as you said you had sandles on, so again this is not how HIV is transmitted.

You should have read the  Welcome Thread by now and if not then I suggest you do, and follow the lessons on how HIV is and is not transmitted.

Jan
« Last Edit: November 02, 2008, 04:53:49 PM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2008, 06:02:27 PM »
Hi Jan,

Thanks so much for the response - it is reassuring, and from reading past posts from Anne and Andy and the lessons it seems that HIV cannot really survive outside the body for long.... I am guessing this applies to semen on the floor too, even though this takes much longer to dry than blood? 

I unfortunately did not have a bandaid at the time as it happened while we were out that afternoon/evening and we had cabbed into town so I just sort of continued - maybe it was the beer - but the next day it was wrapped up and treated with antibiotics.

thanks again for answering - and reallly sorry about the double thread.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2008, 06:25:09 PM »
Even with a fairly fresh cut it would have been closing up in the natural the skin does, even though it still can appear to be open to the naked eye. Such accidents are common enough and I have never known of anyone to have been infected in such a manner. I don't consider that to have been a risk nor do I see any need for testing.

« Last Edit: November 02, 2008, 06:30:27 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #18 on: November 03, 2008, 11:13:09 AM »
Thanks Andy for the reassuring words.  I did think that I was being a bit silly and overreacting.  My partner did say I should stop worrying so much but sometimes I let things spiral a bit. 

My partner only licked the guys balls and jerked him off for a while - never actually giving a blowjob.  The guy did not get a full erection at any stage.  It was mostly just playing and licking the stripper. This was last Tuesday so roughly 5-6 days ago.

The problem is my partner has had two very sleepless nights from being extremely hot and cold and possibly a bit feverish and also has some diarrhoea and an achy neck, shoulder and arms muscles and his whole side hurts too from teh musle aches when he coughs. 

Is possible HIV infection something we should worry about based on his exposure and testing warranted?

Many thanks for helping people like me out with such patience and understanding.
 
« Last Edit: November 03, 2008, 11:15:16 AM by LarsJ »

Online RapidRod

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2008, 11:16:33 AM »
You didn't have a risk. Had you all had a risk, your friend would not have had symptoms this early.

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #20 on: November 03, 2008, 12:30:05 PM »
Thanks RapidRod, really appreciate the reply.  I always feel a bit bad coming back with my worries.  I just sometimes can't shake the worries. 

Hearing no risk makes me feel more secure. 

Thanks again

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #21 on: November 04, 2008, 02:12:07 PM »
I know I am back - I think part of my problem is I paralize myself with fears and what-ifs.  I was rereading what Andy wrote and was wondering - as my wound was perhaps only 30 mins old and pretty darn deep, why would semen on the floor not be infectious if it got into the cut.  It seems to stay wet for quite long as opposed to say a small amount of blood and is also in a greater quantities?  Is HIV also still quickly inactivated once outside the body in even say ejaculate?

Many thanks
Lars

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #22 on: November 04, 2008, 03:18:50 PM »
Lars, HIV is a fragile virus. To be transmitted it needs the kind of receptive setting provided inside a vagina or an anus.

We would have known long before today if the cum-laden floors of a sex club or bathhouse presented an actual risk for transmission. We know that it doesn't. The danger is from possibly slipping and breaking your leg or something like that.

You are worrying needlessly. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #23 on: November 04, 2008, 04:54:59 PM »
Thnaks for taking the time to answer me again Andy.

I do feel better about my exposure and know that my partners exposure was just as neglible in terms of risk as mine - I of course just get so frustrated with myself, because he is still calling me at work now to tell me he is feeling ill - he had diarrhoea for 2-3 days (4 days after the incident), a slight fever and achy muscles, hot sleepless nights for 3 nights, mild sore throat and general malaise.

Is 4 days after too soon? He took 2 days off work now.  I keep telling myself it is more likely food posining - we travelled to Mexico, combined with jetlag but can't help freak out.  I will totally give this a rest and move on but just wanted to make sure us taking the decision that testing is not warranted is a good one.

Thanks so much

Online RapidRod

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #24 on: November 04, 2008, 05:02:44 PM »
Maybe you'll understand the following:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #25 on: November 04, 2008, 05:12:50 PM »
Okay - thanks ... I am done with the excessive questioning - you are absolute right.  I realize and do believe it was all no-risk. All your help was much appreciated.  Thank you.
Lars

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2009, 03:58:40 PM »
Hi Guys, I know I am back - I keep doing some silly things.  I am sorry for my return and hopefully I can get some advice. I feel a bit silly writing my story and also hope that people will not think badly of me.  I was invloved in a foursome - I am a bottom - condoms and lots of lube were used. My fear is that i was handling one of the top's penis's for a few seconds (just a few stokes) after he had topped the other guy of unknown status and then i used that same hand to guide my top into me. I never swapped partners or anything - we stayed as our own couples and there was no oral sex - just handjobs.  I feel pretty guilty about this and hope that I never allow myself to get into a situation like this again - I just really am now worried that although we were trying to be both adventurous and safe by using condoms, no oral and only mutaul masturbation and rubbing I may have mistakenly still introduced an unknown stautus' fluids into me. I knew the status of my top as he is my partner and like I say I only had protected intercourse with him in this instance. I was worried about the handjobs too as I had a day old cut and a hangnail but after reading other responses and the lessons I think I am safe to assume this was not an issue? Sorry for the graphic nature of my question.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2009, 05:58:49 PM »
HIV is not passed by hand no matter whose penis you were handling. Nothing else you are reporting this time has put you at risk for HIV transmission.

You've been coming here long enough to have gotten the basics down about what is risky. Essentially it's that condoms must always be used for anal intercourse. That's it. It's as simple as that. Everything else is risky only theory. It's all about unprotected anal.

You do seem again and again to get yourself into situations where you regret something you did. We can't help you with that. Maybe it's time for you to see a therapist or other professional to deal wtih that.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline LarsJ

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2009, 10:13:31 AM »
Thank you Andy, you are absolutely right.  I actually intend to seek some councilling for both my fears and behaviours.  My most recent situation took place at a bathhouse and I know I need to act responsibly and address any guilt if I intend to visit such places or I need to ask myself why I am doing things that make me feel guilty - so thank you for making me realize this. Sometimes we have to hear things we don't want to hear for things to "click".

About my most recent report - when u say that there was no risk at all from what I have reported, may I ask one more question as to why the possibility of fluids on my hand from the other top that could have got introduced into me by handling my top would not be a risk at it is into a mucous membrane? ... Is it because the virus cannot survive - even if it was a matter of a minute or two? Or maybe a mixture of outside air, humidity, lube? I guess you can tell I have been reading the archives..

I want to thank you all for not losing patience but being honest and upfront with me. I have read the lessons again and will not persitst with my worries without seeking face to face help.  I just want you to know that you have all opened my eyes about my irrationalities with your firm straightforwardness and it is greatly appreciated....Lars

Offline Ann

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Re: Couple question - silly vacation fun
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2009, 11:03:40 AM »
Lars,

If you've been reading the archieves and re-reading your own thread, then you KNOW why it's not a risk. I'm not going to repeat the information yet again - you don't seem to be taking it on board anyway.

I'm going to give you some encouragement to get that counseling sorted out by giving you a time out. We're not here to hold you hand everytime you have a sexual experience. We've given you the information you need to know regarding transmission and risks and now it's time you began to apply this information to your own life.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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