Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

What to do when you think your partner is an aolcoholic

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bear60:
Egello.............................I have always heard that when the problem begins to impact or negatively affect daily life and the people around him, that is when a person has a PROBLEM. So by those terms it seems as though his drinking has gone fronm social drinking to negatively affecting his life with you. Does he still care about you and does he still function ok? Perhaps he does and can.  Yet YOU have identified a problem. It is affecting YOU.
I agree with Em and Andy....see if you can attend some meetings.

allopathicholistic:
a question you can ask yourself privately (i.e., don't answer here) is

any alcoholics in his family?

hugs and my best to you

egello:
Thanks all

He is adopted but supposedly, his biological parents were messy hippies, and his adopted parents do drink to escape from problems, so go figure.

Last night I woke up found him passed out from wine and Ambien in the living room, which made me terribly upset. However, he did wake up to go to work all fine although his face had anxiety written all around it.

I talked to him nicely about it this morning still in bed, stating my concern very very nicely and not mean or in a scolding manner. He thought it was no big deal, and gave a bunch of excuses about how it helps him to fall asleep and takes edges off blah blah blah.

I made him promise me to not drink from Sunday to Friday afternoon, and on weekday nights that he will be physically in bed by 11pm. I asked him to do that for me at least. So I will see how that works out, however, I also read that there is nothing anyone can really do.

The reason why I am hesistant to call al non meeting is because he is fine in the morning and he does everything that he is supposed to do. Anyhoo, I will keep you guys posted. Thanks

DanielMark:
"Last night I woke up found him passed out from wine and Ambien in the living room. . . ."

Egello,

Forgive me but you are making excuses for his risky behaviour now. This is all part of that enabling I was mentioning earlier.

This mixing of booze and pills is an extremely potentially dangerous situation! PLEASE do as Em suggested and get your butt to some Al-anon meetings as soon as you can. You need to learn what you are dealing with and the support to deal with it properly.

(((HUGS)))

Daniel

Paulette:
I can so relate to this story
My husband of almost two years drinks every day and dips into my xanax along with it, this as been going on for as long as i can remember since we've been together and it doesn't effect his work or hm life i just wish i knew what makes him drink so much, he's not abusive or mean, he just gets drunk every night and I'm worried about he damage it is doing to his liver , because he used to have hepC but got cured with treatment and still remains hepC free for over a year and hafe. My husband isn't positive so maybe he drinks because of me , i have know idea, but like you i am worried about him.  I've talked to him and he will quit for a few days but always starts back. i don't know if this helps you, but take care of you and as long as he's not being abusive just keep talking to him about it and let him know that you worried and are concerned.
Paulette

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