Main Forums > I Just Tested Poz

got the news 48 hours ago

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On a routine visit to the doctor Monday he casually opened my blood test results from a prior appt. only to hit me over the head with the news...  I'm a 38 year old male with a shady past, but ten years now of a monogamous relationship with a GREAT guy.  Neither myself or my doctor thought I was at risk, so we never gave those results much though after the test-and I assumed no news was good news and had forgotten about it.  After a long night of crying with my partner, I woke up yesterday and called my very supportive boss (also gay and a real friend) who gave me a pep talk and told me to take the time I need.  Today is my second day off work-was supposed to see a specialist today but they have yet to call me back, so looks like I will need to make a decision on doctors soon.  I don't think it's a good sign to already be put off like this, and i want to stay upbeat and keep moving so i feel like i'm doing something and not just ignoring it.
    I have so many questions and don't know where to start.  All of this is new to me in terms of meds, risks, blood counts...  I'm trying to dive in but it is a lot to comprehend when I'm already preoccupied with fear.  My (supportive) partner tested neg earlier this year, and is going for another test tomorrow.  That is my immediate concern.  Don't know how we can avoid both being pos, but after ten years maybe he dodged a bullet.
     Still have a western blot on the way back to confirm, but I just know this isn't a wrong diagnosis.  Right now i am concerned about getting in to a specialist.  If I don't hear back today from this one should i call my regular doctor for another referral?  I know this specialist is going to be out of town for about 3 weeks, and don't want to make one visit and then hear nothing for a month.  I live in Queens NY, so any great medical help out there I should know about?
     I should mention I'm about 500 times more panicked than this post sounds-I think I've officially gone numb.


I welcome you to the forums as I am sure that others will.

My advice would be to be careful of diving in to much too soon. Read some of the lessons here on the site but please pace yourself. I'd also advise a slow down on disclosure until you get a better grip on things.

A lot of this hinges on that western blot test and I imagine that more will respond to your thread once you know the results of that.

You are going to be ok. Just try to keep yourself calm.

Thanks for the kind words, they do help a lot. I talked to my partner at length tonight and we are feeling calmer; and he wants to get his test over with so we know where we stand.  Also, at this point I've only told my boss.  He is telling me the same, keep it 'in the family' for now.  We had a long discussion about making sure this is confidential at work, and have planned out a good cover for the missed time on the job.  I am very very lucky to have both of these guys in my life right now.  Staying...uh...upbeat!


Welcome to the forums.

I go to one of the BEST clinics here. They are very very professional, compassionate, and on top of their game.
It's been 3 years for me, wasn't easy the 1 st year, but, I got through it. I am also 38 yrs old, Brooklyn NY.
 I am in a 3 yr monogomous relationship. He is negative. Alot of talking & even going to a place called "PLUSES" helped.
Sadly, they are no longer around due to lack of federal funding.
Here is all my Doctor & Clinic info.

Clinic :
400 BROADWAY, NY NY 10013

Doctor :

By all means, you can email me for anything.
Good luck to you,

Thank you so much for the info!  I just went online and checked out their site-  I'm giving myself tomorrow to get my regular doctor on the phone and tell him i'm having trouble getting an appointment through his referral.  I would like to use someone he works with normally, just for convenience of medical records.  However, he is located in Park Slope and I moved to Queens several years ago.  I certainly would not like to repeat that sobbing ride on the G train again if I can help it!  At this point I'm going to be open to whatever and I can keep my options open.  I just want to get my first numbers so I know where I stand.  Complicating this, I'm going out of the country in early October-should I need to be on meds, I want the details so I'm not worried while I'm gone.
Partner went for his second test this year today and we are on pins and needles.  Certainly hoping he is neg, but either way we are gonna' fight.  We've made up our minds about that!  :)


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