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Author Topic: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia  (Read 3987 times)

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Offline lurker

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Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« on: September 11, 2007, 04:27:19 PM »
Well here is my abridged story.

I have been worried like many on this forum after receiving numerous unprotected blow jobs from working girls, many of whom were Asian.

My story goes back 4+ years, but I have been very promiscuous over many years visiting working girls in  massage parlours in various countries.  I have always considered myself extremely ‘safe’ but participated in protected A and in the past 4 or so years got more adventurous  with receiving unprotected blow jobs.

It’s the unprotected blow jobs I have received that have weighed most heavily on my mind. I have also had WG’s rimming and fingering my A which again has left me extremely worried about possible infection.

Like many on this forum I went into semi mental paranoia at times convincing myself I had contracted HIV.  Things like several very severe bouts of flu a few weeks after, something which in the past I maybe had once in 10yrs;  sore throats; odd skin rashes etc.

Numerous things used to run through my mind – what if the condom had split during A without me realising? What if having masturbated hard before a visit to a WG had left microscopic blisters for infection to creep in? What if her hand had small cuts, or she had mouth ulcers or bleeding gums?  What is she was a drug user? What is she knew she had HIV and deliberately worked to infect men?

I was convinced that I had contracted HIV on numerous occasions, but refused to ever get tested, the thought of which was just too daunting and the feeling that I was 99% sure it would be +ve.

I have been a ‘lurker’ on this forum over the past few years, visiting once in while to give myself some moral boost that ‘maybe’ I was OK.

The more I read I became very concerned of the Hepatitis risk, and prospect of acute liver failure later on in life in some ways bothered me more than the HIV  I had probably contracted from O without.

Over a period of weeks I was convinced that I had an STD like syphilis of Chlamydia and felt I just had to visit a sexual testing clinic for this, it was something I could no longer put off.

Over a period of a couple of weeks I researched my options, and finally took the plunge visiting a government (NHS) walk in clinic. I felt resigned that I would also ask for a blood test and put myself of my misery with the HIV thing also.

I have to say I have jumped out of aeroplanes raced motor cycles and done lots of adventure sports in my time, but this was the hardest thing I have ever made myself do – walking into that place and waiting my turn to see the doc and nurse.
The waiting was the worst part, but as time went on I was reassured by the collection of equally normal everyday people also in the waiting room whom probably had similar thoughts to myself.

The urine (for STD’s) and blood sample (for HIV + Hep B+C) were taken – then the 2 week wait began. The clinic worked on a principle that they would only text me to contact them if any results were +ve, so you can image the fear every time I received a text. Quite frankly I was resigned to it now, and was trying to think through my life after diagnosis with HIV and possibly Hep.

After 8 days I could take it no longer, and rang in to ask if my results had been received back.  The nurse checked by DOB and ref. no.and said they were all –ve and then proceeded to read out the full list of STD’s + HIV/Hep that had been tested.

I thought I would be doing back summersaults,  or cracking open champagne, but it’s a strange feeling and one of a cross roads now in my life.  I feel the years of worry (and one could argue stupidity on my part to have exposed myself to such risk …. But sexual desire can be such a strong human addiction to overcome when its available so easily) have eaten away at me … I just should have been tested several years ago, and believed in the experts in this forum regarding the risks of contracting HIV from receiving unprotected blow jobs.

Sorry for the long essay here … I’ve written this within a few hours of receiving my results, and feel after years reading this forum and identifying with so many of the posters I should write this to hopefully put many peoples minds at ease.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2007, 04:46:54 PM »
You unnecessarily put yourself through a lot of misery. In the entire history of the epidemic no guy has ever gotten HIV from receiving blowjobs. Not one such case has ever been confirmed although you like so many others have worried (unnecessarily) that you'd make history by becoming the first.

Just in general we always recommend that anyone who's sexually active ought to have a full STD panel of the sort you did at least annually. Depending on the activities every six months is even better.

And now that you have finally been tested and thank goodness everything is negative, if you continue to be sexually active, I suggest you follow the new regimen of regular testing annually.

As long as you keep using condoms without exception for intercourse of any sort you are pretty much covered as far as HIV is concerned. Other STDs are much easier to acquire.

Congratulations on having made it through safely. Here's hoping you take care of yourself properly and stay negative on all counts.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline lurker

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2007, 06:00:01 AM »
Thanks Andy, this is a great forum and the advice and support from people like your self is much appreciated.

Yes, having got ove rthat hurdle of the initial test I will go more often.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2007, 01:01:26 PM »
I'm glad you have found this site to be helpful.

That's a good plan to get checked out regularly.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline lurker

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Hand Job with cut finger
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2007, 01:48:21 PM »
I went for a 'happy ending massage' from a Thai girl, and am worried about a cut she had on her thumb.

A small knife cut on the end of her thumb starting lightly bleeding when she was massaging my back, she stopped immediatley and wrapped a tissue around it. I then asked her go and hold it under a tap and put a plaster on it, which she did.

Later on during 'hand relief' she used her other hand on my penis, but the cut thumb hand did go over my balls and bum, and I noticed the plaster eventually came off exposing the light cut (1cm long) that had clotted and left a tiny blob on the inside of the plaster.

I'm worried that microscopic particles of blood might have got onto her other hand via the baby oil she was using, and the fact she was running her hand over the tip of my penis with oil that might had mixed with oil from the cut hand that had 'clotted' blood on the small thumb cut

What are the risks of microscopic particles of blood mixing with the oil and entering my uretha?

Is the uretha the main source of infection for men, I had no cuts or blisters anywhere else on my body or penis but am worried.

Comments would be most welcome.

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: Hand Job with cut finger
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2007, 01:53:33 PM »
Please keep all your questions and comments in your original thread, lurker.  Thank you.

Your original thread is here:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15476.msg196160#msg196160
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2007, 02:22:27 PM »
Lurker, I've merged your threads. Please keep all of your entries in this same thread.

As to this recent incident, nothing related to that massage put you at risk for transmission. Even IF the woman who was massaging was HIV+, HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in any of the circumstances you have described. Nicks, cuts, bruises and other similar bits involved in massage, masturbation or touching would not be the venues through HIV is transmitted.

If you haven't already done so please read our lesson on Transmission which you will find through a link in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

There's no need for further concern nor testing in relation to this incident.
Andy Velez

Offline lurker

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2007, 04:21:09 PM »
Thanks Andy,

 I just feel the old paranoia creeping back  ...

.... having been very careful whom I have gone with since tested 3 months ago, and always 100% safe sex. Thought non penatrive massage would be as risk free as it gets, then I see an open wound and blood ... really scared me ...

Just cant keep thinking 'if tiny particles of blood had got massaged into my penis and urethra opening' etc etc ...  Yes, thanks read the welcome notes to this forum ... I accept blood outside the body is extremely low risk of infection .. but ...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2007, 04:36:52 PM »
Blood "outside the body" is not low risk, it's no risk.

If you are having anxiety issues please seek the assistance of a mental health professional.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2007, 04:56:27 PM »
Fortunately feelings are not facts. And there aren't any facts in your situation which warrant any concern about HIV. None. Period. End of story.

And if you find these fears persisting or recurring in the future in the same kinds of circumstances then I suggest you follow Matty's advice and talk with a therapist or other professional including about what's behind your putting yourself repeatedly in stressful circumstances. Or is that actually a part of the fun? No kidding.
Andy Velez

Offline lurker

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Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2007, 05:06:46 PM »

Andy and Matty - Thanks for your reassuring words .. and taking the time to reply.

Quote
I suggest you follow Matty's advice and talk with a therapist or other professional including about what's behind your putting yourself repeatedly in stressful circumstances.

Or is that actually a part of the fun? No kidding.


Haha ... well, life is a rollercoaster of a balance of 'risks' ... it would be boring to never leave the house ... if you thought about it all too deeply one wouldn't cross the road or have a bath for fear of drowning ... let alone things like ride motorbikes and heaven forbid follow ones sexual desires!  :)



Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Unprotected BJ - my strory of paranoia
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2007, 05:08:23 PM »
Listen kid,

You go out and have all the thrills and risks you want. It's fine. But why do you think you can come back here and expect us to sort out the mess when you've scared yourself for no good reason?

MtD

 


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