Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 18, 2014, 12:14:55 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 22213
  • Latest: glo9003
Stats
  • Total Posts: 620190
  • Total Topics: 46726
  • Online Today: 224
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 6
Guests: 207
Total: 213

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?  (Read 2666 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mesu

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« on: September 11, 2007, 10:41:50 AM »
Hi ladies

I was recently diagnosed in august and I have been getting a lot support and encouragement in this forum. I am getting myself back together and have become more confident in dealing with this disease. Yesterday, I was reading messages posted in this website...and I think I saw the message posted by the guy who infected me...i can tell from his story (description of himself and location) that it was him. (he also recently found out he is +ve)...

i feel a little weird about this situation. We dated briefly in January and February this year and broke up in Feb. Last month I got an email from him and said he is +ve. I replied to him and told him I am +ve (i know i was -ve before dating him). I didn't hear back from him...I am not very mad at him because i know he didn't know he was +ve....but i am upset because I realized he has lied to me when i was dating him..he actually had a fiance the whole time and he has just got married 2.5 months ago....i am a little hurt as I have trusted him....i feel he owes me an apology.  however, i am afraid of contacting and confronting him.......

also what if i run into him in the same support group in my city? ....anyone here has similar situation before?

mesu
Jan/Feb 07 - infected :(
Sept3: cd4 162; 13.5% VL 24,000
Oct5: cd4 68 13.6%
Nov6: cd4 205  14.64%
Dec10,07: cd4 188  15.67%  VL: 9900
FEB15,08: cd4 242 18.62%
Mar10/08: cd4 219 15.64%  VL: 7300
May26,08: start Truvada and Sustiva
July 18,08: cd4 255, 18.50%, VL undetectable (<75)
Nov 4,08: cd4 380, 27.14%,
Feb 6,09: cd4 296, 22.7%,
May 26: cd4 351, 27%,
Aug 28: cd4 310, 28%,
Dec 2009: cd4 321, 35.67%,
March 2010: cd4 325, 32%,
June 2010: cd4 385, 29.5%,
Sept 2010: cd4 368, 30.75%,
Feb 2011: cd4 431, 43.1%,
Jun 2011: cd4 433, 30.93%,
Sept 2011: cd4 435,  36 %,
Jan 2012, cd4 467, 33.36%
May 2012: cd4 421, 38.21%,
Sept 2012: cd4 393, 30.23%,
VL: undetectable since July 08

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2007, 10:47:21 AM »
Hi Mesu,

It's possible that the person you think was the guy you dated actually isn't. So many of our stories are very, very similar. There are people from all over the world here and it's quite possible this is just a case of mistaken identity.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2007, 10:56:39 AM »
Mesu

If he lied to you about having a fiance, why wouldn't he lie to you about HIV. You're "not very mad" because you believe he didn't know his status. You don't really know, do you? People who lie tend to lie across the board, not just special little categories.

I want you to get a view way above this situation. Open your mind to the notion that there are people whose intent is to satisfy their needs ONLY and they will lie without any feelings to accomplish that.

The similarity Ann referred to between this person's "story" and the man you knew can cause your imagination to go to work.

Try to let it go as much as possible. Get the support you need. If you run into him, let your most protective instincts be your guide.

And, never trust that you know someone's status again unless you're tested together, repeatedly, or that what they're saying is the truth.

Em

edited to make this a little easier to read...I understand after seeing your posts you are in Asia. Good luck.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2007, 11:04:05 AM by emeraldize »

Offline mesu

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2007, 11:09:42 AM »
Hi Em

Thanks. I appreciate your kind advice. And that also reminds me of trust issues...I have been very trusting in the past, and after this big lesson i learned from getting infected, I have been worried about whether I can ever trust anybody (especially men) anymore....

Right now, my priority is to get the result of my cd4 and vl counts, meet my doctor next week and to take care of myself....as much as I want to meet my Mr. right and start a family, i dont see myself dating anyone in the near future. it is kind of sad when i think about it...and a lot of times tears come out from my eyes when I think about it.

mesu
Jan/Feb 07 - infected :(
Sept3: cd4 162; 13.5% VL 24,000
Oct5: cd4 68 13.6%
Nov6: cd4 205  14.64%
Dec10,07: cd4 188  15.67%  VL: 9900
FEB15,08: cd4 242 18.62%
Mar10/08: cd4 219 15.64%  VL: 7300
May26,08: start Truvada and Sustiva
July 18,08: cd4 255, 18.50%, VL undetectable (<75)
Nov 4,08: cd4 380, 27.14%,
Feb 6,09: cd4 296, 22.7%,
May 26: cd4 351, 27%,
Aug 28: cd4 310, 28%,
Dec 2009: cd4 321, 35.67%,
March 2010: cd4 325, 32%,
June 2010: cd4 385, 29.5%,
Sept 2010: cd4 368, 30.75%,
Feb 2011: cd4 431, 43.1%,
Jun 2011: cd4 433, 30.93%,
Sept 2011: cd4 435,  36 %,
Jan 2012, cd4 467, 33.36%
May 2012: cd4 421, 38.21%,
Sept 2012: cd4 393, 30.23%,
VL: undetectable since July 08

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2007, 11:16:52 AM »
Hi Mesu,

I sent you a PM and know that you are not alone... you have people in Europe and America thinking of you and wishing well  ;)

As for never getting together with anyone, I thought it was the end of the road for me too, but life can be very surprising. For bad, but also for good.

Big hug,

PS Modified to add that I wish all lying, cheating two-timing bastards long and miserable lives. I have seen a lot of them when I worked in Asiia. I do beleive in karma and what goes around comes around. He will meet his fate.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2007, 11:22:30 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2007, 12:01:32 PM »
Hi Mesu

A quick note to add that I agree with Drag's comments...life is not over for you, not by a long shot. And, you'll find someone to trust again---but a wiser you will be doing the choosing.

And, karma...I agree with that, too, only sometimes it seems as if the karma wheel never turns quickly enough. But, oh, when it does it's far more "kreative" than is typically conceivable.

Your crying is natural. This is a time of grief for you, possibly depression, too. I love reading that the hope in you is strong...you envision marrying and having children. How great is that?


Em

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,620
  • Diagnosed + 1989
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2007, 02:42:09 PM »
Hi Mesu:
  Welcome to the forums!  The women on here are the greatest. 

I'm so sorry about the guy who infected you.  I agree with Ann, though.  The stories on here are very similar.  You know, the only thing you can do is to be angry, get angry, and let it go.  There's nothing you can do to change the man who infected you.  Don't give up hope in all men, however.  I believe there are inherently good people just like there are inherently bad people.  And I most definitely believe in karma, that what someone gives out comes back.  I've seen it happen time and again. 

Hope to hear more from you in the future.  Peace-
   Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline HealthyMomma

  • Member
  • Posts: 128
Re: ladies, have you run into the guy who infected you here?
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2007, 10:54:55 PM »
I cant even imagine how you feel thinking this guy is on here! I would probably flip out if the guy who infected me was on these forums! Even though I have moved on, it is still hard to deal with sometimes! But I agree with the others that karma is a bitch and in the end hate will hurt you more than it will hurt him. Stay strong and try to let it go...I know that is hard to do!

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.