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Author Topic: Being brave?????  (Read 1815 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline cowslips

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Being brave?????
« on: September 08, 2007, 11:59:41 AM »
Hi
Don't really know how to start! I am so so scared, after being too trustworthy and too bloody bloody stupid I am now a week away from going for an HIV test!! I have the symptoms - sore throat; for a month! Swollen lymph nodes etc. I am 43 I don't want to die!!!
I don't mean to be manic I am sorry - I have read so many of the posts here and go from calmness to panic so fast I just don't know what to do. Everyone who posts on here seems to be so caring and friendly I just didn't know where else to go!
Hope you don't mind me posting hear.
Can anyone help me please?
xxxxxxxxxxx

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2007, 12:06:27 PM »
Take a moment and  breathe. I know how scared you must be, but believe me when I tell you it isn't the end of the world. Educate your self in the lessons section of this website, get your test done and go from there. That's all you can really do at this point. Right? I am hoping for the best possible out come for you.

All the best,

Dan J.

Offline cowslips

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2007, 12:11:29 PM »
Dan
Thank you so much for your reply! Don't feel so alone :) It's going to be really really hard to go for the test though and face up to reality, suppose I have to be a big girl!! I feel so stupid, ashamed, lost, etc etc. Thank you again for writing
XXX

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2007, 12:18:38 PM »
I know your feeling scared, alone, lost & ashamed. Been there many times. Wouldn't it be better to go ahead and get the test done to know for sure now than to find out later if or when you  get sick ? If you do test + remember that this forum is here for you.

Dan

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2007, 12:22:29 PM »
Cow,

Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms mean absolutely nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Only testing will reveal your hiv status accurately.

We go by risk assessment here - so if you tell us what leads you to worry about hiv infection, we will be better able to help you. We also need to know when your incident happened, as the window period for hiv testing is three months.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline cowslips

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2007, 01:19:48 PM »
Hi Ann
Thanks for writing - I became single in December 06 after 18 year marriage, never looked or thought about seeing anyone until I met someone in June 07, went about three weeks before things got intimate, used condoms until one split end of July 07!! I got freaked by it and things ended as I really didn't want him near me! It was cool with me until now! Having had a sore throat for four weeks now and really really painful lymph nodes under my arms and in my breasts I am panicking!!
I am very sorry as I am sure you have heard it all before I don't want to bore people but after finding this website and reading the forums for the past week or so I just needed to talk to someone!:)
xxx

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2007, 01:32:23 PM »
Cow,

You have had a risk and you do need to test. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, but a six week negative result MUST be confirmed at the three month point. You can test at six weeks or more for peace of mind, as long as you confirm a negative result at the proper time - although a six week negative is unlikely to change.

The odds are in your favour of testing negative as you were protected up until the condom broke. And as I said earlier, symptoms, or even the lack of symptoms means nothing. Go to your doctor and have your throat and glands checked out. It's unlikely to have anything to do with hiv.

Please read through the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can make sure your future partner(s) are using them correctly. A correctly used condom RARELY breaks. You might also be interested in reading about the female condom as it is a method of protection that YOU control. They're a little fiddly to use the first time, but if you can use a tampon, you can use these.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Feel free to keep us posted - but be aware that we do not discuss symptoms as they are meaningless when it comes to hiv infection. Testing at the appropriate time is the ONLY way to know your hiv status.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline cowslips

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Please please help me!
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2007, 01:37:45 PM »
Ann
Thank you for taking the time to write and explain things - I will be going for the test and I will let you know!

Blessings
xxxxxx

Offline cowslips

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Being brave?????
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2007, 10:11:03 AM »
I have to go for a test but just don't think I can do it! I should be going next week but it will only been 6 weeks from the 'incident' and after hearing from Ann about having to go back again at 13 weeks I am thinking of just going for the one test at 13 weeks.
I am just SO SCARED!!  I have had just one intmate encounter with a man after 18 years of being in a relationship and fear i have HIV because of a sore throat for nearly 5 weeks and swollen lymph nodes for over two weeks! I really can't get my head around it and usually I am a very grounded logical person!
I am so sorry to moan on here but I just don't know where am I going to get the strength from to go for the test and tear my world apart.
xx

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Being brave?????
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2007, 10:43:58 AM »
Cow,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

It's fine if you want to wait until the three month point to test.

However, I would suggest in the meantime you go see your doctor about your sore throat. Whether or not you are infected with hiv, the sore throat is unlikely to have anything to do with hiv. Go to the doc so you can get some antibiotics if needed.

Whenever you do decide to test, you must do it at some point. It's far better to find out one way or the other. For one thing, chances are good that you're worrying needlessly. For another thing, if by chance you are positive, it's far better to find out now so you can take care of yourself, rather than finding out years down the line while in hospital with a potentially fatal case of PCP pneumonia.

Test and find out. It's the adult, responsible thing to do.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline cowslips

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Being brave?????
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2007, 03:18:01 AM »
Well....I went to the clinic yesterday and got tested, I sat working out dates the other day and it had been 8 weeks since I had the experience with the broken condom, still not the 13 weeks I know, but I am so scared I had to go. The people there were really nice, had the full screening which wasn't nice:-) but it's done now!
Didn't sleep much last night and now have to wait a week until I can call for the results. Seven days until my whole world could be blown apart!!! I am SO SO Scared and really don't know what I will do if the test comes back positive.
Thanks for listening x

 


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