Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

Becoming whole.. Stream of Consciousness rant...


 So when I was first diagnosed I felt as if all the pieces that made me whole were compartmentalized and some, like my sexuality I put aside as they didn't ďfitĒ in with my new poz persona.  I jumped into a relationship with a man because he was poz, paid attention to me and seemed supportive.  He turned out to be the psycho killer kind and I left him behind with all my possessions but that's another storyÖ anyway itís time to work on becoming whole again.  Iím going to seek out a therapist as I know thatís the way to go.  It will be difficult to find one Iím able to relate to here in Utah but thatís yet another storyÖI guess what Iím wondering is if this is something common for other poz people?  Many of my poz friends swung in the complete opposite direction and became sex fiends, which I must say I was before diagnosis hence the predicament Iím in.   Is it difficult to accept sex in a positive manner (no pun intended) back into your life; after all it is the reason why you are sick?  Is it possible to feel truly in love and shake the feeling that you are settling on a partner just because you are sero compatible?   Yes, Iíve made the choice to sero sort, I wonder if I did so out of fear of infecting someone or fear of rejection, yet another storyÖ  Anyway , thanks for reading & letting me vent.    :-\


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