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Author Topic: Hello. I just tested positive, so i want to introduce myself and share my story  (Read 4306 times)

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Offline Movingon

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Hello to you all. Well this is the hardest thing i have ever done. I tested positive 4 weeks ago and i think i am now over the initial shock, but now scared to death with what the future holds. I am male , heterosexual, living in Asia (hong Kong) and have never been sick, hardly ever been to see a doctor , and still feel great. I am fit, i work out most days, i walk everywhere, and since being diagnosed i have quite smoking, hardly drink, i eat very healthy , but i dont have a very strong mind, which i know is a problem. I just think worst case scenario all the time. I think i am going to die.

I am married, my wife tested negative and is a great support to me. I have informed my boss, and 1 close friend. My family dont know yet, as i have been advised to get a grip of myself first and learn to live with this before i tell them, as apparently my hold on the situation will help my family to deal with it.

I have only had one set of lab tests so far, CD4 284, v/l 98,000 - so my infectious disease doctor says its likely i have been infected for about 5 years. I will need to start medication soon i think, but before that i have to go back again in 3 weeks to do lab tests again. I was extremely stressed out and emotional when i had my lab work done, so i am hoping that they might get better. But given what has happend to me in the past 4 weeks, nothing would surprise me now

My biggest fears are about the meds themselves, i think. I have heard some horror stories about the side effects , but i want to remain active and able to hit the gym or walk around in the parks etc. Also, me and wife really want to have kids, i have heard of sperm washing , but i think its a long shot. I just feel like my whole life has crumbled.

My doctor suggested Kaletra and Combivir, which i have heard are old, but tried and tested meds. Does anyone have any feedback or experience with these drugs ? 

I slept around alot during my 20s, protecting myself most of the time, but not all the time . I have also participated in rough contact sports all of my life, and have been punched and kicked more times than i remember. Infact, i have been to the hospital more times for stitches to my head, face, mouth and body more times than i have had a common cold !

Thats basically it, my story, i am shot scared and dont really know what to do. I work out to keep fit, and to lower my slightly high cholesterol, but now i have even been told that regular works outs can be counter productive ! So what am i supposed to do ? sit a home and get stoned and drunk ? i mean, this would make me happy but is it good ?

so many questions, so many fears, and i would really appreciate some sound advice from some people who have been here, done it, and bought the T Shirt !

Thanks alot for reading and listening, and hopefully replying

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Hello lost,

thank you for sharing your story. Take a deep breath. Your numbers suggest that you may go on meds soon, and your fears are understandable. But you seem like a guy that is uplifted about life and you shouldn't change that. Many will chime in about your expected regimen and give you help. What I feel from your post is that you're a strong guy, with strong support from the people you disclosed to, so those are very good signs.

I'm glad that you found those forums, because sperm washing, family issues, have been talked about before and you will find many answers to your questions already. Use the search button and type "sperm washing" and feel free to ask questions. We are a very open group and no question will be left unanswered.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Movingon

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Thanks for your reply. I am not sure how strong i am. I know i am physically strong, infact i reckon i could get in the ring with Tyson right now, even if he is old and not as good as he used to be. Its my head that isn't strong. I love my life and i wont want to die, its as simple as that. My life went form being the happiest i have evern been cos i got married, then bang, 6 weeks after our wedding day, i tested positive. Most marriages are tough at first, but add this in to the puzzle and you have a shit fight on your hands. I just need some help to underdtand that things will be ok. I mean, i hear of people living for 25 years plus with this, but i also hear of people dying quickly - wo whats one supposed to think ? I'm in my early 30,s and feel like i wont see 40

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
There are happy couples where one is hiv+ and the other is not. You will see your 40s, and your 50s and your 60s, and your 80s. If you don't, I doubt HIV will be responsible for it. In 2007, soon to be 2008, medication allows you to live your life almost as you envisioned it in the first place. There will be road blocks, but you will overcome them.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline xyahka

  • Member
  • Posts: 794
  • Dance together!! aha!! aha!! I like it!!
Hi there, i agree with Milker, you can be optimistic about future. You will live for a long time if you look after yourself.

Talk to a nutritionist and to your Dr about your exercise routine, you still can do exercise but perhaps you might need some adjustments.

About mental strength... we are what we think we are. If you keep on telling you ... you are weak... you will be weak. Trust a bit more on yourself, you know... you have faced and almost overcame a Hiv diagnosis... to me that means you are strong. Like all of us who are still living despite this virus. Hope for the best and it will happen... and if something bad appear you will be able to change it into something good, you'll see.

check around and you will find lot of answers to your questions and feel free to ask.

hugs,

Juan Carlos
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline Movingon

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
can any one shed some light on my excercise routine ? I mean, i am mixing cardio, weights, walking , swimming, stretching, and eating right. Is there any thing else i can do ?

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
I know you "Mate!"  Glad you made your way here...   Everything you are doing is great...  Keep focused on the pos side of pos and stay off of all the what-if's...  This is your story, no one elses..  What happened to one does not mean it will happen to you...   Stay busy and go on about life... Try not to fixate so much on the next doc visit..  You have good caring docs helping you through this...   Keep engaging and talking about what you are feeling..

Hugs,

Eric

Offline megasept

  • Member
  • Posts: 478
  • Steven here...
I'm in my early 30,s and feel like i wont see 40

I tested poz in my early 30s. I was somewhat surprised when I made 40. I was not the least surprised when I made 50. Ditto for the still far-off goal of 60. I am still strong and capable, including physically. There was a time when so many "died fast" (multiple factors)---that time ended in the early 90s, thankfully. If HIV is your only major medical problem, your future looks bright, and at some point you'll believe that (again).

I can advise you on exercise, cardio, weights, etc. "PM" me if you'd like. Just realize if you don't swim or lift weights or even take vitamins and mineral supplements, you'll still be here tomorrow. But by all means eat well and exercise hard. There's no race!

 8) -megasept

« Last Edit: September 06, 2007, 09:19:18 PM by megasept »

Offline Movingon

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
thanks - i will send you a PM . My lab results showed no other infections. No Hep, nothing. My liver and kidneys are in good shape. They did produce a result of slightly borderline high cholesterol , which is why i have cut out all the shit from diet and am probably doing more cardio than i should be doing. But this is what my doctor told me to do. I am 6ft 4 and 229 pounds, he told me try and get down to about 215, so that is what i am doing.

I quit smoking and dont drink much . I also increased my water in take. and eat very healthy. I take vitamin tablets daily now too, and swim about 3 times per week, as well as walk to work and back home every day (30 mins each way)

cheers

Offline chadly

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
off subject from your original post..

We are a +/- couple.

Since I am the positive one, I have found a multitude of people to talk, and relate to here in the forums.
It was more of a challenge for my GF (neg) to find a counterpart to talk with.

If your wife would like to talk "girl stuff", I'm sure my gf would be interested.

Only my best,

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,898
thanks - i will send you a PM . My lab results showed no other infections. No Hep, nothing. My liver and kidneys are in good shape. They did produce a result of slightly borderline high cholesterol , which is why i have cut out all the shit from diet and am probably doing more cardio than i should be doing. But this is what my doctor told me to do. I am 6ft 4 and 229 pounds, he told me try and get down to about 215, so that is what i am doing.

I quit smoking and dont drink much . I also increased my water in take. and eat very healthy. I take vitamin tablets daily now too, and swim about 3 times per week, as well as walk to work and back home every day (30 mins each way)

cheers

I am also in Hong Kong N&S, and I can tell from my experiences so far that I am glad I am here because of the medical coverage. I don't know which government clinic you're going to or you're consulting a private one, but there are at least two major peer support networks - the AIDS Foundation and AIDS Concerns. I will be meeting with some volunteers from the Foundation this evening and I plan to take advantage of any resources and networks they can offer; and I am sure they have something for both you and your wife.

I don't exercise much and I still smoke - I have been trying to quit for some times now so I admire you for being able to cut this off. I am still in shock but apparently it's still not big enough a shock to made me stop this nasty habit. So any pointers will help.
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Movingon

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Hi Chadly

Thanks for your reply. I and my wife i think would be interested in talking more to you and your gf. Thanks for the offier

To you all - my parents are here, and i really think they have a right to know about my status , but i cant find it in myself to to tell them, how to tell them, why to tell them etc

any tips ?

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,898
Hi there L&S, I just saw your PM through an email but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to reply from here. It keeps telling that I cannot read my PMs because of an error. I saw that you have also posted in "The Body" bulletine board so I will send you one there.

To share some of my thoughts from what you've already talked about here - you should consider switching to the government clinics. There are two in Hong Kong, one in the Queen Elizabeth Hospital and a new specail clinic just for us in Kwoloon Bay. The costs of meds aside, they're well supported by government social workers, psychiatrists and also peer counsellors from a number of NGOs including the AIDS Foundation and AIDS Concerns. I can tell you from my own recent experiences and past experiences with friends that with our conditions we'd all be grafeful that we live here.

I have friends that have returned to UK or Australia for treatments and everyone of them decided to move back here because they think the HK's system is far better (and, as we can only hope for both the common good and our "selfish" needs, that the clinics here don't get overwhelmed soon like those in many parts of the West like London).
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

 


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