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Author Topic: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death  (Read 4541 times)

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Offline utahcorey76

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Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« on: September 05, 2007, 01:45:01 PM »
I'm hoping you wonderful people here can help put my mind at ease. Here is my story: March 2004 I had unprotected anal sex with another gay man in which I was the top. Why I did it I can't explain it as it was so not me. Regardless, i started getting worried, not knowing the other person's HIV status. I got tested 35 days after and it was negative.Three months after the incident I got the other person to agree to get tested, which i was there for, and he was negative. Five months later, even though he (the bottom) tested neg at three months, I got tested again. I was negative again. If that's not enough, still being OCD over the incident and feeling guilt im sure, i got tested at 10 months and 16 months. The result? Negative! Now it is three-and-a-half years later and I can't get this out of my head. I've had sexual encounters since then, but ALL the anal sex has been protected and there has been mutual masturbation and the giving and receiving of oral sex, but never to the point that someone ejaculates in my mouth.

It must be the guilt from the incident in March 2004, because when I occassionally do have sex with someone i start thinking back to that HIV scare of 2004. If I come down with a cold or get sick, i'm always thinking "what if?" even though I've done nothing to warrant another HIV testand four as far out as 16 months have concluded i'm negative. I've had three bouts of strep throat over the past 4 1/2 months, and of course my mind goes crazy again thinking it's HIV. My HIV fears are ridiculous, yes? Do I have anything to be concerned over here, other than my brain needs to stop dwelling on things so much? Any suggestions or words of encouragement would be very much appreciated. It feels like I've let a 2004 incident rule my life for more than three years. I just want to really live life again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Help! Going Crazy Here from Bareback topping incident.
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2007, 02:06:48 PM »
See a mental health professional. This is not an HIV concern, you've already received your conclusive result.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help! Going Crazy Here from Bareback topping incident.
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2007, 02:28:57 PM »
Utah,

You are absolutely, conclusively hiv negative. Keep using those condoms correctly and consistently and you'll stay that way. Check out the three condom and lube links in my signature line - think of it as a refresher course.

I agree with Rodney that you should consider seeking professional help. There is something called CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) that would help you immensely. You're correct, you don't have to live like this. The ball is in your court however, as we cannot help you with that here. Ask your doctor for a referral, or look in your local Yellow pages for therapists. Just make sure they're accredited and qualified.

Good luck, and remember to keep using condoms - at least until you're in a securely monogamous relationship where you've both tested negative together.

Good luck.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline utahcorey76

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2007, 01:49:58 PM »
Hello everyone. Hopefully you can help me with my fears. Four days ago I had protected anal sex with another gay male of unknown HIV status. I was the top. After completion, which lasted less than five minutes, I pulled out and noticed the condom i was wearing had broke. I immediately went into a panic. I checked my penis and there was no sign of blood or anything else. I do not know at what point the condom broke. As the top, how much should I be worried? What are the chances that I might have contracted HIV, if indeed this person is positive and that's an assumption. Please help.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2007, 03:18:29 PM »
Please keep all your additional thoughts, questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us to follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you can't find you original thread click on the red link I've provided above. Alternatively you can click on the "show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.

Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2007, 03:54:02 PM »
OK, you need to take a few deep breaths in and out slowly. Right now. And I am not just saying words. Do it! And do that everytime you find yourself tensing up again.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. Until the condom broke it provided you with protection. Given that you were the insertive partner in this single incident, and that you were protected part of the time, the odds are significantly in your favor that you'll get through this without having become infected -- assuming of course the person you were with is HIV+, which you don't know for sure.

Get tested at 13 weeks past the most recent risky incident. My expectation is you test negative.

In the meantime, bearing in mind your history of past concerns, I strongly urge you to get productively busy in your life. Doing that will make the time pass more quickly than you may imagine is possible.

Good luck to you. 
Andy Velez

Offline utahcorey76

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2007, 04:04:07 PM »
Thanks, Andy. I'm doing my best to stay physically and mentally busy; some moments are better than others. I'm praying to God everything is OK. Thanks so much for your encouraging words.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2007, 04:18:33 PM »
I believe Andy misread your post. You don't need to retest you have a conclusive negative result 5 months post exposure and even the other guy tested out negative three months after your condom broke and he was negative. You need to seek help with your OCD not HIV.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2007, 04:19:18 PM »
Matty the Damned agrees with Rod's assessment here.

MtD

Offline utahcorey76

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2007, 07:27:48 PM »
Matty and Rod,

Andy is referring to my latest situation, not the one from a long time ago. PLease read the latest thread about my condom breaking and feel free to share your advice. Thanks.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2007, 07:29:12 PM »
In that case I rescind my support for Roddles assessment and agree with Andy.

MtD

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2007, 07:33:22 PM »
LOL, thanks Matty.

 What I would like to know is, you knew what to do the first time and you came back to ask the a question about testing. You should be looking into what you are doing wrong that you are having condom failures. Yes, I didn't see you latest post and Andy is correct in his statement. I stand corrected.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2007, 07:36:19 PM »
It's a brutal old world Roddles. :)

MtD

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2007, 07:39:04 PM »
Oh is it ever Matty.  :-*

Offline utahcorey76

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2007, 09:53:00 PM »
Rod, what are you talking about? My recent post (not the one from Sept that ref. an incident from 2004) had nothing to do with testing; it was about condom failure, which is the first time i have experienced that.

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #15 on: November 25, 2007, 10:28:20 PM »
You, know you had a small risk and you know you have to test and you also know when you have to test to get a conclusive result.

Offline utahcorey76

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Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #16 on: November 26, 2007, 10:08:33 AM »
Thanks, Rod! ;)

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #17 on: November 26, 2007, 11:10:06 AM »
Utah,

While you're here, make sure you read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Like Andy, I fully expect you to test negative after this one-time broken condom incident. However, you DO need to test to be certain.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline utahcorey76

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Condom broke and now I'm scared to death
« Reply #18 on: November 26, 2007, 11:13:42 AM »
Thanks, Ann. I appreciate the encouraging words, and I'm going to look through the condom and lube threads right now!

 


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