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just venting

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tendai:
hie ladies,

i just wanted to rant. yesterday was my birthday i turned 28. so this guy whos asking me out right we go out for the day, just hang out eating and drinking having conversation.  we even talked about hiv and how its hard to keep infection rate down because of men who tend to lose control with women they barely know and end up having unprotected sex.  and he was saying how wrong that was and people should behave more responsibly.
so he takes me home and i want to give him back his sweater that he lent me.  so anyway we started making out and all.  and there he goes trying to screw me without a condom! after what we had been discussing and whats more this relationship isnt even a week old for heavens sake! i had to hit him and kick him out.  i was so ticked off.  he really seemed like he was an intelligent understanding guy witha good head on his shoulders and it turns out he's just a sex maniac. i am so furious with myself for . well i dont know,  i'm angry and so disappointed. what is wrong with men? or is it me? do i invite sex maniacs or something?
in high school this lady had a meeting with us girls and said "if u see all the guys flocking around you dont think u're pretty, you're like rotten meat attracting flies".  makes me rethink things a lot..
just venting thanks for listening

emeraldize:
Hi Tendai

Glad you posted, sorry for the circumstances. How disappointing for you. The fact that you had to hit him to get him to back off puts it at the frightening level in my book. I'm glad you are okay.

I'm not so sure it's always a matter of drawing a particular type of person. Some people are going to attempt to get their agenda met no matter what the other person says or does. Just imagine...in your case, you had the sense to hit him, another woman may have been passive and thinking it was a no win situation.

I don't think the topic of your sexual conversation could have been any more precise. Perhaps he felt that having touched the topic meant he could touch you. I gather there won't be another date, so you can't ask him why he behaved so poorly.

Short of asking a man directly if he's ever raped a woman, or if he's ever been relentlessly sexually forward, or if he respects women especially his mother, I don't know how one would assess attitudes except through the process of dating.  This can take a long time unfortunately.

I want to move to something different for a moment.

Happy Birthday
Em

BT65:
Hey Ten-
   A lot of guys I think will try to put up a good front to see if you trust them enough to take things to a different level.  Like Em said, the fact that you had to hit him and kick him out to get him to stop is not good.  It's too bad we can't see into the future or what's really going on inside someone's mind.  It sounds like he said all the right things to get you to trust him enough to have him into your place.  I myself would rather someone be right up front with me about what they're expecting.  I can't stand it when someone tries to play mind games. 

It doesn't sounds like there's anything you could have done differently.  I don't think it's a matter of attracting certain types of people.  Please don't equate yourself with spoiled meat.  I know it seems like "it's just the same old song and dance" when something like this happens.  But don't sell yourself short.  Just chalk it up to a bad experience and move on.
Peace-
Betty

Dragonette:
Tendai,

your teacher is wrong... talking about ppl like meat is wrong... she sounded like she yearned for a fly or two of her own...

seriously, dont blame yourself. the guy is a slick bastard who is probabaly targeting numerous women with his moves. just move on and take a lesson with you for the future, be careful b/c anyone can talk the talk...

A Big Happy Birthday to you! don't let that piece of rotten meat spoil anything  ;)

emeraldize:

--- Quote from: Dragonette on September 03, 2007, 12:20:49 PM ---Tendai,

... she sounded like she yearned for a fly or two of her own...


--- End quote ---

I was thinkin' the same thing. Perhaps teacher was jealous of student/s.

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