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Author Topic: questions  (Read 3354 times)

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Offline tominfl

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questions
« on: August 28, 2007, 12:35:18 PM »
HI,
I have a few questions about an exposure that happened a week ago.
I met a real nice guy who is HIV+, we kissed for a few minutes and then he performed oral sex on me for a few minutes as well.
He is on medication and told me his viral load was undectetable.
I have a mind gingivitis and my gums bleed sometimes. I am always safe during sex, but I know it's never 100% safe.
Do you think my risk is very high, I am a little worried sometimes.
thanks

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2007, 12:45:31 PM »
Tom,

Your risk during these activities is non-existant. That's right, NO RISK. It doesn't matter whether or not his viral load is undetectable - no risk either way.

Kissing, no matter what sort of spin you can think of to put on it, is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Never has been, never will be as saliva is NOT infectious.

For the same reason, getting a blowjob is absolutely not a risk for hiv.

There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Please read our Welcome Thread and follow the link to the Transmission Lesson so you can better understand what is and what isn't a risk for hiv transmission.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tominfl

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Re: questions
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2007, 12:57:41 PM »
Dear Ann,
Thanks a lot because I thought the guy was very cool and I liked him, but ast the same time I don't want to risk anything.
So gingivitis was not a risk factor in that case?
thanks

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2007, 01:09:45 PM »

Kissing, no matter what sort of spin you can think of to put on it, is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Never has been, never will be as saliva is NOT infectious.


Tom,

No, gingivitis is not a concern.

As long as you and he use condoms if you have intercourse, you'll be fine. That's why I told you about the serodiscordant studies, so you can see that in real life, condoms prevent hiv infection. Make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line - think of it as a refresher course. They're quite frank and informative, so get reading.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tominfl

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  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2007, 12:20:17 AM »
Thank you so much, I feel better.
I knew the risk was very low but it makes me feel better that actually my risk is non existant.
This is a great site and I want to thank you for answering so fast.
;)

Offline tominfl

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2007, 02:26:37 PM »
Dear Ann or other members,

Well it's been almost three weeks since my encounter with a person that has HIV. I am a little freaked out now, because I developped some fever, pretty rough headaches and my inguinal nodes are swollen and very tender( for the past 3 days). I am rarely sick, last time was more than 4 years ago.
I heard ars appear during that time period therefore I am very concerned. I had no anal sex but my gums are in a bad shape.
I am not sure what to do. When should I get tested? Do you think my risk is actually higher?
I don't know who to talk to, and I am very scared now.
thanks

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2007, 03:41:17 PM »
Tom,

Just because you haven't been ill in four years, doesn't mean you can't be ill with something now. There are a lot of bugs going around at the moment.

You did NOT have a risk of hiv infection, by any stretch of the imagination. Kissing is NOT a risk for hiv infection, and I don't care what shape your gums are in. (See your dentist about that, btw. You need your teeth.) Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that actually damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Getting a blowjob is also not a risk for the same reason.

Go see your doctor about your illness. It has absolutely nothing to do with hiv. You didn't have a risk. Period.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tominfl

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  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2007, 03:51:42 PM »
Thanks Ann for answering fast.
I am just worried, and I have been to the dentist and going thursday again.
I will probably go to a clinic this week.
By the way, when should I get tested anyway after that encounter?

thanks

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2007, 04:52:30 PM »
Tom,

You can test whenever you like. You didn't have a risk and therefore you are not in a window period.

You did NOT HAVE A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you won't have a risk in future either. Condoms prevent hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tominfl

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2007, 05:42:30 PM »
thanks Ann, you ease my worries

Offline tominfl

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  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2007, 06:59:12 AM »
Now I am getting real worried, it's been two mornings I woke up with my pillow and sheet wet, I didn't feel hot or any fever at all and it was very wet. It simply never happened to me before. It didn't wake me up during the night, I just woke up with my bed soaked. I am very anxious now...
After the first night, I thought I was just hot during the night, but two nights in a row is suspicious for me.. My lymph nodes are still swollen but not tender anymore which is great

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2007, 07:09:06 AM »
Tom,

Go see your doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv - you didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tominfl

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2007, 07:15:19 AM »
I think I should go because it's starting to play with my nerves now.
This morning was just a weird feeling, to wake up with my sheet all wet

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,393
Re: questions
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2007, 08:25:31 AM »
You can pile on all the symptoms in the world. It still doesn't change the HIV science based reality that you were not at risk for HIV transmission. Period. End of story.

Discuss your symptoms with your doctor. Your head is just coming up with scarey stuff but there's no justification for it in what we know about HIV. Really.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline tominfl

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2007, 07:58:48 AM »
Sorry, I have another question, is sweat a risk for transmission? because I slept all night against his back and we woke up soaked. 4th night in a row I wake up all wet. :(

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2007, 08:54:02 AM »
Tom,

Have you even bothered to read the Transmission Lesson linked to in the Welcome Thread? I asked you to do this in my very first response to you.

Sweat is not infectious - this is very basic information.

Don't think you can skip reading the material we provide for your education - and then expect us to answer basic questions every time one pops into your head. Do your homework, young man. Learn.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tominfl

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2007, 09:18:47 AM »
I am reading it now, thanks for your answer.

Offline tominfl

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  • Posts: 12
Re: questions
« Reply #17 on: September 16, 2007, 11:43:11 AM »
I am really sorry to bother you so much but I thought I would be better after your answers.
My dentist told me that I have a rare acute degenerative gum disease where my gums are eaten away some, and leaves me black spot. Like my flesh is eaten away, I am currently under treatment for that, but it really scared me, after having almost a week of night sweat, swollen inguinal lymph node, headaches that occurred first and some chills sometimes with a mild fever. I am totally freaking out now.
I talked to the guy who is hiv+ and he told me the risk is so low but he is concerned at the same time. It' been 3 and half weeks since we got together. When is a good time to start testing because it really worries me. I feel something is wrong with me and I need more guidance.
Thank you for your answers.
I don't mean to be annoying, I am just scared because I am always very careful and always use condoms for anal sex.
I don't know what to do
tom

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: questions
« Reply #18 on: September 16, 2007, 12:03:39 PM »
You continue to worry needlessly and like Ann I am wondering if you REALLY have read what we have said to you.

KISSING IS NOT A RISK FOR HIV TRANSMISSION. (Yes, I know about your gum condition.) KISSING IS STILL NOT A RISK FOR TRANSMISSION.

GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED IS NOT A RISK FOR TRANSMISSION. In the incident you have described it's absolutely irrelevant that the guy you were with is HIV+. It doesn't change the science-based reality that nothing you did put you at risk for HIV transmission.  PERIOD. END OF STORY.

If you have any troublesome symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor.

THIS IS NOT AN HIV SITUATION. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2007, 12:05:17 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline tominfl

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Re: questions
« Reply #19 on: September 16, 2007, 12:09:47 PM »
The partner I was with is HIV+, he told me ( after we fooled around) and I saw his medications like (Viread..).

I hope you are right, it's just like I have every symptom that suggest ars, and my gums are getting worse even with my treatment.
a 6 weeks test would be a good indication?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: questions
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2007, 12:28:51 PM »
Tom,

A test at any time would be a good indication. You didn't have a risk. Yes, we know the guy is hiv positive. Yes, we know you have gum issues. YOU DIDN'T HAVE A RISK.

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you would have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection through kissing or having your dick sucked. NO RISK.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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