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Author Topic: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road  (Read 4610 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Gay Christians are the creepy embarrassing secret of Queerdom. Like a fart in a sauna or the retarded relative in the attic, nobody wants to mention them. Except for Matty the Damned.

Ever intrepid and obviously with little else to do, Matty the Damned has spent the last few months undercover in a Gay Christian forum. Get the low down on these strange people by clicking here.

You know you want to.

MtD

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2006, 06:33:11 AM »
 :'(
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Dachshund

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2006, 08:43:35 AM »
Matty-poo,

Unfuckingbelievable...you missed your calling sir. A must read for everyone!
Will this blow (no pun intended) your cover at the Gay Christian Forum? I would be very interested at their reaction to your infiltration and reporting.

I genuflect in your direction.

Hal :-*

Offline alisenjafi

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  • They say HIV comes from monkeys!
Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2006, 09:21:36 AM »
Spot on MtD... what is so funny is there is such a hypocrisy both with this group and the gay republicans. Oh if we could just settle down with a house and picket fence 2.3 kids and a pooch the world would accept us.
Like Matty I too went in search of things more profane.

 I recomend everyone should google
Quote
incest and the bible
.
After a good look and reading what the priest left out of their sermons, this book like the Q'ran is full of filth and betrayal, that would make Joan Collins envious. Lead to believe that they have the "god' given right to be above all others.

If I won the lottery I would start a tv show where a guy dressed as a priest  (Matty is that you)would talk about things like forcing your wife to commit sex acts on strangers - Abraham, having loads of sex with your daughters- Lot.  Multiple sex partners- David- GB mustn't know what our Davey thought of being faithful.
The list goes on and on- oh I know it's all about interpretation.
They will know we are Christians buy our love...buy our love

Cheers
Johnny
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2006, 10:21:27 AM »
Did you read Justin Lee's bio? It appears he's gay but celibate click here http://www.angelfire.com/nc/yakkow/mystory.html
« Last Edit: July 04, 2006, 11:14:56 AM by allopathicholistic »

Offline aztecan

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2006, 10:56:48 AM »
OY!

Jesus, save us from your followers!

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Robert

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2006, 11:21:26 AM »
NEVER MIND....

I hit the wrong key. I wasn't ready to respond. 

Matty, this is really good.  I can tell it's going to take me all day to read it.  I'll come back and finish.

robt
« Last Edit: July 04, 2006, 12:50:51 PM by Robert »
..........

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2006, 11:49:09 AM »
I am but a humble vessel through which greater things are poured.

The Gospel According to Matty the Damned (May Hate and Scorn be Upon Him).

Glory!

MtD

Offline dario

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2006, 01:49:03 PM »
ASINUS ASINUM FRICAT
... when I was young, I never needed anyone, making love was just for fun, those days are gone ... Eric Carmen (Raspberries)

Offline ademas

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #9 on: July 04, 2006, 05:50:54 PM »
Quote
In reality the gay world is all about sex. No matter how post modern we want to get about queer identity politics, the whole thing boils down to who (or what) you fuck. If having your arse pounded by a conga line of pipe smoking daddies whilst you're shackled to a dungeon wall is your thing, then you're queer my dear.

omg, that is freakin' hilarious, Matty.
(but the GCN site just baffles the hell out of me...)

Offline Basquo

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2006, 06:10:26 PM »
One of the first well-documented cases of PMS is in the Bible.  It's the part where it says Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

Yes, i know, I'm going to Hell; hurry up and I'll hold the door for you.

Offline TedEBearNC

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  • ~Cuddly~
Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2006, 10:17:50 PM »
Excellent!

Abba Elohim!  hehehe  :D
Member since March 2004

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2006, 10:35:26 PM »
Hehehehe. I think Pope Justin must have found out about my naughty little blog. My access to GCN appears to have been revoked!!!

Ah well. Excommunicated again!  ;D

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2006, 11:07:53 PM »
Oh no! i am so sorry. I was looking forward to more revelations.

Hmm.. wonder who ratted you out? Some (deleted for the flame bait) religious righter, maybe? :)



« Last Edit: July 07, 2006, 07:05:00 AM by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2006, 11:46:18 PM »
I still have one or two people on the inside at GCN. ;D I linked heavily to their site in my article so, when people clicked those links the Cycle's URL would have appeared in GCN's sentinel data reports. That, and we have a tonne of readers throughout the queer blogosphere.

MtD
(Who is chuckling manically from deep inside his lair)
« Last Edit: July 07, 2006, 09:36:02 PM by matty.the.damned »

Offline alisenjafi

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #15 on: July 07, 2006, 07:49:15 AM »
You made me think of something MtD- why is it that Hitler is vilified for mass murder yet god is reveared for the same thing , remember Noah. God also is a mass murderer.
No equal justice!
Johnny
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline whizzer

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #16 on: July 07, 2006, 09:15:03 PM »
Let's not forget the infantacide of Passover and the genocide of Sodom and Gomorrah (so much for the "culture of life")

Oh, and He was a Deadbeat Dad.  Left it to poor Joseph to pay all the child support.

Offline Terry

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #17 on: July 07, 2006, 09:44:37 PM »
Matty,

Visualizing you chatting with a bunch of gay Christians is like trying to visualize mixing oil and water together. Why would you do this? Oh I know the answer to that one. Youíre evil, but not quite as evil as they are. No matter how hard you try Matty. LMAO!

Johnny, you know that youíre going to go straight to Hell for that one.  ::)  Someone please help me. For I have fallen down laughing my ass off and I canít get up! or get it up! whatever!  ???

Terry




Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #18 on: July 07, 2006, 10:05:30 PM »
Tezza,

It was different, let me tell ya. You know that movie Aliens? It was not unlike the scene where Sigorney Weaver looks around realises that she's smack bang in the middle of the alien swarm hive, totally surrounded by the fuckers.

--shudder--

Alas I can chat with them no more. A little bit of investigation reveals that someone did indeed rat me out to Pope Justin. The only thing that I'm surprised about is that they took three days to bust my arse. ;D

The nice thing is that they HAVE to forgive me. Jesus said so.  :P

MtD

Offline Robert

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2006, 12:04:31 AM »
I just want to let you know, Matty, that I'm really, really proud of you.  I just found all that so interesting.  Thank you for digging down deep to get to the bottom to be on top.

robert
..........

Offline alisenjafi

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2006, 07:04:15 AM »
Whizzer  find out what happens latter in the Soddom story- so god kills all the pervs right, well he saves Lot and his family , who the wife turns around and turns to salt. 
 Genesis, Chapter 19, Verses 30-38.
30. And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

31. And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

32. Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

33. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

34. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

35. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

36. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

37. And the firstborn bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

38. And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Ben-ammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.
Not to mention the children of A &E

http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/lewis/lewun07.htm#TOC
Matty you had to know someone there was dying to play Judas

Cheers
Johnny
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 01:45:02 PM by alisenjafi »
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2006, 09:57:04 AM »
I'm glad you enjoyed it Robert!

Johnny,

I much prefer The Skeptics Annotated Bible. Very useful. The KJV, NIV, the Quran AND the Latter Day Saints famous page turner the Book of Mormon are presented in full with the juicy bits neatly commented. Just what you need when you have to deal with a verse spouting Baptist or enraged Nazarene.

MtD

Online Dachshund

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2006, 10:20:47 AM »


What do you get when you cross a Jehovah Witness with an atheist?



Someone who knocks on your door for no god damn good reason!

Offline Biggums

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2006, 10:57:07 AM »
At the risk of inciting hate mail against me..................

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying.  To say a gay man can't be a Christian (I think creepy is the word you used) or a Republican or any other "label"  is just as wrong as for one of these fundamentalists to try and organize and herd me into their neat little package of what they think gay people are all like.  What value to that is there?

I am gay.  I love God and believe he loves me.  I sometimes vote for a Republican sometimes for a Democrat.  Just depends on the person who is running and what they stand for.  Some fundamentalists are judgmental asses.  Some are not.  Some gay people are horrible people, some are not.

I guess what I am trying to say is that within any group or class of people there are those you'd have over for dinner and those you wouldn't call 911 for if they were on fire.

I think that any of us could have our lives picked apart and ridiculed by some other person who didn't agree with our beliefs or how we chose to live our lives.  And that's OK because we all have to live OUR lives and be able to sleep at night.  But I do know that I can not expect others to be tolerant of me if I refuse the same towards them, even if they think I am a freak.

I wonder if somewhere out there this is a website of comments many of us have made in these forums, all recorded by soem troll, and a group of people who are spending their time discussing and ridiculing our thoughts and feelings?  And they think they are just as dead right as we are.  It's pathetic if so.

Man, life is too short.

With Love,
A creepy one because I chose to live MY life
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline alisenjafi

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  • They say HIV comes from monkeys!
Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2006, 01:42:54 PM »
Hi Biggums I re edited because of the harshness tone of my response anyway-
First off I agree with you  there are a lot of fucked up gays- it is just humanthough how many massacres were made in the name of homosexuality?
Quote
from urbandictionary:

Log Cabin Republicans

A group of homosexual Americans:
1. who seek to advance the rights of gays in the USA by becoming members of and working for the victory of a political party devoted in large measure to ending all rights for homosexual Americans;
2. devoted to self-destructive irony.


Why I have never delved into the world of gay christians I went to MtD's link and followed through. When I got to GCN it seemed to me I was entering the realm of Jonestown massacre. I have family that view themselves as "christians" unfortunately they need to read more of the bible. I think jesus said not to judge people. But then again this religion was responsible for  a lot of blood from burning women to selling people.Have you gone to this site?

Quote
But I do know that I can not expect others to be tolerant of me if I refuse the same towards them, even if they think I am a freak.

I feel t "is one thing to be tolerant and another to promote anti gay legislation or hate of any kind. I believe that there are good christians out there, just like good muslims and good gays, but religion or political leanings is not  the criteria of making a good person. Anyway both you and I are abominations to these people, I guess much like women who wear pants so c'est la vie. As well as the fact I never heard of a gay group disrupting a military funeral.

 My problem with organized religion is that they all slip in doctrines of intolerance. And you see I am not the only one who questions the LCR.
Cheers
Johnny
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 07:03:03 PM by alisenjafi »
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline Biggums

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2006, 11:38:22 PM »
I do not agree with everything organized religion espouses.  But there is much that I do.  Unfortunately, it has gotten away from the central mesage and has focused on peripheral things that yes, do affect us in negative ways.  But I am not willing to throw out the baby with the bath water.  I know lots of people who would not have food on their table, utilities paid or medicine if not for these "creepy" people.  Yep, there are asses like Fred Phelps and his loony group, and there are others like some of my best friends who would vote in a heartbeat to outlaw gay marriage but who would give me, their gay buddy, the shirt off their backs if needed. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that you can't label people.  All of us are complex and regardless of our beliefs and background and what we are for or against, each of us is worthy of being treated individually, not to be placed in some group and branded this or that.  Sure, you may disagree vehemently with them and fight them in the arena tooth and nail but to hate all organized religion or for them to hate all gays is useless and destructive.

Just one man's opinion.
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #26 on: July 09, 2006, 01:33:31 AM »
Biggums,

Organised religion, personal spirituality, reformed calathumpianism, the zodiac -- whatever. It's all just mindless crowd control as far as this little white pervert is concerned. I object to some religious beliefs more than others. Christianity and Islam primarily because they're proselytising. They recruit and convert. They attempt to interfere with other people. That annoys and angers me.

Jews, Bahai's, Zoroastrians to name a few are less annoying. They keep to themselves. In fact they can be quite resistant to outsiders getting involved in their stuff. Their beliefs are still as ridiculous, but at least I don't have to listen to it.

The longer I spent lurking in the forums at GCN, the more I noticed that all their talk of love, and acceptance and compassion was a crock. Honestly, compassion is a rare thing at GCN. When they really got down to the issues at hand they were just as narrow minded and judgemental of others as mainstream christianity is. Behind the "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore" crap and all those daggy sandals, there was a cold and bitter heart in that place.

With the exception of a few rainbow flags for avatars and some effeminate carry on, these are not queers as I understand them.

You should see the stuff I didn't post. The thread for instance about how gay christians should infiltrate and reinvent Pride marches. Why? Because, according to the Queer Disciples of JC, modern gay culture is filthy and depraved and that's the reason straight people hate us. We bring it all on ourselves, or didn't you know? Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell aren't the problem babe. It's guys in tight leather pants marching sinfully through the streets of San Francisco.

The filthy faggots.

The HIV positive GCN members generally keep their heads pretty low. They have their little chat sessions once a week and I went to two or three of those, but they rarely speak out. See a lot of the evangelical gay christians believe that HIV happens because gay men are immoral. Except for them of course.

And they're not afraid to say it. From the privacy of their Controversial Topics forum.

Life must be pretty good if all you have is christian rock, the Left Behind Series and the smug assurance that come the Rapture, you're going to heaven whilst Eric Rofes burns in hell.

Jesus never fails, babe.

As for the log cabin republicans and the fact that you're a swing voter, well that's cool. You're entitled to vote as you like, even if it is against your own interests. Whether it's George Bush, or the Australian Prime Minister John Howard or that egregious facist Stephen Harper who now rules Canada like some god-king, they have precious little to offer us. And by us, I mean anyone who is from a disadvantaged or marginalised group.

You know who I mean, gays, lesbians, people of colour, migrants, the poor, people with AIDS. Fuck 'em all.

Quite frankly, I think anyone who votes for conservative political parties and candidates deserves to be lumped in with the racists, the homophobes, the relgious loonies, the neocon war mongers and flat out right wing whack jobs. Sure you have a right to vote for who like. It doesn't exempt you from your share of the blame when the people you elect (even if it's only occasionally) fuck shit up.

I've never set myself up as a fair and open minded person. I'm prejudiced too. I don't like religious people especially christians and muslims. It's just that my prejudices are the right ones. I've never stated that my blog articles are fair and balanced (unlike a certain news organisation), I'm an unashamed radical queer polemicist.

My opinions should be your opinions. Deep down you know it makes sense. ;)

MtD

Offline alisenjafi

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #27 on: July 09, 2006, 09:32:03 AM »
Quote
and there are others like some of my best friends who would vote in a heartbeat to outlaw gay marriage but who would give me, their gay buddy, the shirt off their backs if needed. 


I think there is a lack of respect towards you here. Sort of like those guys in the sixties who went around for Black causes but didn't want them in the neighborhood- like I said hypocracy
Have you asked them why? Did you point out that the sanctity of marriage is a fallacy, Caligula married his horse, the pharoahs married their sisters, Henry the 8 married everyone. This is part of the mind set of religion and America I don't like,if you keep saying it it will become true. 
Take the drink V8. They say the have 8 vegetables, yet list tomatoes , which are a fruit.

So two loving men who are in a good relationship, could never give a child a stable well balanced envornment to grow up in? And what is so fragile about straight life that they need to pass laws against us.
 
You have your views and I have mine so there really any reason to go on with this, from my perspective. The only thing I think MtD is saying , and which I am saying is "check it out.
And as Judge Judy sez Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining"

MtD - 3 days, but were you on a cross?
Cheers
Johnny




« Last Edit: July 09, 2006, 09:35:47 AM by alisenjafi »
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline ademas

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Offline Biggums

  • Member
  • Posts: 199
Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #29 on: July 09, 2006, 09:29:47 PM »
Johnny,

My friends don't love me because they agree wholeheartedly with my decisions or who I am, not do I love them because I agree with everything they choose to do with their lives or what they believe.  We love each other because we have been there for each other in the past and will again in the future and at just some point in time, that love and friendship became more important than any other differences.  I do not look at them as hypocrites or disloyal to me.  They do not have to fit inside my box for us to be great friends.

Matty,

Thanks for throwing me in with racists and homophobes because I occasionally vote Republican.  Maybe it is different where you live but where I am at I have never met a Democrat out here fighting and clawing for gay rights either.  So I have to look at a variety of issues they stand on.......health care, national defense, the war, social justice, my tax burden, etc., etc.  Again, I would hope people would look at anybody as a whole, not just pinpoint one issue and base a persons integrity or value on that one issue.  I am glad though that you said you are not fair and balanced because your tone about those who disagree with your point of view is the same as the tone of those you have been studying on the GCN site.

Look guys, none of us have "arrived".  We are all men and women with feet of clay, enjoying some triumphs in life and at times hiding with fears and our own insecurities in the darkness.  We all struggle with our own demons and within each of us is the power to make an eternal difference.  That's true of every single person we meet and regardless of whetehr or not they fit into our box, they all deserve dignity and respect because if for no other reason, there but for teh grace of God go I.  We don't have to all agree or all get along, even with those of different faiths and practices or political bents.  But I think we might just want to cut each other some slack more than we do.  You can love completely without complete understanding.
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #30 on: July 09, 2006, 10:05:53 PM »
Thanks for throwing me in with racists and homophobes because I occasionally vote Republican. 

My pleasure babe. You deserve nothing less.

Maybe it is different where you live but where I am at I have never met a Democrat out here fighting and clawing for gay rights either.  So I have to look at a variety of issues they stand on.......health care, national defense, the war, social justice, my tax burden, etc., etc. Again, I would hope people would look at anybody as a whole, not just pinpoint one issue and base a persons integrity or value on that one issue.

I never said you should vote for the Demmykrats. Nevertheless if you consider issues such as health care, national defence and social justice amongst other thing when you vote AND can still occasionally vote republican then I think my assessment is correct. How do the republicans fare on issues such as ADAP, Ryan White reauthorisation and AIDS prevention? See? Matty the Damned follows American politics too. And I read the threads on these issues posted in this place.

I am glad though that you said you are not fair and balanced because your tone about those who disagree with your point of view is the same as the tone of those you have been studying on the GCN site.

I'm surprised you got that far. Even Internet Explorer has a back button.

Look guys, none of us have "arrived".  We are all men and women with feet of clay, enjoying some triumphs in life and at times hiding with fears and our own insecurities in the darkness.  We all struggle with our own demons and within each of us is the power to make an eternal difference.  That's true of every single person we meet and regardless of whetehr or not they fit into our box, they all deserve dignity and respect because if for no other reason, there but for teh grace of God go I.  We don't have to all agree or all get along, even with those of different faiths and practices or political bents.  But I think we might just want to cut each other some slack more than we do.  You can love completely without complete understanding.

Speak for yourself, Biggums. ;)

MtD
(Who arrived a long time back)

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: The Only Ass That Jesus Rode was the One Along Damascus Road
« Reply #31 on: July 10, 2006, 09:42:01 PM »
Matty You seem to know more about America than a lot of Americans!

 


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