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Author Topic: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.  (Read 11181 times)

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Offline Dachshund

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Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« on: August 25, 2007, 01:09:05 PM »
Oh how the mighty have fallen. Isn't this the guy that last year talked politics with George on a weekly basis? I guess it's mean to kick the religious right when they are down, but god it feels so good.

http://www.coloradoconfidential.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=2630

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2007, 01:33:16 PM »
So, instead of talking to Our Dear President Shrub every week, he's going to be talking to some crackhead who thinks he's the President every week.

There's a term for this... poetic justice.

Yes, that's it.

If they need money to live on so badly, why are they sending their kids to private school?
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2007, 01:36:01 PM »
P.S.  And isn't a little irresponsible to let someone whose past behavior has been... well... questionable... be around drug addicts and hookers?

"Jesus will let you into heaven if you give me your dealer's number and suck my cock."

I can see the headline now, "Haggard leads junkie to accept Jesus into his mouth."

Creepy.

This is the sort of story that ends up in a ravine somewhere. 

They always end up in a ravine.

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline whizzer

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2007, 01:38:33 PM »
Jeez Benj,

Surely you don't expect them to send their children to school with heathens?


Offline Miss Philicia

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"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2007, 01:41:52 PM »
Seems ol' Teddy boy wants the checks made out to an outfit called Families With a Mission. Let's see what they are all about. http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/families_with_a_mission

See what happens when a conservative pisses Aunty D off. ;D

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2007, 01:57:30 PM »
So he's completely heterosexual and completely unscrupulous.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2007, 01:58:11 PM »
... sure kicked that meth habit quickly too
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2007, 01:59:38 PM »
Paul Huberty? Sounds like a porn star who likes to fuck twinks.

Offline pozguy75

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2007, 02:03:31 PM »
Well you know those Christians, they can turn it on and off at whim and its okay aas long as you find Jesus (not jesse).

Funny thing is, I didn't know Jesus was lost...hmm, who knew...
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline Ann

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2007, 02:15:56 PM »
A quote from the first article linked to:

"After three weeks of intensive "restoration" therapy, Haggard claimed he was "completely heterosexual"; he and his family subsequently moved to Arizona."

Did they restore his hair whorl?



PS - Looking for Jesus? I'll give you a clue, look behind the couch. ;)
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2007, 02:21:46 PM »
... sure kicked that meth habit quickly too

For real real!

My friends who were hardcore junkies who kicked heroin took months and months to recover. 

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2007, 02:30:10 PM »
For real real!

My friends who were hardcore junkies who kicked heroin took months and months to recover. 



it took them eight years to clear up my homosexuality, but they quit trying to get me to stop smokin' the rock.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #13 on: August 25, 2007, 02:32:17 PM »
it took them eight years to clear up my homosexuality


i still have flare ups.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #14 on: August 25, 2007, 02:36:13 PM »
I love these lazy Saturday afternoons when only the lonely and depraved are around.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #15 on: August 25, 2007, 02:39:34 PM »
The Lonelyhearts Depravity Club.

Doxie can be the President.

I want to be Ambassador to France.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2007, 02:40:53 PM »
The Lonelyhearts Depravity Club.

Doxie can be the President.

I want to be Ambassador to France.

How 'bout Ambassador to our pants?

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2007, 02:42:19 PM »
How 'bout Ambassador to our pants?

For that pun you should drop dead, good sir.   ;)

And yes, I think I could ambassador that. 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2007, 02:45:30 PM »
Ambassador of Notre Pantalons.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #19 on: August 25, 2007, 02:46:33 PM »
speaking of lonely, i've got barbeque chicken on the grill if anyone would like to come over?

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #20 on: August 25, 2007, 02:47:39 PM »
hush puppies too?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #21 on: August 25, 2007, 02:50:34 PM »
hush puppies too?


nothing that requires heating up the kitchen. I do make a mean hush puppy.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2007, 02:51:32 PM »
For that pun you should drop dead, good sir.   ;)

And yes, I think I could ambassador that. 

Rumor has it Benj was seen walking around Richmond in a denim skort.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2007, 02:52:14 PM »
Speaking of pantalons, I gotta clean mine.

Time for a trip to the laundromat!  Yay!
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #24 on: August 25, 2007, 02:55:13 PM »

nothing that requires heating up the kitchen. I do make a mean hush puppy.


My Mama just brought me a plate a little while ago full of vittles whipped up by the women of Mount Vernon Baptist.  If there is a god, he surely could be found through the cooking of southern women. 

Fried chicken, veggies fixed up straight from the garden, and something called Corn Bread Casserole.

Heavenly. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2007, 03:00:01 PM »

My Mama just brought me a plate a little while ago full of vittles whipped up by the women of Mount Vernon Baptist.  If there is a god, he surely could be found through the cooking of southern women. 

Fried chicken, veggies fixed up straight from the garden, and something called Corn Bread Casserole.

Heavenly. 

god that sounds good, and makes our impending heart attacks well worth it. ;D

Offline tester8888

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2007, 03:01:56 PM »
 Reading that article made me so completely sick I could puke!  It makes me livid down to my marrow.  I am inclined to drive up and down university ave and give money to those poor homeless guys that are having to hold up the 'sale signs' for local businesses.

   A few years ago, my bf and I had the opportunity to participate in what was dubbed a 'reparation rescue'.  Nearby in Tennessee, is an awful homosexual repapration center; so bad, it has all but been closed down by the health department.  Someone in our group was friends with a man who had just returned from Iraq.  He learned that his family had placed his brother into this awful place the day after he graduated high school.  Apparently once your in you are denied any contact with the outside world, except that which is supervised.  Because he went in under the status of non-voluntary admission (who the hell knows how or why?), he was basically at their mercy.  Anyway, his brother was able to get him out with some fanagling of the system.  When he presented this guy to us, the center had doped him up on so many anti-psychotic, anti-anxiety, and other types of meds, he looked and acted like somone with Parkinson's.  If the tardive dyskinesia wasn't enough, the psychological assaults were brutal as well.  We were looking at a non-functioning person, who was transformed into...a I don't know what.  He was mentally ill, had to suffer through withdrawl of multiple medications, had no job skills or education save the hs diploma, and due to cruel family, no home.  Those of us in the group took turns letting him live with us, until we could help him return to a functioning person.

  Everytime I see one of these 'religious' places that are supposed to 'cure' gayness, addictions, etc., I am forced to recall the above incident.  I often wonder and worry about others who are subjected to the cruelities of these good christian reparation centers.

  End of rant.           >:(
7 weeks post exposure, tested HIV Negative.

Be Kind To Everyone You Meet, For You Do Not Know What Battles They Have Fought That Day.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2007, 03:04:43 PM »
god that sounds good, and makes our impending heart attacks well worth it. ;D


absolutely.  even the veggies have pork and batter in 'em more often than not.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #28 on: August 25, 2007, 03:20:21 PM »

absolutely.  even the veggies have pork and batter in 'em more often than not.



Yep, growing up my mother considered salt pork a veggie, she must have, cuz a hunk of it was always floating around in the veggies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #29 on: August 25, 2007, 03:20:59 PM »
ugh... those nasty, filthy green beans that have been cooked for an entire day until they're so limp and mushy that they dissolve on contact with your mouth?  I love southern food but NOT the vegetables.  I had to eat those fucking things all the time growing up and I learned to wash them down without chewing with a glass of milk.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #30 on: August 25, 2007, 03:26:44 PM »
yes, southern mama's do tend to cook the veggies beyond recognition. they are a bit more refined now with the new found popularity of soul food. southern casseroles can't be beat,

Offline Ann

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #31 on: August 25, 2007, 04:00:06 PM »
   Everytime I see one of these 'religious' places that are supposed to 'cure' gayness, addictions, etc., I am forced to recall the above incident.  I often wonder and worry about others who are subjected to the cruelities of these good christian reparation centers.

  End of rant.           >:(

I've heard some horrible stories of these places too. Puts me in mind of a certain German doctor from around sixty-five years ago. Sickening doesn't even begin to describe it.

Sorry to interrupt the picnic, guys. ::)

Ann
 
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #32 on: August 25, 2007, 04:50:29 PM »
ugh... those nasty, filthy green beans that have been cooked for an entire day until they're so limp and mushy that they dissolve on contact with your mouth?  I love southern food but NOT the vegetables.  I had to eat those fucking things all the time growing up and I learned to wash them down without chewing with a glass of milk.


philly, we knew without asking you were definitely the "haricot vert" sort.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #33 on: August 25, 2007, 05:32:19 PM »

philly, we knew without asking you were definitely the "haricot vert" sort.

Well, they are better... sauteed in some olive oil with a little garlic.  I really love southern food though but I stick to the meat and carb stuff.  Now go get me some cracklin' bread.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #34 on: August 25, 2007, 05:40:12 PM »
picture if you will my first time ordering "haricot verts" off of a pretentious (and otherwise completely english) menu.

i pronounced it exactly as one might imagine a redneck would:

just like it looks, dammit.


now pass me some more of them "hores d-vores".
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #35 on: August 25, 2007, 05:45:11 PM »
I thought  homosexuals naturally signed up for French in school exactly to avoid such situations.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #36 on: August 25, 2007, 05:47:37 PM »
I swear to God I once heard a redneck pronounce Quiche...Quickie.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #37 on: August 25, 2007, 05:51:21 PM »
Tim, just remember that the "h" in "haricot" is aspirated, and you'll do just fine.   :D

We'll make a sushi-eating liberal out of you yet.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #38 on: August 25, 2007, 05:51:55 PM »
I swear to God I once heard a redneck pronounce Quiche...Quickie.

I'm calling it that forever now.

Thank you, Doxie.

Best. Thing.  Ever.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #39 on: August 25, 2007, 05:54:16 PM »
Where Timmy grew up in Bumfuck Georgia English was taught as a foreign language, we're lucky the lad knows how to eat with a fork.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #40 on: August 25, 2007, 05:57:44 PM »
I swear to God I once heard a redneck pronounce Quiche...Quickie.

Oh... I've even heard "Quincy"!  In fact we called it that in college as a joke after we heard someone in Richmond say it.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #41 on: August 25, 2007, 05:59:44 PM »
I thought  homosexuals naturally signed up for French in school exactly to avoid such situations.


in my neck of the woods, signing up for French would've been as good as outing myself.

i woulda been sent directly to one of Ted's ex-gay programs as soon as my folks heard me utter my first "oui oui".

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #42 on: August 25, 2007, 06:00:50 PM »

in my neck of the woods, signing up for French would've been as good as outing myself.

i woulda been sent directly to one of Ted's ex-gay programs as soon as my folks heard me utter my first "oui oui".



...or in your case wee-wee

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #43 on: August 25, 2007, 06:04:28 PM »
I was in a month-long immersion program called the Governor's French Academy before my senior year of high school.  It was in a place called Staunton, Virginia.

Staunton is where the Statler Brothers are from. 

It's in the mountains. 

The Appalachian mountains, which are beautiful, and the people in Staunton were very nice (one lady ran a beautiful resto in the middle of the town... she spoke French, which made things easier, considering if we spoke English, we got kicked out).

Anyway, we had all gone tubing on the James River, and all 40 of us were sitting around, and nearby were some locals.  We called them "les cous-rouges" which literally translates as "red neck," the expression doesn't exist in French, but we had to call them something.

So, they had overheard us speaking en franÁais, and we heard one of them say, "I don't know why they waste their time teachin' em French.  I had enough trouble with English."

This was not said out of ironic self-deprectation.

One of the girls overheard him and said... rather loudly... "J'en suis sŻr."  Which means, "I'm sure of that."

Oh, how we laughed!
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #44 on: August 25, 2007, 06:04:32 PM »

in my neck of the woods, signing up for French would've been as good as outing myself.

i woulda been sent directly to one of Ted's ex-gay programs as soon as my folks heard me utter my first "oui oui".


Geez... I'd have been dead meat surely because I was actually the President of the French Club.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #45 on: August 25, 2007, 06:09:52 PM »
I was in a month-long immersion program called the Governor's French Academy before my senior year of high school.  It was in a place called Staunton, Virginia.

Staunton is where the Statler Brothers are from. 

It's in the mountains. 

The Appalachian mountains, which are beautiful, and the people in Staunton were very nice (one lady ran a beautiful resto in the middle of the town... she spoke French, which made things easier, considering if we spoke English, we got kicked out).

Anyway, we had all gone tubing on the James River, and all 40 of us were sitting around, and nearby were some locals.  We called them "les cous-rouges" which literally translates as "red neck," the expression doesn't exist in French, but we had to call them something.

So, they had overheard us speaking en franÁais, and we heard one of them say, "I don't know why they waste their time teachin' em French.  I had enough trouble with English."

This was not said out of ironic self-deprectation.

One of the girls overheard him and said... rather loudly... "J'en suis sŻr."  Which means, "I'm sure of that."

Oh, how we laughed!


them was my kin folks, you assholes.   >:(
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline pozguy75

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #46 on: August 25, 2007, 06:20:22 PM »

them was my kin folks, you assholes.   >:(

I like the Statler Brothers..."Momma sang tenor..." I knew there was something masculine about her...not even an alto...puhlease!
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline fearless

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #47 on: August 25, 2007, 06:22:48 PM »
Sorry, gotta ask - what is a hush puppy? out here they are a type of shoe!!!
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline thunter34

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Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #48 on: August 25, 2007, 06:25:03 PM »
Sorry, gotta ask - what is a hush puppy? out here they are a type of shoe!!!

they are shoes here also...but they are also delicious balls of cornbread, specially seasoned to perfection.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Ted Haggard can get you into heaven...but it will cost you.
« Reply #49 on: August 25, 2007, 06:27:26 PM »
hush puppies are the most incredible edible food in the entire universe

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hushpuppy
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

 


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