Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 28, 2014, 06:36:52 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 24072
  • Latest: Esfesf
Stats
  • Total Posts: 647682
  • Total Topics: 49360
  • Online Today: 157
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 109
Total: 111

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Dating and HIV  (Read 7019 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Dating and HIV
« on: August 24, 2007, 05:03:43 PM »
Why is it that every dating website for HIV+ people sucks?

It is hard to find attractive women with HIV these days (who actually know they're positive) that are not crazy.

I know this is supposedly a woman's only forum but if any of you can share some active sites it'd be well appreciated.

And yes, I'm a guy. And I'm a hot. It really sucks I have HIV. I don't phuck hookers or people that are negative so that leaves me with serious slim pickings.

If any of you know of any sites or can help me out it'd be great. Thanks.


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2007, 05:08:27 PM »
Sun,

Please read the Welcome thread at the top of the Women's forum. As a man, you should not be posting in that forum.

I've moved your thread to the Living With forum.

Please don't post in that forum again. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline IzPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2007, 05:34:31 PM »
Hi Sun,

I had good luck with hivnet.com. Such good luck in fact, that I no longer had the link and had to search to make sure that the site I was giving was correct.

Don't give up on those who don't post photos right away. I didn't post a picture of myself, and still wound up with a great guy that I've been dating for over three months now.

So, strike up a conversation with someone near you, and ask for a picture or something.

Good luck!
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2007, 05:37:45 PM »
Well don't think hetero's have only that problem... I been on a few dates... driven to Atlanta.. flown to NYC.. traveled to South Beach... St Pete... and several other places around the good ole USA... the homos are just as CRAZY if not more than HETERO'S ... their ad. states one thing but, their totally the opposite... and not just in looks... MENTAL... FREAKS...or they think their more than they are? hooked on drugs... you name it...  etc... but, I have met a few.... very few who seemed sincere and nice... check out the poz personal site... I've read almost everyones ad... also I've chatted, written, then if more happens to be able to meet... I check out their information through several services I retain... and 99% are in fantasy land or looking for God only knows what but, nothing as stated in their personal...so the best of luck for you... your not in the boat alone...

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2007, 05:42:21 PM »
[
Why is it that every dating website for HIV+ people sucks?

It is hard to find attractive women with HIV these days (who actually know they're positive) that are not crazy.

I know this is supposedly a woman's only forum but if any of you can share some active sites it'd be well appreciated.

And yes, I'm a guy. And I'm a hot. It really sucks I have HIV. I don't phuck hookers or people that are negative so that leaves me with serious slim pickings.

If any of you know of any sites or can help me out it'd be great. Thanks.


  Hello, I remember you, it's been a while. Hope you have been well.                                                                                   To answer your question.I am female but also find it  difficult to find HIV+ guys to date that aren't losers or crazy. I think I've been  on 2 dates since I found out I was POZ in 2004. One was a weirdo and the other very nice but we didn't click. I use POZpersonals and recently joined Pozmatch as well. Still not much luck but someone once pointed out that the dating pool we have to choose from has decreased greatly. Just keep trying. Hope this was of some use to you.    Cristy

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2007, 06:44:09 PM »
Well don't think hetero's have only that problem... I been on a few dates... driven to Atlanta.. flown to NYC.. traveled to South Beach... St Pete... and several other places around the good ole USA... the homos are just as CRAZY if not more than HETERO'S ... their ad. states one thing but, their totally the opposite... and not just in looks... MENTAL... FREAKS...or they think their more than they are? hooked on drugs... you name it...  etc... but, I have met a few.... very few who seemed sincere and nice... check out the poz personal site... I've read almost everyones ad... also I've chatted, written, then if more happens to be able to meet... I check out their information through several services I retain... and 99% are in fantasy land or looking for God only knows what but, nothing as stated in their personal...so the best of luck for you... your not in the boat alone...

Having met my fair share of drug addicts and loony freaks, I'll agree with you, at least in part.

It's always been my MO to have someone transform from hook-up to fb to regular to sharing more in-depth emotional stuff. But in the four years that I've been single after a nine-year relationship, I've found few if any truly credible candidates for promotion from fb to regular. Maybe I'm unduly picky, maybe I've had a string of bad luck, maybe my tactics are no longer age-appropriate, maybe I'm not really trying.

To give Troppie some slim advice:
Your writing style and signature pic makes you out as a SoBe player. There's nothing wrong with that if you're looking for a hook-up. But if you're looking for life-partner material, maybe you can reassess your stance and probe beneath the surface. Maybe you're attracting the wrong type because you're sending out the wrong image.

I myself have always been attracted to bad boys and have been on some pretty wild rides over the years. But my few attempts as domestic bliss with responsible and conscientious types have humiliated us both. At the age of 47, I frankly don't know how to move beyond this, so any advice that is honest and comes from the heart also comes from a place as lonely as your own. 
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2007, 07:55:04 PM »
Hello Suntropic

To give Troppie some slim advice:
Your writing style and signature pic makes you out as a SoBe player. There's nothing wrong with that if you're looking for a hook-up. But if you're looking for life-partner material, maybe you can reassess your stance and probe beneath the surface. Maybe you're attracting the wrong type because you're sending out the wrong image.

I'm not entirely sure what a SoBe player is but I'm guessing it ain't so favourable as far as long term relationships go. What Brent said about sending out the wrong image must be correct, because as a single lady who is neither a whore or lunatic, I have to admit that I got what we women call 'the ick' just from your initial post. 

I don't mean this as an attack, just an honest response. I can't quite put my finger on why I felt 'the ick'. Maybe it was the sweeping statement:

It is hard to find attractive women with HIV these days (who actually know they're positive) that are not crazy.

I have friends on these very forums who are both attractive and not crazy (well, not in a bad way anyway :D) and not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but as well as being not so crazy myself, I also don't think I'm too sore on the eyes in the right light...

Or maybe it was this that gave me the ick:

I don't phuck hookers or people that are negative so that leaves me with serious slim pickings.

Whereas I understand the sentiment behind it, well, the way you put it across made me shudder a little.

I'm sorry you are HIV+ and I'm sorry you're finding it difficult to find appropriate dates but (and this is only a suggestion) maybe you need to readdress your approach rather than just the sites you are using.

Again, as a woman, I'm offering this as advice and not as an attack.

Best of luck!

Melia
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2007, 08:05:31 PM »
I myself have always been attracted to bad boys and have been on some pretty wild rides over the years. But my few attempts as domestic bliss with responsible and conscientious types have humiliated us both. At the age of 47, I frankly don't know how to move beyond this, so any advice that is honest and comes from the heart also comes from a place as lonely as your own. 

Brent honey, I know we've talked about this between us in private several times, but seeing as you put it out here I thought I'd repeat my thoughts here.

It's the attraction to the 'bad boys' that you'll need to curb if you're really looking for domestic bliss because you won't get one with the other, that's a cert.

If our minds and hearts are attuned to bad boy behaviour in relationships, then anything other than that - for example, responsible and conscientious types - will appear dull to us.

I think changing that comes down to training ourselves to maximise our self appreciation, self worth and choice patterns and I'm guessing that only comes with the right kind of therapy.

Bisous toujours
Melia :-*
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2007, 08:40:48 PM »
sweetasmeli,

just had to write that I REALLY like your responses here. You come across as very caring and at the same time get your point across. I wish I had those skills. :D

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2007, 01:37:12 PM »
Hi all! Thanks for the responses, they were helpful. And for the record I am not a SoBe player....may have been once before( who hasn't been) but growing up has taught me a lot over the years. Definitely not the same person I was a 3 or 4 years ago, before that I was 10xs as worse. Again, thanks to all.  8)

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2007, 01:45:08 PM »
[  Hello, I remember you, it's been a while. Hope you have been well.                                                                                   To answer your question.I am female but also find it  difficult to find HIV+ guys to date that aren't losers or crazy. I think I've been  on 2 dates since I found out I was POZ in 2004. One was a weirdo and the other very nice but we didn't click. I use POZpersonals and recently joined Pozmatch as well. Still not much luck but someone once pointed out that the dating pool we have to choose from has decreased greatly. Just keep trying. Hope this was of some use to you.    Cristy


Yea I met a crazy too. She was hot but totally whacked. Definitely was a feminist in the making though and always had that anti-male tone in her word choice. I guess I can't blame her....she was fucked over by pretty much every male in her life. Even still I saw the confrontations a mile away and knew things would never work out. Personally I think she had been though too much to come back from the dark side. lol. Oh well, time heals all wounds, right?
« Last Edit: August 27, 2007, 02:07:47 PM by Suntropic98 »

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2007, 02:07:00 PM »
Hello Suntropic

I'm not entirely sure what a SoBe player is but I'm guessing it ain't so favourable as far as long term relationships go. What Brent said about sending out the wrong image must be correct, because as a single lady who is neither a whore or lunatic, I have to admit that I got what we women call 'the ick' just from your initial post. 

I don't mean this as an attack, just an honest response. I can't quite put my finger on why I felt 'the ick'. Maybe it was the sweeping statement:

I have friends on these very forums who are both attractive and not crazy (well, not in a bad way anyway :D) and not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but as well as being not so crazy myself, I also don't think I'm too sore on the eyes in the right light...

Or maybe it was this that gave me the ick:

Whereas I understand the sentiment behind it, well, the way you put it across made me shudder a little.

I'm sorry you are HIV+ and I'm sorry you're finding it difficult to find appropriate dates but (and this is only a suggestion) maybe you need to readdress your approach rather than just the sites you are using.

Again, as a woman, I'm offering this as advice and not as an attack.

Best of luck!

Melia

Melia!

No offense taken babe, guranteed. And if you don't know what SoBe means then I defintely can't blame you for not knowing what a SoBe player is. It's a Florida thing.

I'm not really trying to send out any messege at all on these forums. I was just asking for some site recs. I'm sorry you got the "female ick" and I'm having a hard time understanding what that is but if I had to guess maybe you thought it was creepy? If so, to each their own. I'm blunt in every sense of the word. So we'll leave it at that. I'm sorry it made you shudder. I can assure you my intentions were solely platonic.

As far as my approach goes it's not the women and how I approach them, I'm about as laid back and likeable as one can get. They all liked me and were pretty pissed when I either dropped off the face of the earth or flat out told them they needed to look elsewhere. I guess I'm picky but I've been involved with some pretty whacked out women that had serious daddy issues or had past BFs that did some terrible things to them and as a result it skewered their perception of men thus doomed any future relationship opps they may have been presented with. I flat out told one woman she needed therapy before we ever talked again. She agreed but was pissed I basically told her she was crazy. Never heard a word since. Call it the good samaritan in me or whatever you want but I like to try and help women that have been through complete shit, can't explain it but I feel like helping people.

Thanks for your honest response and check your PM box.  ;D ;)
« Last Edit: August 27, 2007, 02:10:27 PM by Suntropic98 »

Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2007, 02:10:25 PM »
Hey Sunny,

I have a personal on poz.com and pozmatch. Not for finding a girlfriend. I just want to get in touch with folks who are like me parent, working and so on. Women as well as men. I have very good experiences. the people I met and spoke with actually are very nice and kind. Perhaps it makes a difference that i'm not 'on the hunt'. I dunno.

On the other side, I met someone special here on the forums. We bot weren't chasing so we were talking about all kinds of stuff and that's how we learned to know eachother better and better. Perhaps this approach makes a difference.

Whatever you will do, sooner or later you'll find your luck! When you don't shoot you'll always miss!

greetz,
Zeb

Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #13 on: August 27, 2007, 02:17:42 PM »
I guess I'm picky but I've been involved with some pretty whacked out women that had serious daddy issues or had past BFs that did some terrible things to them and as a result it skewered their perception of men thus doomed any future relationship opps they may have been presented with.

To mention one of many issues:
Don't forget some women were infected by their long term partner assuming they were faithfull. I can understand that these women can have issues, serious isues and I don't blame them. A life with hiv is not easy, especially when you had a partner who infected you or was abusive.

something to think about if you ask me.

Zeb

Offline englishgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 387
  • ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #14 on: August 27, 2007, 02:20:22 PM »
Yea I met a crazy too. She was hot but totally whacked. Definitely was a feminist in the making though and always had that anti-male tone in her word choice.
honey you need to stop using the word 'feminist' as an insult if you want any decent woman to want to be with you. i think i get what you meant, but feminist was deffo the incorrect choice of descriptor.

forgive me but im getting the message from your posts that you yourself have some issues to do with how you view women, and i wonder if therefore you are without realising it making your experiences into self-fulfilling prophecies. i once knew a guy who often said 'why is it every woman im involved with is crazy?' and the answer lay in the question - he made them crazy!!

i wish you luck in your search, have you tried poz personals? one thing i would say is dont discount profiles without pictures, cos many of us have very good reasons for not wanting to post our faces on a poz dating site that is accessible to all and sundry.

best wishes
xx
ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN:
http://campaigning.tht.org.uk/cms/cmsloader?WfJVLp&view=11,301,1385,0,-html

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17352.0


"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #15 on: August 27, 2007, 02:51:24 PM »
honey you need to stop using the word 'feminist' as an insult if you want any decent woman to want to be with you. i think i get what you meant, but feminist was deffo the incorrect choice of descriptor.

forgive me but im getting the message from your posts that you yourself have some issues to do with how you view women, and i wonder if therefore you are without realising it making your experiences into self-fulfilling prophecies. i once knew a guy who often said 'why is it every woman im involved with is crazy?' and the answer lay in the question - he made them crazy!!

i wish you luck in your search, have you tried poz personals? one thing i would say is dont discount profiles without pictures, cos many of us have very good reasons for not wanting to post our faces on a poz dating site that is accessible to all and sundry.

best wishes
xx



I was not using the word feminist as an insult. I guess the interpretation is really how the reader perceives the word meaning. I have no problem at all with feminists just as long as they don't have a problem with who I am. When they start calling men in general pigs, womanizers, egotistical or self-centered cold cocks that care nothing other than getting their penis wet......then I have a problem. I am a strong advocate for women's rights / equal pay. I believe that women, just as immigrants, make this country a better place for all of us.

As far as the self-fullfilling issue, I never said all the women I have been involved with were crazy....just the POZ ones I met. I have been involved with some of the most amazing, caring and selfless women one could meet. Problem was I was not ready to settle down and no matter how many are still chasing me the fact that I'm poz still remains and I steer clear of them for their health safety. Definitely am not divulging my status. What reallys sucks would be the fact that some probably think something is wrong with them as to why I ignore their advances. But like i said, I don't sleep with negative people. I would never forgive myself if I infected someone and I don't feel like going to jail.

Yes I tried POZ personals. It blows. As does positivesingles.com And I totally feel you on the pic profile thing, I'm the same way.


Hit me up on the PM if you want.

Sunny


Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #16 on: August 27, 2007, 03:00:36 PM »
Maybe I can give this a shot. Sun...you still dont know what a feminist is and you are using it as an insult.
Feminist....is more about a persons rights and not about name calling.
The right to earn an equal wage.
The right to be treated as an equal in a relationship....as in making decisions about money or moving.
The right to have control over her body...as in birth control if desired.
The right to be respected.
Even.....the right to be President of the United States
etc

Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2007, 03:18:54 PM »
Maybe I can give this a shot. Sun...you still dont know what a feminist is and you are using it as an insult.
Feminist....is more about a persons rights and not about name calling.
The right to earn an equal wage.
The right to be treated as an equal in a relationship....as in making decisions about money or moving.
The right to have control over her body...as in birth control if desired.
The right to be respected.
Even.....the right to be President of the United States
etc




hey bear!

It defintely was not intended to be an insult. But for your information here is a definition of feminism:

Feminism comprises a number of social, cultural and political movements, theories and moral philosophies concerned with gender inequalities and discrimination against women. Feminism is also described as an ideology focusing on equality of the sexes.[1] Some have argued that gendered and sexed identities, such as "man" and "woman", are social constructs. Feminists often differ in opinion over the sources of inequality, how to attain equality, and the extent to which gender and gender-based identities should be questioned and critiqued. Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign for a woman's right to bodily integrity and autonomy on matters such as reproductive rights, including the right to abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care; for protection from domestic violence; against sexual harassment and rape; for workplace rights, including maternity leave and equal pay; and against other forms of discrimination.[2]

Since the 1980s standpoint feminists have argued that the feminist movement should address global issues (such as rape, incest, and prostitution) and culturally specific issues (such as female genital mutilation in some parts of Africa and the Middle East and "glass ceiling" practices that impede women's advancement in developed economies) in order to understand how gender inequality interacts with racism, homophobia, colonialism, and classism in a "matrix of domination."[3][4]

HOWEVER!!!!!

This is what gets me the most.....

"Feminism sees the capitalist sexist hierarchy as the defining feature of women’s oppression. Feminists believe that women can free themselves only when have done away with what they consider an inherently oppressive and dominating system. Feminists feel that the male-based authority and power structure are responsible for oppression and inequality, and that as long as the system and its values are in place, society will not be able to reform in any significant way. Feminism sees capitalism as a barrier to ending oppression. Most feminists see no alternatives other than the total uprooting and reconstruction of society in order to achieve their goals."

Does that not bother you? Uprooting Capitalism and reconstructing society inorder to achieve their goals? I mean everyone is entitled to their opinion but c'mon. This is America. If you don't like the system that much then leave or vote for someone who fits your ideals and beliefs. I suppose one could always move to Canada, France or Germany (which is not a bad idea in my opinion) if men really bother them that much. If you ask me women rule this country behind the scenes already and it's not really a bad thing. 2 heads are better than one.

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2007, 03:36:08 PM »
Sun
well ya...I dont think that this constitutes feminism as I know it:
quote you....
"Feminism sees the capitalist sexist hierarchy as the defining feature of women’s oppression. Feminists believe that women can free themselves only when have done away with what they consider an inherently oppressive and dominating system. Feminists feel that the male-based authority and power structure are responsible for oppression and inequality, and that as long as the system and its values are in place, society will not be able to reform in any significant way. Feminism sees capitalism as a barrier to ending oppression. Most feminists see no alternatives other than the total uprooting and reconstruction of society in order to achieve their goals."

that must be the RADICAL Feminists? 
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2007, 03:50:25 PM »
Sun
well ya...I dont think that this constitutes feminism as I know it:
quote you....
"Feminism sees the capitalist sexist hierarchy as the defining feature of women’s oppression. Feminists believe that women can free themselves only when have done away with what they consider an inherently oppressive and dominating system. Feminists feel that the male-based authority and power structure are responsible for oppression and inequality, and that as long as the system and its values are in place, society will not be able to reform in any significant way. Feminism sees capitalism as a barrier to ending oppression. Most feminists see no alternatives other than the total uprooting and reconstruction of society in order to achieve their goals."

that must be the RADICAL Feminists? 

You would be correct if I had to make an educated guess, yet it is still femenism and it ( like I previously stated ) is really defined by the interpretation of the individual.

And if you don't mind if I quote you again...

Maybe I can give this a shot. Sun...you still dont know what a feminist is and you are using it as an insult.
Feminist....is more about a persons rights and not about name calling.
The right to earn an equal wage.
The right to be treated as an equal in a relationship....as in making decisions about money or moving.
The right to have control over her body...as in birth control if desired.
The right to be respected.
Even.....the right to be President of the United States
etc

I don't really think that definition in of itself can accurately describe a feminist, I think what you are describing is more less a human rights activist. Agreed?

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2007, 04:02:43 PM »
Sun
 I am 63 years old and I remember when women were burning their bras and the first birth control pills went on the market....they were called feminists then.
When women demanded an equal rights amendment to the constitution they were still called feminists.
When "MS Magazine" went on the news stands they were called feminists for publishing that.
They were called feminists when they criticised PLAYBOY CLUBS for making their waitresses walk in spike heels and serve drinks on a tiny tray dressed in a one piece.
I think the "feminist" word has been misused a lot...but, yes, its basically a human rights issue in my book.
If you think there is some sort of political conspiracy going on by feminists, who want to overthrow our government, then you need to rethink the reason you feel this way.
modified to add: I am pretty sure Lorena Bobbit was not a feminist ....she was just pissed off and fed up with being mistreated.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2007, 04:12:47 PM by bear60 »
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2007, 04:19:54 PM »
Sun
 I am 63 years old and I remember when women were burning their bras and the first birth control pills went on the market....they were called feminists then.
When women demanded an equal rights amendment to the constitution they were still called feminists.
When "MS Magazine" went on the news stands they were called feminists for publishing that.
They were called feminists when they criticised PLAYBOY CLUBS for making their waitresses walk in spike heels and serve drinks on a tiny tray dressed in a one piece.
I think the "feminist" word has been misused a lot...but, yes, its basically a human rights issue in my book.
If you think there is some sort of political conspiracy going on by feminists, who want to overthrow our government, then you need to rethink the reason you feel this way.
modified to add: I am pretty sure Lorena Bobbit was not a feminist ....she was just pissed off and fed up with being mistreated.


So basically what you're trying to say is that the word feminist is actually a derrogatory term rather than a description of certain women's political / social view points?

Offline englishgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 387
  • ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2007, 07:07:08 PM »
ok, while trying to breathe deeply:
bear thank you thank you thank you
sunseeker yeah, all bear was saying. you seem to have confused the radical feminists with self-respecting women in general.

anyway, to address some of your earlier points (not even bothering to try to address the 'feminism' thing) (and apologies to those who remember the goatwriter thread cos this reminds me of it):
As far as the self-fullfilling issue, I never said all the women I have been involved with were crazy....just the POZ ones I met.
i think you missed my point entirely. and thanks for disparaging an entire group of people in one statement. altho im sure my words will be wasted as my comments will probably be included in your idea of 'crazy'.

Problem was I was not ready to settle down and no matter how many are still chasing me the fact that I'm poz still remains and I steer clear of them for their health safety.
learn about safe sex and you can safely have a long term relationship with a negative partner

Definitely am not divulging my status.
im sorry you dont feel able to disclose. i hope that one day you meet someone who you feel you can be honest with, because only then will you be able to move to the next level of a relationship

But like i said, I don't sleep with negative people.
im confused now. im thinking youre saying you never disclose but you only sleep with poz women???

I would never forgive myself if I infected someone and I don't feel like going to jail.
heard and understood and respect for having that opinion
but if you have safe sex then you wont infect someone

Yes I tried POZ personals. It blows. As does positivesingles.com And I totally feel you on the pic profile thing, I'm the same way.
im not yet that disparaging about poz personals - still got hope!

anyways, good luck in your search
ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN:
http://campaigning.tht.org.uk/cms/cmsloader?WfJVLp&view=11,301,1385,0,-html

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17352.0


"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,363
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2007, 07:24:10 PM »

To give Troppie some slim advice:
Your writing style and signature pic makes you out as a SoBe player. There's nothing wrong with that if you're looking for a hook-up. But if you're looking for life-partner material, maybe you can reassess your stance and probe beneath the surface. Maybe you're attracting the wrong type because you're sending out the wrong image.



Suntropic

I'm glad Bucko primed the message pipeline here. I, too, remember you from a while ago. And, yes, you need only read the post you just posted to get all of our responses.

" I'm a hot." What's that? I'm going to suggest that you decide what type of woman you wish to attract. Then, talk to some women about how to "market" yourself. Your barechested photo, your bragging, etc. is, I have no doubt, a turn off for many young women. Are you handsome, yes? But, why not let her come to that conclusion and get to say it rather than you. Your next eligible MIGHT be reading this post!!

Some counseling might, MIGHT, be helpful to you as this is NOT an easy thing to navigate. If I were a young male, I might be driven mad---so I give you a lot of credit for reaching out for advice. And, women WILL give advice.

Got a different photo of yourself? Give us a chance to see different aspects of your personality and we'll give you feedback if you like.

Gee, I just skimmed and read some other posts to you. Some of us feel similarly.

Further, MANY VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN will not post for many reasons---it doesn't take much thinking to envision why that is.

Best regards
Em

Edited to add: Many very attractive women will not post PHOTOS (meant to include this)....
« Last Edit: August 28, 2007, 08:31:08 AM by emeraldize »

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #24 on: August 28, 2007, 01:41:25 PM »
Ok ok ok, if I have offended anyone I'm sorry. My feminist remark was not intended to insult anyone or any group of women/men. It was solely intended to describe a woman's radical political and social outlook on society I met and how our views would have severely conflicted which would inevitably lead to an unproductive relationship. Some of you need to lighten up IMO but then again I don't know you anymore than you know me.

As far as marketing myself. I am doing none of that. I did not ask for advice on how to approach women, I have plenty of success in that department. I am proud of my looks, I busted my ass for 7 years to get where I am and had no help along the way. So if I want to address myself as hot and you think it's wrong then thats your issue and you can think of me whatever you want. I'm not bragging at all. I actually feel sorry for people that think they are fat or don't look good. I used to be one of those people. I was 6'3-4 and 180 lbs and now I am 254 lbs built like Brian Urlacher. Yes, I am sure some women are turned off by my appearance but as far as I'm concerned more power to them. I am happy with myself and the way I look and believe it or not but being POZ has made me take even better care of myself, whats wrong with being proud about that or making mention of my success in an area so many have failed (think inspirational)? And I am not one to make my looks known when talking with a lady, they can see for theirselves. I made mention of it here because I didnt come here looking to pick up someone from this site/thread....I made this thread asking for site recs, did I not?

For the record, I did not come here to make enemies but for some reason I get this feeling like I am having to walk on eggshells for some odd reason. Whats up with that? To all who remember me from a long time ago, good to hear from you again and I hope health and prosperity endow you. This site has helped me alot, especially when I first found out I was poz. I figured if I wanted some advice on site recs what better place to come to than here?

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #25 on: August 28, 2007, 01:53:25 PM »
ok, while trying to breathe deeply:
bear thank you thank you thank you
sunseeker yeah, all bear was saying. you seem to have confused the radical feminists with self-respecting women in general.

anyway, to address some of your earlier points (not even bothering to try to address the 'feminism' thing) (and apologies to those who remember the goatwriter thread cos this reminds me of it):i think you missed my point entirely. and thanks for disparaging an entire group of people in one statement. altho im sure my words will be wasted as my comments will probably be included in your idea of 'crazy'.
 learn about safe sex and you can safely have a long term relationship with a negative partner
im sorry you dont feel able to disclose. i hope that one day you meet someone who you feel you can be honest with, because only then will you be able to move to the next level of a relationship
im confused now. im thinking youre saying you never disclose but you only sleep with poz women???
heard and understood and respect for having that opinion
but if you have safe sex then you wont infect someone
im not yet that disparaging about poz personals - still got hope!

anyways, good luck in your search

First off you need to relax. Your comments are taken for face value and nothing is disregarded automatically because you think I think you may be one of the crazy ones......because you're wrong, I don't know you enough to think anything about you.

Safe sex is never 100% safe. Any fool knows that. Condoms bust or slip off inside chicks all the time. I've had both happen. I don't think it would be fair to a neg person if that should happen and then I put them at risk.

As far as disclosing my status, I've done it in the past....to my closest friends, now 1/2 refuse to even speak to me that know. I decided for now disclosing is not a good thing to negative people, maybe you misread me? Where I live there is still a horrible stigma attached to HIV.

Offline englishgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 387
  • ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #26 on: August 28, 2007, 03:29:14 PM »
hi there
im sorry that youve had such a bad experience from disclosing. to be honest having read your past posts and having picked up (i think) a bit of an idea about your social circle, lifestyle, etc, i dont think that you will be in the most supportive environment where you are now. you say that where you live there is still a horrible stigma attached to hiv. there are 2 responses to this other than hiding. one is activism, the other is to move. maybe you need to change your environment. people whose lives are based around shagging and image are not necessarily the best people to turn to in a crisis, when you need support, or when youre an outsider (which due to your status you now are).

as far as the safe sex thing, there are countless serodiscordant couples (many on this forum) who have managed to have safe sexual relationships. and there is always pep if the worst happens. whilst i admire your desire to not put a neg person at risk, it is their decision to take if they are fully in possession of all the facts. and as for the condom problems youve experienced, maybe you just need to be a bit more careful in future? in the nicest possible way, you'd be surprised to discover how many people think they know correct condom procedure but actually dont. our very fine goderator ann has a link to do with all these things. no insult intended.

i think the key here is whether you want a hook-up or a life partner. cos if you want a life partner, then i think that you should maybe be prepared to look at neggies as well. it is possible to have a safe sexual relationship with a negative partner, and as youve stated there arent that many single poz hetero women out there. as far as hookups go, cant really advise, it's your decision. your determination not to sexually go near anyone neg is an admirable aim in protection/prevention, but not only is it possibly an unnecessary step, i think you'll find the next 60 years a bit boring if you manage to stick to it! especially seeing as you dont like the poz dating sites, and there dont appear at present to be any alternatives.

lastly, re the walking on eggshells thing: i think i speak for quite a few of us 'chicks' when i say that it's terminology such as that which makes us uncomfortable. also, the image thing, it just doesnt give a good impression, along with references to 'hot chicks' it makes you appear to only care about looks. congrats on managing to train and get a good body, but sorry to tell you that you may need to get less attached to body image in the future - the disease and the meds can do all sorts of nasty things to your body.

ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN:
http://campaigning.tht.org.uk/cms/cmsloader?WfJVLp&view=11,301,1385,0,-html

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17352.0


"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #27 on: August 28, 2007, 04:55:38 PM »
hi there
im sorry that youve had such a bad experience from disclosing. to be honest having read your past posts and having picked up (i think) a bit of an idea about your social circle, lifestyle, etc, i dont think that you will be in the most supportive environment where you are now. you say that where you live there is still a horrible stigma attached to hiv. there are 2 responses to this other than hiding. one is activism, the other is to move. maybe you need to change your environment. people whose lives are based around shagging and image are not necessarily the best people to turn to in a crisis, when you need support, or when youre an outsider (which due to your status you now are).

as far as the safe sex thing, there are countless serodiscordant couples (many on this forum) who have managed to have safe sexual relationships. and there is always pep if the worst happens. whilst i admire your desire to not put a neg person at risk, it is their decision to take if they are fully in possession of all the facts. and as for the condom problems youve experienced, maybe you just need to be a bit more careful in future? in the nicest possible way, you'd be surprised to discover how many people think they know correct condom procedure but actually dont. our very fine goderator ann has a link to do with all these things. no insult intended.

i think the key here is whether you want a hook-up or a life partner. cos if you want a life partner, then i think that you should maybe be prepared to look at neggies as well. it is possible to have a safe sexual relationship with a negative partner, and as youve stated there arent that many single poz hetero women out there. as far as hookups go, cant really advise, it's your decision. your determination not to sexually go near anyone neg is an admirable aim in protection/prevention, but not only is it possibly an unnecessary step, i think you'll find the next 60 years a bit boring if you manage to stick to it! especially seeing as you dont like the poz dating sites, and there dont appear at present to be any alternatives.

lastly, re the walking on eggshells thing: i think i speak for quite a few of us 'chicks' when i say that it's terminology such as that which makes us uncomfortable. also, the image thing, it just doesnt give a good impression, along with references to 'hot chicks' it makes you appear to only care about looks. congrats on managing to train and get a good body, but sorry to tell you that you may need to get less attached to body image in the future - the disease and the meds can do all sorts of nasty things to your body.




Englishgirl-

Don't take this the wrong way but you're really not good at interpreting much when it comes to me. You could not be more in right field than Sammy Sosa in a Cubs game. Believe it or not I actually have one of the best support circles one could have aside from an internet community.....I'm talking real life people who actually know me offline. I have parents and a brother who support me in everything I do and encourage me each and every day. The friends who do know about my status that still associate with me call me all the time and check on me and are actively a part of my life. I'm somewhat of a celebrity in the HIV world with my doctors and the employees that work for them. In less than 18 months my numbers (CD4/VL) have went from 165/70,000 to 780/undetectable and continue to rise phenomenally each month. I am actually a main case study for the University of Florida and one of the heads of the department reguarly stays in contact with me......which brings me to my physical well being / image thing, obviously I am doing something right. Maybe I could, if you would like, give you a few pages from my book to help out those numbers of yours?

Whether you realize it or not HIV still has a horrible stigma attached to it everywhere and I think most people would agree with me on it. I don't know about you but I choose not to run from things so moving is not an option and being as I am not an extremist or hollywood actor activism is not in my play book, though I actually condone activism. Thats all that really needs to be said about that.

As far as being around people whose lives are all about shagging and image, where are you getting this from-old posts? I hang out with no such people anymore and have not for a long time. Again, maybe you're a little misinformed or behind the times? Like I said, you don't know me as I don't know you. Making public assumptions is probably one of the worst actions you as an individual can do. It opens you up ridicule.

Back to the safe sex thing (does it seem like you and I are beating a dead horse on this one?), I have no problem with it. At all. Why does it seem like you are taking offense to my stance on it? I'm not hating on anyone who is with a negative person or saying having sex with negative people is unethical. I don't care what other people do. I just don't believe in putting someone else at risk, and whether you admit it or not if a poz person has sex with a neg person there is always some risk involved---hence the laws our government enacted for this exact reason. Maybe you could take a risk assement class and learn more about risk taking ratios? I did. True, the methods we have talked about GREATLY reduce the risk of transmitting HIV but I have reiterate nothing is 100% guranteed to prevent transmission.

About my condom issues, every guy has had issues with condoms at least once in his life. Give me a break.

Also, I never said there weren't that many poz hetero women out there. There are. There has to be. I just said I can't find them---hence my inquiry about different sites.  ;) ;D And while you admire my chivalristic consensus, you should note that I don't plan on living another 60 years. I'll be surprised if I live another 30 and if a cure comes out I'll probably die of happiness anyways.

Lastly, if I can quote you here.....

lastly, re the walking on eggshells thing: i think i speak for quite a few of us 'chicks' when i say that it's terminology such as that which makes us uncomfortable. also, the image thing, it just doesnt give a good impression, along with references to 'hot chicks' it makes you appear to only care about looks. congrats on managing to train and get a good body, but sorry to tell you that you may need to get less attached to body image in the future - the disease and the meds can do all sorts of nasty things to your body.

It's word tone such as yours that give off a resentful impression towards people like me, a guy you have been writing to for a couple of days now. Obviously you have something to be pissed off about towards guys that you are assuming I am like. Frankly you're not giving off a very good impression to me yourself and if you think I'm a concieted ass just come out and say it. If not, lay the hell off of the flaming word tone and actually stimulate my mind with some worthwhile conversation. If you like we can discuss the HIV virus itself, the medications that fight the virus as well as new theories in regards to super mechanisms and the fundemental approaches that must be understood when attempting to take back ground (for lack of a better term) from the virus within your body. To put it plainly I've done my homework and I am fully aware of what the meds and virus can do to a person's body, hence my approach towards it.  ;D

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,363
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #28 on: August 28, 2007, 10:18:25 PM »
Why is it that every dating website for HIV+ people sucks?

It is hard to find attractive women with HIV these days (who actually know they're positive) that are not crazy.

I know this is supposedly a woman's only forum but if any of you can share some active sites it'd be well appreciated.

And yes, I'm a guy. And I'm a hot. It really sucks I have HIV. I don't phuck hookers or people that are negative so that leaves me with serious slim pickings.

If any of you know of any sites or can help me out it'd be great. Thanks.



I don't think dear Englishgirl will mind one bit if I include her reacting to your request for MORE THAN SITE RECS (re-read your own post above) as similar to my own. You wrote you wanted some help---believe me, your pickings would be far greater than slim were you to actually read what either one of us wrote. Try to understand the mere investment in time, let alone content, was with the intention and kindness you might envisage would come from an older sister.

At this point, I encourage you to go be hot, be blazing hot, be so hot that no one can stand next to your flaming red-hot sexy self. OOOOOooops, don't be so hot that you spontaneously combust however. Have you ever read those stories of finding the charred remains of someone who was watching TV and simply, literally, burned out? They're scary!!

You'll get what you play for, trust in that. You're not helping to reduce the stigma you feel oppressed by one iota so that is additional heat with which your hot self will have to meld, er, even weld!

In a couple of years, you'll read what we wrote with a different set of eyes. I wish we could save you time...apparently, we cannot.

Best of luck in finding your next, to use your word,  "phuck".

Offline buca45

  • Member
  • Posts: 187
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #29 on: August 29, 2007, 10:53:11 AM »
Sun, wow, I really don't know where to start in trying to convey my feelings and thoughts to you.....and believe me, I am not a person to point fingers or to attempt to find negative things in others upon meeting them, so please don't take anything I say as a put down or a slur.
It is just that I don't know where you are coming from. You start off by saying that poz meeting sites all suck, but I have read of quite a few people who have found each other on these venues. Perhaps it is you who are at fault for not finding someone you actually want to meet and persue. Have you considered maybe just backing off on the "I'm hot and you best be too" line of thinking that you possess?
You go on to say that the beautiful women who are poz are all crazy. Well, of all people, can't you understand their "craziness" (if it does in fact exist) To be young and physically beautiful and have everything going for you only to become positive makes each of us crazy in some way. The fact that this disease may someday take away that part of ourselves that we believe makes us the person who is desired and loved, is a huge fact to deal with.
You say you feel sorry for people who are fat and have no physical appeal. That is such a nasty statement as I have friends who, while not Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, are the most amazing and compassionate people I have the pleasure of having in my life. They are full of self confidence as they have learned to look past the physical part of who they are and strive to show others the 'gorgeous' parts of themselves, their brains and their hearts. It is you who I actually feel sorry for as you cant seem to find anything of any value in a person unless their physical appearance isn't what you are turned on to.
Just remember, physical beauty fades fast, but compassion and other valuable qualities that people possess will never fade....in most cases, those qualities only intensify.
One statement that you made sort of made me stumble. You say you never disclose your status to anyone because of the stigma attached. I take it you live in South Beach, an area that has been devastated by this epidemic. Those who chose to retain that negativity are ignorant and not worth your time. As strong as your physical makeup is, your emotional being does seem to need a bit of a booster shot if you allow others judgments of you bring you down.
Also, along this same line of thought, if you don't disclose, how do you expect any kind of relationship to develop? You know they are poz, but at what point do you let them know you are? The statement that you don't 'hook up' with negative women would be false if these above statements were true.
I will share a bit about myself to allow you to make a comparison. To start off, I too have been very fortunate to be blessed by good genes to allow my physical appearance to be strong. Even after 15+ years of being positive, I still possess a "hotness" that guarantees me plenty (sometimes too much) of attention from both men and women .... I am gay. I take this attention as a compliment and am proud that i possess it, but it is not my only attribute that I have to offer others.
I don't judge others based on appearance only.....if anything, because of their flawless looks, I approach them apprehensively, if i approach them at all. Nothing is a bigger turn off than speaking to a person who is beautiful only to see that they have nothing else to offer.
I am now in a strong 10 year relationship with a man who I disclosed my status to within the first ten minutes of our first conversation. He took the info, processed it and we continued to speak. Three 'dates' later, he gave me his home key and we have been together ever since. He remains negative after these 10 years and I plan on him remaining that way for the rest of our lives together. It is hard to work out our sexual part of the game, but self respect and respect for each other comes before physical gratification.
Again, I don't want to get you angry or upset with my comments, but in reading your posts, you left me shaking my head with my misunderstanding where you are coming from.
I think the saying "In order to find love and compassion from others, one must be self assured that those qualities are found within themselves."
I'd like the opportunity to discuss further your views as I know along with that oh so hot exterior, there are the same wonderful qualities inside of your heart and mind.
Good Luck in your search for the idea, hot, beautiful and intelligent woman. Oh yeah, hope she is able to hide the craziness that we all feel thanks to this disease!!
"Love and Laughter and Happiness Ever After"

Offline wishihadacat

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
    • Therainstorm.com
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #30 on: August 29, 2007, 08:23:10 PM »
Why is it that every dating website for HIV+ people sucks?

It is hard to find attractive women with HIV these days (who actually know they're positive) that are not crazy.

I know this is supposedly a woman's only forum but if any of you can share some active sites it'd be well appreciated.

And yes, I'm a guy. And I'm a hot. It really sucks I have HIV. I don't phuck hookers or people that are negative so that leaves me with serious slim pickings.

If any of you know of any sites or can help me out it'd be great. Thanks.



The post that initiated this thread makes me wish I was young and obvious (as opposed to old and and obvious) again.

Do the sites "suck"?  Yes and no. For m/f dating, we all have our own experiences.

My only regret in responding to the question is that it makes it's author more visible and perpetuates a thread that should have died of its own toxicity days ago.
Your name here  X_______________

Offline PRMike

  • Member
  • Posts: 175
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2007, 08:53:58 AM »
Hi everyone it has been awhile since I posted anything and I was looking for Dating in General but I could not find it and I ran into this spot well I have met and have gone out on a couple of dates with a few ladies and there were 2 that I really liked and we became good friends and then there was this one female that as soon as I got home from our first date she called and asked me when were we getting married well I told her that I thought that we needed to get to know each other first and see if things would work out between us well she then said that I did not know how to love a woman and that I should take some classes in order to learn how to treat a woman. I am sorry but I treated her with respect and I will not get married without knowing who I am marrying, I was married for 23 years and I know that when I give my heart and soul it is forever and that is what I want in return. am I asking for to much
anyway thank you for hearing me out bye
PRMike

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #32 on: August 31, 2007, 09:01:34 AM »
No, I don't think you are asking for too much, but a person who has at least common sense might be a good start. Holy crap!

Better luck next time, Mike.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #33 on: August 31, 2007, 09:23:56 AM »
Hi everyone it has been awhile since I posted anything and I was looking for Dating in General but I could not find it and I ran into this spot well I have met and have gone out on a couple of dates with a few ladies and there were 2 that I really liked and we became good friends and then there was this one female that as soon as I got home from our first date she called and asked me when were we getting married well I told her that I thought that we needed to get to know each other first and see if things would work out between us well she then said that I did not know how to love a woman and that I should take some classes in order to learn how to treat a woman. I am sorry but I treated her with respect and I will not get married without knowing who I am marrying, I was married for 23 years and I know that when I give my heart and soul it is forever and that is what I want in return. am I asking for to much
anyway thank you for hearing me out bye
                                                                              No doubt, that one would have scared the hell out of me if I was a man. ;D  Best of luck to you.  Cristy

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #34 on: August 31, 2007, 10:13:12 AM »
quote PRMike: "there was this one female that as soon as I got home from our first date she called and asked me when were we getting married well I told her that I thought that we needed to get to know each other first and see if things would work out between us well she then said that I did not know how to love a woman and that I should take some classes in order to learn how to treat a woman. "
............................
Mike this sounds just like a movie out there called "Play Misty for Me" with Clint Eastwood.  Try to see it.  Its really chilling and scary.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline PRMike

  • Member
  • Posts: 175
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #35 on: August 31, 2007, 11:43:57 AM »
Hi yeah I have seen it and that is why I will not be getting back in touch with her plus I am now talking to a lady from Sarasota which I like alot even though we have not met in person yet but we seem to want the same things and we talk almost daily either on-line or on the phone so I hope that we will meet soon and that the attraction towards each other will still be there... well wish me luck and thank you
PRMike

Offline 404error

  • Member
  • Posts: 431
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #36 on: September 01, 2007, 12:45:59 AM »
Hey SunTropic, sorry to hear about your lack of luck in the quest for love with POZ ladies.  I too feel your pain man.  I've only met a handful of POZ women myself.  A few had clearly lied about their age, knocking what I would guess to be a solid decade from their real age.  (How they thought I'd never figure that one out is well beyond me.)  The others, I can't say there was anything wrong with, they just weren't for me.  That said, dating has always been that way.  You meet a ton of women, you only click with just a few and when you narrow your dating pool down to those who are also living with HIV, you're making your end goal even more difficult to reach.

I think moving to a location that has more positive women is the best bet.  I intend to do that later on this year and move back to Toronto.  (I'm cringing as I realize that it's going to be during the middle of winter but I digress...)  I'm not at all sold on internet dating.  I tried it a couple of times prior to becoming POZ, back when I had no problems meeting women, and soon realized that webcam trickery and online personas can vary greatly from how one comes across in person.

I was thinking of great vacation spots for the hetero poz male.  South Africa, Russia and the Ukraine come to mind.  More poz ladies equals more possiblities...  Oh to find a; nice, intelligent, funny, witty, fit, attractive woman to settle down with, or at least get to know and take things slowly with in hope that it one day leads to something long lasting and meaningful... one day...
A social critic who promotes equality...

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.