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Author Topic: I will spend my birthday away from my love.6000 miles apart is hard to live with  (Read 4046 times)

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Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,105
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Tomorrow is my birthday.
52 years ago little Hermie was born and as my mother said : the only baby that the nurses saw coming out of the womb with a smile on his face.
I also sadly remember my 20th year of HIV and especially tonight it feels weird.

I will be alone with my virus tomorrow, for the first time in many years.

My 50th birthday was spent in bed with high fever and nausea.
At least my husband was around to comfort me.

Now my birthday will be spent alone. Dan being 6000 miles away.

I have been reading some of the posts. So many new people on here, but still that strong family tie I found 2 years ago.
The only place where I can come and cry, for the pain of living with HIV, for loosing so many friends, for not being with Dan, for being on my own once more.

Thank you all for being here, and that is from the bottom of my heart.

A sad Belgian chocolate :-[ :-[ :-[
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,626
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Dear Herman,

I'm sorry you are feeling sad for your birthday....wishing you the best, can't wait to see you again!

love,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Hermala,

Your blog sisters wish you a happy birthday and want you to know they love you. :-*

MtD

Offline pozguy75

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,239
    • POZitively Speaking
Hi Hermie!!

I know what you mean...but you aren't alone really...but happy birthday and I hope your birthday wish comes true!!!

Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Dan J.

  • Guest
Don't be sad Hermie.  In a few short weeks we will be in San Francisco together. I wish I could be with you for your birthday, but I can't.

I will call you Wednesday AM.

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Love,

Dan

[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,825
Dearest Hermala...Wishing you a very happy birthday and thank God you are a month older than me!!!

Can't wait to see you in California next month my friend.

Jody  :D
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Herman,

I'm sorry your birthday will be a sad one for you, but know that you are cared for by many here.


Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Hey Hermie, I'm sorry to hear you won't have the happiest birthday tomorrow, but I wish you one just the same. :)

Maybe you can get out and do something you love to do, just for yourself.

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,259
Hermie, you'd best be asleep right now, but it's your birthday and I wish you the warmest Birthday Wishes I can muster across the seas!

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?artist=12635&vid=54114


I am very patiently waiting to see you & Dan again in September!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-GCjzOc87oU

much Love,
cr8on

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Hermie I suggest you pull out that neatly folded peice of paper you have in your back pocket and re-read all of the things you have to be thankful for honey.....  You might want to add a few things to that list when you are done....

I love you Herman and you are a mircle on earth.....  Happy Birthday

Eric

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,349
Hello Hermie!

To happify your birthday, I invite you to close your eyes, and remember the peace, quiet and morning sun on the deck at the bed and breakfast.

Remember the host, the cook, the fresh fruit and breads, Dan's smiling face, mine, the couple who were bicycling enthusiasts and so interested in our talk of the gathering.

Now, imagine someone walking onto that deck with a lovely birthday cake, candles aglow, and you turn left, to right, to behind you, and discover you are surrounded by all of your forum friends.

No, you don't have to blow the candles out. Let them burn.

In fact, let them burn until you arrive in San Francisco when you can blow the candles out, be hugged like crazy and celebrate til the C.O.W.S. come home (no, I still don't know what C.O.W.S. stands for).

Wishing I could see you and Dan in SF. Safe travel.

Em

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Sorry you are feeling so alone my Lil Hermes. That is no way to feel on one's birthday. I saw Dan's post and I know he wishes he could be there with you. Maybe you and him can have a belated bday party in SF.... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Van harte Gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag Hermie!

Long distance relationships are the bitch... but you seem to manage it.

Hope you'll be reunited with your other half soon. 
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline eirin

  • Member
  • Posts: 80
  • Member since March 2005
Dear Herman,

Hope you had a wonderful birthday, allthough you felt sad yesterday!

It was so great to enjoy your company last weekend, it was an inspiration
to see you in your element.

Lots of love and hugs to you and Lola  :-*

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Darling, your suffering is due to your own short-sightedness !!

Welcome HOPE in  , tomorrow will be brighter and fill with exciting and unexpected pleasant surprises !!

Wd
« Last Edit: August 22, 2007, 07:55:17 PM by water duck »

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,259
Here's a birthday BUMP! for Herman

BUMP!

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,105
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
On my birthday, my ex husband called and asked me out for the afternoon.
We went to the thermal bath and then he said he reserved a table somewhere.

He blindfolded me and we drove of... landed somewhere...I heard some strange voice asking what name we had made reservations on ... and when I got in and took my blindfold off I was at my friends Hotel Verhaegen, where I work... and 10 of my best friends where gathered and sang "happy birthday".

It made me happy that night, because I did not at all expect anything like it. Our own Waterduck came over as well and with the firepace burning, and the candles lit I felt so much love.

Only one was missing... Danny boy. He called in the midst of the surprise and made my luck complete. But as one of you PMed me : he is with you in spirit.

When I checked the Forums today you guys made me cry. To know that you were with me was the best present I could get.
Basqo, Jody,Eirin, Dragonette,Queen, Life,Paul, Water Duck, Iggy, my broken Matty !!!!!! and Poz and Alan... and yes Em, I just went back to Montreal in my imagination, and yes, I was very very happy...Thank you so much for being here.

I am getting impatient to get to SFO. Want to hug and kiss and touch and laugh with you all...
Danny boy...18 more days...

Love you all

Hermie :-* :-* :-*
« Last Edit: August 23, 2007, 05:23:58 PM by heartforyou »
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Dan J.

  • Guest
I am so glad that you had a nice surprise on your birthday! You deserve it, my sweet man of love.

Now get the chapt stick out, cause your gonna need it when I'm done with you.
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Dan

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
I'm sure chapstick won't be the only thing he will need to pack....Don't forget the Crisco.... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

 


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