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Author Topic: Vampires and disclosure  (Read 9360 times)

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Offline JR Gabbard

  • Member
  • Posts: 234
  • Union Jacks
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #50 on: August 24, 2007, 12:04:17 AM »
Oh god, we're fucked then.
It's next to impossible to make a star of David with your fingers.

Point of order.  One can do magical, wonderous things with the fingers, if one but tries.  And has been properly trained.

But a crucifix definitely won't work on a jewish vampire.  The blood only gets them more excited.  Believe me, I have tried this.

JR
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall, the major lift,
The baffled king composing Hallelujah!

L. Cohen

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #51 on: August 24, 2007, 02:33:35 AM »
I hear garlic and a crucifix will assist in these types of situations...

Garlic and a Crucifix do not work if you invite the vampire into your home.  However comma if you use Holy Water, you can fry the suckers.  Learned that on "The Lost Boys" or maybe... "Bordello of Blood"?.  Have the best day
Michael
« Last Edit: August 24, 2007, 02:36:30 AM by Sonomabeach »

Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #52 on: August 24, 2007, 02:34:51 AM »
Garlic and a Crucifix do not work if you invite the vampire into your home.  However comma if you use Holy Water, you can fry the suckers.  Learned that on "The Lost Boys".  Have the best day
Michael

The Lost Boys! I had such a crush on Keifer Sutherland when I saw that movie when I was 13. And then I realized the movie was made in 1987.
Sigh.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #53 on: August 24, 2007, 02:36:23 AM »
I had such a crush on Keifer Sutherland when I saw that movie when I was 13. And then I realized the movie was made in 1987.

Shaddup. :P

MtD

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #54 on: August 24, 2007, 02:38:55 AM »
I need to bannish two emotional vampires out of my life... any ideas?  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #55 on: August 24, 2007, 02:40:50 AM »
Jew or goyim?

MtD

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,631
  • Diagnosed + 1989
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #56 on: August 24, 2007, 07:22:55 AM »
I am wondering what Wish did about the situation?  Did he go back for more biting and sucking? :o
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

  • Guest
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #57 on: August 24, 2007, 08:01:15 AM »
hmm so if i get bitten by a vampire and turn , will i become HIV free?

Offline wishihadacat

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
    • Therainstorm.com
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #58 on: August 24, 2007, 08:09:35 AM »
I am wondering what Wish did about the situation?  Did he go back for more biting and sucking? :o

I'm waiting a few days before I call her again (I don't want her to think I'm that easy, and I do hate it when they don't respect you in the morning.)
Your name here  X_______________

Offline wishihadacat

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
    • Therainstorm.com
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #59 on: August 24, 2007, 03:02:15 PM »
Update:

So far, I haven’t felt any unusual effects from Cupcake’s bite (yes, that’s her real name.)  But when I got home from her house,  my wife noticed the bite marks that Cupcake’s extraordinary canines had left on my neck, and she decided she’d had enough, so she tossed all my shit out the window and shoved me out the door. I was desperate, so I called Cupcake on the cell.

“Cupcake” I said. “I know this is kind of sudden, but...."

“I know, you handsome fool”, she interrupted, “All vampires can foresee the future. Now you need a place to stay and you want to come back to my condo.”

“Great, but there’s something I need to tell you, Cupcake....”

“Yes, my love, you have the HIV”.  She already knew.

“You mean you KNEW”? I huffed a sigh of relief and anger. No more disclosure problem.

“Won’t my blood infect you?” I asked her.
 “I am already dead, my pet, no human virus can affect me.”
“What about me? Will I become immortal?”
“Of course,” she cooed, “You will be my mine for eternity. That is why I picked you up on jdate - all women know that jewish men make the best husbands.”

“Will I have any other side effects?” I asked.
“Only this one: from now on, when you look in the mirror, the image of your face will look as if someone ran it through Photoshop.”

I am not happy with her proposal.  Does anyone have a place I can crash?
« Last Edit: August 25, 2007, 08:36:14 AM by wishihadacat »
Your name here  X_______________

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #60 on: August 24, 2007, 03:37:06 PM »
try out a close by cemetary... maybe they'll have room for you... lol.

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #61 on: August 24, 2007, 03:39:55 PM »
On a related note - I just came back from Lunch and was in a bookstore....and what do I spy?  "Salem's Lot"

Been a long time since I last read so I bought it.

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #62 on: August 24, 2007, 03:54:42 PM »
I am not happy with her proposal.

Why not? I watched Interview With a Vampire the other night. If being gnawed by a vamp makes you look anything like Mr Pitt in those pants, then what's your concern?

Miss Melia
(who goes grrrrr at the mere sight of Mr Pitt ;D)
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #63 on: August 24, 2007, 05:17:44 PM »
Have a killer week-end!  ;D

Milker.

[attachment deleted by admin]
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mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
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oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
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apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
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may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #64 on: August 24, 2007, 05:32:27 PM »
try out a close by cemetary... maybe they'll have room for you... lol.


I live next to a cemetary, a very old one.  Have also been in the caves used in The Lost Boys.  They are really a few miles north of the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk under the campus at UC Santa Cruz.  Have the best day
Michael
(whose emotional vampires are Catholic)  

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #65 on: August 24, 2007, 05:40:01 PM »
hmm so if i get bitten by a vampire and turn , will i become HIV free?
I think you should turn three times to your left after being bitten and then invoke the powers of the Spirit Elements.  Have the best day
Michael

Offline pozguy75

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,239
    • POZitively Speaking
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #66 on: August 24, 2007, 06:25:05 PM »
On a related note - I just came back from Lunch and was in a bookstore....and what do I spy?  "Salem's Lot"

Been a long time since I last read so I bought it.

You read? With out pictures?? ;D
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #67 on: August 24, 2007, 07:11:43 PM »
zapped coz I type too slow.

:)

MtD

Offline pozguy75

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,239
    • POZitively Speaking
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #68 on: August 24, 2007, 07:14:32 PM »
zapped coz I type too slow.

:)

MtD

You know I am a quick one!
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #69 on: August 24, 2007, 07:15:43 PM »
Hehehehe. Ann mods faster than Matty types these days. :)

MtD

Offline wishihadacat

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
    • Therainstorm.com
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #70 on: August 24, 2007, 08:18:09 PM »
Hehehehe. Ann mods faster than Matty types these days. :)

MtD

Looks like they gave you the GOOD painkillers!
« Last Edit: August 24, 2007, 09:18:48 PM by wishihadacat »
Your name here  X_______________

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: Vampires and disclosure
« Reply #71 on: August 24, 2007, 08:22:48 PM »
You read? With out pictures?? ;D

Yeah, but I'm halfway through it and I still haven't found Waldo!

 


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