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Author Topic: DRAMA in my life  (Read 1991 times)

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Offline cokaine

  • Member
  • Posts: 42
DRAMA in my life
« on: August 21, 2007, 05:50:49 PM »
Ok - here it goes.

I was at my friend's house who I will name Nando this weekend and I asked him if I could use his computer while he was in the kitchen cooking dinner and he said ok. I was feeling a bit horny so I went to a dating/sex website and logged into my account and responded to a couple of ads, a few mins later he tells me dinner is ready and to hurry up before the food got cold so I left my account on his computer on by accident. After eating dinner and the long conversation in his kitchen I decided to go home and call it a night forgetting I left my account open in his computer. It was 2 am in the morning and I received a call from Nando and he sounded upset at me on the phone. I asked him what he wanted at this time of hour and he told me why i didn't tell him I was HIV positive and how could I have had sex with one of his friends being HIV positive. I asked him how he had come up with that conclusion and he admitted to me that he had snooped into my Dating website account and read all of my replies to the guys and in one of those replies my answer was:

"Yes, i am positive and if that is problem I am sorry"

At this point I was upset but also tired and didnt want to talk to him on the phone about this so I hanged up the phone on him and he continued to text messaging me nasty things and making me feel like I was a criminal. I did have protected sex with him friends 2 and half years ago before I knew I was poz but I was 100% responsible and from what i know he gets tested every 6 months for HIV and STD and is clean, so I dont feel the need to tell Nando or his friend I am poz. I was angry because Nando was reading things he shouldnt and he told me if I didn't tell his friend I was poz he would and I would be in deep trouble. So I did tell him and his friend told me it was ok because he has been testing himself every 3-6 months and has tested neg and didnt think i had given him anything because it had been over 2 years we haven't had sex and we used protection. SO now I am MAD at Nando and will never talk to him again after all the DRAMA he has caused me. WTF is he so paranoid if he and I have never had sex and his friend knows.

I then asked him if he remembered the stupid comment he made about HIV pos people a few years back which was:

Nando's comment a few years back :  " I could tell if someone is HIV positive, if they have a huge stomach that means they been taking meds for a very long time and are on the old meds and if their cheeks on their face sinks in that means they are on the new meds and have been recently infected"

My response this weekend: "So what medication am I on? the old one or the new one?"

Nando: " You look the same to me, you look healthy"

My response: "Exactly, you can't tell who is or isn't positive, so I suggest you go get tested tomorrow because from what I know you let a couple of guys BB while you were high, and I am witness to that and your theory is innacurate. I honestly hope you are negative but if you are positive I hope you tell every single person you had sex with recently the same way you FORCED me to do it, Good night and good luck"

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,119
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: DRAMA in my life
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2007, 06:02:40 PM »

I'm sure your are going to get plenty of advice on your situation.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: DRAMA in my life
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2007, 01:00:04 AM »
And so what was his answer?

I still have to convince my ex-bf to take the test, even though he's barebacked guys he knows are positive, but "as a top, there is no risk"... uh... yeah right.

mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

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Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,264
  • Ninja Please
Re: DRAMA in my life
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2007, 01:03:38 AM »
You left your sleazewhore.com or whatever account wide open where others could access it. You have no-one to blame but yourself.


Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: DRAMA in my life
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2007, 02:52:35 AM »
Cokaine, if your gut instinct is telling you to cut off all contact with this guy, then go with that. Don't feed into any "battle" or "revenge" dynamic just to see who finally "wins" or "loses". It's not worth it (especially if you lose LOL)

Offline jessem3s

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
Re: DRAMA in my life
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2007, 03:28:46 AM »
The key point here is: How important is your friendship with this person?

Is it worth mending or is it not even worth the time and effort. You have to step back and reflect on your friendship with him.
It’s no surprise he is upset after discovering your status through some hook up/date site. Then to top it off you had sex with a friend of his and he worried right away. He obviously has no business going through your emails/messages but then again you were at his house and he found it open so it’s no surprise.

You have opened your friends’ eyes and have put his cliché thoughts of HIV at question.
I think he will come around and try to regain friendship with you, but remember now he knows a secret about you.
He obviously used the website as a tool to FORCE you to spill the beans to his friend. What makes you think he won't use your status too?

Trust your inner instinct and reflect on your friendship with him.
Some friends need you more than you need them.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2007, 03:33:03 AM by jessem3s »


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