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Author Topic: Putting My mind at ease  (Read 5304 times)

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Offline naero

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Putting My mind at ease
« on: August 18, 2007, 03:53:16 PM »
Is this a risk:

unprotected oral for about 2 minutes, no ejaculation, protected intercourse for about 10 minutes, no ejaculation. We did have penis to vagina rubbing without protection and it was very fluid at that point. sick to think about sorry. Anyway...Several freaky symptoms two weeks later, (i know, i know, symptoms mean nothing). Took an HIV test at 47 days (the Clearview Oraquick whatever with blood) was negative, guy there said it really didn't sound like there was anything to worry about, and he didn't recommend me retesting (but he's not a doc so I don't know)
The guy knew I was freaking out and to calm me down he went in and got tested, I didn't go back with him, but he came out very normal and said he was negative. The person he slept with prior to me was in January so thats six months... is that conclusive? We've been friends for 17 years, I know and trust him for the most part, and feel he's being honest about his sexual encounters...

But why the painless swollen tonsils (completely closing my throat) negative strep and mono spot... why the night sweats and head tingling and low grade fever? I know, again, symptoms mean nothing.

I was protected, no ejaculation occured, no transfer of fluids except for the oral that I performed on him (precum), he tested negative at 6 months and I tested negative at 47 days (7 weeks-ish).

Is my risk low even though my anxiety is high?

« Last Edit: August 18, 2007, 03:58:26 PM by naero »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2007, 06:37:48 PM »
See a doctor for your concerns. You were never at risk.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2007, 09:14:08 PM »
Naero, the most important thing is that the guy was wearing a condom during intercourse. Condoms provide very effective protection against transmission.

As for the other activities, all of the rubbing and whatever did not put you at risk. HIV is a fragile virus and requires a much friendlier reception than rubbing gives it. That's assuming the guy you were with is even HIV+. But whether he is or isn't is irrelevant because infection doesn't happen that way.

With regarding to giving oral, your saliva has inhibiting elements which would neutralize HIV. There is much more evidence from longterm studies that giving oral, especially without ejaculation, is not a risk. There are a few anecdotal but not well documented cases which claim infection from giving oral. Like I said, the evidence is overwhelming that it is not a risk. And without ejaculation orally even less risky.

There is nothing even remotely HIV-specific about any of your symptoms. As Rod suggested, that's something to discuss with your doctor.

I don't see any need for testing for HIV, but assuming you do test, I expect you will just collect HIV negative results.

Cheers,
« Last Edit: August 20, 2007, 11:16:57 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2007, 07:19:46 PM »
Hi, I DID test negative at 47 days. So this should be sufficient, even with symptoms, I'd show up positive if i was, right?

And also, as dumb as it sounds, because I was drunk, there was NO saliva, I had cotton mouth like you wouldn't believe. Does this effect anything?

I can deal with whatever I have, I just want to be sure not to pass it on to my husband, he and i have reconciled and I don't want things that happened while we were split up to hurt his health.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2007, 11:17:53 PM »
You were never at risk to begin with so your having tested negative is great but no surprise. No further testing is necessary.

Get on with your life what I say.
Andy Velez

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2007, 06:51:23 PM »
I ended up having a tonsillectiomy and still i continue to have night sweats and low grade fevers, though my lymphnodes are doing better.

Today my doc said he was going to do a TB test, an EBV viral load test and a HIV test. I insisted to go to our local clinic for the HIV test because I can do the rapid test there. I am at 2 months and seven days with the oraquick and it was negative (surprise, surprise) anyway, that really didn't set my mind at ease because she said that I still needed to come back at the three month mark... (this is the the lab tech)

Andy, do I really need to go back? I know my risk was slim, but the symptoms and timing and the results of all my other tests and the duration of this hell are killing me.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2007, 07:05:25 PM »
Naero,

Your risk wasn't slim, it was non existent. Any HIV test you have will be negative.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2007, 07:45:17 PM »
I never thought you needed testing to begin with. The ONLY reason I suggest re-testing at 13 weeks is IF you are still going to worry and fret about this. Given how you've reacted thus far...

So you have to decide. If you can just let go of it and get on with your life then fine. If you're going to worry and wonder (needlessly from my point of view) then re-test at 13 weeks and collect another negative result.

Your choice... 
Andy Velez

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2007, 05:26:08 PM »
I'm getting through this, mostly because you amazingly knowledgeable people, despite the fact that I seem like a worried obsessive person (ok, you got me,  I am!)

Anyway went to doc yesterday because everything is still going on and he still insisted on HIV test saying the rapid ones weren';t very reliable. SO I have three basic questions and then I'll spend the weekend completely away from my computer.

1. The guy I had the encounter with used the rapid test from the same place I went and it was negative... his last encounter was supossedly 5 months earlier. Even if the tests weren't extrememly reliable, it would have shown up by five months, right? I know now that he was an active man, I know also that he was active with people who were ex-drug users... any of this matter?

2. We used Clearview Orasure with BLOOD - I've read somewhere that blood is less sensitive in this test? However I had the test done at 47 days and 68 days (or 6 weeks and 10 weeks) and they were negative, I really need to suck it up right?  Is the test my doctor is running that comes back in a week more sensitive or more likely to pick something up?

3. Yes, Im apparently negative, but just because, would ARS symptoms come on 2 weeks after exposure and last for 2-3 months? Ever?

I'll cringe when I open the post to read your response because I know you'll want to bash me over the head for being so worried over what is said to be low risk but since the doctor didn't think that the rapid tests ruled it out, it's provoked a ton of anxiety on top of what I already had... but hey! Xanax prescription too!

Thanks, really. REALLY!

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2007, 05:37:37 PM »
naero,

1. The rapid tests ARE reliable. If they weren't, they would not be approved for use. Your friend is negative.

2. Your result is not going to change.

3. NO.

It's time you moved on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2007, 11:29:16 AM »
Remember when I said I wouldn't log on all weekend?  ::)

But listen, I'm here because my mom asked a very good question last night...
she said
"aren't the rapid tests based on the ELISA TEST?"

blink... blink.... I don't freaking know.

But maybe you guys do?

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2007, 12:33:49 PM »
naero,

If you'd read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you could click on the link to the Testing Lesson, where all will be revealed.

The short answer is - a rapid test IS an ELISA. Go read the Lesson before asking more questions of this nature, please.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2007, 10:48:51 PM »
Back for another round... I had put it out of my mind -- COMPLETELY. Husband and I are doing wonderful, really just getting on with life... and then for the past three nights I have had horrible drenching night sweats and pain in my glands again, even one so swollen that you can see the outline of it (inner thigh) -- These symptoms had gone away for several weeks to a month or more...this freaks me out because my husband and I have been having unprotected sex since my 10 week negative test. I'm now at 18 weeks... so for 8 weeks I've rarely if ever even thought of this! Why did it creep back up?

Should I go in and test on Monday? I don't want to keep coming back to this - I thought it was over!
« Last Edit: November 03, 2007, 11:19:19 PM by naero »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #13 on: November 04, 2007, 02:09:08 AM »
Back for another round... I had put it out of my mind -- COMPLETELY.

I doubt that.

We've been through this with you before. You didn't have a risk, you don't have HIV. If you're feeling ill see your doctor.

MtD

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2007, 03:35:47 PM »
MtD,
I'm really sorry you don't believe me. It has only been this week that I've been logged back in here, with the exception of a few times here and there - I've certainly tried, as my husband can be testiment to - we decided to be at peace with the 10 week result, that was the ONLY way our marriage was going to survive.

My night sweats used to be jsut between my boobs and on the back of my neck, but this week I wake up completely soaked, from head to toe... and have pain in my glands that wasn't there before.

The answers were that I was OK, and I acceptedthat, I just want to know if anything is different now that it went away and then came back with a vengence... if I had HIV, would it go away for a month and a half and then appear again stronger -- like maybe my cell counts were low or something?

The doc says there is no cancer, they've tested that out as far as they can, there is no lupus, thyroid is in good working order, no TB, etc.... the fact that all of these symptoms started 13 days post sex with a friend is just too coincidental? I have been dealing with all of this since July 11th... I'm just ready for answers. I'm just beside myself with anxiety and fear now that it has returned so forcefully - when I was least expecting it, and enjoying life with my daughters competitions, etc.... I seriously hadn't been thinking or worrying about this at all... this is not anxiety produced. I'm so sorry to bother you guys. I can't talk to my husband about it, because he's furious again that it has come back, so I'm alone.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #15 on: November 04, 2007, 03:41:24 PM »
Naero,

Here's the deal. HIV is transmitted in very particular ways. You've not done anything which would see you infected with HIV.

You had protected sex. You don't have HIV.

I'm sorry that you're feeling guilty/anxious/distressed but we are not a counseling outfit. We're an HIV/AIDS website and we're not able to provide you with the support that you need.

If you need someone to talk to, why don't you ask your doctor for a referral to an appropriately qualified mental health worker?

MtD

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2007, 11:40:52 AM »
Argh. I had two oral tests done yesterday(the guy running the tests said he'd never heard of someone having all these symptoms so he ran two just for peace) - Orasure rapid yatta yatta NEGATIVE at 4 months and a week (or 131 days) - I did the happy dance all the way out of the clinic.
Went to the doc today - to find out what the symptoms are since it's not HIV... and he freaking ran an HIV blood test again. I have to wait until Monday for the results. WHY IS HE STILL TESTING ME FOR THIS? I told him that I had negative orasure tests and he said that was meaningless since they weren't done with blood.

I wanted to put this behind me and move on to what was causing the awful symptoms and all this PAIN in my neck and chin and groin and instead I'm back to square one, does my doc just know nothing about HIV?

Are the blood tests the doc runs more sensitive than the orasure tests that the clinic uses?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2007, 12:45:00 PM »
I can't see why further testing is necessary. Maybe your expressed anxiety level caused your doctor to doubt the result. Whatever the reasoning or lack of, I expect you to continue to test negative.

As far as we are concerned, you were never at risk to begin with.

Your doctor is going to have to look further for the real explanation for your symptoms because it's not HIV.

Andy Velez

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #18 on: November 12, 2007, 04:36:33 PM »
My 132 day/ (19 week)/ 4 month and 10 day doctor requested blood test was

non reactive.
I know, you're all shocked.

You're all in my prayers. The work you do here is amazing.
When he told me, and I began questioning if he was reading my current test, or an earlier test, I realized just how paranoid I had become. You guys know your stuff...

Live happily,

Naero

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #19 on: November 12, 2007, 09:48:24 PM »
Congrats on that happy if totally expected result.

Take a breath, let go of your fears and get on with your  life.

If you have any further physical symptoms discuss them with your doctor.
Andy Velez

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #20 on: February 01, 2008, 08:17:36 PM »
Can I have unprotected sex with my husband?
I still have low grade fevers, nightly night sweats, pain in lymphnodes in my chest, shoulders, underarms, thighs, tops of legs, groin, - CT scan showed multiple lymph nodes but none that suggested biopsy for cancer, a red pimply rash on my back......
tested negative by PCR at 4 months 4 weeks and negative via blood rapid at 7 months.
Husband says it's time to shuck the condom (we'd been going unprotected but when symptoms persisted, I insisted).

Can I really have sex with him without hurting him? If you were married to me, would you want to go unprotected seeing me with all my symptoms? I don't want him to be sick, too.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #21 on: February 01, 2008, 08:26:48 PM »
Can you have unprotected sex with your husband? With whom did you ask permission from, before you came to this forum? Of course you have have unprotected sex with your husband.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #22 on: February 01, 2008, 09:53:30 PM »
Whatever is causing your physical problems has nothing to do with HIV. So as far as that is concerned yes, you can have unprotected intercourse with your husband.

If your physical problems continue that's something to sort out with your doctor. And if your emotional upset about it all continues, then see a therapist or other like professional.

We can't do anything more for you here.
Andy Velez

Offline naero

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2008, 09:19:16 PM »
Just a follow up - I'm still in horrible amounts of pain in all my lymphnodes, one in my neck and one in my groin so big it hurts to move, still have night sweats and rash on my legs. This is now eight months and two weeks later. Rheumatology appointment on Monday but the nurse said since I'm negative for Lupus, and not having bone and joint pain that she's not sure what if anything the rheumatologist can do. I know you guys think that my issue is a non issue, and I respect that, I'm just curious (from all your expertise) if you've ever seen something like this happen where someone gets horribly (and confirmed) illness following sexual contact and stays sick, tests negative out to this far and turns out it's HIV afterall? I tested negative at 7 months with labcorps ICMA. And a DNA PCR at 5 months, but there is no hiding the 11 swollen nodes in my collarbone, 4 in my groin and 2 under one of my arms. Nor the rash all over my legs. I cant make this stuff up. I guess the main answer would be what is the longest seroconversion time, and could I be breaking records here?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2008, 09:46:14 PM »

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Putting My mind at ease
« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2008, 10:41:08 PM »
The answer is no. In more than 20 years of working in the epidemic I have never known of a single instance to occur such as you are suggesting. Nor to the best of my knowledge have any of the others on staff here. It would be such a beyond rare occurence that I know we would be aware and have discussed it if there was such a thing.

What I have known of more times than I would wish are cases where it takes a long time for the cause of symptoms to be identified for non-HIV situations and as far as I am concerned that is what you are dealing with. We can't help you with that. You have to keep going until you one of your doctors can make the right diagnosis and treatment for you.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

 


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