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Author Topic: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!  (Read 3605 times)

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Offline Sandra2908

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The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« on: August 13, 2007, 05:19:48 PM »
Please please please help me. I'm not even sure if it's only a medical problem. Probably also a mental one..

My risk exposure: Sexual intercourse (vaginal, i'm a woman), protected, but the condom came off and at some point I realized it wasn't on anymore. I think I might have had unprotected intercourse for 2-3 minutes. Then, I asked the guy to use a new one and we had protected sex untill the end.

Then we also had oral sex (I was both active and passive), but without ejaculation.
I should have never slept with him and the fact that I did makes me crazy. I don't know his HIV status, but what I know for sure is that he sleeps with randomly met girls all the time. He also travels to Brazil a lot. He told me he's clean but I really do not believe him at all and I have good reasons not to. So I would assume he is positive in the worst case.

I had an ELISA test after 8 weeks (antibody test) and then an antibody and ag test after 14.5 weeks.
Can you tell me when exactly there is a need to retest after 6 months??? Could i be one of those cases, or does it only apply for drug users and people after chemiotherapy?
I do not know at all what to do. Is it just my head and my bed conscience, or is there still a chance I could have got infected?
Please reply, you can't imagine how thankful i would be. It have already been 4 months and I can't stop thinking about it, even though I relaxed a lot after the tests.
And, I do not want you to cheer me up, just tell me the truth PLEASE

Also, how would you guys assess the risk? omg i hate myself for what i did..

« Last Edit: August 13, 2007, 05:47:04 PM by Sandra2908 »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2007, 05:21:40 PM »
No. There is no need to test at 6 months. The window period is 13 weeks and thus your 14.5 week test is more than sufficient.


Offline Sandra2908

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2007, 05:35:14 PM »
but WHY do those 6 months come up at all in many sources??? if everyone here seems to be so sure it is only 3? Are you sure? I just... don't understand this. Can you explain why so many doctors say it is 6?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2007, 05:38:05 PM »
I can't say for sure why some people, including some doctors, continue referring to a 6 month window period, Sandra. The reality is that the official window period in the US is 13 weeks according to the CDC. In other developed nations (the UK, Australia and the EU for example) the window period is 12 weeks.

And it's been so for many years.

A lot of doctors are not as informed about HIV as they should be and so they may well be hedging their bets. Or they may just be working from long outdated guidelines.

Whatever the case, I can assure you that the official window period is no more than 13 weeks. And that's the truth.


Offline Ann

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2007, 05:46:34 PM »

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six WEEKS and I fully expect the window period to come down to six weeks sometime in the next few years.

The official window period currently remains at three months. You are conclusively hiv negative.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sandra2908

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2007, 05:53:36 PM »
ok thanks.
i live in germany and my doctor gave me a note with HIV info.
it says: under some circumstances, retesting after 6 months is advisable. I dont know WHAT circumstances.

Also, would you agree that my risk was not high? have you heard about women getting infected only through contact with the pre-ejaculation stuff?

this is my last question, I am really sorry to bother you because I know many people are in a worse situation than I am. But please understand me.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2007, 05:57:42 PM »
Well Sandra,

Once again it wasn't a low risk situation it was a no risk situation since you tested negative at 14.5 weeks. There is a tiny proportion of people, eg those who are taking certain kinds of chemotherapy for cancer, transplant recipients who are taking immunosuppressive therapy and some long term injecting drug users.

If you fell into one of those categories, you would know about it.

You are conclusively HIV negative.


Offline Sandra2908

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2007, 12:31:29 PM »
ok thanks very very much. I appreciate your help.

to the experts: have you ever actually SEEN people who got infected by a brief exposure like mine?
That is, women who only had contact with pre-cum and this was enough?

I know this is a risk, but how do you see it as people who know the reality?

Offline Sandra2908

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2007, 03:21:21 PM »
a bit confused cause no one would reply :(

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2007, 04:18:43 PM »
Your second guessing your test results has no sound basis in HIV science. People hear all the time about so-called exceptions and the kind of thing you're now questioning further about. All to no good purpose. Because the ONLY way to know your HIV status reliably is by getting tested at the appropriate time.

You've done exactly that and you've tested negative. So you ARE HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Perhaps your regrets about having become intimate with that guy are fueling your unfounded fears. This is NOT an HIV situation. It's time to let go of your concern and move on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Sandra2908

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Re: The fear and uncertainty is ruining my life!
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2007, 04:39:49 PM »
 :) alright, many thanks, im not going to steal any more of your time
i wish you guys the best for your future, both advisors and users
x Sandra


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