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Author Topic: How worried should I be?  (Read 3953 times)

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Offline stupidman

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How worried should I be?
« on: August 08, 2007, 12:18:49 PM »
Question regarding a risk I had this past Monday night 8/6/07.
I am a gay male, 30 y/o.  I met a man @ a massage parlor who performed oral sex on me, then fingered my anus. He was masturbating himself first with the hand that he penetrated me with.  Later, he briefly (15-20 seconds) penetrated me without the use of a condom…..then the thought of HIV/AIDS entered into my mind.  After the 15-30 seconds of penetration, he pulled out and put on a condom. He re-entered for about 5 min….pulled out and put on a new condom. At the end, he did  not ejaculate.

What are your thoughts on pre-seminal fluids being a possible infection for HIV based on the first scenario?    I asked him if he was tested and negative for HIV….and he responded that he was tested and negative. He also stated that he does not do much “anal sex” if that means anything at all.

Does this situation merit PEP? Any hope for me? There have been no multiple partners and I had been tested in the past...most recently in July...and it was neg.  Prior to that...I have always been safe.

Thank You.
Foolish in NY

Offline B2

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2007, 02:16:18 PM »
Your PEP window is about to run out so if you want it, get off the computer and seek a Doctor immediately...

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2007, 02:22:23 PM »
Where would I go?  ER?

that makes me nervous.

Offline Ann

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2007, 02:54:21 PM »
Stupid,

This situation certainly does not warrent PEP.

If you had full intercourse, maybe. A quick fifteen second dip - no. PEP involves taking toxic drugs for 28 days and isn't to be used lightly. Many people cannot go the full 28 days because of the side-effects.

While you have had a risk, it is very unlikely that you would become infected in this situation as Hiv is a fragile, difficult virus to transmit. The ONLY thing you report that could be a risk is the dipping.

While this is not a case for PEP, you would be wise to test. Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

A test three months after your last incident of unprotected intercourse will be conclusive.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

I do fully expect you to come out of this ok.

Ann

PS - please ignore B2 - see below
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2007, 02:57:16 PM »
B2,

You are in no position to give advice here and the advice you gave stupid is wrong as you do not need PEP.

I need you to read our Welcome Thread and abide by our forum posting guidelines including the one that says:

Quote
Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

Don't let me catch you posting in any thread other than your own again.

Ann
 
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2007, 04:27:58 PM »
Thank you Ann for those encouraging words,....I hope I come out of this okay.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2007, 05:34:51 PM »
I agree with Ann. PEP is absolutely not warranted in this situation. Just as a precaution I also agree that you ought to get tested at 13 weeks. My expectation is that you will test negative.

You do need to learn from this experience. You can have as much intercourse as you like with as many partners regardless of their HIV status. BUT, and it's a BIG but, whoever is the insertive partner must be wearing a latex condom everytime. No exceptions, no matter what you think you know about your partner(s) or how great he/they look. Condoms provide very effective protection so make sure they're used everytime.

As I said, I expect you'll come out of this one ok.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2007, 11:19:33 AM »
First, I want to thank you both (Ann and Andy) for calming my fear/anxiety on this circumstance.

May I ask one more question..if you would not mind responding?

What conditions must exist for me to have had contracted the virus through this means?
I just tend to be a linear thinker, so listing in order,...this is what I had "thought"..so please correct me if I am wrong:

(1) the opposing person would have to have HIV
(2) pre-seminal fluid contains HIV, but I have not heard/read anywhere online how effective it is transmitting HIV.  Some sites say "theoretical"....but their data is like 2-3 years old.
(3) the person would not only have to have HIV, but have sufficient virus for transmission. (I believe they call this "viral load?")
(4) The virus would then have to find a way through the mucous membrane of the rectum, and penetrate the bloodstream.
(5) As Ann stated earlier, HIV is a fragile virus,...whereby certain environmental conditions must exist for it to transmit.
(6) Being a one-time incident,...and the likelihood of contracting HIV through receptive anal sex is 1/200 (form what I have read on previous sites).

Taking into consideration these circumstances....would I be right in stating these 6 possibilities as means of not just calming my fears, but anyone that would ask me personally later on....in case they had the same situation?

Where can one donate on here for HIV activism/support?


Again, a valuable lesson that has been learned through all this....and how 20-30 seconds of unprotected sex can affect not only the possibility of one's own health, but their state of mind.

Thanks again Ann and Andy.

Foolish in NY

Offline Ann

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2007, 11:32:28 AM »
stu,

It all looks fine except for #6. Those one-in-whatever-number figures you see quoted in some places are pretty much arbitrary figures. (Think about it - how could they design an ethical study to get the numbers? The numbers are guesswork and we don't bother with them here.)

If you had come to us reporting full anal intercourse with ejaculation with a known positive man, we'd have urged you to get to a doctor for PEP right away.

You report a very brief penetration - "dipping" without ejaculation - and even if your partner were positive, the chance of transmission is slim. We're not saying it's without risk, but the risk is small.

HOWEVER - do not think this gives you license to practice unprotected "dipping". If nothing else, it's too easy to allow a dip to turn into full intercourse - and possibly ejaculation. You know what it's like in the heat of the moment.

As we've said, you'd be wise to test at the three month mark (and let that be the beginning of routine tests once or twice a year) but I don't expect you to get a positive result.

Keep using condoms and you'll be ok.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidman

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  • Posts: 11
Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2007, 09:57:50 AM »
Just a follow up question....

would it be ok to test with one of those Home Access kits @ 6 weeks for an idea of my status?

I would like to test with the privacy of my own home, and tweak out at the thought of sitting down with someone again to wait 20 minutes while he/she drills me with questions.

Thanks A.V. :)

Foolish in NY

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2007, 09:49:52 AM »
response.....anyone?

Thanks.

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2007, 11:24:45 AM »
disregard the last statement....I just came to the realization I do not care anymore about knowing if I have HIV. If I get it, I get it.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2007, 11:45:16 AM »
stupidman, with that kind of attitude we'll see you again and it won't be in the "Am I Infected" forum. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2007, 12:18:03 PM »
How about just consistently following a very simple rule and that is that intercourse always means the insertive partner wearing a condom.

It's rather cavalier of you to say "if I get it, I get it," when it's very simple to avoid getting it. Maybe it's just bravado of the moment. I hope so.

I can't tell you how many have heartbreakingly said to me with the wisdom of hindsight how much they wish they had been careful.

Andy Velez

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2007, 08:25:15 PM »
You know….part of me was wrong, and part of you who had written back were right.

I was depressed earlier, so I had went to the Blessed Sacrament, in all hopes of letting Christ himself know what a foolish thing I had done. Nonetheless, being Catholic, I am sure there was the whole guilt factor there as well.  While I was there, I was sitting quietly with about 4 other people.  Nothing was said,…..just silence. Inside I was fuming at myself, at God, and the fact that not only did I put myself into this situation, but the mere fact that had he answered my prayers years ago about wanting to be heterosexual, I would most likely not be in this situation. I would have had kids, and a family by now.


I was there only 10 minutes, …mostly because I was angry. So I left.
I got into my truck, ….and while I was reaching the first traffic light, I saw this young kid, maybe 13 or 14 y/o.  He was attempting to cross this 5-laned road, a very busy intersection.  But there was one thing, …..he was not able to walk like most of us.  He was using leg braces and crutches.  He was struggling to cross the street before the light turned.

It was then that I had learned a valuable lesson.  Myself, not one for crying, brought some major tears to my eyes.  It was then that I learned …..I do not have it so bad.


Thanks Andy, Rodney.

Foolish in NY

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #15 on: August 24, 2007, 09:48:01 PM »
Can I just give blood to find out if I am HIV+?

The nurse at my MD's office told me that before the Dr. gave me a physical this past week.
I did not want to be tested through the MD's office for record info.

I understand that the American Red Cross does something called NAT testing when they screen blood.
So she told me.


Is this not a viable and cheaper method...that is what she advised.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2007, 05:00:38 AM »
No, you do not test via the blood bank. NAT is a screening test, not a diagnostic test.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2007, 05:09:44 AM »
Matty the Damned cannot let this pass uncommented on.

Stupid, using the Red Cross or any other blood collection service as a means of HIV testing is a supremely selfish and idiotic thing to do. NAT testing is not, as Roddles notes, a diagnostic test. It is expensive and used to test pooled samples.

As somebody who supposedly "saw the light" after watching a cripple cross the road but who now wishes to abuse a public blood collection service for such a venal reason, you've certainly chosen your login name well.

We've told you what you need to do, now go and do it. >:(

MtD
(Who will now return to the infirmary)

Offline Ann

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2007, 07:28:55 AM »
Stu,

To add on to Matty's comments, I would also suggest that you report that nurse - perhaps to the Red Cross themselves. What she is recommending you do is highly unethical - if not downright dangerous - and she seriously needs to be informed of this and possibly even disciplined over it.

You can find out where you can be tested anonymously/confidentially by going to the HIV testing center database and entering your zip code into their search engine at the top of the page.

Do NOT give blood to determine your hiv status!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidman

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #19 on: August 25, 2007, 09:43:34 AM »
Thanks Ann for a KIND response.


Matty,
You make me ANGRY.  You should not be posting in other's posts. .....you just fuel MORE anger.
And YOU should NOT Judge OTHERS!!!!!!!  >:(


Offline Ann

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Re: How worried should I be?
« Reply #20 on: August 25, 2007, 09:52:29 AM »
Thanks Ann for a KIND response.


Matty,
You make me ANGRY.  You should not be posting in other's posts. .....you just fuel MORE anger.
And YOU should NOT Judge OTHERS!!!!!!!  >:(



Stu,

Matty is a member of long-standing in these forums and is authorised to answer questions in this forum. I don't want to ever again see you speak to another person on this site like you did to him and you owe him an apology.

He wasn't judging you, he was giving you the facts. We take a very dim view of using blood donation as a means to test for hiv. It's highly unethical and potentially dangerous - and should be illegal. How would you like to receive an hiv positive blood transfusion that slipped through the NAT testing?

You are so close to a time out. Watch your step.

Consider yourself very sternly warned.

Ann


edited to add Stu's quote - just in case he decides to edit his own post when he comes back and reads my warning
« Last Edit: August 25, 2007, 09:58:54 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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