Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 14, 2014, 04:50:13 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 630193
  • Total Topics: 47696
  • Online Today: 303
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 3
Guests: 140
Total: 143

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" AIDSmeds forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future AIDSmeds Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Oral Risk real scared  (Read 6051 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Oral Risk real scared
« on: April 08, 2009, 03:56:16 PM »
I am a Bi male mid 40s and have just recently (about a year) began having oral sex with men. I am very new to this lifestyle. before this I was married for 10 years and have been divorced for 7 years with a steady G/F, neithier of which are HIV+. I have never had anal sex, only rimming and Blow jobs with me being the recipient. But just recently I began to experiment with giving BJs and have done so on 3 occasions out of the 12 sessions I have had. On one occasion, I had brushed my teeth about an hour before and my gums bled a little, plus I have 2 cavities in my mouth. I am extremely worried that I may have contracted HIV. Is it possible and do you have any mind assuring words?.

Online RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,258
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2009, 06:10:50 PM »
You were never at risk of contracting HIV, brushing or not.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2009, 06:19:17 PM »
Your saliva contains over a dozen elements which are very, very effective at inhibiting the transmission of viable HIV.

Although we do from time to time hear of cases of transmission via giving oral (never of receiving), the results of longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, (both gay and straight), who have lots of mutual unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse have been that not a single HIV negative partner has become infected.

Good sense does dictate if you have a big, fresh wound in your mouth or very poor oral care not to give head. But otherwise we don't consider it to be other than a theoretical risk. HIV transmission sexually is about unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms for those and you'll be well protected.

Cheers. 
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2009, 10:18:44 AM »
Thanks Rod and Andy, you guys do an awesome service for us all. I was just a little worried as you have heard before other sites say a little different, but I can tell ya"ll stay very informative and to the point. Was just worried about the cavities mainly. Have never allowed a guy to ejaculate in my mouth or do anal on me or vice versa, although the last guy I was with rubbed his penis between my cheeks but no penetration and I deepthroated him .still no worries right? would hate to give my G/F something.

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2009, 10:44:01 AM »
Rapid Rod and Andy
                            I also forgot to mention that have herpes and have had most of my life with very few outbreaks. I have read that this puts me at a greater risk from HIV. With the same sessions I previously mentioned, does your risk assessment answers change? am I at a far greater risk now?

Online RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,258
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2009, 10:45:40 AM »
Herpies or not is still not a risk.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2009, 12:48:34 PM »
If you have unsafe sex during a herpes outbreak that might be a greater risk if you have unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. But simply having herpes itself doesn't increase your vulnerability to HIV.

And as long as you consistently use condoms for intercourse you will be very effectively protected against sexual transmission of HIV. It's as simple as that.
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2009, 06:44:23 PM »
Thanks guys, I was really worried that I may have contracted the HIV virus. So no need to get tested right?. I have never had anal sex,  only oral with the mentioned sessions, and I only have unprotected vaginal sex with my G/F of 7 years who is totally HIV-.  maybe my fear is telling me I should leave the expermenting with my BI side alone, but I really love the oral sessions.

Online RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,258
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2009, 06:50:25 PM »
No you don't need an HIV test over this.

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2009, 07:01:03 PM »
Thanks Rapid and Andy for helping to ease my mind.you guys are great.never heard from Ann would have like that. So is there any reason when I feel the urge to get or give oral sex that I should seek some sort of protection? or not be concerned, like I said in my last post.I enjoy it from time to time.. I will wait on your replys and then consider this uneasiness closed, once again Thank you for all you do.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2009, 08:47:28 PM »
Suck,

You didn't hear from me because there was nothing to add to what's already been said. You don't need to test over this incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2009, 10:58:01 AM »
Thank you to all of you.......you guys and Ann are great.I will get over this fear and move on with my life. I has truly been a uneasy few weeks. I kept looking for symptoms to show or something and apparantly for nothing.  I will not bother you again unless I need some advice from you.   Thanks again.

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2009, 12:43:10 PM »
Hey guys and Ann,
                          Just needed to talk to you guys again. I thought I had my BI side under control but I was wrong. I have had 3 more sessions since I last contacted you and on 2 occasions I did some sucking, seemed like the thing to do. On nethier occasions did they ejaculate in my mouth, and there has never been any anal sex period. I have been freaking out trying to come to terms with this and to put it behind me, but I havent been feeling well lately, headaches sorethroat, lethargic, etc. I have not had the money to get the cavaties fixed yet and have made a promise to myself that I am done with this lifestyle even though I enjoy it, I am too scared to continue. I just need you guys to help me one more time. SHOULD I TEST OVER THESE 15 SESSIONS? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2009, 12:47:25 PM »
If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. Based on what you have reported they have nothing to do with HIV.

No, there's no need for testing in relation to these incidents. However, we do suggest that anyone who is sexually active ought to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least once a year as other STDs are easier to acquire than HIV.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2009, 01:42:55 PM »
Andy,
        Thank you man for the quick reply...The cavity and slight bleeding gums when brushing thing is whats got me worried I know that you should not give oral with bad dental care and mine isnt really that bad just 2 cavities. So I guess my real question is are cavities good and viable source of entry in to you blood for HIV? and is it possible that i could have contracted it that way?. I know nothing about testing so please help me out and I promise not to be one of those who keeps asking the same questions........I think you guys are great and really help a lot of people

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2009, 02:12:08 PM »
No, a dental cavity would not be the means of transmitting HIV.

If you had a fresh, gaping and bleeding wound in your mouth and then gave oral I would say MAYBE there would be risk. But that's a very unlikely scenario. So again, I say you are worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2009, 02:27:07 PM »
Thanks again Andy,
                            Just one last thing is it possible to get it with a canker sore or ulcer as some call them? I have had a couple of them recently and was worried that might be a way for the virus to enter.
                            I have been real upset for weeks and cannot get passed the possibility that I may have infected my G/F with HIV. I could never tell her about this secret life I indulged in or that would be the end for us.... and you know how love is.  So for the last time (unless I need you guys again) no risk factor for all of my indulgences and no need to test.right???

Thank you for your help and for all you do

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2009, 03:37:50 PM »
Nope. No risk factor via canker sores and whatever else you throw into the mix.

"...and you know how love is." Well, I do know how GUILT is and as far as I am concerned that is what this about. You are dog like a lot of us and you went straying to explore your taste for something new. You can't undo that. See it, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. And if you can't, then see a therapist or other professional to get some support and talk things out.

This is not an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2009, 03:11:59 PM »
hey guys I just had a question. My G/F of over 7 years has been developing some problems that seem to coincide with my extra cirricular activities It maybe just menopausal symptoms but it has me extremley worried. as you know she doesnt know about my activities, but she has late developed late ( after 28 days) spotty periods and low pelvic cramps, almost like "charlie horses" she says just above her hairline. Given the previous sessions we talked about, could this be a mere coincedence or is it possible I gave her something. I have noticed every once in a great while I will get a light sting in the penis head that quickly goes away and does not come when urinating. Is it time I got tested for all stds.including hiv? This may def be one for Ann.

Online RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,258
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2009, 04:43:09 PM »
Move on.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #20 on: May 18, 2009, 05:00:50 PM »
Whatever is going on has nothing to do with HIV and HIV is exclusively what we deal with here.
You can't give your gf HIV because you don't have it. Period.

If you think you have something else then discuss it with your doctor. 

You're moving in the direction of getting a time out here because you can't keep coming back with the same problem wrapped up in some new fear.
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #21 on: July 20, 2009, 09:11:13 PM »
Andy,
          I know Im close to getting time out although I have not been on here for a while...But I am still scared to death...recently I developed 3-4 canker sores under the front of my tounge..I read on webMD that this can be attrbuted to a weak immune system or HIV.   My G/F has had the flu symtoms now for at least 4 days and I had a couple of more sessions since I talked to you last...could this possibly be hiv?...man I just need to put this to rest...again no anal just oral.......is it at all possible.if you say NO I will let it go.please help

Online RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,258
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #22 on: July 20, 2009, 09:38:52 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #23 on: July 21, 2009, 08:02:03 AM »
Neither your canker sores nor what your gf is experiencing are in anyway HIV-specific problems. They occur for all sorts of reasons. I answered your concern about previously in May about canker sores.

You've already been told what our  thoughts are about your non-risk situation.

If you come back again about this same incident you are going to get a 28 day time out. Consider yourself warned. This is not an HIV situation. You're a guy who strayed and is now struggling with the after-effects emotionally. Get some professional help if you can't get over this. We can't resolve that for you in this setting.
Andy Velez

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #24 on: August 21, 2009, 05:03:10 PM »
Hey ANN and the guys,
               I know I am going to get a time out for this.....but before you do.... can you please just answer one question?.  I am going to leave you alone after this and I see a lot more posts than mine getting answered........so PLEASE do this for me. My G/F struggles with a recurring horrible vaginal itch and I had an anal itch that was bothersome for about a week and seems to have gone away..I hate to be so descriptive but I dont know another way to put it. She also keeps getting sinus problems matted eyes, sore throat etc.  I am not sure what to do or what direction to go in...I have had maybe two sessions where I did some sucking since I last contacted you but thats all. Maybe if ANN could answer this from a female perspective I would feel better.... My only hope and prayer is that I nor my G/F have been infected..she has just been given two beautiful grandkids and I would die if I have given her HIV... SO PLEASE just answer me and I promise this will be the last time.   Thank you.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #25 on: August 21, 2009, 10:21:18 PM »

My G/F struggles with a recurring horrible vaginal itch and I had an anal itch that was bothersome for about a week and seems to have gone away..I hate to be so descriptive but I dont know another way to put it.


Suck,

Go see your doctor about your itch. What ever is going on has nothing to do with hiv. You never had a risk.

And yes, keep posting about your NO RISK incident and you WILL be given a time out. This is your last warning.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sucklover

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
still scared
« Reply #26 on: November 12, 2009, 11:17:56 AM »
Hey guys
             I have not been on here for a long time because I did not want a time out but.. I have to talk to somebody. I have ceased all of my Bi sessions after the last one ( where I was the receptive one) about 2 months ago. about a day or two after that session I noticed 2 blister like sores on my penis head. that wont go away and now my G/F has developed a rash on her stomache with extremely tender and sore skin all over.... I am scared to death that I have given her hiv because I know that one of the symptoms is unexplained rashes due to weak immune system. Just please tell me that I havent given us both the virus. I know that you guys are getting tired of these posts.but I just needed to talk to you. She is in extreme pain all over her skin with a rash on just the left side of her stomache and me with these blister like lesions is freaking me out..please help me

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,349
Re: Oral Risk real scared
« Reply #27 on: November 12, 2009, 12:33:48 PM »
I've merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

As long as you have not had unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse outside of your relationship then there is no reason to think HIV is an issue for you. Your girlfriend's rash may or may not be related to something you've passed on to her. You both need to see your doctors to find out what's up. We can't diagnose anything here. All we can do is tell you that based on your reports there is no basis on which to think HIV is your issue.

Go see your doctor and get a proper diagnosis.
Andy Velez

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.