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Author Topic: Hi. New kid in the family...  (Read 2918 times)

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Offline unseenparagon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Hi. New kid in the family...
« on: August 04, 2007, 02:22:38 PM »
Hi.  I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.  I am 20 years old.  I tested positive two weeks ago.  I just got my confirmatory test and blood work back yesterday.  It's been quite a shock.  I feel sort of lost.  I feel like I am just going through the motions of life; existing.  Actually, I am not feeling much right now; my doctor put me on an antidepressant and I sort of feel like eyhor.  I am healthy and do not need medications, yet.  Which I was told, that is a good thing.  Well, hi.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2007, 03:23:43 PM »
Hello paragon, welcome to the forums. I'm glad you found us early in your diagnosis, as you may soon have hundreds of questions that members will be happy to answer for you. You're going to exist and go through the motions of life with hiv on your side now. It's an unwanted company, for sure, but you can make it so it won't control your life.

Again, welcome :)

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2007, 04:09:48 PM »
Hi Paragon,

Well, it sucks that you tested positive but I'm glad you found us. It sounds like you caught your infection early (hence the good numbers) and that's great. Finding out that you're hiv positive is a really crap thing and a good thing all rolled into one. I don't have to explain why it's crap, but it's good because now you are in the best position to take good care of yourself and lead a fulfilling life.

It won't always be easy, no, but you'll find friends here to help you through and you will in turn help others out someday. For right now though, concentrate on YOU.

If you haven't already, have a read through both the Just Tested Poz Welcome Thread and the Living forum Welcome Thread You'll find links in the second one that will take you to other parts of this website, such as the Lessons.

Do have a read, but don't feel as though you need to learn everything right away - you've got plenty of time ahead of you for that. If you have any questions about what you read, feel free to come back to the forum and ask away.

The first few months are a rollercoaster of emotions, but the ride does slow down in time. We've all been through it, so if you want to talk about the emotional aspects, we'll "get it".

Hang in there!

Motherly Hugs,
Ann
xxx

(who has a twenty-year-old herself!)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline frenchpat

  • Member
  • Posts: 516
  • Love your friends, don't eat them.
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2007, 04:13:14 PM »
Hello and welcome here. I am sorry you had to join and so early in your life. I am also happy for you that you found us.

Whatever other means of support and information you have, this site is a goldmine of knowledge and a great place to come to. It is also a pretty disfunctional family that occasionally thrives on chaos. Expect lots of support, great hands-on information and a sprinkling of drama here and there. This place is almost never boring. ;D

be most welcome

Pat
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline unseenparagon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2007, 04:26:32 PM »
Thank you for the support.  Yes, I did found out early.  I was infected about 5 months ago.  I am handling it better than I ever thought possible; the things that shake me up are the fact that I may not make it to 30, the stereotypes put on me, and the possibility of never finding someone.  It's interesting how one little thing changes the way you think completely.  I had a few drinks late night and called my mom.  I don't know how she took it after I got off the phone, but she was so loving and supportive.  She told me that I was LUCKY because I now realized how special life is and I could make the most of mine; something most people never know or do.  Well, once again thank you for the support and I am sure we will be talking soon.  :) 

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2007, 04:38:23 PM »
Paragon,

As long as you look both ways before you cross the street, you have as much chance of reaching thirty - and beyond - as an hiv negative person. Really. It's true.

As for the stereotyping and stigma, yes, that is an issue, but not an insurmountable one. Keep in mind that you have a virus, an illness like any other, and nothing to be ashamed of. You'll find that people often take their cues from you on how to react. If you're unashamed and confident, chances are usually good they will react in a positive (forgive the pun) way.

I'm glad your mom was understanding - that's really good to hear.

More hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lostinspace

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2007, 07:07:42 PM »
hi, i know how you feel about feeling depressed...i am going through so many mixed emotions right now...i found out 3 months ago (may 07)...my first lab results really scared me because my viral load was 191,000 and cd4 count was 98!!! i was like, how could that be? i thought cd4 count was suppose to decrease gradually...my nurse said that apparently i contracted a really strong bug (as she referred to it)..needless to say i had to start on meds right away...then to top it all off one of the side effects of my meds was jaundice!!! i'm still learning how to deal with being positive and now (well it seemed to me anyway) the whole world will be able to tell...a couple of my friends had asked me what was wrong with my eyes (fortunately it's not that bad now)...the weirdest thing about this whole thiing is i just tested negative about a year ago...since that last test i could count in one hand how many men i've slept with...i guess it's true it only takes one time...at first i racked my brains out trying to figure out which one i contracted the virus from...then i realized it's pointless...now sometimes i think life in general is pointless...good luck to you kid...
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine - Indigo girls

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2007, 02:52:48 PM »
Hey Paragon,

Will you see 30?

I have already lived more than 20 years with the bug, so if nothing else, I am living proof it can be done.There are quite a number of us around here.

Hang in there.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline cruisin512

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2007, 05:46:00 PM »
You'll be fine.  You are in good company.

Be sure to check your viral load and CD4 (number and percentage) every few months.  There is no magic number for starting treatment, but you and your Doc will know when the time is right.

I've been poz for almost 2 1/2 years.  I started treatment 5 months ago.  Under treatment, my viral load went from 512,000 to 62 (almost undetectable) in that amount of time.  Also, my CD4s have doubled and my percentage has gone up substantially.

There are great meds out there and you will be fine as long as you stay on top of your numbers.

Best to you.

Offline gemini20

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2007, 06:48:31 PM »
Hi Paragon,

Sorry to have to welcome you here but what's done is done.

Anyway a bit of encouragement for you - I was infected when I was 21 back in 1991 - the doctors told me then I might live 8-10 years and so I never thought I would reach my 30s either.

Well here I am now aged 38 and even 40 looks a real possibility. If I can give you one piece of advice it would be to not let HIV stop you living the life you want to live, easier said than done, particularly in the early days of diagnosis I know, but its something I wish someone had told me (though I probably wouldn't have believed them back then even if they had said it).

I felt like I missed out on my 20s because I let HIV dictate so much of my life back then. It's an easy thing to let happen so it's good to try and find a balance.

I always said to myself if I reached the tenth anniversary then every day after that was a bonus. Well that was back in 2001 so I've had an awful lot of bonus time now and continue to expect more (and that's without meds!).

I hope you find all the support you need, both here in the forums and elsewhere.

Best wishes,

Emma




Diagnosed 11th September 1991
Current CD4 count 484 (26%); viral load undetectable (December 2011).
Restarting boosted Prezista 08/04/11

Offline NYCguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 180
Re: Hi. New kid in the family...
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2007, 07:28:08 PM »
Paragon,
I'm also relatively new having tested poz last Novemeber and sure I was infected end of August before that, so wow, it's been almost a year!  I went through a crazy insane time of anxiety and depression and also took anti-d's which had a negative impact on my sex life, unfortuantely, so I'm happy to say I'm totally off them now and doing fine.  Be thankful that your numbers are good, but even if they weren't (like mine - VL 250,000!) you'll be fine, since i went undetectable in 2 months time with essentially no side effects, pills only once a day, and that really IS the norm now.

I read a new statistic recently that newly infected people levels can expect to live 33 more years on average, based on currently available therapy.  Of course none of us are 'average' or 'statistics' but the point is that for you, reaching 30 is pretty much inevitable as long as you take care of yourself and reaching old age is even likely, considering the pace of research.  So definitely enjoy and use to the fullest your new perspective on appreciating every day (which your very perceptive mother proposed - wow, not sure I can ever tell my folks - you're very brave and lucky in that regard), but also realize you've got LOTS of life ahead of you so you really don't have to make any dramatic changes in your future plans.  Plan to study, work, pursue your goals and your love life.  Some newly poz friends of mine have actually found dating easier and fun because there's a whole pool of others out there, in forums, groups, etc., looking to date and meet.  You're still allowed to have sex!  ;D

Anyway, welcome here - I have found it to be a lifesaver and incredibly supportive, informative, entertaining and sometimes a bit insane.  It's a great place and you'll be fine!
11/9/06 = #$%^&!
sometime early Dec 2006:
CD4 530 20%/VL >250,000 (&*$$%!!)
started Reyataz300mg/Norvir/Truvada 12-27-06.
1/30/07 CD4 540 30%/VL <400
4/07 CD4 600+ 33%/VL <50
6/9/07 CD4 720 37%/VL <50
10/15/07 CD4 891 (!) %? VL <50
1/2010 CD4 599 (37%) VL<50 (drop due to acute HCV)
9/2010 - looks like HCV is gone for good! And I'm finally drinking again, thank GOD
2013 - considering a switch to Stribild. but I love my Kidneys (but I hate farting all the time!)...
June 2013 - switched to Stribild.  so far so good...

 


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