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Author Topic: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women  (Read 41505 times)

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Offline emeraldize

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HeHeHe, ole Moonlight said
You ought to start a Part III thread
Use that title you PM'd me
All the GFs will think it's funny

So, now Part III starts down its road
Faster for each of us to download
Offering clean slates for our tales
And, witticisms that result in gales

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2007, 10:59:16 PM »
~Rap for Em~

Hello, Sister Em, GF of mine
I think its really cool
How you write in rhyme
Told you in that other thread
"You go girl and show it"
Keep posting here
Cause you're a poet and didn't know it!

Hee hee, can you tell the full moon is gone and I don't have a date tonight?  LOL
Mr. Researcher is set for tomorrow, although I haven't heard from him since early yesterday.  I wish I wasn't so nervous, he's 51.  I just hope he looks good in person, lol!  Worst case, I am attracted to his mind!

Job interviews went well today.  The one this morning for an AP position went very very well, I was interviewed by three women at one time.  I decided to be my funny sarcastic self.  I think they were very impressed.  I did really well during a 45-minute phone interview last week with one of the girls.  So, wish me luck, I may have to leave my nocturnal life soon and go back to a day job!

Mr. Good Zip Code from last weekend just called.  He is doing well, thinks it was cool I bought him dinner last Sunday.  Least I could do after the expensive date at the "spook house" on Friday!"  Alas, unemployment and funds won't last forever......sigh.

*Edited to add....*  Received an email from Poz.  Seems our "rareguy" in CT has been deleted, lol.  The stupid dumb f***!  Girl power! 

~Cindy

« Last Edit: August 03, 2007, 11:12:43 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2007, 10:59:57 PM »
I can't wait to tune in... ;D :D ::)
Emer,
You do have a way with words.......

This is like the Harry Potter novel, the anticipation is killing me.....

Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2007, 11:09:04 PM »
I am going to read all of Parts I and II to celebrate!  I have come a long way in a few weeks with the support of all of you GFs. 

And to those of you who are "Guests," sign in and join us!  Unless you're a guy, of course.  This place is healthy and understanding.  Wow, sometimes I just feel GOOD!

Part I: "dating" ---- http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=12526.0

Part II:  --- http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=13850.100


Thank you GFs!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 03, 2007, 11:13:31 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2007, 02:31:54 AM »
Threads of Our Heads? I had to read that line over a few times. Thought I was seeing things. What is this thread to be about, Em? I need to know so I can stay on topic, you know I always got something to say... ;D Unless it is a continuation of part 2 and is a dating thread then I may just be watching from the bleachers. I have been getting freaking idiots. One had the nerve to ask me would I change? Change what, I say. Change your religion.. It was more like I almost lost my religion and was going to call him everything in the book but the child of God.. ;D

(who is dog sitting Boo instead of talking to her Boo)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline cjc

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  • Sweet Girl
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2007, 09:22:52 AM »
Hello Sisters .  Good idea to start a new one, the second one was getting too long again.  Not much new here.Still  talking to those 2 fellas,  but no dates so far. I start back to work next week and am so glad.       Antway, I'll check back in later.  Cristy

Offline cjc

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  • Sweet Girl
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2007, 03:07:11 PM »
*Edited to add....*  Received an email from Poz.  Seems our "rareguy" in CT has been deleted, lol.  The stupid dumb f***!  Girl power! 

~Cindy
Hello, looks like he reregistered immediatly cause I believe the same person sent me flirt at 2:33 today. Here's the thing:rareguy, 31
new haven, Connecticut

Last logged in: Aug 4, 2007 2:33 PM
.He must have reregistered.  ML, what do you think.
  :)    Cristy
« Last Edit: August 04, 2007, 03:09:44 PM by cjc »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2007, 03:59:26 PM »
Hi Cristy~

It sounds like it.  Do me a favor and email personals@poz.com with the info.  They can look at the link of the flirt to your screen name.  Wait until he sends you the baseketball link, lol!  Ask him if he was 22 when that was taken, lol!  Better yet, just block his ass!

GFs~  PLEASE post names of scammers here so we can all share notes and be in the loop!  Thanks!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Ann

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2007, 04:27:12 PM »
Hmm...

I suppose this is probably as good a place as any to post about this, because it's probably the closest I'll get to online dating. ;D

Last night I had to send an email (in my capacity as a forum moderator) to this guy from the Am I forum who tried to create a new account. (apparently thought he'd get different answers with a new name. ::) ) I was using Outlook and I forgot to use the drop-down list to change the sending email account to the forums account. The email got sent via my default, private Yahoo email account.

Yikes!

About twenty minutes after I'd sent the email, my partner and I were sitting   sprawled out on the couch watching telly. It was our eighth anniversary and we'd been out to dinner, so we were doing our couch-whales imitation. ;D

Anyway, the computer, which is behind the couch, was still on and I was logged into Yahoo, as per usual. Suddenly I got a YIM notification noise, followed by "hello sexy" come through the speakers. Other half was not amused and I was confused. I showed him that it was not from an approved contact and clicked on the reject button. Then I had to try to convince him that no, I never normally get unsolicited contacts because I always show as offline and because I don't give my addy out to ... ok, I'll be nice and say strangers.

It wasn't until later when I went to move the email I sent out of my sent folder to my admin folder that I realised my STOOOOOOPID mistake of using my personal email address.

~shudder~


I'm seriously considering getting a new private email account.

My hat's off to you ladies who brave the internet dating game. I think I'm a little too long in the tooth to dip my toes into that particular pool and those of you who do have my respect and admiration. I wish you all luck! Your stories have me glued to these threads.

Group hug!  :-*

Ann
xxx

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2007, 05:21:00 PM »
Hi Ann~ 

Nice to see you here!  Sounds like you got a "leg humper," what with the immediate "Hi Sexy" on YIM!  I am dealing with a pos one right now.  I think he has the mind of a 12yo and he is very needy, also 6'5", what a picture THAT paints.  This is all via IM as he lives many miles away, thank goodness.  I just can't seem to "shake" him, lol!  I love the IGNORE feature and the stealth settings on Yahoo!  I say just block this guy on your messenger and wait and see if he leaves you alone before switching your email address. 

Going out with a neggie tonight, older guy by 14 yrs, Mr. Researcher as I call him.  He told me this morning that he wrote himself an Rx for an inner ear infection from scuba diving?  My, my, I have found myself a doctor, and he was being private about not letting that piece of info out until we had corresponded more.  Wish me luck, I don't know how our worlds will get along, but I do tend to do better with intellectual types, and I'm sure he knows all about HIV  ;) .  I'll see where the conversation goes tonight.......

Ann, congrats on eight years with your sweetheart, that's so nice to hear!  Thanks for posting!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2007, 06:35:42 PM »
Hi GFs~

Got another SCAMMER!

"smilhb4k"   40-something in Denton, MD   Shows a white guy who likes R&B and is a Native American?  Um....NOT.  I can tell by the grammar in the email that its the same stupid shit down there in Nigeria again.  "Rareguy" must have morphed into this one!  LOL  Let me know if he wants you to "CHATT (double T) with him now."

Dumb and dumber

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2007, 06:52:01 PM »
It's good to see you post, Ann. I think everyone gets a kick out of the dating threads. I wonder how many parts it's gonna be? The only date I have is with the comb today. I am taking down my braids today and will prolly start rebraiding sometime tonight. With hopes of being done sometime tomorrow night. It is a process. The things I do for beauty and not one man to worship me....I just wanted to check in with you all before I go back to the comb.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline cjc

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  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2007, 09:17:00 PM »
Hello Ladies. Not much new here. Ann, that was interesting.  ML, hope you have fun on your date. You go , girl. I got 1 from that guy "smilhb4k" ,too. I blocked him. I blocked the other one "Rareguy"  as well since I couldn't figure out how to contact the staff.                     queen I feel for you, having your hair redone.  Oh well, time for bed. Later,   Cristy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2007, 10:00:17 PM »
Hello!

Just got home and now to get caught up a bit.

GQ--just to be clear -- Threads of Our Heads is supposed to sound like Day of Our Lives. So, that can include dating, updating, whatever anyone wishes---no limitations on content from my perspective, but we do all seem interested in the dating topic.

I'm not dating, at least not for another week until Bakery Man comes into town and sets one up. Until then, I'm just drafting, like a racer, in the exhaust fumes of you, ML, CJC and the lucky few who have some LTRs.

ML, you get more dates---you could handle this thread single-handedly!!

I like learning about this scammer crap and Ann, thanks for letting us know how easily we can all f up and drop the addy facade---yikes, on your anniversary no less.

Well, time to go. Wrist wreck already. Doesn't take long some days.

Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2007, 12:27:22 AM »
Hi GFs~

I emailed Poz about "rareguy" appearing again, I blocked Denton Maryland Native American as well.  I'll email Poz on that one, too.  I just feel bad for the ladies who aren't in the forums and don't know any better.  Then again, if you get pulled in that deep with all of the warning signs in your face.....go figure, still its a shame, but this is the price we pay for a free website!

OK, I am shaking in my shoes after my date tonight -- in a good way!  That only means one thing.....I like Mr. Researcher and I have immediately started to feel I'm not worthy.  Dammit, I hate this cycle of me cutting myself down so as not to feel worthy enough to get close to someone.  Why does this happen?  Gee, maybe so I won't have to disclose?  LOL  I know better!  Shit, I just have to force myself to walk the walk and see this guy again.  I mean, I like him, I WANT to see him, its just that he is a doctor.  I think this is like a lightning strike from the heavens above, like God himself giving me a wake-up call.  I think God is saying, if anyone will understand you, it may very well be this man.  He is so nurturing, which I just adore, we talk about medicine and diabetes, how the human body works....He is a world of information and I am so intrigued, I can keep up with him intellectually.  We were on the phone as......

.........time out, Mr. Hot Short Norwegian just called, he's out of town in Seattle on business......oh goodness he's so cute, haven't talked directly with him since our date two weeks ago, just phone tag, talk about timing.....I fessed up and told him I had a pet name for him, he likes it, lol............

OK, so Mr. Researcher and I were on the phone as he was pulling into the parking lot, says he's in a tiny red car.  He pulls up in a gorgeous burgundy Mercedes 2-door.  He was handsome and immediately took my hand and walked me into the restaurant.  It was nice because he wasn't trying to be all macho like Mr. He Knows (49yo) from a month ago.  We're IMing now, I'm going to see if we can get together tomorrow, too.   ;)   He's great to talk to.  His last relationship of 4 years ended last New Year's, as did mine with my exBF.  This guy has the same birthday as my father, how ironic.  No wonder I think he's so cool!  LOL  More soon!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #15 on: August 05, 2007, 12:49:21 PM »
Yet another winner!  He is "william01" from Albany NY, and makes over $150K in the construction industry?  Not!  With his post-graduate degree?  Not!  He can't spell "Sweety" correctly and as you can see below, his English sucks!  I may just sit tight and see if I can get this one to actually WAIT at Western Union for me.  He has a "pic" of himself with his daughter.  People like this just need to be hit by a bus, they piss me off!  Most of you probably know this, but from my experience, the scammers always put 001 or 01 as part of their screenname.  Makes me wonder about that Catch of the Day guy, Tessa001 or something,  lol? 

Anyway, Sweet William had these nice words to say......I will notify POZ.

"Hi babe, My name is williams ...i am from Newyork and also i single parent since i lost my wife in a auto car accident , since then i had been looking for a true love that is going to be with me for who i am not for what i am ..... i saw your profile on POZ i you just the kind of woman i ever seaching for ..... if you you looking for a serious relationship i will be very happy to be with you for the rest of my life ..... well, you will look to know somethings about me ? then let talk through my yahoo messanger williozem_irete@yahoo.com so we can know more about each other. Lots of Love. William."

Oh just Bite Me, lol

~Cindy



HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #16 on: August 05, 2007, 01:16:24 PM »
I'm quite sure he would like to bite you, your bank account and whatever else he could sink his fangs into.  :P

Snaps to you for hauling in another reportable fish in your net!


Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #17 on: August 05, 2007, 02:37:06 PM »
Yet another winner!  He is "william01" from Albany NY, and makes over $150K in the construction industry?  Not!  With his post-graduate degree?  Not!  He can't spell "Sweety" correctly and as you can see below, his English sucks!  I may just sit tight and see if I can get this one to actually WAIT at Western Union for me.  He has a "pic" of himself with his daughter.  People like this just need to be hit by a bus, they piss me off!  Most of you probably know this, but from my experience, the scammers always put 001 or 01 as part of their screenname.  Makes me wonder about that Catch of the Day guy, Tessa001 or something,  lol? 

Anyway, Sweet William had these nice words to say......I will notify POZ.

"Hi babe, My name is williams ...i am from Newyork and also i single parent since i lost my wife in a auto car accident , since then i had been looking for a true love that is going to be with me for who i am not for what i am ..... i saw your profile on POZ i you just the kind of woman i ever seaching for ..... if you you looking for a serious relationship i will be very happy to be with you for the rest of my life ..... well, you will look to know somethings about me ? then let talk through my yahoo messanger williozem_irete@yahoo.com so we can know more about each other. Lots of Love. William."

Oh just Bite Me, lol

~Cindy




                                                                                 ML, I got that one ,too. Seems like my Bites(no fleas,Em) are turning into pond sharks. Kinda depressing but I have felt down for the last couple days anyway. Maybe just hormones getting back to normal.   And my needy one from Florida keeps calling. I told him last night that he had more issues and more drama than I want to deal with.  Anyway, one day my mate will come along and at least ! have ya'll.  Cristy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #18 on: August 05, 2007, 03:42:20 PM »
Hi Cristy and GFs~

I am a little down and somber today, too.  I just posted in the "Who I Appreciate" thread and it has driven me to tears.  Sobbing like a fool here thinking of all of you.  I guess its the result of years of having absolutely no one to talk to.  Sigh.  And now my damn doorbell is ringing...over and over, I guess I should tell you girls about the "doorbell."  I have a very close straight male friend from HS, his name is Jim.  He contacted me in 2000, got my name out of the reunion booklet, lol.  We hung out all the time, he would look for guys for me, I would look for girls for him, we went everywhere together, did everything together, as friends.  His parents know my parents and live right down the road from each other.  Well, after my exBF dumped me on 12/29/06, Jim took me to a nice dinner.  And then he professed his undying love for me.  I always knew he liked me, he tried to come on to me years ago in 2000 and I shyed away, wanting to be friends, and he respected that.  So during all of these years, he and I have always been in separate relationships, but have been BEST friends.  I disclosed to him in 2002 and he didn't pass judgement, as I thought he might.  He is really a good guy, raised right with a great personality.  So, anyway, he tells me in January this year how he wants to put his heart on his sleeve for me, and how if I should decide to be with him, he would take me in a moment.  He is smitten with me, to say the least, and I can't imagine how he has felt for years as just being my friend, watching from the sidelines.  He has since been married, had a child and divorced, so now single again with a white trash HO for an ex that is a constant thorn in his side.  And he holds himself together beautifully, which drives her nuts!  This year has been crap for me and I didn't talk to Jim for most of April and May.  We drifted and I didn't want to find myself being drawn to him romantically in a time of desperation, to find myself "settling."  I wanted to date and see what new guys were on the horizon.  So after weeks of not talking, I call Jim in late May, days after I lose my job, and tell him I will be alone at my parents place (near his place) if he wants to catch up on things.  He sounds a little miffed on the phone and declines.  At least I tried to break the ice.  I am at my parents an hour later, and here he comes, rolling up the driveway to see me, after decling my invite.  We layed out on the grass and spoke for hours, I recounted all of the crap the year had rained on me and the conversation got deep.  I was pretty upset, and he starts poking fun at me with his usual line "I always can talk to you and feel better after I hear what's going on with you."  In the past, this line never bugged me that much, and even when it did, I would suck it up and not show my emotions, after all he was always joking and making light of things.  On this day in May, however, I told him that I was really close to losing it with all of the bad luck that 2007 had brought me and could he please stop saying that my stories always made him feel better?  I think he was surprised to see the soft side of me, to not see me as the trooper I had always been.  So, needless to say he rubbed me the wrong way, and I couldn't get it out of my mind.  He called later that week, I was in the shower, so he left a message.  This was one day before I had to go in for a woman's procedure on May 25th, and I was a bundle of nerves.  I didn't want to talk to anyone.  He left me a message asking why I was never around anymore every time when he called?  I was in the shower!  Then he went on in the message to say he wasn't going to call anymore, that I could call him.  THAT pissed me off and I certainly didn't call him back that day.  Or for weeks after.  He shows up at my door on June 15th and I say hi and try to be pleasant.  I bring up the serious talk I tried to have with him in May at my parents, I tell him how the voice mail pissed me off on May 24th cause the timing was very wrong for me in light of my procedure, losing my job, my dog dying, need I go on.....?  He is a real joker and he proceeds to show me the numbers in his cell phone.  He scrolls down and down to the C's and I notice my name isn't there anymore.  See, here he was, poking more fun at me.  He said he still wasn't going to call me anymore, "ha ha."  I guess I am the one who has been changing my tune, showing him a more vulnerable side of myself and he just can't "get it."  Maybe he is scared by it, but I have cried to him before when I have broken up with BFs, so he has always been there and has seen the emotional side of things, too.  Is this all my fault?  .........Anyhow, he was here on June 15th during the day, and then returned AGAIN that evening, knocking on the door when I was already in bed at 930pm on a Friday (imagine that, Queen, lol).  Things with Jay (damn I miss Jay like hell....) had started to get heavy that week and my mind was a mess thinking about disclosing to him, and I didn't share any of this with Jim.  I sure don't like anyone stopping by unannounced, it pisses me off, so call me already.  I told Jim this in a light, funny way, but he again said he wasn't going to call me cause he had "deleted" my number.  Ha-F'n-Ha.

I wondered how long it would be before he showed up again unannounced.  I just finished boo-hooing here, posting in the "Who I Appreciate" thread and Jim just rang and rang my doorbell, quite obnoxiously.  I know his trademark doorbell ring.  Honestly, it has been easier not to deal with his antics over the past few weeks because I have been so fragile, but I knew he would come back around eventually.  So, today proved I was right.  What did I do when I heard the doorbell ringing incessantly a few moments ago?  I turned up the volume on my tunes and kept reading and posting.  I didn't answer the door.  My mom would love nothing more than for me to be with Jim, but I have never been attracted to him physically, and with his goings-on this summer, he has me rather pissed.  I know he could open many doors for me, with the possibility of living happily ever after, but I personally don't want to deal with his psycho stupid ex-wife right now, my problems are enough. 

Do I just bite the bullet and give in, even for just "as friends?"  He would take me back in a heartbeat.  Shit, I hate stupid mother fuckers that mess with my head when I'm not in the mood, but he is my best friend......I think.  Help!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 05, 2007, 03:47:25 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #19 on: August 05, 2007, 05:48:51 PM »
  Shit, I hate stupid mother fuckers that mess with my head when I'm not in the mood, but he is my best friend......I think.  Help!

~Cindy

So, help me out here. He's your best friend and doesn't know when he crawls under your skin? Why doesn't he know that? Or, if he does, why would he persist and still get to have the championship title of "Best Friend" ? Me confused. If you buy into that notion that we teach people how to treat us, then you taught him that how he acts is okay. Do you buy it?

Do you know what you want? Forget how happy your Mom would be. What about you? Do you know what you want? If Jim doesn't resemble a character in that vision, then find who does.

« Last Edit: August 05, 2007, 05:53:01 PM by emeraldize »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #20 on: August 05, 2007, 06:05:33 PM »
Or, if he does, why would he persist and still get to have the championship title of "Best Friend" ? Me confused. If you buy into that notion that we teach people how to treat us, then you taught him that how he acts is okay. Do you buy it?

Hi Em~ 

That's what I'm thinking...that for so long, for years,  I didn't say it got on my nerves when he "joked."  Back then, it really didn't, and I joked right back, but I have become more sensitive of late, esp last May with all of the crap I was dealing with, so I finally spoke up.  So, YES, I agree, with years of me being a joker as well, I "taught" him how to treat me.  I really tried to tell him in May and June that it was working my nerves, and yet he has persisted, here and there.  Even with the ringing of the doorbell today, in his mind he was "joking" with me again.  I think the fact that my door didn't open spoke volumes!  You are also right in saying forget what my mother thinks, lol!  Thanks for reminding me that its MY life and not hers.  She only THINKS she knows what I handle on a weekly basis.

Thank you for reaffirming what I already knew, I just needed to hear it from someone else.  Perhaps he isn't really my best friend anymore?  He'll certainly have to earn that title back from me, and I can be a stubborn bitch, lol!

Gummy Bear?  LOL

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #21 on: August 05, 2007, 11:31:25 PM »
Yum! Thanks!

You're a smart cookie and you'll figure out how to tell him, or not. Meanwhile, I think YOU ought to run a dating service with your expertise growing by the week.

Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #22 on: August 06, 2007, 12:33:12 PM »
Hi GFs~

Wouldn't you know it?  I stayed up late again last night until 2am or so, and I was in bed at 11:20am today (ahhhhhhhh, blissful) when my doorbell starts ringing the "special ring" that can only be from Jim.  I yelled at the dog to stop barking and I think maybe Jim heard that.  He didn't ring as long as he did yesterday, and then he went away.  I have to get ready to go to the chiropractor's for my weekly appointment, but I may have to address this issue tonight with Jim.  I will have to call him and ask him to call ahead before just coming by, because I need my privacy.  He'll just laugh and then I'll have to unleash my fury on him, which isn't pretty.  Especially if you're being a dumbass.

As for other dumbasses, there is a member here in the Forums that PMed me a long time ago, last week of June, to say hello.  I wrote back and never heard from him again.  Now he just pops up every now and then filling my Inbox with clutter.  I understand that he thinks he is trying to help me out, as he sent a link to a diabetes webpage today, but it feels strange to have him do this.  He doesn't write anything, just puts the link in the PM.  One time he COPIED an entire thread of his and emailed it to me here.  It was gargantuan and very lengthy, and I had already read it in the Forums.

I just feel that if you're going to PM someone, you should say "Hi, I saw your post on.....blah blah blah" and then go from there, but there has never been any real introduction from this member.  So, being in the mood that I am today, what with the doorbell and all, I PMed this member back and told him not to fill up my mailbox cause I feel like he's a stranger.  LOL  I just got a PM, its probably him.  More later......Can you tell I'm a VERY private person?  LOL 

BTW, Mr. Researcher and I are doing well, IMed last night for a bit.  I might have to hurry this one along and enjoy myself already!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #23 on: August 06, 2007, 09:14:06 PM »
Well, things are chugging along!!

Cristy's liking being back at work, ML's dating a DOC!, GQ's heard from Boo--Hoo f'n Ray on that!, I'm patiently awaiting Bakery Man's call, Ann's chimed in----and, oh yeah, I got a response from a message I sent to a Poz Personal poster. He's literate, professional and his profile and message read as if he is interesting, professional, etc. So, as that unfolds, or not, I'll keep you posted.

Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #24 on: August 07, 2007, 02:46:33 AM »
Hi GFs~

I was on a mission tonight, plain and simple.  Mr. Researcher is now going to be called "Doc" cause its easier to type, lol (TY Em for the idea!).  So, earlier I am online at 530pm, anxiously awaiting for Doc to get home and sign in.  He doesn't sign in until 730pm, but I was READY.   ;D  I basically offered to go to his place and he was like "How soon can you get here?"  He's such a flirt.  He had kept inviting me over last night and I just wasn't up for it. Well, he's less than 20 miles from my place, so I arrived at 9pm.  We sat on the couch talking and one thing led to another!  Great kisser, and also very proud of his underWATER (edited for Ann and GQ ;)  )filming.  He put in a DVD showing some filming that he did at one of the islands down near Venezuela.  We are watching and a turtle is swimming by, lol, and he (Doc, not the turtle) says "That's in front of my house."  I say, "But you used to live in DC, what do you mean that's 'in front of your house?'"  He owns a house on the damn island.  :P   I proceeded to contain my excitement quite well. 

The coolest thing was the background music that went along with the filming.  He and I both love smooth jazz, and that's what was playing in the shots.  Ever hear of The Rippingtons?  Well, I sure as shit have, and I have some of their CDs, "Life In the Tropics" tracks 1 & 2 are my personal faves.  The DVD opened up with these two very songs and I was so giddy with excitement!  My fave music gets me going like you wouldn't believe!  Turns out Doc is good friends with The Rippingtons, I almost shit myself again.  ;D   He keeps surprising me with these little tidbits, he's been holding back info and then letting out bits and pieces here and there.  He's a doc, drives a nice car, knows The Rippingtons, has a house on a fucking island!   :o 

I guess he wants to make sure I'm not a gold-digger.  I may be on unemployment, but I have never gone after a man for his money, its always been for his good looks and his mind.  Doc has those two nailed.  I was uncomfortable a month back with Mr. He Knows who is 49, and I really thought I might be uncomfortable with the age difference of almost 14 years in this case as well, and that's why I got my ass over there tonight.  He was either going to wow me, or freak me out.  All I can say is WOW.  WOW WOW WOW.  I have never been this adored in so very long.  What a sweet man. 

Yes, I have the radar and demons on "high."  Radar up in case he is after one thing, demons keeping things in check because of my needing to disclose.  I see this all moving very fast with him.  He invited me to stay the night, and I declined.  After all, my meds were back at home, lol!   :D  This is definitely going to be fast, like I said, because after tonight there's not much more holding back.  We like being with each other, we have the same values and beliefs, and we are wildly attracted to one another. 

So, I see myself disclosing the next time I see him.  Shit, shit shit.  He will know what to do.  He's a doc who does cancer and kidney research.  He knows anatomy quite well ;).  So, once I tell him, I won't have to explain the virus to him, he'll already know and he will be able to decide for himself.  If he has no problem with it, I am going to be very happy for a very long time.  If he does have a problem, well it was fun while it lasted!  This sounds too good to be true, but we'll see! 

I think my Grandmother in heaven is smiling down on me.  My Grandfather was a doctor!

I didn't leave his place until 1am, and the rest you'll have to PM me about!  Wish me luck, I feel like Cinderella tonight!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 01:15:21 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #25 on: August 07, 2007, 04:35:07 AM »
all fingers, toes & eyes crossed!

am really hoping.

Hugs,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Ann

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #26 on: August 07, 2007, 06:23:57 AM »
Hey Cindy, he does sound great! I had to re-read one line twice though - I thought he was proud of his underwear filming! ;D

One thing you said worries me a little... you're assuming that because of his medical background, he'll be up to speed on hiv. That ain't necessarily so! Lots of doctors - especially ones who specialise in other fields - don't know any more about hiv than the average guy on the street. I just didn't want you to have what may turn out to be a false assumption in this case. Better to assume he knows very little than to assume he knows it all. No disappointments that way.

GOOD LUCK! I don't have to say "keep us posted" because I know you will. LOL ;)

Ann
xxx
« Last Edit: August 07, 2007, 06:25:41 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #27 on: August 07, 2007, 07:17:06 AM »
All YOU can say is WOW? Jeez, all we have to do is go to sleep and you turn the corner into an incredibly new chapter.

With the recent heat wave, I'd almost fallen asleep to life. I'm awake now---reading about YOUR heat.

Despite the laughs (like the Rippington " shit myself" stuff) and the rooting for you, I'm with Ann on not making any assumptions about the completeness of his knowledge of HIV.

I'm hoping he's as good a risk taker above sea level as below. And, yes, it sounds like you'll know, quickly, one way or the other if it's a no-go or damn the torpedos, full speed ahead.

I just emptied a bag of gummy bears...gotta go find more.

Em

« Last Edit: August 07, 2007, 07:18:44 AM by emeraldize »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #28 on: August 07, 2007, 12:55:18 PM »
It wasn't just your eyes, Ann, I thought she said the same thing! Glad the date went well for you, Moonlight. You have a knack of finding doctors...What's your secret? I think I need you to sniff me out one... ;D I'm glad Christy is liking her job. Hey, Camille got kinda quiet lately. Didn't she have another date? Em, I wish your bakery man would hurry up...I could've burnt 5 cakes by now.. :D I am not much of a baker, there's only one thing I'm good at burning.... ;D I am still around ladies, just working on my hair...It is day 2. I am hoping to have it done by tomorrow. They're small braids and since I do it myself, takes a bit of time. But I do check in here when I take breaks...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #29 on: August 07, 2007, 02:46:26 PM »
Hi GFs~

TY all for the well-wishes!  I am SO apprehensive because this is better than "too good to be true."  I won't jinx myself, though!  I am glad things with Doc are moving fast.  I've always liked a man who was a little assertive, over a shy guy moving like a slug.  I know some people don't like to move fast, because then it may be over and you're down, out and dejected.  My mind can handle that.  Not to say I'm not human, of course I have feelings, of course I will be upset if this doesn't work out, but my life is all about changes, and I seem to keep going through them.  Beautifully.  So I will continue to persevere.  I force myself to.  I like the excitement.  I love the challenge.  And I know I can recover from the heartache.  I certainly have before. 

And I have new confidence in the virus, funny as it may sound.  I have read here so many times about neggies not understanding the virus and they all think we're on our death march.  I don't agree.  My biggest problem with disclosing is showing a neggie that the stigma just always isn't so, and that you can live a life with the virus, as a chronic illness.  Hell, I already have diabetes and fibromyalgia, so I am practically an expert!   ;)  I just do what needs to be done to keep myself healthy.

Ann and Em, you bring up a good point which has crossed my mind also.  Maybe he won't understand about the virus, but it sure as hell will be easier to explain to him about NNRTIs and NRTIs, don't you think?  I have been undetectable for over 5 years now thanks to Sustiva, and I am a numbers girl.  If there's less virus inside of me, there is less to be passed on.  Its all in the numbers.  The facts are the facts.  So, if he doesn't have an understanding, I have the Transmission Thread printed out.  Hell, I was saving it for Jay nearly a month ago.  I am armed and ready for the Doc.  I am scared, yes, but I know what I have to do. 


I'm hoping he's as good a risk taker above sea level as below. And, yes, it sounds like you'll know, quickly, one way or the other if it's a no-go or damn the torpedos, full speed ahead.

That's a cool analogy, Em.  Yes, if this guy can swim with the sharks without a cage, then he can certainly be open to the possibility of having me in his life.  I just want to be able to breathe again.  For 11 years, I feel like I have been holding my breath, waiting to start over.  I was close to starting over with my exBF, and the virus scared him off.  I know, I know, you need to love yourself before you can love someone else.  I really think I am there, pretty damn close.  I have come to realize that I am a wonderful person who is actually worthy.  For so long I had felt useless.  Lately, I have even been growing a thicker skin as far as this virus is concerned.  I want to be an activist and be seen, and be heard, and make a DIFFERENCE.  I want to do these things before its too late......One day at a time, though.

I'll let you know what happens.........  :D

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #30 on: August 07, 2007, 09:30:50 PM »
Hey, Camille got kinda quiet lately. Didn't she have another date? Em, I wish your bakery man would hurry up...I could've burnt 5 cakes by now.. :D I am not much of a baker, there's only one thing I'm good at burning.... ;D I am still around ladies, just working on my hair...It is day 2.

You are a howl and a half!!!!...burnt five cakes. Whatever you do don't burn your damn hair! He asked me to dinner in advance of his return to the city. He estimated three weeks. So, it's another great exercise in patience---and I figure he'll be calling soon!

Yeah, you're right...where's Camille? Are we supposed to get a followup report? Do you think she eloped?

ML...you two weren't in touch today? No hot IMs? Nothin'? Hard to fathom. Ahhhhhhh, more underwear, I mean, underwater talk.  ::)

Excuse me sir, will this be a one-tank trip? or two? Will you be needing a wet suit? Oh, just the mini-wet suit. I see, sir. Well, we have several different models to choose from.

Well, I guess I have to come up for some air. Wrist wreck. Ship wreck.

Ahoy.
Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #31 on: August 07, 2007, 09:39:25 PM »
Em~

He just got online a few minutes ago.  Hot IM is ON!  Its so easy to IM with him until I start thinking about this virus.  I'll put disclosure out of my mind for now and enjoy myself in this moment.  We are having fun, chatting about last night!  He's a really nice man.

I PMed Camille almost a week ago and no reply, so I'm not sure what's up.  I'm hoping Sports Car Guy drove her off into the evening on a hot date!

Em~  The "nautical references" are a riot!  Making me laugh over here! 

More Soon!  "Ahoy!"

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #32 on: August 07, 2007, 09:45:36 PM »
I  M  Psychic   :o

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #33 on: August 07, 2007, 11:55:07 PM »
Hi Ladies

New to this blog and hoping you don't mind that I have been reading.  Me, just broke up with my boyfriend who is + and feeling like I will not find anyone that I like or want to like.  Well, nice to meet you and I hope to be more interactive soon. 

K

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #34 on: August 08, 2007, 12:11:58 AM »
Hello SS

Of course we don't mind that you've been reading! Welcome. You mention your ex BF is positive. Are you also positive? Is that why you're concerned you won't find someone?

Well, it's late. I wanted to make sure that one of the nightowls hooted at you. We'll look forward to your posts.

Em

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #35 on: August 08, 2007, 02:26:06 AM »
I was going to say that Moonlight needs a break about now. She's been on a roll with dates for about 2 weeks now. Even God took a rest... ;D....She's on fire...Damn now why did that song Maneater by Hall & Oates jumped into my mind just then.... :D

As for Camille, I have her on my yahoo and has noticed that she was on the other day. I will drop her an IM and tell to let us know what's going on. Last I remember her date went well, right? Maybe she is getting wined and dined.

SS-- Welcome to the Forums. I hope to learn more about you. There is an introduction thread where you can post when you are ready to tell us more about you. In the meantime, enjoy the thread.

I'm off again...Still haven't finished my hair yet. Still am around but can't wait to dig my heels into this thread again. Still no word from Boo since his drive by IM. Even though I am pissed at him at the moment, it is good to know he was not back in the hospital...

(who is missing her girls)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #36 on: August 08, 2007, 04:27:44 AM »
I was going to say that Moonlight needs a break about now. She's been on a roll with dates for about 2 weeks now. Even God took a rest... ;D....She's on fire...Damn now why did that song Maneater by Hall & Oates jumped into my mind just then.... :D

Still no word from Boo since his drive by IM. Even though I am pissed at him at the moment, it is good to know he was not back in the hospital...

Queen~  It is 415am and I can't sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I woke up with low sugar. You crack me up, lol "Maneater".  ~Whoa O here she comes Watch Out Watch Out Watch Out!~ 

I was IMing with Doc earlier this evening and he disappeared!  I called him and no answer, so I don't know what's up.  Prob fell asleep, lol!  He wants things to go to the next level, and fast, so I am very nervous, told him I wasn't "easy."   ;D   All of my demons are circling around my head  (picturing the Flying Monkeys from The Wizard of Oz now....lol).  I want to be able to look him squarely in the eye, disclose, and not lose my composure.  Its that last part I am worried about.  I haven't disclosed in person to someone I was attracted to since the beginning of my last LTR, in June 2004.  I always get so damn emotional.  This is part of the "challenge" I referred to earlier.  I am just going to force myself to disclose, I have to, and if it doesn't work, I can duck out before too much of an emotional investment is made.  Two tears in a bucket, GFs.

Hello, Sunseeker, glad you decided to join us!  I have been here since the end of June.  This is really a great place to be where we all help each other out.  Hopefully, other women will see your new post and decide to join as well.  Before you know it, you'll feel even more at home here.  Em is right, ask us anything.  This thread is like our journal, so bitch, moan, vent, share.....we appreciate it all and learn from each other!

Queen~  I am glad Boo is OK, relatively speaking.  What the hell is UP with him?  Get his damn address so we can hunt him down next time!  Wish he would stop messing with your head, it pisses me off!

OK, have to take Cheech to the beauty parlor tomorrow at 8am   :o  so back to bed for a bit!  Sleep seems so far away right now, what with the thoughts of Doc....and those damn Monkeys.

~Cindy

« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 04:29:50 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #37 on: August 08, 2007, 04:59:14 AM »
hi all,

first of all b4 i forget GQ, i really admire your patience. i'm too lazy even to dye my roots (HIV brings premature grayness)

i am struggling with the medical establishment lately, stepping on toes in my attempt to get myself treated and diagnosed by a neurologist for PN. now this may not sound dating or love-related, but in a way it is...

the result is that my BF has seen me crying, grumpy and tired (from the pain, I don't sleep well). i always promised myself that i would not let him see me "down" from hiv. he has this image of me as superstrong and cheerful, esp since once we where together and i broke my arm and didn't cry and was still cracking jokes. but breaking an arm is one thing, inexplicable, increasing pain that keeps you awake is another... i feel like i am bringing pain and suffering into his life and he is such as easy going cheerful guy. he is also in a very stressful period professionaly and if any of us should be flipping out it's him not me.

I was wondering ML when you refer to HIV as breaking up your previous LTR if that is what you mean, since the guy knew from the beginning that you are poz. is it not HIV per se but the hardships that it brings?

apart from the PN and now also some eye problems (probably PN related, although the GP gave me eyedrops just in case), I am doing good. I am not used to this chronic patient stuff. everytime i talk to people, i end up alarming them, stressing them, and then getting stressed about stressing them. so i avoid talking to my parents. and i avoid as much as possible with my BF but of course we live together so he sees me down and he can tell that i have been crying. how pathetic......

on a lighter note i got red roses this week.... sweet. i really really love this guy. And I don't even dare to hope for all the things I want with him. That's why I tell myself to behave well, not to be moody, not to be sad. all our crisises are HIV-related, we never fight or argue, the only thing is when i fall into despair and then he tries to pick me up and then i try to convince him that the world is a pessimistic s***hole. He is so upbeat and positive and I am so negative. of course these are respective roles. his take on life is:
whenever i want to get a permanent job, a house with a mortgage, and start a family, all these things will be available to me.
my take is:
life is a constant struggle and i will probabaly never get any of these, because i made so many wrong chouces and now everythign is hopeless. hell, just trying to get a neurologist to see me is an effort.
i always want to prepare and think and scheme and connive ways to protect myself and he is so carefree.
that's it in a nutshell

and let me just add that i am still crossing all organs!
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #38 on: August 08, 2007, 07:33:56 AM »
hi all,

 (HIV brings premature grayness) Am I the only person who didn't know this? Hmmmmmm. The good news is I love gray hair.


on a lighter note i got red roses this week.... sweet. i really really love this guy.  Oh that is so nice, Drag.

i always want to prepare and think and scheme and connive ways to protect myself and he is so carefree.That's great---he can teach you and you can teach him...how delightful!




Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #39 on: August 08, 2007, 08:01:22 AM »
mmm... you certainly know how to put a positive spin on things.
That's something I really miss.

 :) :-*
 
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #40 on: August 08, 2007, 09:27:48 AM »
Hi Drag~

You asked...."I was wondering ML when you refer to HIV as breaking up your previous LTR if that is what you mean, since the guy knew from the beginning that you are poz. is it not HIV per se but the hardships that it brings?"

To make it a little clearer, my exBF was "OK" with the virus when we started dating in June 2004.  We never had any hardships, really, just having to practice safe sex, but I certainly don't consider that a hardship.  I think it made the situation all too real for him each time we were intimate and ultimately scared him away.  He was ignorant as to how easy it is to be safe, and that falls on me some, too, for not talking more and reassuring him, but we were busy with the house.....

I disclosed about 10 days after meeting him, and we were off and running....straight to the bedroom.  It turns out that while we were building our house in 2005 and 2006, his fear about seroconverting really started to creep in.  The worst thing is, he never shared these feelings with me.  He even went to get tested again in 2005 and never told me.  I had kept reminding myself that he should get tested again, that it was time, but we were so preoccupied with building the house that I didn't.  I was confident that I hadn't passed the virus to him, and actually brought up the subject of him getting tested again in early 2006.  He just kept putting it off, as far as I knew.

All of our time was either spent building the house or being with friends on long weekend Jeep trips in 2005 and 2006.  So, I feel we never had any quality time, either.  I kept going along, being strong, telling myself that everything would fall into place after the house was built, after we moved in and got settled.  Turns out he was getting increasingly more paranoid and having second thoughts for close to a year before the split.  Maybe longer. 

We broke up (translate  "he dumped my ass") on 12/29/06.  It was a mutual parting, as I certainly didn't want to "leg-hump" a man who wasn't there for me 100% any longer.  I was friendly and we talked nearly every day in January and February of this year.  That was mostly his doing, he would always call me, feeling tremendous guilt over our break-up.  Then he calls in early March and says he's married.  Turns out he only knew the chick for three weeks.  She is on the title to "my house" now, and that irks me sometimes, but I know who she's living with, whereas she is just getting to know who she is living with.  So, nothing lost there.  Oh, and the house still isn't done, it probably never will be.....

Drag, you mentioned appearing to be so strong and cheerful.  I am the same way, while I am doing all of the right things and moving forward with my life as best as I can, I am sometimes dying inside!  My parents think everything is fine, people in general think everything is fine, and after a hell of a 2007, I have had no one to talk to.  My mother gets overly critical and tries to dismiss things when I open up to her.  She still can't believe that this has happened to me, but she's known for nearly 10 years.  So, I feel that I just am NOT letting anyone in!  There is no one TO let in!  I think what I need is a really good cry with someone I can trust, but I don't have anyone like that to go to at present.  You have your boyfriend there with you, and as stressed as he is at work, you owe it to him and yourself to be honest about your emotions.  Holding it in and hiding it from him is going to drive you mad.  You can't be that strong all of the time.  He's there for you to lean on, so take full advantage of it! 

If you really love this guy, and I'm sure that you do from your post here, you owe it to yourself and to him to be honest.  I feel this will also help you to see how he deals with your situation a little better.  Em wrote to me earlier in this thread about my "doorbell-ringing best friend."  She questioned if I had taught him how to treat me.  I certainly agreed that that was the case.  Right now it seems as if you're showing your boyfriend how to treat you, or how not to be as supportive as you need him to be, by holding your feelings in check as much as possible.  What I wouldn't give to have a man in my life to trust and to go to when I needed him! 

You will show this man how much you appreciate him by being your true self and showing, sharing your emotions with him, rather than being a tough girl.  Being tough only isolates you.  If you want a future with him, you can't be tough forever.  Let down the walls and let him in even more.  You may be surprised!

Now take a look at my horoscope for today, Scorpio.  Now I 'm confused, lol!

"Today you'll be given an opportunity to take control -- but you should not necessarily take it. You have a lot of drive right now, but there is no point in moving forward if you're not totally sure where you're going. You'll only end up lost and frustrated. So try not to control anything right now -- just let whatever will be, be. Take a 'wait and see' approach, and be patient. For the moment, it's much healthier and productive to just let things unfold as fate dictates."

I just told Doc last night in an IM that "whatever will be, will be."  Isn't that a coincidence?  Sigh....

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 09:41:08 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #41 on: August 08, 2007, 10:42:49 AM »
Being tough only isolates you.

This is so true and can take a long time to learn. This is why talk shows and reality shows are so popular---because we are seeing people experience a variety of unchecked emotions (well, in most cases) and taking the risk to let the facade fall away regardless of who is present.

We all have so much in common from an emotional perspective. It is our experiences that carve and polish.

I remember someone telling me once that a sign of great intelligence is being able to learn from someone else's mistakes. So, keep sharing your experiences as you might save someone heartache, time and possibly money.

And, Drag, I'm with ML---go all out with the honesty with the BF because if you cannot be truthful with him, then what have you gotten yourself into? A glorified roommate? A wispy friendship?

You will provide the platform on which he may step out, too.

Edited to add one more thing. Having HIV has taught me a lot about myself and toughened me in ways that I needed and softened me, too. When it comes to taking a risk like we're encouraging Drag to take, my thinking will go something like this...rapidly and in a self-coaching vein. " Okay, I know that, essentially, the worst thing I never imagined already happened to me. I'm HIV positive. Therefore, I may now live fearlessly IF I choose to. Being realistic, what on a list of possibilities would be much worse? A man rejecting me? Nope. A friend or potential friend rejecting me? Nope. I've already got experience in those areas and I'm still standing. Another health challenge would be worse, but I'm not inviting the stress into my life to bring that on. "

Move into the core of the truth. Get going. Time a-wasting."

Em
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 10:53:31 AM by emeraldize »

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #42 on: August 08, 2007, 11:04:05 AM »
Oh, and one more thing I wanted to say to ML.

Your mom has an opportunity to be of such support to you, but you have to help her understand what happens when the two of you communicate.

Explain to her how you feel, what you need, where you are in relation to the disease, how stress affects everyone's immune system and how many other things OTHER than HIV captivate your interest!!!

This is yet another setting where you have to take charge---she doesn't yet know how to drive this particular car. Teach her. She probably feels in some parental way like she had something to do with your state of affairs...some failing along the way.

If you haven't given her the Johns Hopkins go-to book on HIV, get a copy for her and invite her to read it and/or use it as a reference book.

My mom and sister have been such phenomenal support. We got HIV out of the way quickly and we just talk about all the things we used to discuss, but we do it more often, more openly and with oooooodles more laughter.

The relationship with one's mother can be so nurturing and sweet. You can give her a great gift at the same time--a better understanding of you.

Em

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #43 on: August 08, 2007, 11:05:41 AM »
Hi Ladies

Thanks for the kind words and look forward to reading and writing more.  Have to wait until tomorrow.  Today work, then off early to go see Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill.  And to answer one of the ladies question (Sorry I will learn your screen names soon) yes my boyfriend was + we met on Poz and ended very badly after year and half and there is not a lot to choose from in my opinion, in my area and have recently told a 2nd negative guy about my status and not sure where that is going to lead to.  First guy said he was fine, got a piece of ass then did not call and when he did said he could not handle it.  So I guess only time will tell.

Well off to work, thank god today is not a 12 hour shift just have a 1/2 day.  Talk you ladies soon.

K

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #44 on: August 08, 2007, 07:27:18 PM »
Sunseeker~

Sounds like you live in Maryland, what with "not a lot to chose from."  Just kidding.  If you've read all three threads thus far, you'll see all I've done is worry about disclosure and go on many dates, never disclosing to anyone I've actually met in person.  You and I are in the same boat then, hell, the entire team is rowing on this one!  Hang in there, and I really hope you find some humor in these threads.  Its what keeps ME going on many lonely days.

Em~

Oh, my mother is a kept bird.  She hasn't worked in 30 years, smokes, drinks and sits around, and is rather naive to the world.  This is because she is strong and just keeps going, without a care in the world.  There are days I try to make her realize the value of a dollar (Dad's dollars), and days when I take it down a notch and try to share some of my innermost fears with her.  She is usually extremely critical, rather preferring to tell me to "Deal with things" rather than being compassionate.  She usually lacks tact in many social situations and I have to correct her.  Not always, but enough.  I know this is because of how she was raised -- by a mother who was then more concerned with her husband than her children, and also by a few  alcoholic step-fathers.  So, I try not to hold things against her, but a lot of the times she acts like an untactful know-it-all and my Dad and I team up and playfully give her shit right back by poking light fun at her.  I sometimes feel like she is the innocent child and I am the mother!  Its not so bad, except for times when I am really down, and who is the first person you go to when you're down?  For me its my number one GF who has always been there for me - MOM.  So, I don't tell her everything anymore.  She can sure make a mountain out of a molehill, whereas I really DO have mountains I'm dealing with at times.  Its all about perspective, so i try to put myself in her shoes when she says she has a "busy week," needing to find time to get her allergy shot AND make it to the grocery with Dad's dollars!  She doesn't work at all, so Dad and I just chuckle to ourselves and go "Woe is me...."  And she doesn't even know about Doc yet.  Doc is a subject I would normally go running to Mom with, just like to my GFs here in this thread!  No need to tell her now and get her in an uproar, with her analyzing everything!  LOL

Well, Doc just called me five minutes ago, after he got off work.  YAY!  He fell asleep last night on the couch around 1030pm (LOVE that couch now....) while IMing me from his laptop.  He woke up at 330am and crawled up to bed, he says.  He is having a buddy over tonight, so he called to say he wouldn't be around much online.  So, I am satisfied, and quite pleased that he did the right thing and called this evening.  Otherwise I'd have to kick his underwater butt.  I even told him so.

So, I am relaxed now, was wondering if he was going to ask me over tonight and get me into a self-perpetuated uproar about disclosing.  I think I'll suggest we see each other Friday night and go from there.  Shit.  I am nervous.  I have actually been jotting down a few ideas about what to say, as awful as that sounds.  I want it to come straight from the heart, but I know I will stumble on my words some.  So, I am rehearsing -- not a bad thing.  Em, some of my ideas for the "talk" include your funny play on the nautical theme, lol!  I plan to tell him I have spoken with GFs about him.  Then move to the fact that we're all on a common website.  Then tell him what the website is about.......sigh, you got it.  I'll feel like I'm swimming with the sharks!  Hey, that's a good analogy for the "talk,"  lol!  I want to explain to him that my biggest heartache isn't fear of passing the virus to someone I care about and get involved with, but rather my fear is the stigma that the uneducated public still places on us.  Do you GFs think it would be wise to start out with "My husband died of an AIDS-related cancer...." and go from there?  I have done that before, and then I just throw myself into the conversation from there.  I don't really know exactly how to start.  We spoke about antibodies and the research he was doing on the way home.  Fascinating topic!

I PMed another Forum member today about being in a book that he wants to write.  I really want to share my personal story.  While I don't see myself with news cameras in my face in Annapolis or down in DC yet, I DO want to take these small steps as I see fit.  We'll see where this goes.

Thanks for listening, as always!

~Cindy

HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #45 on: August 08, 2007, 08:15:17 PM »
ML,

If your mom is hyper-critical of you, imagine her inner dialogue! I'm holding my position that inviting her into your world could be remedial.

Okay, okay on to Doc. May I give some more gut reactions? Why are you intending to suggest Friday? Why don't you let him?

As to disclosure, this is a great topic to throw about. Somehow, I don't think leading with the references to husband and AIDS related cancer will cut it or be creatively captivating.

I'm going to think about this one and come back to post. Story-telling could be a fun way and take the tension out for you and hopefully him, too.

Once upon a coral reef in a blue bay, there lived a perky, one-of-a-kind fish named Moonlight. She chose the name because she enjoyed darting in and out of the salmon-colored reef branchs as the wavey water above filtered the moon's light. Night time gave her privacy and freedom.



Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #46 on: August 08, 2007, 08:27:11 PM »
TY Em~

I will continue  to try with Mom, as I always do.  After all, she is my mother.

As for doc, yes, I will have him choose the next time we are to meet. The story-telling DOES put a light spin on things, but I just don't know if I can maintain my composure.  Then again, I tend to surprise myself, so I await more of your great lines!

Thanks for your input, and for your visual in the reefs!   :D

*Edited to add The Rippingtons - "Club Paradiso"  Doc's friend wrote this tune.  Good song to dance to!  LOL This is the only link youtube had, from The Weather Channel!   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33aAJia8pQo

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 10:23:51 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #47 on: August 09, 2007, 02:40:40 AM »
Just peeking in, still not finished with hair yet. But I will be prolly later on today. I took a break around midnight to do some grocery shopping...Ok, I had a major attack of the munchies and what do I have a craving for? Asparagus. Now tell me that isn't some healthy munchies. I still have more shopping to do but it will carry me over for a few days.

I was put into a bitchy mood earlier cause everyone knows I have been doing my hair but people still insisted on calling me..Grrrrr. During one of my breaks, I decided to call my doc's office to try to get my Lantus pen for my upcoming diabetes class on taking insulin. Actually I called them on Tuesday and didn't hear back. When I call the receptionist tells me everything is ready. Why when I get there, I get handed scripts for the insulin, lancets, and even the lantus pen. I try to explain what the lady (Tammy) told me as far as having to get the pen from the doc's office and not the pharmacy. But hey, I decide to be a trooper and take the scripts anyway. I get to the pharmacy and what do they tell me? They don't carry the pen, none of their stores do and the manufacturer also told them that people have to get the pens from their doctors. So now I am like ??????? and WTF? I get on my cell and call back to the doctor's office. This time the receptionist says she has been making some calls and you have to get the pen from the doc, it'll be here for you tomorrow, along with a slight giggle. Grrrrr...You don't know how bad I wanted to slap the shit out of her but decided to forgive her for her ignorance. I am puzzled to why my doctor didn't know this? Thus time wasted when I could've been braiding my hair....

Nothing to report on the dating due to the fact that I haven't been online. I sent Camille and IM and still hasn't heard anything back, I hope she is ok.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #48 on: August 09, 2007, 04:03:33 AM »
Hi everyone

Thanks for all the wise words Em & ML, and ML thank you for sharing this difficult story. It was difficult (sad) even to read.

I just had time to read it last night but had to rush out to dinner with my BF's workmates, so had no time to reply. I will write about that some other time or later in this thread. I just wanted to say...

ML, you are really something nice for a man to have around. Despite this problem of a virus. I think you should not refer to your husband first b/c that immediatly brings death into the story. You can leave it for later (even later in the talk). i think you should say something like "I really like you and before we get any closer there is something that I need to say to you", something like that.

It's so difficult, I am just holding my breath from her. He'll probabaly need some time to think it over, I guess.

Whatever he does and however he reacts, please remeber ML that you are absolutely worthy. On one can take it away from you. No matter what.

Hugs to everyone,
« Last Edit: August 09, 2007, 04:30:16 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #49 on: August 09, 2007, 04:17:00 PM »
Hi Dragonette~

I told you in a PM and I'll tell you again "Thank you" for your kind words.  Makes me smile and cry all at the same time.  For so long I have felt that because of the virus I haven't been worthy.  I have felt that it discounts every other good thing about me.  I am trying to get my confidence back, but as we know this virus is a very "moody" one.  I have good days and bad days.  When I am down, I just cry and get through it, blast it from my system via cathartic crying.  That's a way that I "step in shit" and not around it, as referenced much earlier in this thread.  I hit my feelings head on and don't try to suppress them.  I know its normal.

Hi Queen~

How's the "do" doing?  Coming down the home stretch?  Take a new picture of yourself in the daylight so we can see your crafty work!  I was IMing with a straight male friend on here and he said how pretty you were!  ;)  I agreed, that is Queen in all her glory!  Sorry, GF, he's out in the mid-West!   Did you get your Lantus pen today?  Make sure you have juice on hand in case you drop low.  Seems you eat really healthy and low-carb, so I don't want you zoning out on us from low sugar!  I had an idea regarding Boo.  Give him YOUR cell number and ask him to TEXT you next time there is a snafu with communication, i.e. computer.  I'm curious to see if he will come through.  Think of it as a test for him.  This way he has no reason not to stay in touch and worry you for no reason.  Cause we all know we worry about our men!  Hell, I was even worried!  Wanted to drive a zillion miles to your place, get you loaded up in my Jeep Liberty and go hunt his ass down!  We wouldn't even have to stay on the main roads, LOL!   ;D

Saw my GYN today, dammit all.  I am going to review other threads here and see what I can find out first.  I suggested going off the pill after nearly 20 years -- more to follow soon!  (*posted in "UPDATES" by "zachysmom/Nicole*)

I was IMing with a new male friend out west last night.  He keeps tabs on us here, GFs.  We were really digging deep, and it was a great IM that I was having with him!  I'm excited to correspond with him more again soon!

Doc got online at 1145pm last night, much to my surprise.  He said he was going to get to bed early, but that certainly didn't happen.  I'm sure glad I wasn't him this morning!  No sleep!  LOL  We IMed for about an hour and then nothing...........I figured he had dozed off again after a long day.  He pops back online and types "Go answer your cell phone.....(smile)"  He was calling me at 1245am and I insisted he go to bed!  He just wanted to talk a little as his computer was acting up.  He had smooth jazz on loud in the back ground and was just chilling out.  We got off the phone after about fifteen minutes.  He hasn't asked me to come over again yet, but its his first week at a new job, so I am being patient. 

I am picturing Doc and I at his place, he is headed for the stairs up to the bedroom, and I say "Let's sit on the porch now that its cooler out, listen to some tunes and unwind some?"  Keep in mind that he is gung-ho for taking me to the bedroom.  He has been flirting, dancing around the subject -- sometimes I can't help but think that's all he may want from me.  I certainly don't want to sleep with a man just to be forgotten soon after.  I have never been one to give of myself that easily, not until I get a good vibe and not until my intuition says "Go."  Its been different this year, as I have dated more mature men.  "Mr. 53", "Mr. He Knows" who is 49, JAY who is 48, and now Doc who is 51.  I like a more mature man.  I figure at this age, 40s and 50s, if they don't have their shit together, then they never will.  Last thing I need is to be babysitting a needy, irresponsible man.  Its MY turn to be pampered!  LOL  Seriously, though.....how do I handle these flirtatious IMs from him?  It just keeps reminding me of disclosure, which IS going to happen very soon.  I can safely say that if I told him I wasn't ready, he would respect me.  Figured that out in the IM some, as well.  Cause if I'm really NOT ready, how can I give myself to a man after not knowing him for that long?  My Devil says go for it, enjoy yourself, have a great time and he will stick around (no way of knowing, really.)  That was what I did when I met a few nice guys in 2001 -2004.  It worked out pretty well.  On the other hand, my Angel says to wait, find out more about him, get him engaged in deep conversation, see what he's all about a little more first.  I think I can find a happy medium while still respecting myself in the morning!  Doc and I DID actually have a deep talk during our first date, over dinner, talking about our exes and how our relationships ended around the New Year.  I want to see a little more of that side of him.  The compassionate, "feeling" side.... He is BIG into communicating, he has stressed that many times, so it makes me feel comfortable to go there and get inside his head some.  Hell, he was talking about all kinds of things in the IM and on the phone last night, it wasn't just about sex.....I have to see how this unwinds.....

I am going to massage therapy now.  I'll be on tonight.  You GFs KNOW any feedback would be appreciated, on anything.  I am honing in, getting close to disclosure, and all of those uncertainties are looming.   Help a girl out?

BTW, I emailed Nicole/zachysmom yesterday, but haven't heard back.  Emailed Camille a week ago.  Seems that they are here reading but not posting, I hope they are OK.  GFs give us a shout out!   :)

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 12:10:50 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #50 on: August 09, 2007, 10:57:19 PM »
Hi Ladies

Survived the Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill concert will all of those cowboys in tight jeans.  It sucks to be recently single and before being positive would I would not think twice about being a big flirt, now not so much.  Just finally told a friend of mine, we both have had a major crush on each other for the last ten years, but it never has seemed to be the right time for us.  Lately our relationship has changed, so I thought.  He got married two years ago and always said he should of not got married to his current wife since he felt pressured.  He always says that I was the one he should marry but was never sure if he was just being a flirt or was some what serious.   He is recently separated and our conversations have turned very flirty and sexual in nature so I decided to tell him about my status.  That night he came over and I explained briefly about my status and it did not seem to bother him as things got pretty heated in the kitchen and then he left for the night.  He also told me that his wife is 3 months pregnant and he feels lost since she tricked him.  Ever since then, two weeks ago he has not come over but we both text eachother and it is flirty in nature.  I flat out asked him if my status bothers him and he said no.  I am not sure what to do.  I want to give him his space due to his pending divorce and a kid on the way.  But I can't help but wonder if he is just keeping up the text messages so he does not have to tell.   Any advise ladies.   

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #51 on: August 10, 2007, 02:15:55 AM »
Hi ML

very quick one b4 I rush off. Thanks for your PM... no need 4 it though i just say what i think, and i think you're a treasure.
regarding Doc, I think you should tell him when you feel that you are comfortable enough, whether from the conversation or from time passing or from the atmo. it looks like he is trying to get confortable too.

at the end of the day we are all humans looking for the same thing, or at least we must make sure that you are looking for the same things. if you see that you are compatible, if you want to have sex with him, if you see yourselves together, than you should tell him. if only because "the secret" grows with time, and because if - and i reallty hope not - he isn't able to take it, it will be less painful when it is earlier.

off to gym
group hug!

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #52 on: August 10, 2007, 02:18:25 AM »
Hi Sunseeker~

Your situation reminds me of the crush I had/have? on Jay.  He is the entire reason I came to poz.com and then started posting.  Jay is going through a divorce and although I never got that next date, and I never disclosed, things were getting heated between us as well.  We were getting VERY close and spoke every day.  What I finally realized was, I can't make this guy come to me, I can't make him like me if he has a pending divorce and job worries.  Jay was under a lot of stress and basically things came to a halt on 7/13.  He had things in his personal life that he just had to tend to.  It sounds like with your friend you should lay low, because he has a lot on his plate as well.  Since he has been a good friend for so long, he'll come back around.  He just needs time to think about his new child coming into the world.  He needs to think about your status, as well.  I guess what I'm saying is, that in my opinion you should respect him and not distract him right now.  That's what I have done with Jay, set him free, basically.  Your friend, although you were close and intimate, isn't thinking clearly right now, unfortunately.  Don't go to him looking for answers because right now he may only tell you what you want to hear because he is stressed.  Be a smart girl, lay low, and he's sure to miss hearing from you.  He'll come back around when he can breathe a little easier!  Its so much better when a guy seeks YOU out, because then you know its sincere.

Hang in there, and keep posting!  

Hi Drag~

I never heard from Doc tonight!  I think he is catching up on sleep!  LOL  I will have to disclose during the next date or the one after.  He wants to be close, but like I said, I want to get inside his head some too.  I may be able to do that all in one night!   ;D  Moving fast, but time has been a wasting for me.  Thanks for posting!

~Cindy

« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 02:20:43 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #53 on: August 10, 2007, 05:30:51 AM »
Hi SunSeeker

Nice to meet you  :)

I agree with ML completely, I think this guy is even more "off limits" than Jay. After all he got his wife pregnant 3 months ago. Be very very careful in what you'r egetting into. You don't want to end up as the GF on the side while this guy takes his time thinking if he wants to get back to his wife or not.

I'll tell you a little story. A few months before I was diagnosed a guy asked me out. He was a little older than me, early 40s, which is usually too old, but I was very lonely and met him through work so I was like, whatever. We met in a bar and he proceeded to get pretty drunk and told me, that he was seperated from his wife and kids because he had gotten a woman pregnant. This woman had the child and remained with her own husband. He told me that that woman was chasing him etc.

Afterwards I saw him again socially, not alone (I told him it was too much for me, and I had met the ex who later dumped me when I was diagnosed). Eariler this year I had become very good friends with the woman he had gotten pregnant. She told me a whole different story. Let's say this guy was playing with her feelings for a long time, but when the s*** hit the fan (she got pregnant), and even when his wife threw him out, he wouldn't commit to this woman even though he told her he was the love of his life. Recently, this guy has gotten back with his wife and kids, while this woman is raising their child with her husband, and he hardly comes to see the child.

I want to use this guy as an example of the "tangled up" guy. He always has emotional issues, he is always semi-committed, just breaking up, or being stalked by some crazy bitch, whom most times if you got to meet, would be quite normal! Some guys just love the drama of being involved with more than just one woman. I am not saying that your friend is necessarily like this and you know him better than me. I personally am wary of anyone who has very bad things to say about his wife/ex, esp. if he had just gotten her pregnant. Just be careful, watch out for yourself, please.

Take care all,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #54 on: August 10, 2007, 06:03:35 AM »
ML my hearts in my mouth for you. fingers, toes, elbows, knees, ankles, eyes crossed about the disclosure thing. u r so brave girl, i'm still a coward and i dont know if i'll ever get those words out my mouth again after two rejections.  i really really really hope this works out for you..he'd be an idiot if he got scared off and let u get away.

sunseeker i agree with ML that u give him his space for a while till he sorts himself out with all his drama and shit going on right now. someone once told me that a man with a child will never be yours completely, u'll always share him with the mother and the child.  but in the meantime i'd occupy my mind with other things if i were u and not worry too much over him. just my 2c worth..

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #55 on: August 10, 2007, 07:43:39 AM »
Good Morning Everyone!

I have nothing to contribute except that I'm glad to see all of the support being given here.

ML -- Like everyone else, I am hopeful that the disclosure to Doc, if you find he's someone you wish to be close to, goes smoothly and doesn't meet with rejection. Every day carries risk, every human interaction carries risk, you're becoming a risk expert.

Drag -- going to the gym, huh? You inspire me to think about at least walking more than I do and getting my free weights out. Okay--I've got the vision.

SS -- You're getting good advice regarding Future Father. You're just assuring him of his attractiveness and marketability, frankly. He's knee-deep in trying to figure out what the f*** he's doing and going to do. Were I you I would run in the opposite direction. Blunt, but true.

Catch y'all later. Nothing new here.

Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #56 on: August 10, 2007, 12:31:04 PM »
A big thank you GFs for your honest replies.  It really helps, makes me smile and tear up again, so knock it off, lol!  Just kidding!  I didn't hear from Doc last night, and don't have any plans today.  My parents are throwing a big party at their place tomorrow for my Dad's employee who is turning 32 or so.  My parents are 60, I don't think they quite know what they're getting into, throwing a kegger for 35 people at their home!  I used to work for a catering company as a bookkeeper and party planner, so Mom wants me over there to help out, but says it isn't necessary.  I am 37, and it just dawned on me, maybe some single guys over there?  Shit, why didn't I think of this sooner?  LOL  As you know, I usually don't go for the young ones, but if I just want some eye candy......Hmmmm!

A lady I interviewed with last Friday (3 women interviewed me all at once and I kicked ass) emailed to say they hadn't made their decision yet.  I replied saying if she wanted another interview I would be glad to come in.  I can't stand this, cause this means there is someone else competitive like me, possibly edging out the job I want!  I wonder if they'll make their decision today?  I haven't worked since May 18th, I don't want to dive into my savings if I don't have to.  My mortgage alone would deplete it very quickly, but if I am smart, I can go a little longer and take the summer off!  Ahhhhhhh........

Mr. Hot Short Norwegian called last night after returning from a biz trip.  He loves to run his mouth, lol, I actually started yawning on the phone!  Hee hee.  He hasn't asked to get together again yet, but I'll give him time, I have Doc on the brain.

I'll keep you posted!

Queen where are you?   :D

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #57 on: August 10, 2007, 08:48:42 PM »
I am looking forward to the day when we have a Women's Gathering...I think we'll eventually get to that point. Maybe we can all converge in some place easy to get to...maybe near Philly or DC. Just throwing it out there.

I came home to a v-mail message from Bakery Man---nice way to end the day and week. He was calling, from a mountaintop in New England, to say that his trip was extended by a week and a half and that he's looking forward to seeing me when he returns. There's something about simple, direct communication. So, while we're not wildly text-messaging, and no one has the other's e-mail, this is plenty good enough as an easy, slow start.

So, BIG contribution, heh? A real page-turner, huh? Has you just hanging on the edge of balcony saying "Drop me, will ya? I can't stand the boredom!!!" For the love of all things containing corn syrup, hand me the f'n gummy bears, will ya?

Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #58 on: August 10, 2007, 10:04:15 PM »
Hi Em~

Thanks for the update.  So glad to hear Bakery Man called you!  Woo-hoo!  Its great that he called ahead to let you know he was thinking about you!  But damn, now we have to wait another 2 wks or so for your hot date details! 

Doc got online earlier and IMed me.  He's boxing things up, getting ready for his floors to be done tomorrow.  Moving furniture around and all.  He typed "Missed you last night" which took me a little off-guard.  Very nice to hear something like that from him, aside from all of the flirtatious innuendos of late. 

Really good band is coming to town tomorrow, one that JAY really wanted to see.  I am helping my parents out at their place with a party for about 40 people or so.  I don't think I want to stay late with a bunch of drunk 30 year olds.   Mr. Good Zip Code said he would be seeing the band tomorrow.  I will absolutely die if I go there and I have Mr. Good Zip Code and JAY in the same room.  JAY just puts me in the "zone."  I don't have to tell any of you.

So, we'll see what happens........

***Heard from Nicole, she has family in town this week and has been super busy.  We should see her here again soon!***

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 10:08:12 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #59 on: August 10, 2007, 10:29:17 PM »
Oh la Ladies,
So the world turns, another episode on the this day time drama.

I just wanted to say I'm missing all you ladies, it's funny how there are more intelligent women on this forum then there are in my every day life....

I agree with E, we should have a gathering one day.....

This is the best support group ever!!!!!!

Much love, and best of luck with the job Cindy.....sending out prayers...
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #60 on: August 10, 2007, 10:37:53 PM »
Hi Girls

Thanks for all of the encouraging words.  Em I don't mind your bluntness in the least, sometimes I need that kick in the ass.  No worries here, but it gave me the strength not IM him in his car.  So I sat in mine and listened to his sexy voice on my scanner all day.   We are both in law enforcement and we work for different agencies and know a lot of the same people so scary at times to think I told him my status since my parents don't know, but I am actually trusting a guy when he says that he will not say anything this is a first.  But the replies I got back made me not text him and will wait to see if I hear from Mr. Cop.  

Moonlight I am glad to hear that you heard from the Doc that is a good sign of things to come.  Have fun at your concert and at your parents.  I have to work till 7pm tomorrow but the first annual Lonely Hearts Club is having its first going out.  Three of my officers broke up with their girlfriends last week, the same time I broke up with my boyfriend, so that should fun.  I look forward to a night of dancing and few martini's to start my weekend.

Tendai and Dragonette Thanks for your advise as well and I am keeping my self busy and I agree that the babies mother will always be apart of his/our lives forever.  But thanks for giving me a much needed reality check, I could not agree with you more.  And its very nice to meet the both of you as well.

Sometimes I think this is better than watching General Hospital.  :)    

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #61 on: August 11, 2007, 12:12:30 AM »
Hi Em~

Thanks for the update.  So glad to hear Bakery Man called you!  Woo-hoo!  Its great that he called ahead to let you know he was thinking about you!  But damn, now we have to wait another 2 wks or so for your hot date details! 

My sentiments exactly!! Now we ALL have to wait. Hey, I just thought of another title....Days of our Hives! But, none of us has hives so we can't use it.

Hi Girls

Thanks for all of the encouraging words.  Em I don't mind your bluntness in the least, sometimes I need that kick in the ass.  No worries here, but it gave me the strength not IM him in his car.  So I sat in mine and listened to his sexy voice on my scanner all day.   We are both in law enforcement and we work for different agencies and know a lot of the same people so scary at times to think I told him my status since my parents don't know, but I am actually trusting a guy when he says that he will not say anything this is a first.  But the replies I got back made me not text him and will wait to see if I hear from Mr. Cop.  

Three of my officers ...

Sometimes I think this is better than watching General Hospital.  :)    

SS -- You actually get to WATCH a soap? I'm kidding, but, wait a minute, do you? It's more fun to be in this one despite the fact that the pay is lousy, the hours when people come to the set are unpredictable and often late. But, hey, this is great, we have a cop boss in our midst---excellent!! And, if we can get bluelove to sign in, we'll have our own mini-femme-forum-force.

ZM -- Nice to hear from you and I agree that this is a good source for support and growing!

ML -- Your eye kandy kegger is probably gonna be a lot of fun! Of course, we'll look forward to the details. Your parents are more brave than they know.

Adios
Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #62 on: August 11, 2007, 12:34:06 AM »
we have a cop boss in our midst---excellent!! And, if we can get bluelove to sign in, we'll have our own mini-femme-forum-force.

I used to dispatch for the county police, I'll make sure she gets here, lol!

Doc just IMed some, flirting again, but not directly inviting me over, yet!
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #63 on: August 11, 2007, 12:45:15 AM »
Oh, Oh, I better hide my stash.... ;D Just thought to let you all know that I finally finished my hair. What a labor of love... ;)

Just to let you know, I did hear from Boo the other day. His computer is down, he burnt out the ram chips. Not sure when he is going to have it back but I guess he checks thing from time to time off of a friend's computer. There is also an outstanding bill he has been trying to take care of or else he is in trouble. I guess that is something at least I now know he is not in the hospital. I let him have it in an email I sent to him. He said he understood my point of view and asked me to bear with him. So I am bearing, I guess. As far as the others that have hit me up off of the personals, I get nibbles from time to time in the form of IMs. Most of them I get during the AM, so I am guessing these people are prolly IMing me while they are at work. Just a guess..Nothing really worth mentioning...Oh well...... :-\
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #64 on: August 11, 2007, 02:31:08 AM »
good morning ladies.

just checking in b4 I leave for Amsterdam to a big brunch full of poz women.

It would be great if we could meet in A'dam. I know Queen would enjoy that  ;). Seriosuly I would love to meet you all.
Unfortunatly I will not be able to come to the US until they make it legal. I'd love to take a roadtrip though.

ML, great that a great band is soming over. I know it might not be appropriate, but can't you just casually call Jay or Zip and ask them if they wanna come along? After all it is their favorite band? (ask both and meet with both of them, hehe).

Sersiouly I don't even think this qualifies as a date. I mean as asking a guy out on a date. But anyway go and enjoy yourself.

And about the 30 year olds (you do make 30 sound like 21...), maybe they won't all be exactly 30? after all, at 30 you already have friends of all ages.

Em, that's so cool that he v-mailed from a mountain! that makes him sound like the sexy rugged explorer type (like the guys in Cowboys are my Weakness,have you read that). That's already sexy, wonder if he knows that?

I dyed my hair at GQs inspiraion and it came out great. I'm just going to straighten it now. GQ, if you install skype you could call Boo on his landline at very very low cost (and free to computer) and hear him on the computer speakers as loud as you want, that's an option.

SS I'm glad you're looking out for yourself and also to learn that you're on the right side of the law  ;). we will defintely need you on the team when we go on that roadtrip, following MLs favorite bands from place to place in a giant campervan (ok I've watched a few movies)

Nic, glad all is still good!

Cuddles to all,

Edited to add: ML, I know you will have a great time...
« Last Edit: August 11, 2007, 02:39:50 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline cheetah

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #65 on: August 11, 2007, 11:42:12 AM »
WOW!! this is awesome. I just stumbled on this forum while trying to research some things.
I have been positive for about 12 yrs and all that comes with it. It nice to see other people go through the same things i go through in my dating life.
ML I wish you luck in your disclosure. All my long term relationships have been with negative people. I tried to date positive guys because i thought they could relate and also because i thought it would be easier. It was the most frustrating thing i ever tried. The Poz guys i met were flaky or had major issues. None of them ever worked out. I have always had better luck with negative men. In the past, my relationships ended because i saw myself as a girl with HIV. While my partners saw a sexy, witty and intelligent girl. After trying to date positive people failed, i decided to believe those guys and see myself as a sexy, witty, and intelligent girl who just happens to be HIV+. It's tough, but it can be done. The guy i am with now, had to beat me on the head at the beginning. To make me believe all he saw was a girl he liked. Because when he sits in his office, he does think of the HIV positive girl, he thinks about the girl who makes him happy among other things.
So think about it when you disclose to this guy. Think about the good things you are bringing to the table. He gets to hang out with a cool chick. .. the only thing he has to loose is he has to practice safe sex at all times with you.
Good luck!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #66 on: August 11, 2007, 01:52:26 PM »
Hello Ladies~~

I hope everyone is having a good day. Just thought I was whiz by real quick before I do more laundry and start playing my game.

Cheetah-- Nice to meet you. Funny you only date neg men, I haven't had the best luck disclosing whether it be w/ someone in a relationship or outside one. I haven't been in a relationship with anyone poz but hopes to find someone. As of late there has been a few neg men but they all seem like leg humpers which is a term you will see used a lot in this thread.

Dragonette-- Glad I could be an inspiration and that your hair came out nice. I wish I was going to Amersterdam and go to one of the coffee shops and I don't even like coffee.. :D Now here is my address....j/k but only because it is illegal but girl if it wasn't, it would be on and poppin.

Moonlight-- I hope the party is a success. Your parents need anyone esle, shoot, I would love for a boss to give me a party... :D Did you tell the ladies about Stone Cold yet? If not, I wll be quiet and wait for you to tell it.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #67 on: August 11, 2007, 02:02:20 PM »
Welcome Cheetah!!! So glad you stumbled into our forum. Hope you'll hang around. Wondering if you just found aidsmeds.com for the first time, too. Thanks for all the optimism regarding negative men being understanding and not fear-filled. That was a post worth reading for sure. I can bet dollars to donuts that Bakery Man is neg---if we ever have cause to have THE talk, I think he'll be kind, but have no idea as to how open-minded he might be.

Drag -- Amsterdam would be WONDERFUL!! as a site for our femme fest. I've only been there once and would LOVE to go again. However, do know that you CAN travel to the US now as a visitor despite your status. I'll try to find a link somewhere to tell you when in the last year that was made official. So, come ahead, you newly hair-dyed gal you.

I liked his voice in person, but on the phone? mmm--mmm. Very nice register indeed. Nope, I've never envisioned a mountaintop call as indicative of sexiness, but then again, no man's ever called me from one...so, perhaps I should ponder this top-of-the-world view he held. Ahhh, I see your point now.

GQ - So glad you gots your hairs done an' all. That's a big investment in time and effort, huh? So can we call you Beauty Queen for a day?  New pic for the avatar coming? Glad to hear Boo has a pulse.

Time to deal with the domestic issues.

See you, some of you, tonight.

Em


Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #68 on: August 11, 2007, 02:06:14 PM »
Okay. Cat walking around outside of bag perhaps.

What's this reference to Stone Cold? Huh? Huh?

Give it up now.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #69 on: August 11, 2007, 02:18:45 PM »
Hi GFs~

Have to run to help set up at the party.  Stone Cold emailed me earlier in the week on the site we call "herpes.com" and I emailed back.  OMG a POS guy, this is a first for ML! He finally replied last night at 3am.  Sent pix to my cell phone, says he's a normal guy, so we'll see.  Picture Stone Cold as a "prettier" more attractive version, this guy is a yummy  brick wall!  LOL  Not sure about personality cause no ph calls yet, but emails seem funny and sincere.  Have to make sure he isn't a player, though.  Guys that good-looking usu are......

I'll be back later to comment and welcome Ms. Cheetah!

Hubba Hubba

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #70 on: August 11, 2007, 02:21:54 PM »
every time I read that herpes.com I laugh...not that herpes is funny, it's not, but that you all dubbed the site is a minor laugh riot.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #71 on: August 11, 2007, 04:53:19 PM »
ML -- Your eye kandy kegger is probably gonna be a lot of fun! Of course, we'll look forward to the details. Your parents are more brave than they know.

I have my camera ready for the kegger, lol!

LOL, getting rather impatient now, lol!  Party starts at 7pm, and my parents' place is about a half hour drive from me.  My Dad's shop and the restaurant where we are picking up food are both 2 miles from my house.  So, here I am, waiting to meet Dad at his shop to help load tables into his van, then going to the restaurant to pick up food for the bunch.  Have to wait until the last minute to pick up cold-cut sandwiches etc cause parents don't have a big enough fridge to fit the platters into!  I worked for a catering company and it miffs me that they have nowhere to keep the food cool.  Everyone will get drunk and sick, lol!  Hopefully, it won't be that bad.  They'll be jumping into the pool with their clothes on -- or maybe naked?   ;D

Can't you see they are running right on time, lol?  Dad is helping someone put the tent up at his house right now.  I'll probably still be sitting here at 8pm, lol!

No word from Doc or Stone yet......but the night is young and I have a plan.....Can always come back to my hood later and see if Mr. Good Zip Code or JAY are at the club.  If JAY was there, I would absolutely die, he still has that effect on me!  This past week was the first week he didn't email or anything.  :(  The three previous weeks were one contact each by email or phone, prior to 7/13 it was full-on, dammit dammit dammit!

ML I wish you luck in your disclosure. All my long term relationships have been with negative people. I tried to date positive guys because i thought they could relate and also because i thought it would be easier. It was the most frustrating thing i ever tried. The Poz guys i met were flaky or had major issues. None of them ever worked out. I have always had better luck with negative men.

So think about it when you disclose to this guy. Think about the good things you are bringing to the table. He gets to hang out with a cool chick. .. the only thing he has to loose is he has to practice safe sex at all times with you. Good luck!!

TY, TY Cheetah!  POZ men are usually a dime a dozen, with nothing in bewtween their ears -- and I figure THAT out from an IM, never get to the phone call or meeting in person, except for one guy.  Very intelligent, good morals, can't seem to find that with poz guys around here!  Thanks for your post and WELCOME!  I was reading and thought that you sounded just like me -- helps to vent some, doesn't it?  Where do you live, if its OK to ask?  I respect your privacy, as well.

I liked his voice in person, but on the phone? mmm--mmm. Very nice register indeed. Nope, I've never envisioned a mountaintop call as indicative of sexiness, but then again, no man's ever called me from one...so, perhaps I should ponder this top-of-the-world view he held. Ahhh, I see your point now.

......"Go....tell it on the mountain, over the hills and EVERYWHERE!"  LOL  Forgive me, giggle giggle!  Had to!

Beauty Queen~

GIVE BOO your cell# in an email already!  No excuse for him not to stay in touch.  You can be a texting fool and stay in touch that way while his computer is down!  We know you like pushing buttons, what with your PS2 and all!  LOL  Go, girl, GO!

..........Stone IS pos.......we'll see how this unravels!  ;)  Hmmm, he just emailed me!!!!!!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 11, 2007, 05:09:50 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #72 on: August 11, 2007, 08:27:11 PM »
Still doing laundry and fixing myself a veggie dinner. I'm not really feeling too good either. Earlier today after I took my meds, I started feeling sick to my stomach, jittery and light headed. I went to sleep. When I woke up I felt a little better but still feels tired. I finally got the script filled for test strips but told the pharmacy the wrong kind so I have no clue what my sugar is. I had a popsicle last night but other than that it has been Pepsi. I also have been drinking vitamin water, figured it's good for me and I'm supporting 50 Cent..Heeeeey!!!!

Yeah, I know, I think I will give him my cell and see if he can text me but knowing my luck he prolly doesn't even have a cell. I will give him the number anyway. That is a good test, Moon. Not sure when he will get back online again. Em, it took me 5 days to do my hair, you damn right a pic is in order after all that work. Needs some new ones anyway. I will get on it when I feel a bit better. Might even put on some make up. Back to the laundry....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #73 on: August 11, 2007, 10:17:50 PM »
Wow! I haven't been here in a while and I sure have missed quite a bit! Since I am still new I haven't gotten back into the "dating" frame of mind. It is encouraging to read about all of your adventures though. It gives me hope.

Moonlight: It sounds really good. I hope everthing works out for you!

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #74 on: August 12, 2007, 05:31:54 PM »
Hi Girls

Well, my night out with girls turned out to be an interesting evening.  It started out with meeting 3 guys that my friend new who were having a bachelor party and rented a suite and a nice hotel down on Santanna Row where there are a bunch of nice shops and night clubs.  It started with a couple of shots then we went to a bar where I had a few drinks there.  Now keep in mind girls that I am not much of drinker but was in the mood last night so I stuck to Vanilla Stoli and Diet Coke.  Well, lets just say that after one shot and three drinks later I was stumbling back to the guys hotel try not to get sick.  Well, no such luck got sick, exposed a breast (not on purpose) due to my low cut shirt and paid $80.00 to get a taxi back to my house since I could not get back to my friends.  Then if the night could not get any worse I texted one of my officers who has a crush on me that I missed him and could not wait to be with him.  Yeah that message was supposed to be to Cop #2 (not to be confused with Cop1 who is going to be a daddy)  Cop#2 and I were texting all night long and some how sent my coworker that message.  Not sure how to get out of that one.  Can I be so rude as to say that is was not meant for him?  Oh well, I think that I will just wait and see if he says anything to me.  Oh and by the way I refrained from drunk dialing Cop#1 and did not even call him today when I was in his beat that he is working in.  I am going to see if he calls me this week. 

Moon- So did I read right you use to be a dispatcher also?  For how long and why no longer if I may ask.

EM-  Yes I always find time to watch my Soap which is General Hospital.  I have watched that since I was a little girl.  About 7 years ago I spent a week on the set since a friend of mine, son had a small part on the show.  His story line revolved around a main charters story line.  Now he is no longer on soaps but tours with Eddie Money. 

Dragonette - Yes sometimes it has its advantages and disadvantages to being on this side of the law.  I have found that a lot of guys don't like that I am in law enforcement.  Its weird I guess they think that I am going to turn them in if they do something wrong. 

Cheetah - Glad you found this site I just found this about a week ago myself.  Welcome.  I liked reading what you had to say and for me hearing things like that really hit home.  Thank You.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #75 on: August 12, 2007, 06:52:20 PM »
**WARNING:  THIS IS A VERY LONG POST, LOL!**
*EMPTY YOUR BLADDER AND GET A DRINK FIRST!*

Hi Sun~       
I admire your willpower, since you haven't sent a text to Cop#1 yet, woo-hoo!  But, GF, WHAT is happening with the drinking and exposing your goods, well "one" "good", lol?  Have to laugh, cause "Brick House" just started playing on my computer!  "She's lettin' it all hang out!"  Picturing you dancing around , tipsy and happy as a bird, lol!  I don't drink, either, maybe you'd better mix in some water next time, in between?  And you mistakenly sent a text to a coworker, a third guy?  Yikes!  But, hey, at least the evening was eventful?!   :o

Hi Viv~
Welcome back!  Yes it HAS been awhile!  Get in here and tell us what's going on in your life, it doesn't have to always be about dating, if that's not your thing right now, honest!  :)

Hi Queen~
I really hope you're feeling better today.  Have you eaten much?  Just rest and I will try to catch you tonight....but if you have no appetite tomorrow, I would call the doc.

Last night at my parents' was a little bit of everything, lol.  At first I was running around, getting overheated, clearly working even harder than the wife of the birthday boy, who planned this entire thing.  She is a ditz, if you ask me, lol, oh well. 

I had to go lay down in my old bedroom and cool off around 730pm or so, changed my clothes, redid my make-up and went outside under the tent.  Mostly older people and bday boy family there, but it was nice to meet everyone.  I just mingled and introduced myself.  Later on, three guys show up, one with a fiance, and two single guys.  At one point, I was giving one guy a tour of my parents home and making small talk, nice guy, we talked about football.  Skins were playing last night.... We went outside and I mingled a little more, there were about 25 people there and it was dark out, tiki torches lit, tunes going -- hell, I was in my element, but getting rather tired of listening to Buffet on Sirius at this point.  LOL

One of the three guys introduced himself to me, as a matter of fact, he made SURE he introduced himself to me.  He brought a soft cooler with his own beer and I kept teasing him that it looked like a diaper bag, lol!  Mom got drunk off of too much white wine and not enough to eat -- she nearly did a header into the bushes, and we started howling with laughter!  It was a riot, she drinks wine every day, but to see her laughing, and dancing and then almost falling on her head when she went to sit down, omg!  I went to get her some water.

Sat with mom and told her briefly about Doc in a nutshell...doctor, knows smooth jazz artists, scuba dives, same bday as Dad, doesn't know my status.....Didn't say he was 51 though.  Mom just turned 60 and Dad is 58, lol!  Meanwhile, Buffet Parrothead tunes are REALLY getting boring, so I go try to talk with the "younger crowd" some, lol!  I comment on the music and the guy who made sure he introduced himself to me earlier said he had a laptop with zillions of tunes on it.  We hooked it up to the stereo and I kept telling him what tunes to play.  You should have seen my mother.  She apparently got her second wind, lol!  There were only about five of us dancing in the driveway, but it was so much fun!  We put on "Can't Touch This" and mom and I let ourselves go!  Asses were a wigglin'!  Keep in mind Mom is very petite, 5 feet tall, and LOVES to dance, isn't shy at all!  So, I was right there with her, we nearly fell over many times, she was drunk and my neck/perception thing was working against me, teetering in my little heels, until later when I worked that mother out!  Lynch Mob's "Wicked Sensation came on and I almost wet my pants!  I did a 360 and flipped my hair completely around in a circle, bending at the waist!  We didn't keep that song on for long, apparently there were only two metalheads at this party, myself and the "DJ".............. You shoulda seen the look on his face after that move I did, lmao!

So, here is DJ, as I will now dub him, standing next to me, and we are looking at tunes scrolling by on his computer in the dark.  He moves in close and says, right in my ear, "Oh my gosh, I'd love to take you to dinner sometime, I'd come up here and see you and take you wherever you want to go...."

HUH?  WTF did that come from?  LOL  I look at DJ with his beer goggles on and immediately think that I am unworthy, that he's just too drunk to see I'm nothing, really.  And then, not even a split second later, I look him right in the eye, in the glow of the tiki torches, give him a huge smile and hear my voice reply "I would love that!  I'll give you my number!"  WTF did THAT come from?  It was like an out-of-body experience, lmao!  Mouth opened and spoke while brain was saying Nooooooooooo!   :o   LOL  Here I am, HOin' myself out at my parent's house, and he is trying to put his arm around me....I had to take something inside, so I slid away and went inside for a moment to collect my thoughts. 

NEVER expected anything to come of last night.  Mom caught up with me dancing again later and whispered, "He likes you.....!"  I told her I would have Dad check with the birthday boy, since DJ is a good childhood friend of bday boy's.  Dad said he would investigate for me, lol! 

What a shitstorm THAT scenario could be, if I dated this guy, disclosed, then he tells bday boy, and bday boy who works for my Dad knows my story?  Bday boy is a good guy, like family to us, and this is all putting the cart WAY before the horse here, just daydreaming about "what ifs" but I always find that I am trying to protect my parents from my status.  I just need to stop it already.  Here I am, placing the stigma "shitstorm" on an entirely hypothetical scenario.

I have been dating all kinds of guys this year, DJ just turned 34 last March.  Oh my, a young one, not usually my type these younger ones (I will be 38 in Nov), and he is just starting a divorce, but I can certainly be a friend or date some if he wants.  He lives 70 miles south of me in Virginia, but what the hell, right?  After all, he DID see me in my element, with the 360 and all, lol!

So, the evening was fun and I was trying to be discreet about DJ after he left.  We were standing around, some of us, including both of my parents, and Mom said again "He likes you....."  I said, I know, Mom, and pulled his biz card out of my drink kozy, lol.  Talked to Dad later one-on-one as I was leaving and that's when he said he would ask bday boy about DJ's details, lol.  Dad is so cool!  (DJ called today and we spoke for an hour, he offered again to come up and take me out.  I know he wasn't drunk this time, lol!  We'll see what happens, as he is just starting that messy divorce.....)

So, back to last night, it's 1230am, and I am rolling down my parent's driveway in the country, ready to head home and I check my cell.  Ooooh!  I have a VM!  I listen and its Stone!  I finally got to hear his voice!  Very well-spoken man, and such a flirt!  I was happy at what I heard!  He has his child this weekend, so I haven't called back, but I've emailed him.  We missed each other online last night, but I may try to call again later this evening.  Just not sure what his schedule is with the little one.

Haven't heard from Doc, but honestly, I am distracted by Stone now.  With him there is absolutely nothing to hide, as he is pos, too!  (Yes, ladies, ML is actually in touch with a pos guy in HER area who seems worthy!).  This leaves me feeling vulnerable, which is a good thing for me.  I have put in some of my personal ads this year that "I want a man who can make me feel vulnerable again, because I have become so guarded." 

I KNOW why I have become guarded, because I have been dipping in the neggie dating pool, and fearing disclosure left and right.  I have to talk to Stone tonight, see what he's about.  I have a feeling we will be meeting very soon!  I can't wait!  OMG   ;D   :D   ;D   :D        :P

Needless to say, I didn't go to the club to see the band last night near my house.  It was 1am when I passed by it on my way home.  I got home and Mr. Good Zip Code was online, and I apologized for not making it.  He said the band was too loud (what?  a band is NEVER too loud!) and he said the music was "OK."  Turns out there were about 6 of his HS buddies with him at a table last night.  Now can you imagine IF I did go, and I was at a table with 6 men, and then JAY is in the club somewhere, too?  Probably would've been too overwhelmed.

I woke up today and the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes was Jay, it kind of surprised me, I was still fuzzy from sleeping.....and then immediately I realized I couldn't remember his last name.  I panicked and then I quickly smiled to myself.  Perhaps I am letting go now, after a month of not being in touch, after 6 weeks of not seeing him.  I knew I would be OK eventually, as now he is slowly slipping away.  Besides, Stone is on my horizon.  I want him to bench press me already, lol!   :P

Stay Tuned!

~Cindy

P.S. - The F'N doorbell went nuts today AGAIN!  FOREVER!  Around 4pm I looked outside and there was Jim's truck.  I yelled, "KNOCK IT OFF!" towards the front windows and almost popped a blood vessel.  Man, I sounded MEAN, lol!  Surprised myself, even!  As he was pulling away, I sent a text to his cell: "Stop it, pls. & respect my privacy in the future."  I have my phone turned off now but will go to see what dumbshit he prob sent back to me.  Now he has my # again, no excuse not to call ahead!  Hah!
« Last Edit: August 13, 2007, 04:41:39 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #76 on: August 13, 2007, 07:51:37 AM »
......"Go....tell it on the mountain, over the hills and EVERYWHERE!"  LOL  Forgive me, giggle giggle!  Had to!
~Cindy

Well, now, that's so cute. Maybe someday soon all of us will be singing...

" She'll be coming 'round the Mountain when she COMES!"  :o

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #77 on: August 13, 2007, 08:04:34 AM »
Hello to all our readers  ;),

ML, it sounds just awsome, all of it (and I am not even commenting on Mr Cliff, or is it Mr Stone? Confused him for a sec with Em's Mr Bakery VMing from a mountaintop).

Well the ages, and age difference, are just like me and my BF, but reversed. i don't think it's a big deal. actually a good friend of mine who is 36 just broke up with a 40 year old woman to date a 45 year old one! and no he is not even into "older" women, he always had younger GFs before and this is just a coincidence. These women look great and he is attracted to them, so why not?

Of course in your case it is a much smaller diff and I wouldn't worry about that of all things.

I really feel like you are getting there, getting out there, enjoying yourself,  ;) headbanging ... now just need a PA to keep track of all those guys, lol.

As for me I have met some amazing women on the weekend, all of them refugees and immigrants, many with babies, many with no place to live, no legal status and hardly and right for treatment, no money for milk and diapers and no one to help them except a few other women in a slightly better condition (because the AIDS foundation here is almost 100% dedicated to parties for men)... what a f***ed up world this is. No, I'll say it once again without censureship: this world is fucked up big time.

So we should enjoy what we have.. I came away from that meeting feeling sad, angry and helpess, but with this resolution. There was one poz woman there, who can't even read and witre. She has been told back in Africa that she was "seropositive", but she said, she had no idea what this meant, or she would have killed herself. Somehow getting here, at the refugee camp she got very very ill. Without a legal status, not even a staying permit, she was completely uninsured (all Dutch RESIDENTS must be insured, but when you are not legally a resident, you are nobody in the system, no bank account, no right to work, nothing). She had a real hard time just getting an appointment for a checkup with a GP, she had to pay upfront 900 Euro. She asked for a HIV test and the doc told her "why do you want to get that? It's better that you don't know what you have, b/c there is nothing you can do about it" [and he was right.... unless you have a CD4 below 200, you will be deported nonetheless with HIV, even back to countries without any treatment whatsoever]. She insisted, and it came back positive, then she was hospitalized and had to pay every cent she had for that, but one doctor saved her b/c she ws so ill she had grounds to ask for asylum on  a medical basis. She said that when she told her sister she has AIDS, her sister told her she had it too, and not to worry. When she asked her sister "how do you have it?"", her sister said "don't talk about it, you know the life we had"  :'(

There were 2 young girls helping to look after the many children that came with these women, both in highschool, one is the daughter of one of the poz women and organizers, the other is her friend who is half Dutch and half Latino. I was helping them later take down the decorations and talk to that girl, she told me, that she had been in this building (a kind of church lent for this function) before, because when she was a little girl, her mom's friend was dying from AIDS and many times she went with her mother and sat in that rugged common room, and then her eyes filled with tears...

I can write so much more about this, about the young beautiful woman who got on the bus with me, a Muslim with a headscarf, and after I was there she appeared (the driver neglected his promise to tell her where to get off). A young, beautiful woman who had a child at 15 and he got taken away from her and she had to run for her life from an old husband and his family who wanted to kill her, and she has been genitally mutilated like so many Muslim women, and she is educated and speaks English and Dutch, but can't do anything but wait for the papers. And while you wait you stay in refugee camps in the middle of the forest, with many people in one room, for years. There was a lovely Ethopian woman there, so sweet and quiet and gentle. She stayed for 14 years in this camp till the papers came through. 14 years using showers with signs that tell people not to shit in them, because some of them have never used showers before, with stabbings to steal jewlery, with no privacy, no peace and quiet, no money, no rights, no contact with friends and family and even children left behind or escaped to other counties, and with HIV... can you imagine how disease infested these camps are, that the women who manage to get to them after being voilated and raped and threatened and terrorized in their countries, have to wear plastic bags on their feet whenever their shower, because the water is knee deep, and cannot sit on a toilet, and can't sleep b/c they share their rooms with strangers, and in these conditions that even a healthy person would get sick, they have to survive for years with a collapsing immune system.

A complete hijack of the thread, but this meeting really shook me. I mean I was aware of most of these things, but it was different meeting these people in person. And the children... It made me value being a woman so much and vow to change my life, not to slip into depression and not to drift away from society but to remain active and involved and enjoy what I have, because if these women can still laugh and talk and take care of themselves and have beautiful babies, I can make it too.

Lots of love to all,

[Modified slightly at the top]

« Last Edit: August 13, 2007, 08:23:09 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #78 on: August 13, 2007, 10:14:19 AM »
hello, welcome cheetah. I liked what you said and will think on it.  sunseeker, you are a dispatcher. Cool. Sorry you have to be here but glad to have you      Em, glad bakeryman called you. Damn ML, you   are a busy lady. i haven't had any bites(no fleas', em) lately but am starting not to care.     Queen, glad you got your hair finished and sorry you are not feeling well.        Dragonette, will have to read your last post carefully  but I think it will be very thought provoking. I sure am fortunate to be here in the US with good medical services and all the other things I  most times take for granted.                                  I did go to a birthday party yesterday for a co worker's son. I took Robert (4) and her son was turning 5 . We had a really great time. It was nice to get out of the house.    Anyway, hope everybody has a great week.  Cristy

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #79 on: August 13, 2007, 12:43:47 PM »
Yes, I had a feeling I was forgetting something... welcome Cheetah! and thank you for a very uplifting 1st post.

And Queen, get well soon... I hope you're better

And all the best as usual to the rest of you fine ladies.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2007, 12:45:18 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #80 on: August 13, 2007, 05:26:58 PM »
Just thought I would stop in for a few...Thanks for your concerns ladies, I appreciate it. I think I caught a bug from when I took my son to the hospital the other night...And of all nights to be hugging the toilet, Boo hits me up. He got his computer back but I think he still has problems. I try to chat with him in between running to the bathroom. After there was nothing left, I felt completely drained and light headed. So, I told him I didn't feel good and needed to go to bed. He said he would be on today but hasn't seen him on yet. Moon, I did send him my cell phone number in an IM but he said he didn't get it so I gave it to him again. He doesn't have a cell because he said it wouldn't do anything but collect dust because he doesn't go anywhere. But he did give me his home number. So, your advice was good. I am still not getting overly excited yet, I want to see how well he tries to communicate now.

I finally got the right test strips for my glucometer, so I started testing last night because I actually thought at first that it was my sugar. At 9 pm, before the barf fest, it was 138. I took my medicine then checked it again at 11pm, it was 91. I got up today for a fasting sugar and it was 106, my doctor wants me to have a fasting sugar of 100 so I didn't think it was that bad. Now my next question is maybe I can just take a shot a day and ditch the pills altogether? What do you guys think? I still am not feeling good, hasn't eaten yet for fear of getting sick but I am making something to eat for later.

There are other things going on in my world right now that I really don't need especially feeling the way I do. I will not bring it up here but will start another thread to vent.

Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #81 on: August 13, 2007, 06:29:15 PM »
Hi Queen~

Glad there has been good news on the Boo front!  Last thing you need is more stress right now.

Looks like your sugars are great!  I don't know why your doctor would want to put you on insulin with readings like those, but I am not the doctor!  LOL  Keep in mind, and I will as well, that these readings were all during a time when you were sick and not eating much.  Once you are eating again like you normally would, then you'll know better.  The sugars may be very high, esp at the end of the day depending on how many carbs you've eaten and what kind they are (i.e. fruit salad vs. pasta in the evenings, etc.).  Different foods affect your sugars in different ways, some staying in your system longer (breads and pastas) and showing up as "sugar" when you test, even four hours after a meal.  Stay away from the soft pretzels, ok?  They equal five slices of bread, and thats just the plain ones!

Get yourself "right" and build your appetite back up gently this week.  Push the water and hot tea and be easy on your tummy.  I keep thinking you felt sick before you took your son to the hospital, I'll have to check the thread here.  I would call your doc tho, diabetic or ID, either one, and let them know what's going on.  I wouldn't want to wait until Sept.

Hang in there!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 13, 2007, 06:31:06 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #82 on: August 13, 2007, 06:36:58 PM »
As for me I have met some amazing women on the weekend, all of them refugees and immigrants, many with babies, many with no place to live, no legal status and hardly and right for treatment, no money for milk and diapers and no one to help them except a few other women in a slightly better condition (because the AIDS foundation here is almost 100% dedicated to parties for men)... what a f***ed up world this is. No, I'll say it once again without censureship: this world is fucked up big time.

Hi Drag~

Are you volunteering or is this part of your regular work?  I tried to imagine being where you were with these women, picturing the deplorable conditions that they are in at this camp.  Waiting 14 years for papers?  I can't imagine!  Here I am in the USA, fighting what I think are "demons" when others are so much more unfortunate.  Thank you for your vivid recollection of this past weekend, it has really opened my eyes, and is a reminder of how grateful I should be for what I have.

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #83 on: August 13, 2007, 06:43:31 PM »
You have a point about the readings, Moon. I will wait and keep testing. It was nice to hear from Boo but it sucked feeling miserable. I was feeling mostly tired before the hospital, feeling run down, I think I did feel nauteous once...I am going to get up and try to make something to eat.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #84 on: August 13, 2007, 07:12:57 PM »
Queen~

Since you have been sick, remember "BRAT" when eating again, until you feel better!

B-bananas
R-rice (plain white)
A-applesauce (if you feel up to it, but watch the sugar)
T-toast (dry, no spread)

Lotsa water, too!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #85 on: August 13, 2007, 08:05:15 PM »
Hi Drag~

Are you volunteering or is this part of your regular work? 

Neither. My work couldn't be more about BS and less about people, unfortunately...

The meeting was organized by an org called poz women of the world, which is run by two lovely friends of mine, one of which is also an asylum seeker from Mexico, and it is completely grassroots, I mean she started it while still living in the camp (my social worker told me today not to call it a "camp" but a "center" ["camp" seems to offend Euro sensitivities], but she sstill defined these places as "noisy, dirty and dangerous"). They don't meet in these conditions, that's how some of these women live now - and how all of them almost lived at some point for several years or more - but for the meeting,  they come from all over the country and meet in a house donated by missionaries that help Latino immigrants or something like that. It sounds very "rough", but it couldn't be further from how it was. It was very, very cosy. Lots of babies of all colors, and lots of fried food (I OD'd on it), and rabbits in the yard, and a nice old house with old books like some grandma's big old house, just a place where all these women can breathe and unwind for a while. And I also came there to do that, I just came to be with poz women and hang with my two friends ...


***

Anyway, back to the romantic front... my social worker told me that I should get married (if only for the social rights in one country or another). I kind of mentioned it to my BF. I told him she said I need to marry a rich Dutch guy (she said that initially). I was like, you mean one of these bisexual guys, who will have to run off to a leather party every weekend and cry how much he doesn't like it and how he could never love a guy [been there very briefly]? And she was like, no, maybe that's not a good idea after all... then you should just marry someone who works here, to get your rights... I'm like, hmm, let's see, who could that be  ::). So I told my BF about the first advice and he asked is that all she said, and I said no, but I can't disclose more at this moment, and we both laughed, and just hang out quietly for a while. I really, really don't see him asking me to marry him, and I'll probabaly be 60 when he is ready to have a baby. Still I can't push it... I get horribly anxious though, there's just so much uncertainty in my life. I look at these women, and I feel who the F am I to even think of complaining, but then it catches up with me again.

My parents did something amazing for me, since I can't seem to get over the hurdles in the Dutch system, they booked an appointment for me with one of the world's leading PN specialists in London, where I fly on Thus. I still can't get over it. It's expensive as hell and my doctors here certainly won't like it. But hey if they don't want patients to see outside specialists they shouldn't take 6 months to fix appointments. I feel bad about the money, but my parents really insisted. I am really so touched.

Well, this is an open topic thread so I hope no one minds... I feel like all these things are so mizxed up for me - work, health, love, the future, wanting to have a baby, family - it's one fuzzy mix. There is a lot of s*** at work too which i can't open on here. Basically I am being taken advanteg of by people I trusted and I will not be surprised if they think they can get away with it b/c due to my status I am more vulnerable. Or maybe they just couldn't care less. So that's how it comes out here. "The personal is the political", that couldn't be more true when you have HIV.

I'll go up one to read Queen's now.

Hugs all,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #86 on: August 14, 2007, 01:33:21 AM »
Hi Drag~

Glad to hear there is so much "positive"  (lol) activity in your life!  meeting these great women, tossing the idea of marriage on the table to your BF (be careful!), and now jetting off to London for a PN appt!  Yay for Mom and Dad for doing this for you.  I didn't know you had to wait 6 mos for your local doc!  Goodness!

On a side note, Camille PMed me back and she is doing very well, she is fine!  She said she would post here soon!

It has been raining men here tonight....I am overwhelmed. 

Doc and I chatted earlier, he is stressed and tired out, didn't stay online long.  It seems he is waiting for me to ask if I can come over and I just won't do that.  I am traditional, and like to be asked out properly, lol!

Spoke with DJ this evening and finally told him I had to go, lol.  He wants to come up this week and take me to dinner, I suppose I will do it.  He told me which days he is free.  Says he is glad he has had me to talk to.  I should be a damn social worker!

Randy Andy was IMing me earlier, always says/types "honey" and "sweetheart" in his conversations to the point of nausea.  I was fiesty so I told him it irks me but he already knows this.  He asked if I wanted to come over tomorrow and cuddle.  Oh please, can I have a real man on a real date?  I am not going to go cuddle with some guy who only wants one thing from me.  He is nuts.

Jay signed online tonight and I made the first move.  He just got back from a trip with the kids and is going to file for divorce next week.  He then goes on to say he will be outta town this weekend, but will be around tomorrow and later in the week.  So, I was a bitch and said "I don't quite know what to say to that."  LOL  What have I got to lose?  Told you his ass would show up, right when I nearly forgot his last name and everything.  He explained that he would be around more if we wanted to chat.  Since when have we "chatted?"  He wrote me off a month ago to the day for all of his personal reasons.  I should just tell him it has nearly killed me, and maybe to leave me alone.  Shit, I need to loosen up, he was just trying to be nice.  Dammit all.

Mr. Good Zip Code was online the same time as Jay, and both were giving me details of filing for their divorces.  My eyes were crossed.  Why can't someone help ME out, lol!  That's why I am HERE, with my GFs.

Stone, ah Mr. Stone Cold......Exciting prospect that's for sure, since he is pos.  We talked on the phone until the wee hours of the morning last night.  He went to the fair with his child and rang the bell with the sledge hammer thing.  Hee-hee!  We spoke again this evening at length and I gave him my timeline of shit, my Bad Luck 2007 story, starting with my ex crying to me last December and then dumping me.  I really hope Stone and I click, because if we do, it has the potential to be great!  We like talking on the phone but I am just nervous about meeting him.  Now why am I so nervous about meeting a pos guy?  There should be no reason to feel this way whatsoever!  Or should there be?  Oh I am so confused, this is new for me, meeting someone pos.   Hell, the disclosure thing is out of the way already, so to speak!  Maybe I am afraid of being vulnerable, since I have nothing to hide with him, really.   He says he doesn't smile much, but I can hear him smiling on the phone.  I'm glad that we have each other to talk to about HIV.  I have only met one pos person in my life before.  Wish me luck!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 14, 2007, 01:40:19 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #87 on: August 14, 2007, 05:25:58 AM »
mmm, from all these guys I must say I am rooting for Stone Cold (why is he called that again?). Not b/c he is +, just cos he sounds cool and seems to have most potential... # 2 I root for Doc, b/c it sounds like he is out of sorts trying to get you without outright propositioning you. I mean he already asked you & he declined. He sounds like a big, slightly geeky and very smart boy to me, a little clumsy but with good heart/intentions. I don't know could be just intuition and I may be wrong. # 3 on the countdown is DJ, simply b/c he is new and fresh on the scene. For sentimental reasons, Jay is my # 4. He is alright, I just have something against these guys that are still entrenched in a divorce... but at least he's seperating. He just sounds too much about "me myself and I" right now, not outright mean but very self centered, which is understandable, I mean in his favor he is going through a lot and at least trying to show some interest. And again at the last place comes Randy, who can go cuddle with his right hand, hehe.

ML if you keep this up you will have to start posting Excel files...

I am not going to London for the PN, I was going anyway, they knew that so they booked the appointment for me. I will be meeting some women from the forums too, that's so cool.

The only uncool thing is I am awfully tired and not that well, but I will try to take things slow...

Group hug!
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #88 on: August 14, 2007, 11:28:02 AM »
Hey Girls-

Whew, I have to say it me awhile to read through this thread...I've missed a lot. 

First off-  Queenie, I didn't get your PM....It said I had three messages but I only got one for Cindy (which I really appreciate from everyone).  I always have issues with messages here.  I hope you are feeling better.  Sounds like you've been ill'n?

You girls make me laugh so hard.  I love that herpes.com stuck because it makes me laugh out loud every time I see it.

Drag-  That's excellent what your parents are doing for you, sending you London....And is marriage in your near future?

And Cindy, I'm sitting on my hands anxiously waiting for the "Day of Doc's disclosure"  My goodness the stress of it all.

Ok, so this story.  About 3 weeks ago I hit a depression so hard, a dark place that I was forcing myself everyday just to go to work everyday.  Sleeping long hours etc.  I'm trying to sell my house, which I still share with my exhusband.  We are on friendly terms but still, we both need to move cause he can really get under my skin.   Jack's tried several times to come back into my life and that alone is was difficult staying strong and keeping him away. This is where things get interesting.
About a week ago, I was at my dog park.  My friend, Ian, invited me over his house for a bbq.  It seems its the happening place this summer.  Ian's always inviting me out but always declined.  He's a bit abrasive and says some things that are so over the top. Listen to this, we once started talking about AIDS and said, "I never would drink from the same bottle of beer with someone diseased.  I practically left the dog park that day crying or ready to kick his ass.  My two other girlfriends (who know) just couldn't believe he would say that.  While you all recover from that one let me profile him:
 He's south african (british colony) and has lived in the states since he was 22.  He owns two great danes and just loves animals in general.
Anyway, time had passed since that comment and my girlfriends convinced me to go to his house that saturday.  They were trying to tell me he was much different and said things for the sake of getting people's reaction.   STill???? reaction.

Ok-  So that saturday I went over and I was the only one there.  He lives in a cottage that over looks the bay on a cliff.  Its very beautiful and kind of surprising.  He was different.  I've never met anyone like him as far as being such a gracious host and great friend (at least that's what everyone was telling me).  Later that evening, and a couple of drinks later he asks if he can kiss me.  I said no. I still had that image of that day he said that awful thing.  Still I wanted to kiss him,  but I just knew getting involved on any level would have to lead to disclosure and I was not in the place to deal with it.  So he is persistent.  He tells me he's been in love with me since the very first day at the park, which he's told me before but I took as a joke plus I was always involved.  But the HIV comment would be a real deal breaker.

Finally, I tell him that I just can't be with him.  He wanted to know why, just needed.  I said, "there's something about me you need to know"....and in the back of my head i'm thinking OK FUCKER- you will be so ashamed and was ready to have glass in hand -drink in face.  The drama in my head is completed it all for me.  He replies, "anything, anything you've done just doesnt' matter, I really love you, I always have!!!!  I said, "IT's not what I've done...its its......(and i stopped and sighed) This was tough....just because  I really had no clue as to what his reaction would be.  He said in a serious calm voice, "I don't care, I don't care I don't care, I really love you,  I just want to be with you every moment I can."  Not what I was expecting.  And he said, this is me the real me....I always just try to get a rise from people at the dog park. But you should know now that it's not true. 
The nice thing is that he lives very simply.  He was raised in an aristocratic family where the women are put on pedestals.  And it's very evident.  The past week I have been lots of time really getting to know him and I am happy. 

Three weeks ago I was ready to find a bridge with my name on it...but my spirit kept telling me..."we all go through bad seasons and you'll get through this."

I can really say now "life is good".

I promise not to be stranger!  Hope you all are well my cyber girlfriends.

God Speed

Cammie







« Last Edit: August 14, 2007, 11:32:37 AM by camille07 »

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #89 on: August 14, 2007, 11:51:44 AM »
Wow, wow, triple wow, Camille!!!

God, no one's ever declared love for me like that, let alone some hot guy with 2 great danes and a house on a cliff!

What a whirlwind!

So his reaction to the disclosure was basically " love you no matter what". What on God's earth could be more amazing?!

Wishing you guys all the best!!!!


PS regarding your question

is marriage in your near future?

Not if my boyfriend has anything to say about it ...  ;D

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #90 on: August 14, 2007, 12:43:25 PM »
About a week ago, I was at my dog park.  My friend, Ian, invited me over his house for a bbq. 

Ok-  So that saturday I went over and I was the only one there.  He lives in a cottage that over looks the bay on a cliff.  Its very beautiful and kind of surprising.  He was different.  I've never met anyone like him as far as being such a gracious host and great friend (at least that's what everyone was telling me). 

Hi Camille~

...and we all thought Mr. Sports Car Guy from the cheesy bar drove you off into the sunset for a bit, lol!  Glad to hear about Ian.  I had a hunch that there was a man in your life, but I didn't want to jinx you.  Also, for a second there I thought you had stopped yourself short of disclosing, and had to read your post again. 

Wow, and it all worked out for you.  Now you can breathe and see where this goes.  I often see disclosure as me sitting on a fence, with the guy of my dreams standing down in one yard, looking up at me.  If he is OK with my status, I fall off the fence and into his arms.  If he isn't OK with it, I tip over into the empty yard next door, only to land on my head, get up shake it off and try again with someone new.

I only wish it were that simple!  I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

Drag~  I like how you numbered the guys for me, lol!  Yes, GFs, I am wondering "What's up, Doc" myself.  He has had some personal/business shit hit the fan recently, it just happened this past weekend, so I feel like I shouldn't intrude.  I'm also trying to abide by Big Sis Em's rule, of letting Doc invite me over.  All he seems to be doing is saying "I'll leave the door open for you...."

As far as Stone, lol, you crack me up, but its OK cause you're not in the states here.  Google "Stone Cold Steve Austin" and that's who Stone says he resembles.  People have told him that.  He works out, is very muscular, with a shaved head, lol.  You'll get a kick out of the pictures you find online!  Can you just imagine?  Giggle giggle!

DJ just emailed me and we are on for tonight.  He is a nice guy, but has connections to my Dad's employee, so I'm a little nervous.  Cart way before the horse there, so I should just go and have a good time.  He wants to come pick me up....in his Porche....in the hood I live in....with no furniture on my first floor, lol (ex took it all, it was his anyway, I had sold mine).  I am a little embarrassed but what the hell.  I feel like this guy is a friend, which is nice, cause I'm not too wound up over seeing him.  We already had the ice-breaker Saturday at my parents' house.  I keep wondering if he is a smoker, that stuff drives me nuts, no offense to those of you who smoke.  It just makes me sick to my stomach and makes it difficult to breathe sometimes.  DJ was smoking at the party but maybe he's one of those types who smokes when he drinks, lol.

I'll post more tonight, I keep thinking about Stone, though.  He's at work today, while I sit home wondering if I'll ever be employed again......sigh.

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 14, 2007, 12:46:29 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #91 on: August 14, 2007, 01:37:07 PM »
Mr. Sports car pales greatly in comparison to Ian.  But I'm still glad I went on a blind date as nerve wracking.  Its about taking risks.  I'm pretty sure I found an amazing guy, so no blind dates or cheesy bars....for a while...ok, maybe a cheesy bar.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #92 on: August 14, 2007, 01:43:07 PM »
OK, so I have to add a little more here.....DJ and I have sent a few emails back in forth here recently to plan for tonight.  He goes on to say that I shouldn't be bashful about where I pick to go to dinner...Pick anything I want.  He wants to wine and dine me, but I am his first date since he's been separated.  I don't need things to go to the Nth level, but it is sweet, how he isn't shy about being romantic.  I just hope he's not a leg-humper, lol, I am hoping he is just excited about getting out and doing something with someone new.  (No, not THAT, GFs, lol....!)  His email read something like, "I will spare no expense because I want you to be happy!  Also I will pick you up at your place, I'm kinda old fashioned. That is the proper thing to do ! Let me know. Your wish is My command !!"

Oh dear God.  

Why do I hold back and doubt myself so damn much?  (Gee, that's not hard to figure out, is it?.....) Someone just knock me on my head and tell me to go for it with one of these men already!  That's all I want, is to be in a loving relationship with someone.  I don't need it, I just want it, as I know I have a lot to give.

Stone, look out, here I come, baby........shit.

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #93 on: August 14, 2007, 09:22:40 PM »
Hey Ladies,

I haven't said much here lately just been observing mostly. I have a lil to report but since I still am not feeling too well I will try to keep it short. I haven't heard from Boo since the night I was hugging the toilet. I really haven't had the energy to feel any kind of way about it. I'm at the point I am just like whatever, if he contacts me great, if he doesn't then I guess it's 2 tears in a bucket. He says he's still interested but to me actions speak louder than words and we did exchange numbers, I just refuse to be the first one to call.

I did hear from the Indian, T today which was actually a pleasant surprise. He was online at work. He works at an art gallery in North Carolina. I feel for him. He has an ex who is bi-polar, who he has left but she continues to harass him. She calls the police on him for no reason and has even come to his job screaming he is poz. The man is still paying bills in a house he doesn't even live in. Bi-polar or not she is a BITCH.

I also have 2 leg humpers who really are starting to get on my last nerve. The first one is James who is from NY. We have been chatting online for about a few weeks and he is already claiming feelings. I have told him that I think he is obsessive because I don't see how it is possible for him to develop feelings for me in such a short time and having not even met me. He tries to put logic to it but I still shoot it down. He got pissy with me last night because I was in an IM with Moonlight and would not stop talking to her to talk to him. Then if I don't respond fast enough he wants to blow up the IM by laying on the damn buzz button. I told him it was irritating and to stop. He did the same thing today when I was talking to a friend on the phone today. He kept buzzing and asking if I am still on the phone. GFs, he had me so riled I was literally cussing him out in the IM. If I wasn't doing him a favor that he asked of me, I would be done. I think I will still be done after the favor is over but the thing is we will end up meeting. I had to tell him today that we are friends, he seem to think it was more than that, asking if I told my son about him. Um, er, NO. Like I told him, why should I tell my son anything, we are not dating, bf and gf, none of that, just friends. He even tried to pull that he knows he's gonna be in love when he sees me....Sorry dude, I don't believe in love at first sight. And I sure as hell don't like someone trying to isolate me from my friends.

The other humper is Michael. He is not that bad, his problem is that he doesn't like to talk much and when he does say something, it's a repeat of question he has already asked. He was on today but was actually decent when I told him that I am not feeling well.

That's all I have to report from my bizarre little world. I think I am at the point that I don't think I will ever find love or even someone that is compatible. I mean, hey, look at Boo, we have just about everything in common and at this point I feel things are stagnant. I guess I am destined to be alone and miserable. The story of my life.  :'(  :'(  :'(
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline bluelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #94 on: August 14, 2007, 09:31:33 PM »
Ok l have to ask this.

What the hell is a leg humper?

Blue who now knows she does not get out as much as she thought she did.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2007, 11:50:23 PM by bluelove »

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #95 on: August 14, 2007, 10:55:23 PM »
Ya know when you go to a friend's house and their horny dog wraps its legs around your leg and, in a sexed out frenzy, humps, rubs, and wishes he were screwing--your leg? Well, Queen is saying these e-gentlemen callers are the human equivalent of a leg-humping dog.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #96 on: August 14, 2007, 11:21:20 PM »
Ya know when you go to a friend's house and their horny dog wraps its legs around your leg and, in a sexed out frenzy, humps, rubs, and wishes he were screwing--your leg? Well, Queen is saying these e-gentlemen callers are the human equivalent of a leg-humping dog.

Exactly.....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #97 on: August 15, 2007, 12:26:24 AM »
Hi Ladies

Wont be able to write for the next day or so.  I have my nephew and we are planning to have fun, fun, fun.  Tomorrow is Marine World so that should be fun and exhausting.  Well, just an update heard from Cop#1 today and wanted to know why I had not called him and I told him that I was trying to give him his space to do what he needed.  Plus I told him that I figured since he did not text me back last week about dinner, that he was needing his space.  He told me that he did text me back and said he could not do it on Monday since he needed to talk to the Misses but could on Tuesday.  I never got that message and he figured I was mad that he needed to talk to the Misses so he wanted to give me my space.  But I told him that I never got it.  So he wants to try and do dinner next week, we will see.  Not sure that I want to, but on the other hand really want to have a heart to heart with him so I can let my heart move on.  Now Cop#2 keeps texting me everyday telling me he misses me and wants to come and see me.   Now that would be fine in dandy but he does not know about my status and not sure if I should tell him before he comes down or not.  I told him that I would rather come and see him since I can kill two birds with one stone and see my best friend.  I guess I would just hate to have him drive 6 hours and not be OK with me being +.   I would feel bad that he came all of this way.    Hope all of you are doing well.  Talk to you guys soon.

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #98 on: August 15, 2007, 12:51:35 AM »
Leg humpers can also be mental ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #99 on: August 15, 2007, 05:55:00 AM »
I went out with DJ, got home at 1130pm last night, and then called Stone.

Um, I just got off the phone with Stone, after six hours.

More after I get sleep.........lol.  And Mr. Good Zip Code wants to know if I have plans tonight.  Wonder if he wants to catch Live, Counting Crows and Collective Soul at the baseball stadium?  Hmmmmm.

Sustiva is kickin and I can't think.  More later, much later, lol.

I hear birds chirping and the sun is comiing up.......oh man.
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #100 on: August 15, 2007, 07:53:23 AM »
Six hoooooooooouuurrrrrrrrrrssssssss, birds chiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrping, oh that is painful to read---reminds me of all nighters on terms papers, horrific deadlines, my spine aches to read it. However, on a sunny, SNAPS TO YOU CINDY, note that is the kind of lengthy call that might lead to something great! Goodie for you. Now, you just need to get a call back from your interviewers to put a cherry on the sundae!!!!

Like Sunseeker, I won't be able to write for a while because of some travel for a mini-family reunion. I shall miss the chatter and can likely look forward to a novelette by the time I log on again. This continues to be a fun and interesting read. And, it's great to have new women joining in.

I haven't written for a while, part wrist wreck, part timing, but I wanted to note that I was moved to read of the women whom Drag met at the retreat. I can't help but wonder if we might be able to, over time, become an effective group to address an issue crying out stateside.

While it would be nice to get involved in such a horrifically affected group's affairs, it's logistically tough. Nevertheless, to read such an inspiring, thank-your-lucky-star-for-where-you-are story, begs for action where it can be best addressed. I'm glad Drag shared her journey. I find female genital mutilation one of the most incredibly egregious methods of controlling women (in addition to rapes, beatings and killings) permitted to exist. If you've never read an account by a woman who tells the tale of how it is done, I suggest you do so. Your mouth will go dry. Your heart will pound. Your anger will rise along with your sadness that any woman should suffer this way.

While these threads provide outlet for our angst, emotions, complete bewilderment and successes, I can see where we might have an Action Thread some day, just like I can see us meeting somewhere.

Have a great week all!
Em


Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #101 on: August 15, 2007, 07:57:19 AM »
Have a safe journey and a fun time Em!
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #102 on: August 15, 2007, 08:03:58 AM »
Thank you, Drag!! :-*

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #103 on: August 15, 2007, 09:35:59 AM »
Six hoooooooooouuurrrrrrrrrrssssssss, birds chiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrping, oh that is painful to read---reminds me of all nighters on terms papers, horrific deadlines, my spine aches to read it. However, on a sunny, SNAPS TO YOU CINDY, note that is the kind of lengthy call that might lead to something great! Goodie for you. Now, you just need to get a call back from your interviewers to put a cherry on the sundae!!!!

Like Sunseeker, I won't be able to write for a while because of some travel for a mini-family reunion. I shall miss the chatter and can likely look forward to a novelette by the time I log on again. This continues to be a fun and interesting read. And, it's great to have new women joining in.

I haven't written for a while, part wrist wreck, part timing, but I wanted to note that I was moved to read of the women whom Drag met at the retreat. I can't help but wonder if we might be able to, over time, become an effective group to address an issue crying out stateside.

While it would be nice to get involved in such a horrifically affected group's affairs, it's logistically tough. Nevertheless, to read such an inspiring, thank-your-lucky-star-for-where-you-are story, begs for action where it can be best addressed. I'm glad Drag shared her journey. I find female genital mutilation one of the most incredibly egregious methods of controlling women (in addition to rapes, beatings and killings) permitted to exist. If you've never read an account by a woman who tells the tale of how it is done, I suggest you do so. Your mouth will go dry. Your heart will pound. Your anger will rise along with your sadness that any woman should suffer this way.

While these threads provide outlet for our angst, emotions, complete bewilderment and successes, I can see where we might have an Action Thread some day, just like I can see us meeting somewhere.

Have a great week all!
Em


                                                                                      I would like to see us meet somewhere, too. Right now, it's just a wish, I can't even afford to go AM2007, but maybe someday.      Em, i have read a story of what they do to these women and it's horrible.   really makes me grateful to live where I do .                          Camille, hope things work out . ML, hope things work out for you as well. We all deserve to be happy.                                             Bluelove,bout time you came back. Glad to see you


M.  Wonder if he wants to catch Live, Counting Crows and Collective Soul at the baseball stadium?  Hmmmmm.
.
                                                                                   damn, ML. I wish we were closer, I would go. We coulld dress like Goddesses and have a great time flirting and collecting phone #'s. Oh, well.    Love ya'll.   Cristy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #104 on: August 15, 2007, 09:56:43 AM »
I got you beat, Moonlight.....Yes, you had the date but I have been online with Boo all night since I spoke to you and said I was going to bed which I think was 11 something. We started out using IMs to chat but switched over to using a mic on yahoo. And guess what? I am still talking to him now as I type this here. Woooo Hooooo, I'm getting a much needed Boo fix.... ;D When I do lay my head down, I will crash and burn...Maybe my patience has paid off. Not sure if you will hear anymore from me today cause I might be sleep but just wanted you all to know. I would say Good Night but it's morning.... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #105 on: August 15, 2007, 02:04:02 PM »
I got you beat, Moonlight.....Yes, you had the date but I have been online with Boo all night since I spoke to you and said I was going to bed which I think was 11 something. We started out using IMs to chat but switched over to using a mic on yahoo. And guess what? I am still talking to him now as I type this here. Woooo Hooooo, I'm getting a much needed Boo fix.... ;D When I do lay my head down, I will crash and burn...Maybe my patience has paid off. Not sure if you will hear anymore from me today cause I might be sleep but just wanted you all to know. I would say Good Night but it's morning.... ;D

Hi Queen~  Yes, we hung up quite late and I felt like saying "Good Morning."  Must be some good vibes going around if you and I were on with these guys so late -- and they are both pos guys!  WHAT a relief! 

I just got up at 1245pm, and have never slept that late.  Cheech and I had pancakes.  I feel bad cause Stone had a big day at work today, but I kept asking him all night long, if he had to go and he kept saying "One more minute...."  LOL  Yes, you and I certainly had our fixes, YOU and BOO, especially.  I want all of the details tonight because you know we're gonna be wide awake at 2am, GF!

The date with DJ last night was nice and he is funny, but a little eager.  He is young and hasn't been on a date in 15 years.  Has been with one woman and in a marriage since he was 19 or so.  He emailed and said he had a great time, but who knows?  The thought of disclosing to anyone now really is a pain in my ass.  None of the guys seem worthy, they all have something better to do with their time.  DJ is definitely not at the top of my list, it was just a friendly date, in my opinion. 

Cristy~ Mr. Good Zip Code DID invite me to the Live/Counting Crows/Collective Soul concert.  It starts at 630pm on the baseball infield here in town.  Its supposed to be 95 degrees today!  I have to remember to wear sunblock, even on the part in my hair, lol!  I haven't talked to Zip  directly but I am going to plan to go.  He only works a few minutes from my house, and the stadium is right here.  What the hell, right?  I think its funny how Dragonette totally didn't list him in her "guy order" in the other post.  He is kinda goofy, but I love my music and it should be a good time!

Em~  Going to miss not seeing you here for a bit!  Yes, I have read stories of the unfortunate women who have been mutilated.  Very, very moving and intense to learn about, like the ultimate horror of horrors.  I would love so much to do something like Drag is doing, but YES, DO IT HERE IN THE USA where no one speaks about this damn virus.  I have tried emailing "Lisa" with the ferret on the Forums.  She had a great activist post about marching in DC, but I have never heard back.  I don't even know where to get started.

Hi  bluelove~  Have to chuckle at you, about the leg-humper thing.  Its a guy...that you...... just..... can't.........shake!  LOL  Cue the song "Desperado" by The Eagles......lol.  Nice to meet you, and yes we have a lot more ladies here now, very nice to see all of you.  I may need to take a balcony seat and eat some gummy bears soon.

Gonna go slam in the pit some tonight!  Oh and Queen, ADAP doesn't cover my test strips, so now I am using an old meter with old test strips, waiting for Medco by mail, which sometimes takes forever.  And $100 that I don't have!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 15, 2007, 02:11:13 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #106 on: August 15, 2007, 07:54:47 PM »
Well, I thought I was going to crash and burn. I ended up going to sleep at 4 this afternoon and only slept for a few hours.....

Em--- Do have fun with the reunion. Maybe the break will help your wrist. And it prolly will be a mini novel when you get back.

Moonlight-- My doctor's office is working on getting approval for lantus pen. Still been testing the sugar, last time just at 7, it was 113 but the only thing I had eaten was sandwich and had a few pepsis. But I hate taking my pills when it is low like that because it always ends dropping my sugar too low. It also seems the only way my fingers give up blood is if I run them under hot water like you said...OMG, last night I had stuck myself like 6 times...Next time maybe I need to get Dracula to draw.... ;D

On a final note, I think I may be in trouble... :(  I was actually trying to do a favor for someone but something just doesn't seem right. I really don't want to go into detail here about it. I may just be worrying for nothing but I will see after Wednesday of next week.

Now that I made my sleeping pattern all backwards, I may be up for a loooooooooooong time.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #107 on: August 16, 2007, 07:55:46 PM »
Damn, Did everyone fall asleep? I know we have 2 that are vacations and what not. Another has kinda been silenced so to speak, won't go into detail on that one but she knows who she is... ;D And for those of you new to posting on the thread, what happened? I was following the story and it just stopped....Come back, follow the light, throw breadcrumbs but gimme something damn it!!!!!

I guess I will go on with my saga....I didn't talk to Boo yesterday at all but did receive offline IM letting me know that he will try to get on a little later. Wooooo Hoooooooo, I think he is catching on now about staying in touch. I'm hoping I will talk to him later.

The leg humpers have been kinda quiet lately which believe me I am grateful for. Otherwise it has been a somewhat uneventful day. To update about the lantus pen, my doctor's office finally got authorization from the insurance company for me to get the insulin cartridges and the needle for the pen but only for a year. I guess I should be grateful for it being a year but wondering what am I suppose to do after the year is up, try for authorization again?

Moonlight------ I hope things work out with you and Stone cause you seem really happy about him. As for other things, we will discuss that in Yahooland......

Now I have bumped this up in honor of Em, who is on vacation. I say we keep it going, she is expecting to have something to read when she gets back. I don't want to disappoint her... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #108 on: August 16, 2007, 08:51:49 PM »
LOL! Not much to talk about here. Getting ready to start the new school year, I'm a teacher, and have been SO busy with that. I too have missed the updates... ;D

I hope everyone is enjoying their vacations!

Andrea

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #109 on: August 16, 2007, 09:06:46 PM »
Hey Queen, i must have missed something, who has been silenced and why?   Not a whole lot new, I have gotten 3 messages and 2 flirts off poz in the last few hours today. No activity for a week, then today, boom, all over the place.     Glad to hear you and Boo are talking, hope it works out for you.                                                                   ML, did you have fun at the concert. I would have loved to see them. I like all those bands. I do have Ozzfest tickets for August 28th but haven't decided if I can afford to miss work and go. If not, I'll give them to my cousin or something.      Ladies, tell me something. Does it make you nervous when the man's picture is prettier than yours or it looks like Glamour Shot. just wondering.    i miss Em and hope she's having fun.  Have a good night.  Cristy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #110 on: August 16, 2007, 10:37:54 PM »
Cristy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~

A GLAM SHOT MEANS HE IS A SCAMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!  BLOCK HIS ASS!  LOL

OK, here I am, always posting way too much info!  I am excited about Stone!  He definitely looks like a "bad boy," but if he really IS one, its not going to work.  I have been taking little notes during our phone conversations, as we all do, and I am just telling myself to lighten up.  If anything, I have a poz friend who is only 17 miles away.  Shit..... who am I kidding?  I want this guy to pick me up and carry me off into the sunset, God knows he's big enough to do that, but I am afraid of getting my hopes up again.  All I can do is meet him and see if we "click."  I just feel that so much more is riding on this date, that the stakes are so much higher because we are both pos.  That fact alone gives everything a certain level of vulnerability.  Sure, it makes things easier, but still, I am nervous and excited all at once!  Oh dammit!  

I have no idea what to do on our date tomorrow.  I guess dinner somewhere or maybe hang out in the park and just talk.  I mean I have only met one pos guy recently and the conversation got pretty deep.  I like that stuff.  An automatic "bonding" of sorts.  Crap, I just hope that Stone and I have the same lifestyles, the same background and upbringing, that's what usu works best for me.  He is a "DC native" like me, so I like that in itself.  Is this just me trying to deny myself someone good in my life again?  I am my own worst critic, feeling unworthy, wondering if I can take a guy home to Mom and Dad.....I know, its my life, I can do whatever the hell I want!  Why not live my dreams, right?

OK, I have a leg-humper  (bluelove, take notes, GF).  DJ from my parents' party drove 60 miles one way on a weeknight and took me to dinner Tuesday night.  Nice guy, nice conversation, sense of humor, a gentleman with manners, BUT!   A HUMPER!  He emailed me once yest and as soon as I replied and thanked him for dinner, he called me.  I didn't answer.  He sent 2 more emails, and I didn't reply.  Today, I emailed to reply to yest, and as soon as I did, the phone rings.  I didn't answer.  He emailed two more times.  I called later and he was going to an appt at 2pm.  At 2:30pm he calls, and I don't answer.  He calls at 6pm and I don't answer.  Can you tell I am trying to steer him away from the phone so I don't get stuck?  He is way too eager, only 2 months separated.  He emails right before 9pm and I reply before he leaves work.  He emailed to say I could call him tonight!  Yeah, NO SHIT, I got that part.....gheez!  I replied that I was going to watch a movie and rest my neck, which was the truth.  I can't blame the guy for being so eager -- he never has dated in the past fifteen years, just has had one relationship.  I need to move to greener pastures and leave this guy in the kiddie pool.....

Thoughts are definitely on Stone tonight!  :D


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« Last Edit: August 16, 2007, 10:47:00 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #111 on: August 16, 2007, 10:51:37 PM »
Christy~~

Maybe silenced was the wrong word to use. The person can still post but has to be careful of what is being said because certain people read this thread.....Geez, I am probably making the whole thing worse but believe the person is fine, not like she was in danger or anything.

Moonlight~~ Well, GF, drop him like a bad habit...What are you waiting for, leave him the Dear Jane email. Better that way than to just ignore him which would be easier I know. I'm sure everything will be fine after meeting Stone, you might become another MIA like Camille, who I am happy for.... ;D


Modified to add: Damn Moon, that's an old pic of Stone Cold, back when WCW was around. Where you get that? Not that it matters, he still looks the same. Might I suggest renting Stone Cold's movie The Condemed.. ;D
« Last Edit: August 16, 2007, 10:53:49 PM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #112 on: August 16, 2007, 11:15:29 PM »
hey girls

Nothing new here on the guy front.  Seems like everyone is moving right along.  Gee Moon I am surprised the DJ has not gotten the clue.  But maybe he will at some point.

Ok now to a serious question since I am freaking out.  I have had a cold sore that is almost healed yesterday in the morning My lip bleed a little bit and later in the morning or afternoon (cant remember) my 4 year old nephew drank off my bottle of water.  My cold sore went away pretty fast but cracked and that's what caused it to bleed.  It never oozed with anything in the past. i am not sure if I have anything to worry about and not sure if I should call my doctor.  Anyone with advise?  FREAKING OUT

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #113 on: August 17, 2007, 03:04:35 AM »
Hi Sun~

I have read about this plenty of times in the Forums, and I am pretty sure this is correct.  You may want to post this question in "Living With HIV" to get more answers.....but, I have read here from moderators and educated folk that the virus transmits the most "easily" when it is internal, i.e. intercourse.  The virus does not live long at all outside of the body.  For it to transmit to your nephew in the way that you described, there would have to be a lot of blood from you going directly into an open wound in his mouth.  In which case, blood would be everywhere from the both of you.  I am not an expert, and I hope a moderator jumps in here, but I am confident in saying that your nephew has no need to worry about catching HIV from you via the shared bottle. 

I will report this to the moderators for comment, just so we can be sure.

You don't need to worry!  I can hear Rapid Rod now saying, "Your nephew does not have the virus...."  He is famous for simple, one liners and some people just keep questioning modes of transmission over and over.  LOL

You're fine, your nephew is fine  :)

~Cindy
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Offline Ann

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #114 on: August 17, 2007, 05:26:34 AM »

Ok now to a serious question since I am freaking out.  I have had a cold sore that is almost healed yesterday in the morning My lip bleed a little bit and later in the morning or afternoon (cant remember) my 4 year old nephew drank off my bottle of water.  My cold sore went away pretty fast but cracked and that's what caused it to bleed.  It never oozed with anything in the past. i am not sure if I have anything to worry about and not sure if I should call my doctor.  Anyone with advise?  FREAKING OUT

Sun, relax. There is NO WAY the virus would be transmitted in this way. Hiv does NOT remain viable and able to infect after it's outside the body and hanging around on environmental surfaces - and a bottle qualifies as an environmental surface. Have a read through the HIV Transmission Lesson so you can be more up to date on transmission.

Basically, the only way that you would potentially infect another person is if you have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with them. Use condoms and you won't have to worry about that - check out the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

One thing you might want to be aware of, however, is that herpes (aka "cold sore") can sometimes be transmitted in this way. This is why such a huge proportion of the population gets cold sores - they're MUCH more contagious than hiv could ever hope to be.

But no, you have no hiv worries where this incident is concerned. Rest assured and enjoy your nephew!

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #115 on: August 17, 2007, 05:32:43 AM »
Sun~~~

I got your pm, sorry I wasn't on to answer you then but if was in regards to what you posted here then I would have to agree with Moonlight on this one. I am not a doctor but just like Moonlight said, I have seen other members and mods post that the virus has a hard time surviving out in the open. Considering it was a water bottle, I would say it's even more slim because even when you did drink from the bottle, the water from you drinking it would prolly dilute any blood that could/might have been there. I'm not sure if I am making sense or not. And there are other ways of getting cold sores, this may not even be because of hiv, but that's just my 2 cents. I think you would get a better response if this was posted in Living With section and since Moonlight notified the mods, it may get moved to there. Try to calm down and not freak out. I understand your concern but I don't think this is anything major.


Just now saw Ann's post while I was trying to reply. See, no worries, gf.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #116 on: August 17, 2007, 08:07:13 AM »
 Hello, ladies. Sunseeker , I know Ann and the other ladies answered this but there is no way your nephew could get HIV off your bottle, The virus dies almost immediately when exposed to air or water. I have a HIV- 4 YO and worried about these things. Do what Ann suggested and read the lessons, I find the more I know, the better I feel.                                                                                       Queen, thanks for the clarification. i will let it drop. , last thing I would want to do is cause any of my extended family problems.   Now on to Boo. Yah, the man has potential.  I really hope it works for you.                     ML, I could see how you might be nervous about Stone. Go on your date, have fun. maybe dinner and drinks. I hope that works as well.         Haven't heard anything back from that guy yet so it might not be a issue, Oh well, I always have my son, cats and Gummy Bears.  Love ya'll.  Cristy
« Last Edit: August 17, 2007, 11:32:23 AM by cjc »

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #117 on: August 17, 2007, 10:59:18 AM »
Hey Ladies-

I am quietly keeping up with all your dates and late night online excursions.  I've been super busy at work lately, lots of deadlines and much needed artwork. 

The only thing new with me is that Jack is trying desperately to get me back.  He really doesn't get it.  He wants one more chance, just one chance and it will all be different.  How many times have you heard that...LOL?!

I had a interesting night with Ian two nights ago.  I will have to give you the details tonight...but can't wait to hear the replies.

God Bless

Cammie

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #118 on: August 17, 2007, 02:49:54 PM »
THIS POST HAS BEEN ADDED FOR PURE ENTERTAINMENT VALUE ONLY

Hi GFs~

Well, I get this stupid-ass email from HUMPER (formerly known as DJ) around 5pm yest and I didn't even read it until 3am last night.  He goes on, at length, to suggest we get together AGAIN tonight (Fri) after he's just seen me on Tues and last Sat at my parents' party!  He says he wants to pull out all the stops, get dressed up and go to a really fancy restaurant.  After reading THAT, the hump turned into a double super-hump.  Back the fuck off, is what I felt like saying!  I can't breathe you stupid shit!  Gheez-O-flip!  LOL  I hate hearing my phone ring all the time, esp when someone has nothing to talk about, and esp when a guy is only just starting his separation.  So, he goes on to say that I shouldn't be bashful (shit, from these threads does it appear I have a problem with that?), take a chance, let him romance, wine and dine me. 

So, I am reading this all at 330am last night after getting off the phone with Stone (yummy.....) and think to myself....I had better respond to Humper now, so I don't have to deal with his shit all day on Friday.  Oh, and he told his doc (remember he's neg, knows nothing about me, but just had a regular check-up) all about me, and his doc said I am just what he needs?!?!?!?!?!? 

So I write back and it went something like this....letting him down easy...."I have been dating many men since January and keeping my eyes open to all possibilities.  Normally, I would have declined to give you my phone number last Saturday night, but just as you are, I am trying to change for the better after getting my heart broken.  I also don't want to see you rushing into something with me or anyone else given the newness of your separation.  I know you feel freedom, and you probably feel invincible, but not everyone is moving at your speed.  Especially me, LOL.  I have a host of health problems which I keep very private, and which take up a lot of my time to tend to.  You'd never know from looking at me what I am really going through.  So, I have learned to do things at my own pace for my health's sake.  I hope you can respect that and lay a little lower where I'm concerned.  I really do need my space.  I am just taking things one day at a time, and seeing you three times in one week is a bit much."

Of course, when I wake up today there is an email waiting from him.  He's trying to backpedal, like he had the entire thing planned......He writes:"No problem...I appreciate the honesty, That's all I ask ! I'm a real simple person, and honesty at this point in my life is of utmost importance !  I don't need any one else bull shitting me ! That's why I wrote what I did, because the missed phone calls, and delayed emails, and turn downs ! I already knew what You were going to write back, I just figured this would be the best way to get You to tell me the truth. So I will make You a deal, If You want to see me again... You call me, I will not call You, and I'm not going to ask again ! Thank You"

So even in this last email he is still a humper.  I felt like writing back, "So, if I had agreed to a fancy dinner you would have said it was just 'a test?' "  LOL  Or, I thought of writing, "Nice try with the backpedaling, but its not working."  I noticed he didn't mention one thing about my health probs that I touched on, he's too busy thinking about himself.  And he said "turn-downs" in the email?  Well, considering he asked me out again on Weds after I had just seen him on Tues, wtf did he expect?  Its too bad he was so eager, because that is a real turn-off for me.  He's a nice guy going through a rough time, but he just blew this to smithereens.

He's left the ball in my court, saying I can call HIM if I want to get together?

Sorry, Honey, GAME OVER.  You lose.

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 17, 2007, 02:53:41 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #119 on: August 17, 2007, 03:29:58 PM »
OMG, too funny, GFs!  I called my Mom and told her about Humper.  She asked, "What do you call him?  'Dog-licker'? "  She was getting leg-humper mixed up!

OMG, he has been downgraded to dog-licker now!  Mom and I were howling on the phone, calling each other dog licker!

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 17, 2007, 11:29:21 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #120 on: August 17, 2007, 09:12:26 PM »
Hello Ladies~~

I hope all is well with you. Camille it is good to see you post again and can't wait to hear about Ian. Tell Jack to take a flying leap. I have heard, the it'll be diff line so many times. It'll be good for a few days then right back how it was before....Kudos, girl...

Moonlight-- He is just a humper all the way around. He is just trying to be macho about it. I hope your date is going well tonight. I thank the Goddess for you and the advice you have given. You really saved me from what could have been a lot of shit.

Alert Alert Alert......

For you ladies that are on the Poz Personals, please beware of a man called Q4WESTY, he is a SCAMMER and I almost got caught up by him. He acts like he is really digging you then asks you to do him a favor, deposit a check in your account and send him the money. Oh, he offers you a little of the money but the majority you are suppose to send to him. He will send the check and it looks legit. I had my bank investigate it and come to find out, it was fake. The check made out to me was the sum of $4500.00. When I started asking questions, he would get defensive and try to say I'm trying to rip him off and even took it as far as threatening me and my son. I have reported him to poz personals. His name on Yahoo is James_Moore_113, I am sure it is not his real name. So ladies, please BEWARE.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #121 on: August 17, 2007, 11:18:50 PM »
Hello Ladies,
Wow, Queen, that guy sounds like a real "winner" ...not!!! Any man needing help depositing money isn't worth you time.....

Cindy,
I hope your date is going REALLY well tonight...can't wait to read all about it.
Cammie,
really great to hear from you again.. can't wait to read about Ian as well....Welcome back sweetie.
Sunseeker,
don't worry about the bottle...I worried as well but was reassured by my doc that everything is fine......

Much love, untill next time,
Nicole in California
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #122 on: August 17, 2007, 11:32:05 PM »
Cindy,  I hope your date is going REALLY well tonight...can't wait to read all about it.

Stone is yummy.  Consider this an intermission post, lol....he is here with me.  He is a very nice man!  :)

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #123 on: August 17, 2007, 11:35:29 PM »
Hi Ladies

Thanks for all of the advise regarding my nephew.  He is just the most important thing to me.

Moon I have to laugh about the DJ story.  My friend has the total leg humper.  This guy Tommy sends her cheesy pictures along with his texts messages asking her to meet him for a drink.  He has sent her various other text messages with pictures of him in 80's gym attire with his disco gold chain dangling from his VERY hairy chest.  Its so funny I have saved some of the texts so when I need a good laugh I can have it.

Queen-  Queen no worries about not getting my PM I was just very scared and  freaking out so I looked for someone that I felt comfortable with and had some history with.  So Thank you very much.  Thanks for the info on Q4Westy I will look out for him.  Speaking of scammers I have been talking to this guy on line who happens to live where my ex boyfriend lives.  I think that my ex created this profile to see if would respond back.  This guy says he is negative but his ex-girlfriend who died of cancer was positive.  The picture he has on line looks like a model picture from a magazine.  Not to mention he tells me that he is in South Africa doing work and will not be back for 3 weeks.  So I have been really cautious as to what I say to him and only time will tell if its my ex.  This guy says he will be back in 3 weeks and would like to meet when I get back.  So we will see so I guess a good lesson for all is to be careful out there.

Cammie-  Nice to meet you.  Its not often that I meet to many other cammies.  Everyone asks me if its short for something and I always tell them its just Kami. So nonetheless nice to meet you.

CJC-  Thank you for the information.  Being positive is still very new to me and I am learning all of the ins and outs .  I read the links that Ann sent and it was very helpful and informative.


Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #124 on: August 17, 2007, 11:59:01 PM »
Hey Y'all.....Moonlight got Stone and showing him her bedroom....lmao....She says they haven't kissed yet but I think Stone may just be the one for her. We'll just wait and see what she has to say. I pulled another all nighter with Boo last night. I'm waiting on him to log on tonight, sort of like a catch me if you can kinda thing. Also, I have been playing this game off of the playfirst website called Wedding Dash. If you have played any of the Diner Dash games then you know what it is like, if not you should try it.

As far as the scammer goes, I reported him on the personals and I even took it a step further and wrote to Dateline since they seem interested in predators...I have learned a lesson indeed. For the time being I think I am going to suspend my profile on the personals for awhile and just stick with my Boo. He has potential and we have a lot in common. We may live miles apart but I think he is worth the wait. Til next time ladies.... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #125 on: August 18, 2007, 12:19:44 AM »
Hi Queen

I am glad to hear about boo.  I have also been thinking of taking my profile off-line.  There are so many cheesy guys its not even funny not to mention there is really not anyone in my area.  Not sure how I feel about telling any more negative guys about my stauts so for now I will just hang out and wait.

K

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #126 on: August 18, 2007, 06:14:06 AM »
Hi GFs~

Stone just left.  Is that the sun rising?  LOL  I need to blow my candles out and get some sleep... ;)  What a night!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #127 on: August 18, 2007, 09:30:10 AM »
Hello ladies.  Queen , thanks for the warning. Glad you checked it out before you got screwed and not even a kiss.I really hope Boo works out for you.   ML, glad your date went well. Details girl, details. when you wake up that is.         Camille, queen is probably right. It never seems to change when they promise too. Try the new one, maybe he will be the love of your life. I hope so.                                  `
SS, glad to be of help. I know that my son is the reason I am still here, my whole world revolves around him and I want to keep him safe.He starts real school the 27th so if I come here crying about losing my baby, that's why.                                                                                                                      Okay, i am writing this guy in Tennessee and another in NC. Maybe one of them will work out. The one is Indian and drop dead gorgeous. the other is a country boy, not as pretty but we might have a lot in common. We'll see.   Love ya'll .   Cristy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #128 on: August 18, 2007, 11:40:56 AM »
Speaking of scammers I have been talking to this guy on line who happens to live where my ex boyfriend lives.  I think that my ex created this profile to see if would respond back.  This guy says he is negative but his ex-girlfriend who died of cancer was positive.  The picture he has on line looks like a model picture from a magazine.  Not to mention he tells me that he is in South Africa doing work and will not be back for 3 weeks.  So I have been really cautious as to what I say to him and only time will tell if its my ex.  This guy says he will be back in 3 weeks and would like to meet when I get back.  So we will see so I guess a good lesson for all is to be careful out there.

Sun~

This sounds like a scammer, not your exBF.  The VERY same line was used on me from a scammer back in June.  I am ready to have all of you give me the profile names of guys so that I can screen them for you!  Is the guy "in Africa"  (Hell-O, wake up GF...) using the name McPhlips or Dean McGuire?  Cause he tried to steal my heart in June and I turned his dumbass in.  Amazing how quickly they DON'T show up on IMs after that.....Has he written you poetry yet?  Don't fall for that shit. 

Who has the model Indian guy?  I tell you GFs, email me the profile names, cause they are everywhere, these scammers, like a bunch of roaches....Feel free to PM me profile names and websites where these vermin are.  I know in a sec if its bs......no, REALLY, I do.  I have references!  LOL   :D

I am awake much too soon after last night.  I mean this morning?  LOL  Feel like a truck hit me in the face, so I'm going to eat and go back to bed!  :D   So, this post doesn't count as "awake" just yet, lol!

Can I just say....Stone is one handsome MF.....omg.......:)

~Cindy


HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #129 on: August 18, 2007, 02:27:00 PM »
Thanks ML. Go back to  bed and give us all the juicy details when you get back up. I am fairly sure the guy  from Tennessee is okay, maybe a leg humper but not a scammer. i have the model Indian , too. I'll PM you his name if he turns out like that.I wonder  if it's the same one Queen was talking to for alittle while, probably not but  if so, then he would be out anyway.  No worries, I am pretty good at weeding out the bullshit ones on poz and in life. It's too short to put up with lies and games from men or anyone for that matter.                                  Love ya'll.      Cristy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #130 on: August 18, 2007, 09:15:36 PM »
Hello ladies.  Queen , thanks for the warning. Glad you checked it out before you got screwed and not even a kiss.I really hope Boo works out for you.   ML, glad your date went well. Details girl, details. when you wake up that is.         Camille, queen is probably right. It never seems to change when they promise too. Try the new one, maybe he will be the love of your life. I hope so.                                  `
SS, glad to be of help. I know that my son is the reason I am still here, my whole world revolves around him and I want to keep him safe.He starts real school the 27th so if I come here crying about losing my baby, that's why.                                                                                                                      Okay, i am writing this guy in Tennessee and another in NC. Maybe one of them will work out. The one is Indian and drop dead gorgeous. the other is a country boy, not as pretty but we might have a lot in common. We'll see.   Love ya'll .   Cristy


I think we got one in common, Christy. The one in NC, he works in an art gallery? Go back to some of my previous threads, if it is the same one he is a sweetheart. It sounds like it is...His name begins with the letter T and very hard to pronounce. Get back with me...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #131 on: August 18, 2007, 10:19:19 PM »
Hello Queen, i think you are correct. I sent you a PM.   Cristy

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #132 on: August 19, 2007, 12:10:13 AM »
Hi Moon

The guy who is think is scamming or maybe my ex is Dillion Ray West.  His screen name on poz is dillionwest and he is from Antioch Ca.  Check it out and let me know if its one in the same.  I am being very cautious since I am not sure who it is.  Let Me know  Thanks  Kam

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #133 on: August 19, 2007, 01:03:09 AM »
Way to go ladies...Keep pumping out the posts...I think Em would be proud and by the time she gets back she will have more than enough to read. And I would bet a whole lot to say. She's prolly gonna have quite a few wrist wrecks. I hope she took some pictures from her vacation that she can share.


LMAO@Moonlight.....Aren't we mighty quiet today....*snickers*...Can someone say REGROUP....And we're still waiting on details...After you work out those...ahem....kinks....Get back to us...

My scammer actually had the nerve to IM me and ask how I was doing...WTF? Took care of that and put his ass on ignore. He ought to be lucky he is wherever he is at or I'd put more than ignore on his ass.. >:( I wonder if Poz Personals will can his ass and if so, he really can come back by just creating another account. Sometimes I wish I was a hacker.....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #134 on: August 19, 2007, 01:04:05 AM »
Sunseeker,
I think you mentioned you were from Santa Cruz...I live in Concord.....and I work with a bunch of people from Antioch.....lol....small world after all...

Cindy,
I need details.....what happened.....????????????
Did the earth move......??????

waiting on every thread..
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #135 on: August 19, 2007, 01:32:45 AM »
Hi Nicole

Yes small world.  Well, who knows maybe on of these days we can meet.  I pass by Concord all of the time on my way to my sisters.  My ex boyfriend lives in Antioch and I have friends in Brentwood and Oakley.  So who knows maybe one of these days we can meet.  Where or what do you do for work?

Kam

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #136 on: August 19, 2007, 04:51:39 AM »
Hi GFs~

I am doing very well, Stone and I are spending tomorrow together, so I am looking forward to that!  I know I haven't put many details on here, but I think the 6am thing gives you an idea that we really enjoyed each other's company!  I am so glad he wants to see me again! 

Meanwhile, I got an email in the Personals here from "nicegreg4me" who wants to hear from me ASAP.  His profile almost looks real, he's listed in the phonebook (with a "Denise" but maybe they just never changed the listing after the divorce).  Like I said, everything almost looks real, he is in Arlington, but his email to me seemed to echo words used recently in the past from scammers.  It started out with "Sweety" spelled funny again, lol.  Here's the email....anyone get something like this?  Scammers never capitalize their "i" 's  and this guy has his language listed as English, you'd think there would be Spanish, too....

"Subject: Hope you get back to me sweetie Asap...
Sent: Aug 19, 2007 12:56 AM (FLID:)
Hello Sweety, I was surfing around profiles...and when i saw yours i have to stop by and say hi to you,cos your looking so cool and cute and i was wondering what was going on your mind right now!!!! Well i am Gregory by name but i like to be called Greg,i live in Arlington City in VA.I am 46 years and i am divorced over 10 years and i have a daughter of 13 years old named maria and she lives with me in my home. I am looking for a serious woman that i could spend the rest of my life with,a woman i can show 100% of my love,talk with,eat with,go out with and cuddle up with,i am tired of loneliness and i need a woman in my life. I am a Production Manager,i produce good artist and models.and i am an independent worker,i have my own office and am affiliated to other Entertainment Home's.i dont really have much time for dating,but i just decided to look around profiles and when i saw yours i decided to send you a message to see if i could just be lucky to meet you. I wouldnt mind to meet with you and get to know you more better in real life,but i promise to make out time to talk with you only if you could give me the chance to get to know you much more....Dont know how you might feel about this,but it will be my pleasure to meet you and get to know you much more better.you can get in touch with me with with my private email address or my yahoo chatting id.But am often online but could get on for you.... My Email Address is,gregtouma101@yahoo.com while my Yahoo Messenger is.... nicegreg4me...please just try and get me added to your yahoo messenger so we can get to have a chat OR you can mail me on my private e-mail Address if u dont have a yahoo Messenger... Please try and get back to me 'cos i really need a real woman that we both can be serious with each other and may be we could be more than just friends and get what we are both looking for..i mean get our HAPPINESS. Hope to read from you soonest Regards, Greg

Kam~  I don't recognize Dillon Ray West, but be careful!  He's got some serious bedhead in that pic.  Why would an HIV neg guy be here?  Waiting for results.....?

I am certainly not looking right now as I have Stone on the brain, but I wanted to make you GFs aware.  Let me know your thoughts....

Queen and Nic~  Quit picking on me!  LOL  You know what the hell happened!  I have stars in my eyes GFs!  Yes, the earth did move, and if you feel it shaking again Sunday night, smile and think of me!  Only time will tell with Stone, but I am happy, very happy!

Its been nice going from a Humper on Tuesday to a HUNK on Friday, lol!  I'll take the HUNK, please!

Also, LOL, I think HSN (Hot Short Norwegian) is feeling lonely, cause he asked why I didn't reply to an IM the other night?  Then when we did IM, he kinda didn't respond and came back an hour later like the conversation never had a lull in it....Weird.  This was Weds night I think.  So much has happened since then!   ;D   Funny thing is, HSN sent me a frikkin text at 1am Friday night when I was with Stone.  I didn't read it until 6am when Stone left.  I was turning on my cell in case he needed directions outta my hood, lol.  I get the text from HSN and its a picture of his willy!  LMAO  I laughed so hard and deleted it because, not only am I NOT interested in him anymore, but he sent the SAME pic to 4 phone numbers!  LMAO *SNORT*  We were all listed at the end of the text!   I figured the best I could do was not to reply at all, and let one of the dumb bitches go swoon him.  It ain't gonna be me......I got plenty of swooning to lavish on a certain man of late......  :P

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 19, 2007, 05:07:43 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #137 on: August 19, 2007, 07:48:18 AM »
Hello ladies. Queen sent you a PM.   ML, glad Stone is working out. SS and ZM, ya'll ought to meet for lunch or something. I got to meet a lady from here last month, only for a few hours but it was really nice and when she comes back to the US, I hope to have lunch with her again.                                                                                                   Haven't heard from my Tennessee guy today and The model is out. I heard from Tennessee yesterday and we might have quite a bit in common.     ML, I got the exact same one from Greg 4 u or whatever his screen name was, I thought scammer,too, it just feels off.So, watch out ladies.    Love ya'll.  Cristy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #138 on: August 19, 2007, 12:09:09 PM »
The scammer is nicegreg4me.  In the pic I saw he's outside holding the camera, taking the pic.  Short brown hair combed straight up.  I guess he looks Latino sort of, and to think he put someone's name in his ad.  I have a mind to call that phone number and see what the deal is.  I'm thinking the scammer just picked him out of the phone book at random, just to have a "name."

I am going to block him.  Just seeing the "style" of the letter I copied above makes me think he's full of shit.  The letter "i" not in caps, the words "Sweety" and "cos."  Its the same damn letter one of them sent a few weeks ago.....Sheesh!

I notified personals@poz.com about this one......

~Cindy
« Last Edit: August 19, 2007, 12:17:46 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #139 on: August 20, 2007, 01:42:24 AM »
I talked to Moonlight via Stone's house earlier. If I had to guess from the conversation we had, she was grinning like a chestshire cat... ;D Stone is new to the internet, I think cause she had to download yahoo for him...Now she'll be the one leaving at 6 am and that's if she leaves at all... ;)  Poor Cheech.... :( He's prolly wondering where the hell his mistress is....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #140 on: August 20, 2007, 05:28:17 AM »
Hi GFs~

Just got home from Stone's a little while ago.  My dog Cheech is fine, snoring here on the floor behind me.  He lives the life of a king, doggie door and all, so he was alright while I was gone.  Stone has a cool little dog, about 35lbs, and we think she has diabetes.  She drank a ton of water tonight, so he's gonna take her to the vet's.  I hope the poor little thing is alright.

Stone and I went to a nice dinner at a new restaurant that had flat screen TVs at every table, it was cool.  I forgot my damn leftovers at his place, though, lol.  His mother called and then asked him if I was staying the night, lol!  I think his family is happy that he has met a pos girl.  I know I can be good for him (hush, Queen, I know what you're thinking, GF, lol!).  We get along really well, we talk about everything, and then some (hush, Queen!).  LOL  Can't get into details here, but things are progressing nicely, just have to see what he wants down the road.  He's had a bit of bad luck in the love dept, so that can certainly change a person.  For now, I am happy to be dating him and I'm excited about the future!

No more neggies!!!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #141 on: August 20, 2007, 08:40:04 AM »
Hello Ladies.  Glad that Stone is working out for you , ML.Sounds like you are really enjoying yourself and that's the point.  I didn't get a message from Tennessee until after 10 yesterday and I was already in bed. I go to bed early anyway but yesterday layed down around 8;30 cause work was slammed and I was tired. But I am getting caught up after my month off and am glad for that.  later,   Cristy

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #142 on: August 20, 2007, 09:20:23 AM »
Hey Girls-

ML-  Glad to hear that thinks are really working out with Stone.  Sounds like you really enjoy spending time together.

I've been spending a lot time at Ian's which is beyond fun.  We had a bbq on Saturday and he is just such an amazing host.  He is constantly fawning over me and making such a fuss, its a nice change and no drama.  I stayed over and, well, 3 great danes can make it a challenge on the bed.

The next morning he left me at his house, cause he works with geriatric patients early on sunday mornings.  When I came down later he had left me a sealed card on this beautiful paper telling me how beautiful I was, magnificent and glorious.  Thank God I know this guy or I would think he was pulling my leg.  But can someone pinch me anyway?


Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #143 on: August 20, 2007, 11:03:24 AM »
Loving, lusting, lingering, lavishing, luring, leaving, lollygagging, lapping, leaping, loping, licking, laughing, lasting, loafing, lumping, limping...
listing.

the Cliff's Notes version of the combined posts of everyone's recent and enviable pursuits!!!!!!

Great to be back and reading of the happiness afoot. Also good to see that we've got new women joining us.

Em

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #144 on: August 20, 2007, 03:55:06 PM »
Well damn, that is some cliff notes, Em... ;D Camille, Ian sounds so romantic...*pinches you*..It is not a dream, gf.
Now Moonlight, why I gotta hush? What I do? I'm on the verge of saying I told you so.... ;D I'm thinking we need to start a part 4 or something cause we have over a hundred posts already.... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #145 on: August 20, 2007, 05:54:16 PM »
Hi GFs~

Well, I set a record today for sleeping in, almost 2pm, and it was only low blood sugar that woke my ass up.  I tested at 48!  Yikes!  Must have been all of that exercise last night!   ;D  My neck feels amazing, though!  I have been going to the chiropractor every Monday this entire summer, and today is the first day I am skipping a Monday.  Insurance is maxing out my visits, so I have one more before the price goes up.  So, I'll go in next Monday, the 27th. 

OMG, Stone just sent me his first IM, lol!  Also, I found out today that I didn't get the really good job I was holding out for, pisses me off! 

Em~  I like all of the verbs in your post, it certainly has been interesting here lately!  LOL  Glad to see you here!  :)

Camiile~  A big *PINCH* for you, but I don't think you need it.  Ian sounds like a wonderful man, and so romantic to boot?  You lucky, lucky, deserving girl, you!  :D

Cristy~  Glad to hear Tenn wrote you, we aren't all on the same schedule, so don't worry too much!  :D

Queen~ I was giving you a hard time with the "hush" cause you're the only one that has some of the juicy details!  LOL  ;)

Monsoon blowing in, gotta run!

Go to Dating Part IV...........

~Cindy



HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part III: Threads of Our Heads - The E-Soap for Poz Women
« Reply #146 on: August 22, 2007, 01:15:28 PM »
Ian is fantastic.  He spoils me rotten and he is romantic and passionate.  I told him to come to this site because there's a lot of information for someone's who is negative.  He asked if it was ok to read the forums...and I thought, I have nothing to hide...sure.

WELL-  about a half an hour later I send him an email saying "you may read some stuff that you'll find disturbing"...and I receive an email right back saying "Yeah I see that".

hmmmm. I thought.  Emails don't usually carry a voice but my gut told me he was really upset.  So I called him up asked him what was wrong?

Laughing, he said,  I'm an idiot.  By you creating aliases for all the other men in your life I thought there were other men that you were dating , "for a second a was really upset over this Ian guy".  LOL :D

I think I laughed all night about it.    Don't worry, he won't be reading it anymore...I sent over to thebody.com for information LOL :D

 


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