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Author Topic: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!  (Read 4192 times)

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Offline SecretKeeper

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
My husband just tested positive the middle of June.  He got his first test results back mid-July (actually, Friday the 13th - yuck) and they were much worse than he was expecting.  He's at 17%.  He doesn't get his next blood draw until the end of September and then we won't get those results until mid-October.  He doesn't ever say he's depressed - (God forbid he open up and tell anyone how he really feels or what he's actually thinking) - but I can tell there are days he's definately down in the dumps.  Does anyone have suggestions on what I can do or say - if anything - to "make it all better"?  He's also chosen not to disclose his status to several family members yet, even though I think some of them could be excellent sources of support.  Any suggestions for us newbies?

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2007, 01:29:05 AM »
Hi again Secret,

there is no urgency to disclose. Take a deep breath and you and him have plenty of time to think about who should be aware of his status. There are many consequences, good and bad, so what I suggest is that you spend time reading the forums, there are plenty of posts about this situation (you can click on "search" and type "disclosure family" for example). But this is not just about disclosure, it's about you and him feeling good starting this journey together, and once again there are many posts about couples living with hiv, so read along, and don't hesitate to ask questions :)

Does it get better? Yup. Knowledge & knowing that there are people out there that are available for you makes it way better. The first months after diagnosis are a bit insane, I agree  :-[

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2007, 07:39:03 AM »
Yeah, it eases up. It's like taking the double loop out and all you do, is go for the ride. To tell you the truth it gets boring. Not in a bad way though. Kinda like a new car exciting at first, then after a while it's just a car. If you are rich it's a fast sporty car.  ;)

Offline milker

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  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2007, 01:10:06 AM »
Kinda like a new car exciting at first, then after a while it's just a car. If you are rich it's a fast sporty car.  ;)
Um ok. Go back to your cage, Rapid :D

:D :D :D

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2007, 12:46:52 PM »
After the Storm...........the Calm..................the Sunshine

During the Calm , we take stock of the "damages"

During the Sunshine, we do the "repairs" and prepare for the next "storm"

AND we get better in handling the "storms" and better "skilled" in doing the "repairs"

Wd

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2007, 10:44:50 AM »
It has been over a year since hubby was diagnosed. I can tell you that it does get better. It has been one hell of a ride for sure, but things are pretty much back to normal. There are days that I don't even think about it anymore. I don't dwell on it like i did. I read the lessons here and learned all I could about HIV/AIDS.

Give him plenty of hugs and kisses and let him know that you are there for him and that you love him. Its good that you found us here. The people here are fantastic! They have saved my sanity more than once.

Wishing you and hubby the best!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline madbrain

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  • Posts: 1,208
  • No longer an active member
    • My personal site
Re: Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2007, 06:08:26 PM »
My husband just tested positive the middle of June.  He got his first test results back mid-July (actually, Friday the 13th - yuck) and they were much worse than he was expecting.  He's at 17%.  He doesn't get his next blood draw until the end of September and then we won't get those results until mid-October.  He doesn't ever say he's depressed - (God forbid he open up and tell anyone how he really feels or what he's actually thinking) - but I can tell there are days he's definately down in the dumps.  Does anyone have suggestions on what I can do or say - if anything - to "make it all better"?  He's also chosen not to disclose his status to several family members yet, even though I think some of them could be excellent sources of support.  Any suggestions for us newbies?

Well, if he doesn't open up, this may be hard. But he should discuss his mood with his doctor. Many HIV specialists are experienced in prescribing anti depressants since it's such a common thing for us, especially at the beginning. And there is less stigma than seeing a psychiatrist or a counselor. Both definitely helped for me. But it's still a pretty traumatic event regardless, and it's going to take time to adjust. I think opening up to family helped me too, but everyone is different.

Oh, and I got my poz result on November 1 2006, which is All saints' day, or the day of the day of the dead where I grew up  . How is that for symbolism ? Good thing I'm an atheist.

 


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