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Author Topic: I've found the man that infected me  (Read 5082 times)

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Offline blacky1980

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
I've found the man that infected me
« on: July 26, 2007, 10:02:17 PM »
Today I've receive a massage from god to go to the hiv clinic to complete the rest of my paperwork and to remind you I was wondering where I've got infected from, it's not my boyfriend because he tested negative.Then I said maybe it's my ex boyfriend and then I said it a never be him he's a good person. I was bringing in my paperwork and it was him I saw at the clinic and I was told he's been a patient for a long time. I look at him and I ask him why he did this to me without informing me and he was so ashamed to talk to me and they called my name to send my paperwork. I went to his house to get some closure but he did not answer the door. I was thanking god for revealing the person who infected me since I found out who it was and he was hiv poz for years. The hardest part is not knowing who infected you is one of the hardest parts. I am more positive than ever and I will just leave him in god's hand because he was wrong for not telling me. I am healthy and I will continue to stay healthy by doing the right thing for me and my kids. I just thought I would have to share this story with yall. I you do not know who infected you just pray and ask god to reveal that person to you. God Bless
Blacky1980

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2007, 10:58:07 PM »
He prolly felt guilty after what you said to him. I give you props for keeping your cool when discussing it. I also know who infected me. At first, I was willing to stay with him but he left me for the person I believe infected him. Then I became angry, infected and rejected, excuse my french but I was like WTF? After seeing him some years later and how he did not take care of himself, I am glad things turned out the way it did. I read your other post and I also believe that things happen for a reason. I am still waiting to see the reason. I am not an activist and am rather down low about sharing this information. It wasn't always this way but after trying to be open and continuously be rejected, I decided not to share or only tell those on a need to know basis. I hate being this way  but being honest just hurt too much. Before I forget, Welcome to the Forums.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2007, 04:07:36 AM »
you know that what he did is criminal and he can end up in jail if you complained.

maybe that's why he was so scared to open the door.

all the best to you,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

  • Guest
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2007, 04:32:26 AM »
hie blacky, i have to commend you for keeping your head. i think i would have freaked out. me i dont know who infected me. the guy i strongly suspected is in another country now and when i told him he denied and said he had tested negative and so i dont know. i still think he's lying but what can i do about it? i just let it go and decided to make the best of my life with this. confronting him or hating him wont do me any good. but its good u got a bit of closure

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,334
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2007, 08:06:49 AM »
I was told he's been a patient for a long time.

Blacky
Who told you this? Someone who worked for the clinic?
Em

Offline blacky1980

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2007, 08:27:11 AM »
Blacky
Who told you this? Someone who worked for the clinic?
Em
It's confidential and when Iasked him he did not realize that I knew it was a hiv clinic and he said he just comes to get a check up and he's an african man and they usually dont go to the doctor for nothing unless they really ill
Blacky1980

Offline blacky1980

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2007, 08:39:04 AM »
He prolly felt guilty after what you said to him. I give you props for keeping your cool when discussing it. I also know who infected me. At first, I was willing to stay with him but he left me for the person I believe infected him. Then I became angry, infected and rejected, excuse my french but I was like WTF? After seeing him some years later and how he did not take care of himself, I am glad things turned out the way it did. I read your other post and I also believe that things happen for a reason. I am still waiting to see the reason. I am not an activist and am rather down low about sharing this information. It wasn't always this way but after trying to be open and continuously be rejected, I decided not to share or only tell those on a need to know basis. I hate being this way  but being honest just hurt too much. Before I forget, Welcome to the Forums.
The best advice is to hang around some really positive people and normally the people who rejects you are not good anyway. You can go to any hiv clinic and you can still educate some people and you do not have to tell your status just make a difference. I understand what you are saying must people you probably tell is not educated about hiv. The reason you do not know the reason is because you said youre not an activist are youre not open when you share your story to someone who's going through this you might encourage them are maybe you might save that person's life I understand you dont have to tell the world you can just encourage people. I wish you the best sorry you feel this way when I found out I was depress for 3 weeks but I realize i had to be strong for my kids I guess that's why I am so strong. do you have any kids?
Blacky1980

Offline blacky1980

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2007, 08:42:47 AM »
hie blacky, i have to commend you for keeping your head. i think i would have freaked out. me i dont know who infected me. the guy i strongly suspected is in another country now and when i told him he denied and said he had tested negative and so i dont know. i still think he's lying but what can i do about it? i just let it go and decided to make the best of my life with this. confronting him or hating him wont do me any good. but its good u got a bit of closure
I dont hate him I just want to know why he know's I am a dedicated mom and a hard worker what about my kids life that's all I do not hold no grudges I just need answers that's all just to help me deal with being poz
Blacky1980

Offline Darknessfalls

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2007, 10:54:30 AM »
I have a strong idea it was my first boyfriend who gave it to me when I was 18.  I found out he was married and also cheating on me with another woman who wasn't his wife.  What a guy I tell you.  on the other hand when I was 22 I moved in with this guy and lived with him for 2 years.  to my surprised he left the country and married his niece who was only 16 at the time. I have not been able to contact them but I hope someday I can face them and ask them about it.  Closure sometimes I feel gives us some sort of relief.   
Hoshiko

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2007, 01:24:52 PM »
The best advice is to hang around some really positive people and normally the people who rejects you are not good anyway. You can go to any hiv clinic and you can still educate some people and you do not have to tell your status just make a difference. I understand what you are saying must people you probably tell is not educated about hiv. The reason you do not know the reason is because you said youre not an activist are youre not open when you share your story to someone who's going through this you might encourage them are maybe you might save that person's life I understand you dont have to tell the world you can just encourage people. I wish you the best sorry you feel this way when I found out I was depress for 3 weeks but I realize i had to be strong for my kids I guess that's why I am so strong. do you have any kids?

I do go to my local ASO for check ups. I do not feel they need my assistance there. I have opened up, I am on this site, I have my pic posted, which took me a long time to do. I speak very openly here on the forums and I'd like to believe that at least one of my posts helped someone. So, I am doing my part, maybe not on a grand scale like yourself but I am doing it. And you are right, most where I am is not educated on hiv and I do surround myself with positive people when I choose to socialize. Because before this site, I would not even discuss hiv with anyone other than my doctor. Right now I discuss with friends at times, does have friends who are + and I talk to my son about it, who is my primary concern. Some can't just jump in head first and I like to test the waters....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline blacky1980

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2007, 01:32:19 PM »
I am sorry I did not say it right what I've mean by positive is not hiv poz just positive attitudes and you did a brave thing by showing your pic I agree with you everybody' s different and reading your story do make a difference.
Blacky1980

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2007, 01:39:35 PM »
I am sorry I did not say it right what I've mean by positive is not hiv poz just positive attitudes and you did a brave thing by showing your pic I agree with you everybody' s different and reading your story do make a difference.


Well, you don't know me very well. You might as well call me Lil Miss Sunshine around here. I always try to be optimistic about things. And I am always trying to make others laugh by cracking a joke here and there. No need to apologize.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Afraid

  • Member
  • Posts: 39
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2007, 08:38:05 PM »
Wow!

I bet that really was closure for you, I wish that I could see that one that infected and raped me. I still to this day have nightmares about that dreadful night. All the could've should've would'ves haunts me on a daily basis. Not only did he infect me he stole my innocence. I was still a virgin at the time of the rape. I was saving myself for marriage, but this person had something else in store for me. I mean I still haven't disclosed to my family, but they know that I was raped we searched high and low for him..and nothing.

I really commend you for keeping your cool, because honestly I don't know how I would respond in that situation. I feel totally violated.

Any way the best to you and your family, and may God continue to bless you and yours... Take Care

Camry

Offline blacky1980

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2007, 11:54:13 PM »
Wow!

I bet that really was closure for you, I wish that I could see that one that infected and raped me. I still to this day have nightmares about that dreadful night. All the could've should've would'ves haunts me on a daily basis. Not only did he infect me he stole my innocence. I was still a virgin at the time of the rape. I was saving myself for marriage, but this person had something else in store for me. I mean I still haven't disclosed to my family, but they know that I was raped we searched high and low for him..and nothing.

I really commend you for keeping your cool, because honestly I don't know how I would respond in that situation. I feel totally violated.

Any way the best to you and your family, and may God continue to bless you and yours... Take Care

Camry
I am so sorry what happen to you It sounds like a story about my sister and it pains me when I hear that story about people  you have a lot of stuff to deal with I will pray for you that god give you peace and help you overcome your pain ok sorry again you can talk to me anytime you need me because I have a sister been through the same thing you've been through. God Bless you too
Blacky1980

Offline VickieLeeNYC

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2007, 06:03:30 AM »
The man who infected me initially denied it.  I had been involved with him for several years.  At the time, I had not been intimate with anyone else.  I knew he was positive early on in our relationsip.  When I informed him that he had transmitted the disease to me, he told me that it had to be someone else.  It took almost a year for him to finally accept the responsibility that he had done it.  Some might say it was my responsibility to protect myself.  However, he felt it was okay to put me at risk as long as I was aware.  In fact, he truly believed he was incapable of ever passing the disease because he considered himself in a "special" category of HIV positive people.  I wanted him to use protection from the very beginning.  But he never did.  I don't know how it would be if I didn't know who passed this disease to me.  At least I knew where to place my anger when I first became infected.  I placed it at the feet of both of us.

Offline Paulette

  • Member
  • Posts: 112
Re: I've found the man that infected me
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2007, 12:34:57 PM »
I like you; know the man that infected me. it was my ex-husband and  come to find out , he had already buried one wife and tried to me. It is against the law to knowingly infect  or to even expose someone to HIV/AIDS and i let the court system handle this one, my ex is now serving a five yr prison sentence for infecting me with HIV and i still can't seem to find closesure. It is a known fact that men like this will only go out and continue to spread this disease. why let them get a way with it? They need locked up for life for what they did. Do you want someone else to go Thur what you are because you did nothing but confront him, he needs to be in jail and not on the streets giving it to the next.
Paulette

It's up to us living with this disease to  help stop the spread of it.
I have HIV; it doesn't me;)

 


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