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Author Topic: Stupid Aussie Male  (Read 2463 times)

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Offline jamboy

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  • Posts: 6
Stupid Aussie Male
« on: July 24, 2007, 07:20:19 AM »
Hey everyone.

Yes it's true, i'm as stupid as the next guy (or next stupid guy).

I've had an affair with another married woman, yes we meet on the internet looking for some passion that we both don't have in our marriages. We meet and had protected intercourse , I used a new condom everytime (3). I never came - too stressed I suppose. hehehe.

We did also engage in oral for about a minute each unprotected (that's the stupid part) :-\

Now here I am at home not only feeling incredibly guilty (and so I should) :'(

I am also a bit scared because she said she thought her husband has been playing around a bit and she had never had a STD test. So, just say she was HIV+ what is my risk level? She's getting tested now and will get results soon but, well.....unknow  how the mind works? Mine is working over time of course. Should I get tested, I'll have to wait a couple of weeks of course but just a little peace of mind would be nuce from you guys if you think it's warranted.

cheers
Stupid Aussie bloke

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,286
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2007, 07:45:35 AM »
You always had protected vaginal sex so the risk is zero. Oral sex is zero for HIV, but it is possible to contract oral STDs.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2007, 08:12:22 AM »
Stupid Aussie Bloke,

Even if the woman IS hiv positive, you have not had a risk. You did the right thing and used a condom for intercourse. Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection, so no worries there either.

Along with reading our Welcome Thread and following the Transmission Lesson link, here's what you need to know to protect yourself from hiv:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

And by the way, guilty feelings do NOT change the science of hiv transmission. Hiv is not a punishment for extramarital sexual relations. It's a virus, nothing more, nothing less.

Ann
 
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jamboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2007, 05:39:02 PM »
Thanx Ann, Rod.

I sort of knew my worries were a bit over the top and hearing someone who has knowledge about such things is a good thing. I appreciate all the help you guys give out here even when you've heard the same things thousands of times and still you respond to people to control their fears.

cheers
Not so Stupid (anymore) Aussie Bloke.

Offline jamboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2007, 08:08:01 PM »
I'm a bit confused after reading some stories on this site. Some people have said that they tested positive while their partner tested negative. For example how can a married woman contract HIV from a partner that tested negative - while he was the one playing around not her? This is not related to my situation I am still waiting on her test results to see if I have anything to be concerned about.

So, is it true that their are some that just carry and not are actually affected by it?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2007, 08:20:37 PM »
I'm a bit confused after reading some stories on this site. Some people have said that they tested positive while their partner tested negative. For example how can a married woman contract HIV from a partner that tested negative - while he was the one playing around not her? This is not related to my situation I am still waiting on her test results to see if I have anything to be concerned about.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH STORIES YOU ARE READING. NO ONE CAN CONTRACT HIV FROM SOMEONE WHO IS HIV NEGATIVE. PERIOD.

So, is it true that their are some that just carry and not are actually affected by it?

JUST FOR FUTURE REFERENCE YOU NEED TO KEEP IN MIND THAT YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY. THAT MEANS always use a condom whenever you have intercourse unless you are in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners test negative at a reliable point.  No exceptions.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline jamboy

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2007, 08:28:21 PM »
Ouch!  :-\

Thanx Andy

Offline jamboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2007, 02:56:00 AM »
Hi Everyone, I found this web page which seems to be spot on with what people around here are saying in regard to risk.

I hope this is ok to post, otherwise my appologies, please don't kick me out.

http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp

It backs up what everyone here has been telling me.

cheers

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2007, 05:31:33 AM »
Jam,

As Andy says, you cannot get hiv from someone who is hiv negative.

The reason we recommend that everyone who is sexually active should test at least once a year, and ALWAYS before removing the condoms in a securely monogamous relationship, is because so many people don't have a clue about their status.

Many people go years and years with no symptoms. No symptoms at seroconversion and no symptoms after. For YEARS. Unfortunately, this leads too many to believe they don't need to test and so they don't bother.

Sometimes people who are unaware they are positive get into relationships and even marry people who are hiv negative. Sometimes these people infect their partners and sometimes they don't. As we say here, hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus.

I was in a relationship for a year and a half before we discovered my hiv status. We didn't use condoms until that point. Eight years later we're still together and he's still hiv negative. Chances are he'd be positive if we hadn't started using condoms. Maybe he wouldn't be, but we're not about to take that chance.

And just in case you're scratching your head - I was infected in a prior relationship and I know because he also tested positive a few years after we split up. It was his positive test that made me get tested.

Use condoms and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple. I simply cannot stress that enough.

Ann

edited for clarity
« Last Edit: July 26, 2007, 05:36:11 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jamboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Question
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2008, 05:42:54 AM »
Hi Just wanted to know if having protected sex while the woman is having her period is safe?

Thanx

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: Question
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2008, 06:07:12 AM »
Put your question in your original thread. Your questions will not be answered in a new thread.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,592
Re: Stupid Aussie Male
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2008, 08:36:59 AM »
I've merged your threads. Please keep all entries in this same thread.

Condoms provide very effective protection. Using one means it doesn't matter if your partner is HIV+ or not nor whether she is menstruating. You are well and effectively protected. So you don't have to be concerned about this recent incident. You were "covered."

Cheers,
Andy Velez

 


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